Zak placed the painkillers in front of Delilah, on the glass kitchen table, making her look up at him.

"Take them."

She sat back against the seat and sighed "I don't need them."

He cocked his head to the side, knowing full well how bad of pain she was in. Delilah forgot how perceptive he was when she was holding herself, moving slower and he knew she wasn't sleeping.

"I don't need them yet." She corrected before returning back to her food in which she pushed around her plate.

"If you don't take them, then you need to eat."

"Please Zak, stop fussing over every little thing."

"I can't help it. It's my job to care."

"It's not your job to smother me!" She snapped before dropping her fork and pushing her face into her hands.

It had been two days since they returned from the hospital, two days of silence, bad moods, no appetite or sleep. He couldn't understand what was going through her mind right now. He couldn't support her how he needed to, because he honestly had no clue what she was going through. He still had his mom, his dad although estranged, but if he had to guess the pain she felt, it would be similar to the pain he felt when he lost his gran.

For that, he knew she needed something.

"I didn't mean that." She mumbled quietly dropping her hands onto her lap.

He took a breath and pulled out the seat beside her "I know. But don't drive a wedge between us now. I want to help you through whatever it is you feel Delilah."

"That's the problem... I don't feel anything." She replied looking at him.

His heart ached at the circles framing her eyes, how she looked withdrawn and lost behind those grey eyes.

"Grief works in weird ways."

She shook her head "I mean, I don't feel a thing and I should.. Shouldn't I?"

He shrugged.

"She technically saved my life."

"But she also risked it, countless amount of times." Zak added.

"Exactly, so there should be something. I... I didn't go to see Poppy yesterday."

He sat back. "Then where did you go?"

Zak almost tore Vegas to the ground to find her, and when she came home, she mentioned Poppy and went to lay down.

"The graveyard.."

"To see your dad?"

She shook her head and pushed her dirty hair behind her ears "No, I couldn't bare the idea of facing him. So I went and found a grave. Don't know the person, don't know a single thing about them, but I felt something."

He listened as she explained how she felt sorrow, how the gold letters on the black stone choked her up and the small flowers that had been left by someone.

"I felt something for a stranger, more than my own mother... Is it because she killed herself?" She asked him.

Zak swallowed "We don't know if that's what happened..."

"It is. I know it is. She knew she wouldn't go to prison, that was the only way she knew for sure.. Maybe it is that?"

He shifted forward and took hold of her hands gently, the thought that was set on his tongue occurred last night when he woke to find her stood in the garden, near the hot tub, overlooking Vegas.

"Perhaps, and it's just a suggestion... Perhaps it would be a good idea to go and see a counsellor?"

Her hands jerked back "What for?!" She snapped.

"Babe. You're struggling—"

"I'm fine!"

"You're not. Please don't lie to me, even if you can lie to yourself.."

"Grief works in weird ways." She replied using his own words against him. "I don't need a counsellor, and I don't need them."

Pushing up, Delilah left the table and slipped into the garden. Leaving Zak to blow out his cheeks in stress. No matter what he said, he was never in the right...

+++

A blanket fell around Delilah's shoulder and she sat staring at the small lights across the desert. Her fingers rubbed the black key which hung around her neck rhythmically drawing her deeper into her mind.

Don't try to find us.

He's going away for a very long time.

Promise me, you won't make the same mistakes as I did.

He won't wait much longer! Rush me! Now!

Delilah blinked causing her eyes to burn slightly form the constant parting, night had fallen and the burning in her stomach was at an all time high.

Pain..

She could feel that.

Getting up off her knees, she looked down to see the imprints of the small tiles used around the hot tub. The stiffness in her joints and the crack as the air popped from her bones.

The signs of her being there too long...

Looking back at the house, she found a few lights on, and slowly made her way inside.

Gracie lifted her head from the couch upon seeing Delilah enter, but settled it back down with a gently pet.

Looking up to the second floor, Delilah noticed the office door open, and slowly progressed up the stairs to see if Zak was working.

Sure enough, she found him hunched forward, his head kept up by his hand.

