Chapter 45: Final Goodbye

Someone once told me he'd wait for me, even if it takes forever.

But at the time when hate and betrayal were swelling in my heart, when all the truth I once believed in came back to me with a slap, the only think I could think of was to stop everything because I was tired.

He's no good guy. He was once known to be a danger on campus. Dark hair and a devilish smirk. Lush eyebrows and a cutting jawline, and eyes that was playfully alluring.

No one would think that a guy like him, who's world used to revolve on the palm of his hands, would beg to be forgiven.

Was I heartless not to forgive him?

It was the thought I had for weeks, months, and years.

Dapat bang hindi ako umalis? Dapat ba akong manatili kahit sirang sira na ako?

For the first few months after leaving the city, I kept asking myself if I did the right thing.

Lumayo ako na ang tanging kasama ay si Mama at tanging dala ay isang bag ng gamit at gamot. Wala akong dalang kahit ano para sa sarili ko. All I know I was aching to get away.

We arrived in a lakeside town where my mom used to spend her younger years. Kahit paano, nakatulong sa amin ang mga dati niyang kakilala. The small, quaint village was charming. People were pleasant and friendly. My mom and I rented a small apartment at the second floor of an old flowershop.

What I love most about the place was the lakes and the woods beyond. There were docks and trails towards the water. Whenever I open my room window I could see the waters and the way the trees and small mountains reflect on the smooth calm surface of the lake.

Gustong gusto kong naglalakad tuwing umaga at tuwing pauwi ako sa hapon sa tabi ng lake. It gave me the calm I wasn't able to have for the last few years. I might have been heartless for leaving, but my heart deserved this corner of peace.

Hindi ako agad nakapagaral sa mga unang buwan ko sa bayan dahil mas inuna ko ang pagbangon namin ni Mama. Nagtrabaho ako sa isang restaurant malapit sa lake. I was kept busy with my work and the first six months became bearable.

It took me a while to learn about the community college in the nearby town. Sinubukan kong mag enrol muli sa huling taon ng kurso ko.

I was glad my school requirements were already prepared for because of the exchange program. Hindi ko man ito naituloy dahil ayaw kong muling maging konektado sa dati kong mundo, the community college was kind enough to recognize my eligibility to pass the program and gave me the chance to avail a half scholarship program in their own institution.

Unti unti akong nakabangon sa bagong lugar. Until last month I was working at the restaurant. Nakapag-ipon ako kasabay pag-aaral at pagtatrabaho. Little by little, I became okay.

"Aalis ka, anak?"

Both mom and I were preparing to go out of our small apartment that afternoon. Her, in a dress and putting a bit of powder on her face and me, wearing dark jeans and loose white blouse.

"May dadaanan lang po ako sa bayan. Do you need my help at the shop? Mukhang madami ang mga orders mula kahapon."

Ngumiti si Mama. "Hindi na kailangan, anak. Mas kailangan mong maghanda para mamayang gabi."

"Of course Ma, I would never miss it for the world."

I caught sight of my mom's reflection on the mirror. Malaki na ng pinagbago niya mula noong una kaming tumapak sa lugar.

From both of us being scared to start again, to her, confidently smiling at customers. Muli niyang binuhay ang lumang flower shop sa ibaba ng apartment noong nakaraang taon sa maliit na puhunan. Ngayon, siya na ang puntahan ng halos lahat sa bayan tuwing may espesyal na okasyon.

She was a good florist then. Pero ngayon, mas naging maganda at detalyado ang mga gawa niya.

Sabay kaming bumaba sa flower shop bago ako nagpaalam kay Mama. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of the colorful flowers. I put my small bag in the basket and rode my green bike. It was such a small town and almost everyone knows everybody.

Noong una natakot ako dahil dito. It's far from the city where I came from where people mostly kept things to theirselves. My new world was a close knit town and I didn't want them to discover I'm a nouveau.

Pero dahil din doon kaya madali kong nakilala ang ilang tulad ko. There was a nouveau couple in this small town at sila din ang tumanggap sa akin noong naghahanap ako ng trabaho.

"Iilan lang tayo dito. Sino pa ba ang magtutulungan kundi tayo din."

