Chapter 10: I solved the puzzle

I laughed at my stupid thought. Ash couldn't have done that. he wouldn't have. That's way too much of a coincidence anyways. But it's was impossible for him to have done that. I mean it's Ash! He's a sweetheart on the inside, but just had a huge, high, think wall that surrounds him. He couldn't have that done that. He wouldn't have hurt someone like that. Anyways, say if Ash did it, he would've told me and not ask me to the his girlfriend.

You're in denial, Cas!

No, I'm not! And I'm going to prove it, okay mind? Ash couldn't have done that. It was by some drunk underaged fellow okay?

It was late, but I didn't care. I needed to prove my mind wrong and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep if I don't find out. Ash wasn't capable of doing it. He couldn't have. He wouldn't have. No one would be able to live with themselves if they've ever done that.

I reached the cemetery and rushing out of my car, slamming the door shut in the process, running to dad's grave.

I stopped when his grave came into view. I shattered. I froze. I panted. I cried . No, no, no! This can't be possible. Ash Anderson did not have killed my father! He couldn't have. But at this point, I know I'm in denial. On top dad's grave, I don't see only one bouquet of flowers, I see two. The same one Ash was holding. How could I have missed all this information?! He rides a motorcycle, he's been to jail, he came to the cemetery on my dad's death anniversary, his flowers were on dad's grave. All this, and I missed it?

The tears rolled down my cheeks, flowing like the Nigeria Falls. This can't be true. The guy I'm in love with killed my father.

Wait, I'm in love with him?

I cried harder at that. I was furious, upset, disappointed, but I was more focus on furious. I was kept in the dark for five years, not knowing who the cold blooded person was, yet now, I know who it is, and I have mixed feeling. I was furious that Ash had to be the one. I was furious at the fact that I was in love with the person that killed my father. I was furious that Ash was the one who had left me fatherless when I needed him the most. I was furious that Ash had been the one on the motorcycle. I was furious that he took up such a risk, trying to ride a motorcycle at the age of 15?! Ash was 20, and the accident was five years ago, so you do the damn math. I was furious that he asked me to be his girlfriend today. I was furious that he asked me in front of my dead father. I was furious that he didn't tell me the truth. He knew, but he didn't tell me. I was disappointed at the fact that Ash had taken such a risk. I was disappointed that he didn't tell me before asking me to be his girlfriend. I was upset that dad was dead because of Ash. Everything had been because of Ash.

I gripped the grass, pulling some off in the process. I stared at the grave. What am I suppose to do? I let out a frustrated groan-scream.

The sky started to feel me pain as little drops of pearls fell from the sky, wetting me from head to toe. This can't be true. I don't want to believe it! Ash will tell me the truth right? Maybe I just need to confront him. Maybe I just need to make it clear, because it might not be him. Maybe he just knows who the person is? Maybe he didn't get his motorcycle until two years ago?

I knew all these questions was just to make me not believe that Ash was the one.

"please don't let it be him," I whispered to dad.

The rain got heavier, and I knew I was just lying to myself. It had to be him.

I drove to Ash's house, furious, angry, sad, depressed, disappointed, confused. Why would Ash do such a thing to me? He didn't know my existence then, but why would he do such a thing to anyone for that matter?

The rain pelted on my windscreen. It wasn't getting any lighter, but that didn't stop me from going to Ash's house. I needed answers. I needed an explanation. I needed Ash to tell me that I was wrong. I needed him to promise that he never did such a thing

I knocked on the door, and after a while, someone opened it. No one when at the door though, but that was until I looked down.

"hi Cassie," Vanessa said.

"uh, hi," I said, shivering and crying.

"are you okay? you're going to get cold you know... and are you crying?" Vanessa asked worried, frowning a little bit.

"why are you up so late?" I asked, trying to change the topic.

"couldn't sleep, Ash is making me some warm milk" she shrugged the shouted as loud as her little voice could make, "Ash, Cassie is here!"

"hey," he grinned, coming out from the kitchen then frowned as he saw me drenched.

"c'mon in," he said, grabbing my hand.

I yanked my hand away, furious but my tears were still trickling down. Maybe they were angry tears.

"what's wrong?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrow.

"what's wrong?" I let out a dry laugh, "what's wrong is that you killed my damn father!" I shouted in his face.

He froze. He stiffened. He was like a deer caught in headlights. His eyes went huge, wide open. Vanessa stood there, a little shocked at the fact that I shouted. But I was more focused on Ash. He opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it. Then closed it, not knowing what to say.

"how did I figure it out, you may ask?" I said, venom traced in every single word I said.

He already knew. He realised he was careless. He realised that I put two and two together. He realised that I solved the puzzle.

"but you know, Ash, somehow I'm not that angry at the fact that you killed my father, because I've gotten over that, I've moved on, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. What I'm angry at is the fact that you didn't do any thing about it when you found out Arnold Flizz was my father. You even asked me to be your girlfriend! Was that suppose to make me not hate you? Was it suppose to make me not blame you for what you did? I don't think so, okay?! You kissed me to comfort me, you made me so happy by asking me to be your girlfriend, and yet all this time, you knew that you are the cold ass murderer that killed my father! you didn't speak up about it! Were you never going to tell me if I didn't find out? I can't believe I'm in love with the guy who kept me in the dark about my father's death!" I ranted, shouting at his face, hitting his chest.

By now, I wasn't crying angry tears, but they were sad tears. I can't believe the person I'm in love with, killed my father and kept me in the dark about it. I lost it. He's broken my heart. Maybe this was fate, telling us that we were never meant to be. He got hold of my hands and that made me stop hitting him.

"Nes, go to bed, please? let mom read you a bedtime story, okay?" Ash said, looking at her for a brief second.

"I'm sorry, Vanessa," I apologised, feeling a little bad to be shouting at her brother when she was watching.

"I'm going, it's okay"

That little girl was really understanding.

He cautiously let go of my hands, hoping that I wouldn't start hitting him again. I didn't hit him. I just stood there. I let the tears pour out, I didn't care anymore. I wanted an explanation. I needed an explanation, and he knew this.

"I was drunk," he started and I stopped him.

That was the wrong explanation I needed.

"why didn't you tell me?" I asked, in a voice so soft, so low, I was surprised he could hear me.

"I didn't know how, Cas, you have to understand that it was hard to tell you," he said.

"it was hard to tell me?" I asked, laughing with actually laughter, "you know what was hard Ash? It was finding out myself when you didn't have the balls to tell me!"

I couldn't take it. It's late, it's raining, it's dad's death anniversary, it's the first day I'm official with Ash, it's the days is find out who the killer was, and most importantly, it's the day I get hurt by the guy I'm in love with. It's just the same old cycle again, I got hurt by someone I loved.

I shook my head at him, I can't take it. I walked down the steps of his front door, not being able to take this. He followed, and I turned around, about to ask him to stop, to give me some time, at least a day or two, to process the information I had. Then, the deafening sound of a horn floods my eardrums...

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