Zak had heard the second her foot touched the stairs, not that Delilah made a lot of noise but having lived alone long enough, he knew when something in the house had changed.

"Pain. I feel pain." She said.

He didn't look over to her, he didn't say a word, he just pushed the painkillers out onto the desk and turned his attention back to the laptop.

Delilah lowered her head and moved across the room, picking up the painkillers, she rolled them around in her hand.

"She was in pain. I know addicts get phantom pains, I know their body have withdrawing pains... She had them, but she didn't take them."

Zak kept his eyes on the screen but listened to her, he knew the importance of talking.

"She wouldn't have had time to take some and leave the rest. Maybe she left them because she knew that to end this, to make all the pain stop she would have to kill herself, to be free?"

Zak rolled his jaw, he wanted to say so much but waited.

"I don't know what happened in her life to resort her to alcohol or drugs. But something clearly did and I'm not making excuses up for her either. Because you said, it was a cowards way out." Delilah continued.

Zak listened as she unscrewed the pot and threw back the tablets, using his drink to wash them down.

"I won't turn into her. I have control over this and I have you."

Zak looked up from his screen to see her still wrapped in the blanket he had given her almost two hours ago.

"I can't help you if you push me away.. You were there for me when we went to Reno. Let me be there for you."

Delilah nodded and moved over to him, as Zak sat back, she slipped into the small gap left between his chair and desk.

"I'm sorry." She whispered wrapping her arms his shoulders. Zak sighed deeply and pulled her down onto his lap. "You're all I have, and I'm terrified I'll do something wrong. What if I lose you too?"

His grip tightened. "That's almost impossible, the only way that could happen, is if you sent me away Delilah."

"I promise I won't."

+++

Zak held his phone and he read the screen out loud with a dimmed brightness, his own eyes stung with tiredness and his hand had developed pins and needles in it quiet some time ago. But he continued to read whilst led in bed with Delilah on his chest, because that's what he needed to do.

His other hand played with her hair gently, rubbing her head and sometimes playing with her earlobe, tempting to draw her into a deeper sleep every time.

He felt some relief when he cocked his head slightly to find Delilah sound asleep, her ear pressed over his heart and her hand on his chest, as if she was listening to his heart and feeling his chest rise and fall with breaths.

Yawning quietly, he pulled off his glasses and set them onto the bedside table. Before turning his phone off completely, not wanting it to be the reason either of them woke throughout the night.

But before he could shut off the light, he remembered that he hadn't brushed his teeth and begrudgingly slipped Delilah off his chest and went into the bathroom.

He took his time, flossing, cleaning his teeth and finally washing his face. But when he slowly appeared from the bathroom, he jumped in surprise to see Delilah stood in the middle of the bedroom, rubbing her eye and swaying slightly from sleep. A smile took hold of his face, seeing her look so childlike.

"What are you doing out of bed?" He asked quietly making his way to her in the dark.

She moved forward slowly until her face slotted into the nook of his neck. "I woke and you weren't there." She mumbled.

"Oh. Well I'm here now."

He suppressed his chuckle when she lifted her leg up and held onto his shoulders. Knowing what she wanted, he picked her up with ease and let her snuggle into him as he took her back to bed.

Getting in, they both shuffled around until Delilah was back under his arm and her head was back over his heart.

"Nu-night."

"Goodnight Sweetie." He whispered back and waited until she fell back to sleep on him.

Once he knew that she was settled and felt safe, he finally closed his eyes letting himself have hope that things could only go up from here.

Happy Friday!

Sorry it's taken so long, I'm usually a first thing in the morning uploader, but things have been busy & I need some peace whilst writing.

Also, I've entered the Wattys! This year has a section for Fanfiction, & whilst I know I won't win, because I've read some amazing fanfics, taking part is fun. & it bumps my reads.

What? Sue me.

I'm thinking about expanding my writing to fiction, I know I've barked up this tree before, but I feel I have a fair amount of experience with writing now. Question is, would anyone be interested? 😅

Hope you're all having an awesome Friday! Have a happy weekend!!