Today, you see me as someone. A wild, feisty girl. What if I tell you that this is the result of metamorphosis? What if I tell you that I wasn't what I am today?

I used to be the one of the biggest violators of body standards. I was fat, super fat. Rewind to the age of fifteen to seventeen. I was a sincere student and a talented singer and writer. But somehow, that didn't define me. I was known as that "huge" girl, for I was tall as well. Nobody gave a damn about my talent. Size matters, right?

Studies to me is what preaching is to a parson. He cannot escape it. I had to sit down to study and complete projects most of the time, which were of course, super tedious to do. And no wonder, that led to extreme hunger and more body fat.

And with time, hate started to build up. No, not against people, against my own self. I hated to look at myself in the mirror. I wished I was a different person, the prototype I found in movies and TV shows. And the biggest problem with hate is, that it's stronger than the person who's facing it. The harder you try to push it away, the more it comes flying back to you.

There was a point when I locked myself in the bathroom and cried and only these four walls would understand what I was going through. Only they listened to my tears without spitting back. This little attached bathroom sees me naked every single day. But it never says anything.

Isn't it surprising to hear this from me? Wasn't I always a very quintessential girl who made you laugh? Well, here's the truth. I learnt to laugh because I cried before. But you know what, this sadness of mine wasn't any one else's fault. It was mine.

Shocked? You must be thinking I'm mad. The thing is, you can't give me something if I don't take it. That's the point. People threw shade at me, but who asked me to take it? Slowly and steadily, I learnt that body standards exist, because people, or rather victims like me accept them as their standards. But what if we decided to do our own thing? What if, we didn't give a care till the time people are sick of telling us? They are godforsaken people after all, and talking crap is just one of their vain attempts to make themselves useful.

This example of appearance standards is clearly illustrated in a little observation I made. In the sequel to a huge Hollywood filming franchise, a young actor about my age replaced the former actor for the same role in the previous three movies, as the latter had outgrown the role. Apparently, people threw hate at him like a shower. Why? His performance was amazing, talent unmatched. His expression was so realistic that I became an immediate fan. He got the hate, because people didn't personally approve of his looks. In their opinion, the older actor looked better, whereas the character had nothing to do with charming looks. The role didn't even ask for good looks! And how does personal opinion matter anyway? But people made the rudest memes and posts about the new actor beyond your wildest imagination. I won't name him or the movie, but how do you think he felt? He defeated more than two thousand people to this role and put in so much of effort, only to get dissed at! All that mattered were his looks. And he didn't even retaliate! He's my inspiration and spirit animal, for not giving two shits to these people and moving on. He's not made it way too big yet, but I pray to God he does. He deserves it.

Now you've heard this meaningless thing again and again. You're beautiful. But yes, this time, I'm not quoting from a Facebook post. You aren't going to be beautiful until you learn this secret beauty tip.

The little tip is that to look beautiful, you have to believe that you are beautiful. And not even the Haiti earthquake can shake your belief. The day you start loving yourself, people will automatically start loving you. Don't get disheartened if that cute freshman called you ugly. Don't get annoyed if your friends call you fat. Don't feel sad if the people you look up to make fun of your looks. You don't exist for them, you exist for yourself. Stop caring for others and start caring about yourself. Eat a chocolate after a long day at work. Whip up a huge latte during a migraine. Don't worry. Just. Don't.

Yours sincerely

Aranya.