I woke up on my front, the sheet was bunched down on my hip as I led beside Zak. His fingertips had woken me up from my sleep, from the way they drew up and down my spine gently and how his thumb soothed over the scars that were only just visible now.

"Welcome back." He spoke quietly making me smile. "So, here's an interesting fact I didn't know about you... You snore."

I pouted and gave a grumble causing him to laugh softly and lay on his back, putting a folded arm behind his head.

"It's a cute snore." He added making me narrow my eyes at him.

"Feel free to stop talking. The charm had gone."

He winked and reached out, stroking his knuckles over my back gently. "I'm only playing. I had to keep checking that you were breathing. You don't make a sound for the first hour and I kept panicking. I debated waking you up about 23 different times."

I giggled.

"There's that sound I live for... Listen." He shifted closer "You had another nightmare.."

"I did?"

"Was it about your mom?"

I shrugged "I honestly don't remember a thing about it."

He watched my face carefully before nodding and smiling bringing the tense atmosphere to an end.

I pulled myself over to his side and pushed my head against his chest. I listened to his heart for a few seconds before looking up at him.

"Why did you stay? What made you change your mind?" He asked picking up a piece of my hair between his fingers.

"Honestly?"

He hummed.

"Gracie made me see something..." I swallowed the thickening feeling. "She made me realise that this past week, I've been the happiest I have in a very long time. She made me realise that she wanted to be loved and cared for too. For a second I thought the look was familiar because I saw it in myself and I do. But I also see it in you and it made me think that perhaps you are a little damaged like me..."

Zak listened and thought about it. "You don't know a lot about me. Do you? I haven't told you much."

"If anything.. And that's why I came back and began packing a bag. Because I assume you had the perfect suburban upbringing with a white picket fence."

He dropped the piece of hair and tucked it behind my ear. "No, I had dreams of that too."

I sighed gently "You don't need to tell me anymore."

"But I want to." He admits looking a little torn still.

"How about tell me in good time? When the time is right?" I suggest to which he agrees, his face transforms from thoughtful to a wicked smirk.

"What are you thinking about? With that filthy smile." I laughed.

"I'll give you a guess." He wiggles his brows making me shake my head.

"Oh no, no, no. You seen what happened after the first time."

His hands pulled me up onto his body until I was straddling his hips and he was able to look up at me. "Well we just have to build up your stamina."

He growled before sitting up and tackling us over in the bed making me giggle.

+++

This time, I didn't fall asleep after, but Zak did. Leaving me to thread my fingers through his hair as he slept on my chest and between my legs. It was a compromising position for us both, but he seemed content and I was blissfully happy.

Even with his sleeping form, he was handsome. The rested look on his face made me warm inside but I also recognised in that moment, that whilst awake he looked stressed and conflicted. Like he was fighting an invisible waging war.

One I wanted to know about...

I watched his jaw move as if he was chewing before he settled again, his nose rubbing against my stomach before a hefty sigh left his system.

My eyes watered suddenly and the overwhelming urge to protect him as much as he promised to protect me came in strong.

But with that thought, my mom came into my mind and how different she looked...

Long gone was the haunting look on her face, the sunken cheeks or the hazy eyes. Her dirty clothes, greasy hair and spotty skin.

Instead she has been replaced with well kept hair, a smile, clear skin although I suspect make up hid some scars, clean clothes and bright eyes.

I thought I was alone. That she had died at the hands of a man who made me sick. But she hadn't. She was alive, she was clean and not just in the hygiene sense.

Do I give her another chance? Let her explain?

No. What good would come of it?

Maybe she had her reasons? She always protected you, even if it was done in the wrong way..

She didn't protect me when he beat me with that belt. She didn't help me when I was crumpled up on the floor with a shallow breath convinced it was dying. She didn't nurse the infected wound like a real mother would.

She was different back then. Her priorities were all wrong! Just give her a call...

And it was only when Zak woke and kissed my forehead before stumbling his tired ass (a very nice ass, I'd like to add) to the bathroom. That I pulled out the piece of paper I had kept and sent her a text. I moved onto my stomach to relieve the pressure on my spine from being stuck in the same position.

- You have one chance to explain. Delilah.

It was only when the text was sent that I felt regret sink in.

Zak would be disappointed, I know he would be mad too, but how do I explain that there was a chance I could have a connection with my mom. That I had one family member still here. That I wasn't alone or an orphan. I had a mom and she came and found me? That despite all her faults and she had many , that I still had someone here for me that was a blood relation?

Blood shouldn't mean shit. I know it shouldn't but there was something's I wanted to ask which only she could answer...

My phone vibrated.