Those were the words that the young couple told me. And they were kind enough to include me in the list of blood rations from organizations made for vampires and people like us. Sa kanila ako lumalapit tuwing nangangailangan ako ng dugo.

Pero hindi 'yon ang dahilan ng pagpunta ko sa kanila ngayong araw.

"Good morning!"

The door chimed when I entered the laid back place. Isa ang resto sa mga paborito kong lugar sa maliit na bayan. It has a wrap-around porch and a wide deck kung saan makikita ang mga upuan at mesa para sa mga customers and it's overlooking the lake. Pinalilihiran din ang lugar ng luntiang mga puno ang both the place and the owners were as pleasant.

"Denise," niyakap ako ng babaeng may-ari ng restaurant, si Miss Lani.

She's twenty nine years old and her husband, Sir Louie is thirty three. They were both beautiful people. She's elegantly beautiful and her husband is ruggedly handsome. Bagay na bagay sila sa isa't isa.

"Akala ko nakalimutan mo na kami." Dumating si Sir Louie sa tabi niya. They stared at each other, in loved.

And I remembered the man I used to stare with the same affection two years ago. I remembered all of our dreams and our promises. We were so young, so naive, so foolishly and unapologetically in loved.

We were.

Maybe some people deserves happy endings together. And some people deserves happiness apart. But it doesn't lessen the happiness that these people feel.

"The flower arrangement from your mom was gorgeous, by the way. I hope she would send me again next week," said Miss Lani.

"I'd tell her."

We were in the middle of a busy restaurant full of human. But we mingle and blend well. And though there's still the sting and the unsettling air around us, humans could never point it out.

"So when's the graduation?" asked the couple in chorus, followed by a laugh.

"Tonight," nakangiting sinabi ko.

"May graduate na pala tayo," biro ni Sir Louie.

"And the interview at the art gallery last week?" Miss Lani asked, hopeful.

Mas lalong lumapad ang ngiti ko. "I passed the interview. I might start as assistant curator next month!"

Miss Lani beamed. "That's great news, Denise."

"Thank you for the things you've done for me."

"Come one, Denise. It's the least we could do for the likes of us."

Nag-usap pa kami sandali. Tungkol sa graduation. Tungkol kay mama at sa shop. Mama knew about them. She knew about me being a nouveau. Sinabi ko ang lahat lahat sa kanya noong umalis kami sa city. And though it was hard to accept the fact that I may no longer be normal, unti unti niyang natanggap ang katotohanan.

Because the mark of being a nouveau was still on me. It will always be a reminder of who I was and what I once had. It will always be a reminder of Landon Monaghan.

Two years.

Two long years of starting over, of trying to stand up on my own after a misbecoming fall. Now I stand, finally proud of who I am.

Nagpaalam ako sa mag asawa at nangako na bibisita ulit. Pero bago makababa sa deck, muling lumapit sa akin ang mag asawa.

"Denise, someone might want to congratulate you tonight."

Hindi na ako nagtanong kung sino ang tinutukoy ng mag asawa. A part of me knew who it might be.

Pinark ko ang bike sa tapat ng flower shop paguwi ko.

"May nagdeliver nanaman ng mga bulaklak."

Ito ang bati ni mama pagpasok ko sa shop. In front of us were dozens of bloody red roses. Napakatingkad ng kulay ng mga bulaklak.

"Nakapagtataka dahil hindi naman ako nago-order ng ganitong klase. Mahal sila at mahirap hanapin. Pero tuwing magbabayad ako, everything would be paid for."

"Just... just let them be, Ma," sinabi ko. "Anyway, they would be good for bouquets."

Siguro ay hindi ito napapansin ni Mama because of the constant delivery of flowers for the shop. But the arrival of the specific giant roses have things in common.

Dumadating sila tuwing may okasyon. They were there in the day of my last two birthdays and mom's birthdays. Even in random occasions sometimes. When I finally enrolled in the university. At the end of every final exams, o noong nakapasa ako sa interview. It was as if congratulating me for every milestone that I passed.

I used to hate it coming. Pero hindi ko ito maitapon o maibalik sa nagdeliver because for Mom, flowers deserves to be appreciated. She always kept them on display but never for sale. Until they dried up and wither.

I used to hate it because I was afraid of what comes with it. Naghinala ako. Nangamba. That was how pained, vulnerable, and miserable I was. Pero sa patuloy na pagdating ng mga ito unti unti ay nasanay ako.

