Shifting in my seat nervously, I looked at Zak.

"What's taking them so long?"

He shook his head gently, neither of us knew what was taking so long. Just that we were sat waiting for Detective Wicks, in a room that was stuff as hell!

I looked at Zak's pressed black shirt, one similar to the ones he wore for his interviews. A shirt that fit mouth-wateringly perfect against his arms. He had done his hair this morning and from his together appearance, I could only guess that we were heading to the museum after this meeting.

Sleep had evaded me again last night, packing up its bag and hot tailing it out the door. And if truth were known, I spent the majority of the night watching Zak sleep like some weirdo. I wasn't borderline stalker or obsessed, I just found comfort in seeing his chest rise and fall. Comfort in seeing him totally relaxed.

I even noticed how he would always touch me, a few times, I purposely moved myself away, but he shifted across the bed to get closer and if the bedding got in the way, he'd stir and shove it aside before snuggling up closer. I presumed it was a comfort thing for him, because even now, sitting in a police station, awaiting Detective Wicks who's investigating Randy's case, Zak was still touching me. From a soothing arm around the shoulder, to our knees touching, and to holding my hand.

"Just relax." He whispered rubbing the back of my neck. "I'm here with you."

I nod and take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. Turning in my seat slightly, I rested my head against his "I just want to be at home. With you and Gracie."

"I know and we will be... Soon. But we have to find out what's going on."

With that, the door was swung open and the man who we had been waiting for walks in with a reasonably sized file stuffed under his arm.

"Good heavens! It's hot in here!" He frowns dropping the file onto the table in order to slide open the windows. At first, I don't see any difference, especially with the bars set across the windows but then the breeze comes in and I'm instantly thankful.

No doubt noticing my reddened face, he steps out the half opened doors. "Moores! Get some water into this room, I woke in a station not a sweatshop!"

I traded Zak a look and moved closer to the window, with his hand still attached to my leg.

Detective Wicks was a heavy built man, but I couldn't determine under the whole suit façade if he was carrying some extra pounds or if in fact he was extremely well built in muscle mass. His dark hair was combed to the side and his eyes were dark brown. I could totally see him being the type to play golf on the weekends.

"Mr Bagans, Ms Winters. I apologise for the lack of brain cells some of these officers seem to withhold today, placing you in here. My goodness." He spoke shedding his jacket to reveal an empty gun holster.

The door opens to a uniformed officer, concentration was plastered on his face as he came in with water for the three of us, before muttering his apologies and leaving the room.

I picked up the water and began drinking it back as quickly as I could, feeling the cold water slide down my throat was something short of heaven.

"How are you?" Detective Wicks asked eyeing me carefully.

"Okay." I murmured.

He nodded and looked to Zak who then added that sleep for me was inadequate and that he was relieved now there was some control and they had Randy in their cells.

Zak's hand moved off my knee to rub my back in a circular motion before passing his cup of water over to me.

I gave him a grateful smile before focusing back on Detective Wicks.

"Thank you for coming in, I know you weren't expecting a call late last night and quiet frankly, I wasn't expecting anymore developments beyond what we already had. But it appears there has been..."

I look at Zak before turning back to him as he opened a large folder. "Yesterday morning we had a young girl enter the station, in distress. I can't relay everything that's been said but I can tell you that what she says matches the statements you made.... As a child."

The wind kept trying to soothe me but the room felt as if someone had turned on the heating.

"She says Randy, was her step father and had subjected her to a torrent of abuse. I've spoke to my superior and he says it's okay for me to disclose that the woman in question has come forward with her story and evidence that proves Randy was mixed up in some dark circles. Her story almost mirrors yours, regarding the age of the abuse, methods and what was to come, luckily for you, you escaped. She did not..."

I gasped gently.

"It's a complex case and we do intend on charging him with the accusations made due to the evidence provided..."

"What kind of evidence?"

"I can't discuss that. But it's indisputable evidence."

"What could be so solid that a jury won't destroy?" Zak frowned.

Detective Wicks shifted in his seat looking uncomfortable with that question.

But my mind, that was said to be overworked and sometimes borderline ridiculous worked it out. It was solid, more solid that anything that can be doctored of fabricated, it was clearly sensitive too...

"A child." I uttered.

Detective Wicks looked down at the folder and placed his hand on top of it. Not confirming or denying it.

"Are you fucking kidding?" Zak questioned in shock.

"You can't tell us if it is a child, clearly.. But it's solid evidence. You got him on DNA... Haven't you?"

"Yes."

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach "That poor girl."

"Which is what she was at the time. Teenage pregnancies are becoming more and more common across the US. But at 14 years old.."

"Jesus Christ.." Zak spoke beside me, his hand tightening on my leg.

"He's a predator, he always has been. He had a type." I answered shaking my head.  "Dark hair, dark eyes. Only it changed when he met my mom and saw me... Said he would get more for me because of my eyes. He would break you, make you feel worthless and weak before giving you just enough attention to make you crave it. Then he would have a party. I left before the party, because it wasn't birthday streamers, banners and cake. It was drink, drugs and...." I stopped as the urge of sickness hit me.