- Please meet me tomorrow. Red Creek Café at 1pm. Mom x

I scoffed, she had no right to call herself my mom.

Locking my phone, I dropped it on the bed ready to get up when hands ran up my legs, the smell of cologne and warmth wrapped around my body as teeth sank into my shoulder.

I grinned wickedly as he pushed my hair aside.

"Just where do you think you're going?" He asked.

"Getting up. We cannot stay here all day."

"Stay here all day? Delilah that sounds like a perfect idea."

I cocked my head aside and looked at him. "Zak Bagans, are you after me just for sex?"

His smile fell "No. no why would you think–"

I snorted a laugh.

"You're fucking with me."

I nodded and rolled over to look up at him. "I couldn't resist..."

"As I can't resist you at the moment. But just to make it clear that I'm a little more invested than spending the afternoon in bed. Let's get up and showered."

"Okay. Then what?" I question.

"Then I take you to dinner." He finalises.

"Nah, I don't want to go for some fancy pants dinner. I want you to cook. For me."

"As you wish, my lady." He replies in a British accent making me giggle.

"You're an idiot."

With a peck on my nose, he draws away and pulls me up off the bed. "Let's go shower. And FYI, I have a dress code for dinner."

"And that is?"

"Nude."

I tweaked a brow. "Let's hope you don't flambeau anything other than the food. Because I'd be awfully disappointed if the kitchen gets shut down."

He shrugs "I'll always have something to eat."

Now I knew to read between the lines with that one and felt the heat creep up my neck. If he was trying to seduce me again? He was doing a great job. So I scarpered to the bathroom. Fast.

+++

My bare feet touched the wet concrete as I crept around the dark basement. My clothes had been taken from my body leaving me only in underwear as I stuck to the shadows and tried to work out where I was.

The smell of rotting tainted the air, making me pinch my nose to stop the heaving that promised to begin.

I was lost.

Maybe even taken?

And I was alone... I think.

Using the wall as my guide, I slid along some more until I touched a cord. Taking hold of it, I tugged t down hard and caused light to flood the room.

My eyes clamped shut at the intrusion when I thought I was okay, I opened them again.

Only to find myself in hell.

The wet surface on the floor wasn't water as I had previously presumed, but in fact was blood. It coated the floor like a carpet and had began to spill up my body.

Panicking, I stumbled back causing a loud clinking and clanging to fill the room.

Spinning on my feet, I turned to find chains, ropes and meat hooks.

Reaching out to silence them, I saw my hands....

My skin was red. Seriously red.

Blood red.

This was blood.

Looking up from my hands, the chains had fallen aside and exposed a room, full of bodies, hanging from hooks and being bled out like a pig with it's throat cut.

Only these were people. People I knew. Seeing one, I ran to it and grasped the wound across his throat.

"No. No. No!" I cried trying to stem the bleeding.

But it flooded through my fingertips, I couldn't stop it.

"No! Please! Please!" I sobbed grabbing at Zak's face. He was dead.

He was gone.

I felt my heart crumble in my chest and I was about to move away to accept whatever fate awaited me. When his eyes sprang apart.

"DELILAHH!!"

I screamed.

--

I woke up in the dark screaming, a cold sweat drenched my body and Zak was knelt in front of me holding my face.

"It's okay! It's okay."

"Zak." I spoke as tears began to fall.

"It's okay darling. I'm here. I'm right here." He spoke pulling me into his chest as I cried.

It took a while to bring me down, a while for me to believe that what I just dreamt was over and that I hadn't had a false waking.

"Come lay down." He soothed pulling me down in the bed with him.

"Sorry." I croaked.

"Don't ever apologise, it's nothing you can control baby. But I'm here okay? I'll keep a watch. I'll make sure those sleep demons stay away. Alright?"

I nodded and held onto his side tightly.

But sleep never returned and I kept still and quiet until I knew he had fallen back to sleep himself.

Letting out a breath, I rubbed my face and felt ridiculous for the crying episode. They themselves didn't happen often, the nightmares? Well they were always an on going battle. Usually happen when there has been a trigger. But what trigger?

I roll over and feel Zak shift to accommodate my move, by spooning me. It's once he has settled that my eyes land on my phone.

That text was your trigger Delilah. You sent that bloody message!

+++

The morning went reasonably fast and when Zak announced he was going to the museum, I made up any excuse to stay home.

He smiled softly and crossed the kitchen pressing a kiss on my forehead. "Take a nap or a nice relaxing bath. I won't be long. Then we can chill out together."

I nodded back up to him and smiled "I'll see you soon."

"That you will."

I kept my smile on my face, despite the niggling guilt that bit my soul.