Naghanda ako para sa graduation march program noong gabing yon. I wore a simple maroon dress as I stare at the mirror. I smiled at myself with a bit of tears in my eyes. You did well, Denise.

In the back of my mind, there's still the corner where I wish I could tell someone. It was the moment where I saw how far I've gone and the people I have left behind.

Pumasok si Mama sa kwarto at niyakap ako nang mahigpit. "Masaya akong makita kang masaya. It's great to see you've been healed."

I am. I silently said. Finally.

We rented a car to drive to the open pavilion near the lake where the program would take place. Sa daan pa lang hindi na ako makapag-hintay. I've been pulled back a year because of all the mess I've been part of. Pero ngayon, magtatapos na ako.

Dumating kami sa venue na puno ng tao. The air was crisp and pleasant. The place was busy, full of hopes, of good wishes, and dreams coming true.

May mga magulang na naiiyak habang pinagmamasdan ang mga anak nila. The place was littered with black robes and colorful bouquets and corsets which I recognized was from my mom's flower shop.

Tinulungan ako na mama na isuot ang robe ko. "What do I look like?" I turned around with the wind slightly blowing the fabric.

"Golden," my Mom said. "You're shining so bright, my daughter."

My smile became soft as I tried to hold back tears. "Ma, I made it. We made it."

Nagsimula ang program kung saan isa isa kaming tinawag. The endless music of the graduation march, the triumpant smiles of the graduates as school heads handed their anticipated diplomas. Everything felt surreal under the clear night sky and my name finally collided with the joyous air.

"Althea Dennis Limerick..."

I stood up, turn to my mom who was sitting in the audience and smiled. I walked with pride, with the applause of the people around me. I was a bit shaking when the teacher handed me the diploma.

"Congratulations, Miss Limerick."

The teacher ushered me to face the photographer for a photo. Pero sa gitna ng mga nakangiting mukha, isang tao ang napansin kong nakatitig sa akin. He was in the far side of the venue, far from people.

In the midst of the noise and overwhelming feeling, my heart skip a beat.bThere's a lot of people, a lot of distance between us, pero nakatitig kami sa isa't isa.

Tinawag ang kasunod ko and I know I have to break the contact. I proceeded to my walk, shaking hands with teachers and deans and giving my thanks for being part of this achievement.

Nang makababa ako sa stage, muli kong linibot ang tingin sa mataong paligid. I tried to stare through the crowd of black robes. But there was no one... nothing achingly familiar.

I went back to my seat. Muli kong binalik ang pansin sa mga natitirang nagmamartsa. And even though I could feel a part of my heart nervously beating, a soft smile spread on my lips. Because I know this beating heart wasn't for someone anymore.

Natapos ang program ng alas onse ng gabi. Pictures were taken and congratulatory messages were exchanged. Binati ko ang ilan sa mga naging kaklase ko na nakasama ko ng isang taon.

There were moments during the night where I would remember the friends I used to be with at Saint Mathews University. I remembered Elyse, Daniela, Justin and Clomil.

The last time I heard from Elyse was last year, kung saan tumawag ako sa kanya para sabihin na okay lang ako and to congratulate her for graduating. Ididn't tell her where I am. But I promised her I would meet her soon. A more mature, more free Denise.

Hinanap ko si Mama sa gitna ng mga tao na paalis sa venue. I excused myself from the crowd and made my way through. Pero bigla akong timigil nang isang pamilyar na mukha ang muli kong nakita sa gitna ng mga tao. And this time, he's closer.

My heart was beating fast at the sight of him. Familiar. From the past. There were many instances for the last two years I imagined how our first meeting should be. I imagined the place where it should be and the words I should say. Madami akong bagay na gustong sabihin, isumbat, itanong sa kanya.

Some words were full of hatred and possible loathing. Pero habang lumilipas ang mga araw, linggo, buwan at taon, unti unting nabura ang mga salitang 'yon sa isipan ko.

And that was why I was speechless standing in front of him. Because there was nothing more left. Not hatred. Not love.

Landon Monaghan was someone familiar. Just familiar. And that truth was freeing.