Detective Wicks looked at the paperwork in front of him, the tatty paper showed its years but I recognised my hand writing. "As I said, it mirrors yours."

It was my statement, made many moons ago whilst I was in the hospital, my Gran sitting beside me, holding my hand and keeping absolutely silent whilst I told an officer what was happening. It then had to be put into words, my words, my writing..

"We can push for a conviction, for you... If you-"

"No." I interrupt making Zak's head snap to my direction.

"What?!"

"No." I repeat again before looking over at him. "I-- I have no right to complain. Okay he has left me with scars and they will always be on my body and the nightmares will always be of him. But compared to the other girl, I got off pretty lightly."

"Because you ran." Zak pointed out. "You could have been that girl."

Detective Wicks nods his head in agreement.

"I can't."

"Delilah—"

"I said I can't!" I snap at Zak pushing my head into my hands as my mind whirls.

"It's a lot to take in, even more to rake up and relive.. We don't need an answer straight away, it's just something to consider."

I frown "Why would a jury believe me now? If they wouldn't when I first reported it."

Detective Wicks shifted in his seat "Times have changed. A poor excuse, I know. Whilst you have the scars on your skin, your testimony can still be picked apart whilst you're on the stand. It would essentially be your word against his."

"So what would be the point?"

He sat forward "The point would be to put this sadistic bastard away. The point being this girl coming forward, with evidence, indisputable evidence and that will sway the jury into believing that this man isn't what he claims to be. That he's in fact a wolf in sheep's clothing."

"This is your chance Delilah. To nail him." Zak whispered.

I chewed my lip and looked at him, just really looked at him and everything he was. I took in the sun on his face, the twinkle in his eyes, the glistening on his lips from where he's wetted them with his tongue. His hair spiked and the stubble around his chin.

"We will decide later." He speaks turning back to Detective Wicks and for the first time, he pulls away from me completely. "What else do you have for us?"

I fall into my own mind. Ignoring the rest of what leaves Detective Wicks mouth as I look at Zak's face, unable to figure out how to feel.

Was he mad that I didn't jump at the chance of pursuing my abuse?

Should I be more determined than what I am?

Did I want to let this go?

Could I let this go? To move on?

He was as good as dead. Life inside prison was in itself a death sentence.

+++

Okay, he's pissed off.

Since coming back from the station, Zak had been checking the gravity within the house as he stomped around and slammed things down. The irritation was written all over his face. I had tried to ignore the petulant child routine, look past the glares and block out the sighs.

But it was clear, he was baiting for an argument.

"Just say it!" I snapped as he slammed the kitchen cupboard.

"You know what? Fine! I will! What the fuck what that back there? You can't pursue charges?! After everything he's done to you!"

"How is pulling up the past going to help me? It's his word against mine! Like it was all those years ago! It's pointless! I have no evidence!"

"Your body is enough evidence!"

"It's not enough!" I fire back. "I will get on that stand and they will destroy me! How can I get up there and relay all my childhood memories?!"

"Easy! If you want him sent down!" Zak shouted.

"He's going down! No matter what!"

"But it would be longer if you just co-operated with them!"

I pulled at my hair in frustration. "You don't get it! I can't do it!"

"Yes you can—"

"And what about my reputation! Huh?! Who's going to be there to fix that after his defence tears into me? Call me a liar, because they will. It's there job to fight dirty, even if it's some miscarriage of justice! They have to defend their client! And what happens when I join the show again? When people, fans find out? When people find out we are together? Because it will all come out! And how will I damage your reputation?!"

"Mine's in the trash already!"

"But it will be even worse with mine! Can't you see?" I ask "I'm doing this for us!"

He shakes his head "No. No don't you dare try blaming this on me!"

"I-I'm not. I'm just saying—"

"Your problem is that you're playing the victim too fucking much! That girl has a kid with that piece of shit! And she got the courage to stand up to him!"

My jaw drops at his words. Playing the victim..

"Fuck you. How dare you say that. After everything that's happened." I snarl as I grab my phone and pain killers before leaving the kitchen.

I'm walking through his house with tears filling my eyes, ignoring his shouts behind me. I go into the bedroom and slam the door behind me, blocking out his voice.

Of course I felt bad! Of course a part of me wanted to make sure that monster never saw the light of day again! But I didn't have any evidence! I could stand there and show my scars, but they could be from anything! The jury could say I did it to myself, that I self harmed, they might call me a liar. Then what happens if people find out?

People who will dissect my life? People who will slate me? I don't expect everyone to love me, but to be supported or at least understand that I too have been through some shit and don't need to hear them calling me names, or saying that I'm a liar or even worse? That I was asking for it...

What if it effected Zak? The show?

Deciding on the spot was never going to happen because there's so much to take into consideration! But yet all I want to do is act the victim?! With stitched in my liver!

All I want to do is act the victim as I take painkillers and struggle to move like I always used too!

To know my mom only acted a mom minutes before killing herself, after she pretty much held me at gunpoint.

But I'm playing the victim... Of course.

And here I was thinking he was understanding, he wanted to help. He was concerned and worried too, yes.  But he doesn't know what it's like to live with this.

He had no idea!