Red Creek Café wasn't far from the museum, which meant if Zak took a detour, there was a chance he would find me, sat with my estranged mother, listening to her explanation.

I wondered if I didn't tell him because I knew he'd disapprove, he would tell me to think about what I was doing, what pain the woman had caused me.

And he would be right to say all that. But I still wanted to know her reasons behind not defending me, as her child. As her only daughter. I wanted to know and no sob story from her was going to sway me from getting what I wanted.

I arrived early, and parked my car close by but not in total view of the Café, I could see them, but they couldn't see me. Which meant I would see who dropped my mom off and if she was still with that filth bag.

Rubbing my fingers over my lips, I watched the doors and any car that slowed down by the place.

My mind perked up when a cab slowed and my mother got out. Fixing her dress, she tugged on the blazer she wore and walked into the Café.  She was early...

But determined to make her sweat, I waited until it was almost 1pm before getting out the car and going into the trunk.

Popping it open, I lifted the blanket I had placed in there to look at the baseball bat.

I didn't know why I picked it up, why I placed it in my trunk or why Zak even owned one? But I figured if Randy wanted to show his face, I would be more than happy to welcome him... With one hell of a swing.

I had prepared myself for a war, not a coffee.

Closing it up, I locked the car and marched over to the Café before slipping through the door to find my mother sat at a table in the middle of the room, nursing a glass of water sat in front of her.

Her eyes locked with mine and she slowly rose to her feet. "You came."

"I want answers."

She nodded and gestured to the seat opposite her, I took it and folded my fingers together. "You look so well, that man from yesterday? Was he your boyfriend?"

I held back my scoff.

That was her opener?

Was Zak my boyfriend? Not, how are you? I'm sorry, thank you for coming, I'll answer any questions you may have. No, it was about Zak.

"Zak is my colleague." - Because why should she know anything when it comes to my life. The less she knows the better.

"Lovely." She smiles.

"Why are you here? Why did you come to the museum? Is it because you need money? You don't have to ask.." I frown.

"No. I don't need money sweetheart. I came to the museum, because I want to build bridges, I maybe too late but that doesn't mean I don't want to try." She explained.

I gave her a blank expression and refused to order a coffee when a waitress came over. But I slipped her $20 bucks and told her we were fine for the rest of our stay here.

"Are you still with Randy?"

Her eyes widened "Goodness no! How could I be after everything he put you through? Put us both through and I was too off my face to protect and care for you. No, I left him a long time ago. Which is why I am clean. I walked out and vowed to change my life. Promising to contact you, once I had my life together."

"And do you?" I question.

She nods "I have a one bed apartment, it's not much but it's home. I have a job in a clothing store on the strip, it's not much either and the wage isn't anything to shout about. But being clean is."

I lift my brows and drop them. "I guess so."

"And you? What do you do?" She questions.

"I work on a show. Haven't been involved there for too long but I have a sense things can only get better whilst I'm there." I reply thinking of Zak and just how much things are going to improve.

"That's great darling."

From my lack of reply, she knew I wasn't looking for her approval or praise. She knew the real reason I was here, she knew she couldn't avoid any of it.

"I was a different person back then. After your father.. My whole world caved in. I wanted to blot out the pain. To make it stop, and I did. But at the price of you.. I was a terrible mother, simply awful. I-" She paused and looked at my neck. Her brows pulled together and I instinctively touched at my neck, feeling the chain and key.

"That's your father's."

"I know. That's why I have it."

"How did you get that?" She asks.

"Gran gave it to me."

"She had no right!" She spat before closing her eyes.

"She had no right? Are you fucking kidding me? She raised me up! She protected me, gave me somewhere to live and looked after me whilst you shoved shit up your nose! I was that traumatised that she took me home. Back to England."

"That's not your home." She sniped.

My eyes burned "Yes it is. Home is where I felt safe, happy and loved. I never felt at home with you. The reason I am the way I am today is because Gran gave me the tools to work with. She didn't put me in a cupboard! She didn't make me go through trash bags to find food! She didn't hide me away so she could push a line up her nose and then fuck some brute relentlessly. I seen it. I used to see it all. It makes me sick..." I snarled.

"You can't blame me for that now. I- I never meant for all this to happen. I've changed."

"No you haven't. I shouldn't have came here." I rose from the seat and left the Café ignoring her pleas to come back.

Rushing to the car, I unlocked it and slid down in the seat watching her as she came out the café looking up and down the sidewalk.

She had no right..

I gripped the chain tightly and pressed it to my lips before starting the car up and heading away.

Putting distance between me and the woman I was suppose to call mom.