Lumapit ako sa kanya. He's the same dark-hair, devilish smirk guy that I know. But gone was the playful smile and the dangerous glint in his eyes. We're both serious, eyes at each other.

He offered me a bouquet of familiar red roses. "Congratulations , Denise Limerick."

We're in the middle of a crowded venue, where people were dying to leave. Because for some of us, once we step out of this place, it is new beginning. But standing in front of the person I used to love, I know this is our final goodbye.

Nakita ko si Mama malapit sa entrance. She nodded at me with an understanding smile.

"Pwede ka bang sumama sa akin sandali?" Tanong ko kay Landon.

He stared at me, the black orbs that once captivated me was still the same, expressive, intriguing. But I know now. I know everything now.

Pumunta kami malapit sa lake kung saan makikita ang ilang puno at isang maliit na wooden dock sa tubig. I was still holding the bouquet of flowers that he gave me. My robe was being blown by the wind from the open lake.

"How have you been, Landon?"

There was a smile on his lips when he heard the words. Umiling siya at muling tumitig sa akin. There was no doubt that he's still devilishly handsome. But this face, this man in front of me, is not for me anymore.

"I was okay. Sort of. I broke the tie with my family a year ago. I was living in my savings and investments for a couple of months before I ventured into investing in realty and an architecture company. Years of growing under the Monaghan's roof did me good, at least. All the savings, gifts, and luxuries now in good forms."

That was why there's something different in him. He was now more unbarred. Like he was breathing good air. Natatandaan ko noon nakakatakot siyang lapitan dahil sa panganib na kaya niyang ibigay.

But maybe, because of the situation and conditions we were accustomed to, who we are is not something we could freely be. And that's the case for someone like him, or River, or Yllona, and the Monaghans.

"How was the twins?"

He placed his hands inside his jean pockets. "The three of us co-owned the company."

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. "Really?"

"I manage the finances. Yllona manages the PR and marketing. River's focus on people management and other stuff. You know how fatally charming they are."

Hindi maalis ang ngiti sa labi. Nakakatuwa. Nakakapanibago.

"How have you been Denise Limerick?"

I showed him my graduation robe and diploma. "I'm officially a fine arts graduate and has been offered to work in an art gallery."

He stared at me with fondness. "I'm proud of you."

We stared at each other  for what seems like forever. At sa mga segundong yon bumalik sa akin ang mga alaala na nakasama ko siya. All the bickering, and the mess, and chaos we've survived.

Doon ko napagtanto na wala kaming alaala na masaya o parehong nakangiti o tumatawa. There were no carefree days for us, days where we were simple together, happy, unscared, in loved.

Maybe that's why we didn't work out. Because we were full of shattered pieces, and trying to fix each other but ended up causing more pain from our sharp edges. It's okay to accept this fact. Because we've come this far and we're proud of us.

"The flowers, you were the one sending them right?" Bigla kong sinabi.

He took a deep breath then nodded. "Yeah. I hope they didn't bother you for the last two years."

"It did. At first. Pero ngayon okay na ako."

It was not only about the flowers. The words I've said was about everything that we both had gone through. All of it killed both of us at first, pero ngayon pareho na kaming bumabangon.

"The white flowers you've send at exactly the same date for two years. Was it... was it for my dad?"

Pareho kaming huminga nang malalim sa takbo ng aming usapan. He lightly tilted his head up to breathe fresh air and to release his broad shoulders from stiffen.

"May 25th was the day he asked me a favor. Ilang linggo siyang nawala bago 'yon not knowing he's under my grandfather's paws. Tumakas siya para lang puntahan ako at makiusap. He asked me, on his knees, with eyes full of tears, for me to end his life."

Those words... those familiar words were now coming from him.

"I was young, foolish, and scared. I didn't know what to do. It was the man I admired the most, the only human I looked up to. At gusto niyang tapusin ko ang buhay niya."

"He told me that his family would be in danger kapag hindi ko 'yon ginawa. Pero saka ko lang nalaman ang totoo matapos ang lahat. Na kaya niya gustong mamatay ay dahil sa pamilya ko. Kay lolo."

"Humingi ng huling pabor sa akin, ang poprotektahan kita. A human died in my hands. I was the murderer of your father."

Pareho kaming natahimik. Parehong nakatayo sa harapan ng isa't isa habang dinuduyan ng hangin ang mga halaman sa paligid.

