FOUR WEEKS LATER

I had put the remaining of the fire out and then ran to join up with the rest of the hunting party up ahead.

It's been almost a week since we saw the Jaqu, the six-legged beast that would not only be worth this one week of hell, but it would also mean I can go home, and eat a hot meal, perhaps inside a hot bath.

I was getting frustrated with being out here with no luck and smelling like a mixture of beast blood, my sweat, and dirt from sleeping on the floor.

It's been a full day since we saw the beast, and failed to kill it, and everyone was starting to see it as another wasted day.

"Let us head back men, if we return now we at least met our quarter and can afford a hot meal and warm bed for the night." The leader, Ridac says, as all the men, including me sigh.

At this point neither one of us cared, we had enough monster fur and meat to sell to get a fair share, and we knew the Jaqu was still alive somewhere, and we'd get it next time.

"What are you doing once we get back, Felix?" Samu asked me, putting his arm around my neck, as we walked back to town.

What was I going to do... so many things, but one thing I really wanted to do, and have not stopped thinking of for the past week was...

"Have a bath." I said seriously, which made Samu stare at my face then break out laughing.

I shrugged his arm off from around me and then grabbed a piece of jerky from my pocket and then started to bite into its chewy, yet tasty goodness.

I couldn't wait to head back if I had to eat any more of this stuff... I'd seriously consider going solo, or worse, finding another job.

It's been four weeks since I left the castle, and had seen, or heard from Keial, the King.

Since I had been gone, that castle had turned into a palace, and Keial had not only expanded his territory but also his power and wealth in such a short time.

Each time someone mentioned him, I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach because of how much I missed looking at his face.

Keial had let me leave, but before I did, he not only became my King, but my Alpha, which not only gave me the protection he said he would provide nonetheless, but it also brought back many abilities that were taken from me, when I became rogue.

I could feel what he felt the moment I looked at him.

Keial really was my mate, and once he became my Alpha, my leader, and King, it became very real that he was telling the truth, despite only telling me lies.

I almost didn't leave, once I accepted being part of his world, the pull was intense, like a beast was clawing at me from the inside, trying to get out, to lick every inch of his body and claim him as mine.

Yet, I controlled myself and left, and didn't look back.

I ignored every voice in my head and heart telling me to stay, to accept him, to forgive him.

It's been four weeks, and every day has been torture.

*****

The tavern was packed with travelers, traders, and hunters, all of whom had just come back to the city to get a fresh hot meal before going home.

"Felix!" I hear my name, and turn around to look around, to see who called me.

Then I saw him, his blonde hair and contagious grin that made me feel lighter, and glad to be back inside these walls.

Ash.

"Did you just get back?" He asked, sitting down next to me, smiling from ear to ear as he looked at me.

"Yeah, and if you were wise, you'd not come any closer." I half-jokingly said, as he laughed, holding up his hand as he choked on the drink he had ordered, and started coughing, with ale coming out of his nose.

It was nice to see Ash, I had only seen him a handful of times since leaving my position as 'personal servant' to The King, but it was nice that he still wanted to remain friends with me.

He hadn't changed a bit, he was still as friendly as ever, as easy to speak to.

"So how are things?" He eventually asks, as I turn sideways, my elbow resting on the bar table top, and my chin resting on my palm.

"Good..." Despite smelling like death, and exhausted from lack of sleep and food.

"I mean I will be once I head home, and clean the dried blood off me."

"And you?" I ask him, as he puts his drink back down on the bar top.

"Busy as you could imagine." He sighs tiredly. "With the upcoming 30th birthday of The King, the construction, not to mention working from morning to night to make everything ready in time..."

"Everyone is just thankful, me included that tomorrow all our hard work will be paid off."

The King's birthday was tomorrow?

Keial was turning 30?

How did I not know that?

He was my mate but I didn't even know anything about him, even after everything we had done, and how much time I had spent with him.

We were practically strangers, but only now it bothered me because the mate bond was constantly making me think of him, and wanting me to go to him.

I wonder if Keial was feeling the same.

"Hey." Ash nudges me. "You should come!" His smile was blinding before he looked at me, and his smile started to sink.

"Unless you and uh... The King still hasn't talked... then uh, forget I even said anything." He cringed.

"I really needed to learn to shut my mouth, sorry."

I force a laugh and wave him off, ignoring the painfully tightening feeling in my chest because of thinking of him.

I had told Ash why I had left and trusted him with the information of Keial and I being mates, and to his word, he had not told or spoken of it to anyone.

I was glad I told him to have someone to talk to about this stuff, but at times like these, where I miss him more than usual by being back inside these walls, all I wanted to do was just get up and walk away.

"It's fine, and uh no." I scratch my cheek. "I haven't seen him since that day."

Keial had kept his word, he had kept his distance and was giving me time to think about what I really wanted, but it's been four weeks, and I still didn't know what I wanted.

I had left and found a job hunting creatures outside the wall, every day I put my life on the line for a hot meal and a few coins.

Some stupid part of me had hoped that Keial would find out what I was doing, and plead for me to stop, but there was nothing, and I had never felt more stupid than I did thinking he actually cared after how I left him.

I had to stop thinking like that, this wasn't up to him anymore.

He had handed it over to me, it was up to me whether we saw each other again, and my fault it had dragged on this long.

Everything was still such a mess, but at this point, I was too scared to meet him, especially after having not seen, or talked to him since that day we had our first big argument.

"I should go." I get up from my seat, no longer in the mood for hot potato soup.

"Oh." Ash got up from his seat and then looked at me guiltily, before awkwardly stepping forward and putting his arm around me, whilst clenching his eyes tightly.

"You don't need to do this." I laughed and patted him on the back before he pulled back and then looked relieved as he looked like he held his breath.

"It's done now, besides, you're like my best friend and I'm just happy you're alive, even if you do smell dead." He said seriously, making me bark with laughter.

I should be insulted, but he wasn't wrong.

"It's good to be back and uh... I'll think about your offer." I scratch my chin nervously, as his eyes light up.

"Do that." He smiled, and then his face turned serious.

"But first, please go take a bath, It's already worse that everyone in here smells the same." He gagged, making me grin and nod my head.

I said bye, and waved at Ash one last time before heading out into the fresh cool out outside the tavern, and into the lively streets of the city, that make any place feel like home from the laughter and happy, smiling faces.

It was good to be back.

I look up through the cold air to the new palace that overlooks the city in awe, that feeling in my chest whenever I thought of him making it unbearable to be apart.

I missed Keial, and it was all my fault.

Four weeks had given me a lot of time to go over everything Keial had done, said, and put me through since I had known him, and despite all that, I had forgiven him.

I understood why he did what he did, it was just who he was, Keial was raised in this world, whilst I only saw a glimpse of it through a crack in the wall.

He was my mate, but the obvious remained.

He was a King and needed to have an heir to keep his bloodline alive, and I couldn't give him that future, or the happiness that went with having a child.

If I were to reject him, he could have all that.

I'd be cutting the only ties I have with him to really live my own life, just like I wanted the moment I was kicked out of my pack.

I didn't know what to do...

I wanted to be with him, but why did I feel so selfish for wanting that, he was my mate, wasn't he?

So then why... Why did it feel... like I didn't belong here, with him?