"I just wished I have known his reasons sooner. Maybe things didn't have to end that way. It would have been nice to meet you as his daughter."

The truth was something I have known for a while now. Mama was the one who initially knew the truth about my father. Naalala niya ito sa araw ng pagkamatay ni Papa.

She told me that while she was at the hospital for overdosing slipping pills, my father secretly visited her to bade goodbye. Sinabi ni Papa na may kailangan siyang gawin para sa kaligtasan ni mama at ako. At walang kasalanan ang batang si Clifford dito.

Clifford. Landon Clifford Monaghan.

Siguro nga ay pareho kaming naging biktima ng kapalaran. Ng maling sitwasyon. He's an angel who was forced to dress in a devil's clothes.

And those truths were equally hard to accept for me. I didn't know what was more painful to take in. Knowing my father begged to be killed, knowing the man I used to love was the one who did it unintentionally. Or the fact that everything happened because of who we once were. Him being a Monaghan and me, being the daughter of the human he once trusted.

That's why I remained wherever I was even if I knew the truth. Because it was the only way for me to rebuild myself. It was the only way I could pick up my shattered pieces.

And maybe all of us needed it. To get away from things that pained us no matter how blissful and mystifying the feelings could be.

And freedom, though lonely at first, is something that could teach us to stand in our own. Like what it did to me. Like what it did to Landon and the twins and for every person who needed it.

And here we are now, standing in front of each other. Youthful eyes were now replaced by rational, more unapologetic and mature gazes.

The what ifs and might have beens were as far away as our forgotten past. And the only thing that matters is where we are, who we are with, and where we want to be.

"Landon... I forgive you."

The words were like wings... spread so widely, so beautiful, into the air.

Landon stared at me with a soft smile and we both know we could never go back to the people we once were.

"You will always be my light, Denise."

"And you will always be my angel dressed in a devil's suit."

And though the words were as familiar as what we once had, we both know that the feelings pouring out of it were different now. Because we are not trapped anymore by fate, by circumstances. We are now free to be who we are.

"I have to go now, Landon."

I was the first to break the stare. I took a step back as a sign of stepping away.

"Ingat ka."

"Ikaw din."

Tuluyan akong lumayo at tumalikod. But it was not a painful walking away. It was the opposite of it. It was happy, hopeful, and freeing.

"See you again... someday."

Muli akong lumingon sa kanya dahil sa kanyang sinabi. At sa huling pagkakataon bago kami tuluyang maghiwalay, ngumiti ako.

"Someday."

And maybe that someday was nothing but hopeful words. Maybe it could happen or maybe we won't see each other again after tonight.

But I know... we both know... we may not end up together, we may have parted ways, but we will always be a part of each other.

Maybe life will give us a chance to meet again someday. In a different circumstances, in a new place, to a better us.

Maybe we'll be better. More rational. More mature, with a world wider that the city we used to be our whole world.

And I, Althea Denise Limerick, once fell in love with a guy, with a devilish smirk and dangerous eyes.

I once fell in love with Landon Clifford Monaghan and though we didn't end up together like the promises and dreams we had made, like a trap, we knew our love for each other would always be a part of who we are. And that's one thing I would never regret. To be part of The Devil's Trap.

THE END

Author's Note:

The Devil's Trap is a story that I've enjoyed writing and Denise's point of view was a pleasure to write. I would surely miss her and the rest of the characters in this story.

This ends my journey here too as your author. Thank you for showing me that there are people who are willing to know the kept universe inside my head through my words. Thank you for believing in my capability to write stories. And though this story is the last on going story that I have, like Denise and Landon, I will hope for my own someday for us to meet again over a story.

I hope you enjoyed reading The Devil's Trap as much as I enjoyed writing it. Both of Landon and Denise had been through a lot and I know happy endings comes in many forms and this is my version for them. Better, happier, apart.

#TDTFinalGoodbye is the hashtag where I would check your thoughts about the story or any message you want me to read. So please use this tag.

Wipe your tears now, my loves.

I love you, please always remember that.

I will end this journey now and I don't know when I'm going to see you again but please remember that my stories are always here, and that means I'm always here too. Open any of my stories whenever you miss me and you'll see me there.

Until we meet again,
April