His name, 'Mr. Capricorn:' the tenth astrological sign in the zodiac, symbolized by a horned mer-goat. While that was definitely not a coincidence, I felt like it didn't really provide any new information, so I moved on.

'It's what you see, not what you feel'

This had come up repeatedly. It seemed to me like a rather obvious appeal to forgo listening to my conscience and blindly accept everything at face value. But while I was in jail, I had gained a greater insight from the saying. It highlighted how, despite sometimes seeming to work together, Capricorn and Gabriel were in opposition to each other. Gabriel had said virtually the reverse. Could Gabriel actually be an angel? Not wanting to get distracted, I mentally shelved the thought.

If Capricorn wanted me to carry on in a shallow manner, something else he'd quoted seemed to contradict that- John 7:24. I couldn't remember the exact words, but I'd looked it up while I was in jail; 'Judge not according to appearance, but judge righteous judgment.' Why he would say both things in the patronizing–

Abruptly I realized it made more sense than I'd thought. Of course Capricorn would clash with the Bible! But still, why had he said it? I shook my head. Maybe there was more to it, but I still didn't see it.

'True colors will always fade in the right light'

I'd never really thought much about that, it just seemed a rather bald condemnation of my ability to stay true to myself in the face of temptation and under strain. But a sudden burst of inspiration had me grabbing my laptop and googling it. Turns out it was a lyric from a band called Bad Omens... a band signed to Akkadian Records. What the fuck? Just how deep into this shit was Elias? I was surprised to find my next note seemed to flow directly from this one.

'Maybe Elias and Lily have known each other longer than you think'

If Elias knew Lily, and Capricorn knew Elias... was Lily actually Capricorn, just as he'd claimed at Hellfest? Something about that didn't sound quite right. I felt a different connection, one less obvious, trying to form in the back of my mind. Rather than try and force it, I decided to let it come naturally, and tucked away the possible link between the three of them for later.

As I paged through my journal, it was hard to figure out what might have real significance and what was just Capricorn being ostentatious. For example, he'd once said, 'You want to be the future, you gotta pay your dues. More inspiration to sing the fucking blues.' A few days ago, another inmate had told me that was just a bastardized version of a Ringo Starr song.

I started feeling a little hopeless- I was in over my head. I set my journal down and stared at the floor. How could I be sure that Capricorn wasn't just some psychotic, rich weirdo that liked playing pranks on desperate Hollywood hopefuls? I'd always been an atheist; this shit was totally nuts! My heart started to sink and I felt myself giving up, wanting to ignore my desire for the truth and just accept my lot...

It was thinking of Gretchen that gave me the will to carry on. When she smiled at me, it was so pure- her whole face lit up and her rich brown eyes shone. With the vision of her firmly in my mind, I knew that I wasn't just imagining things- this was real. It was all real, and it was happening to me, my friends, and my family. This wasn't a series of coincidences- it was some sort of war between good and evil, with us as the pawns. I couldn't back down. I wouldn't. I turned the page and kept working.

'Religion separates humanity, but it's music that brings us all together'

I remembered that moment with unexpected clarity. It'd been right before I overdosed at the Rainbow. I was pretty sure that Capricorn had said it to try and draw me back in, that he'd sensed that his hold on me was slipping. Even through the haze of addiction I'd been able to point out to him that he himself was a product of religion.

This was perhaps the only thing he'd said to me that rang true. Religion did divide us, drove humanity to incomparable levels of violence in its name. If Capricorn was what religion had to offer me, than surely turning my back on it, all of it, was the right thing to do.

Curious, I googled what he had said. Though I didn't find an exact match, I found a similar sentiment voiced by Sean Combs, of all people. With a little more research, it appeared that he wasn't signed to Akkadian Records, but it wasn't clear to me where he was signed. With all the names Capricorn had dropped when making his pitch, I wouldn't be surprised if Puff Daddy was part of this whole thing as well.

The feeling that I was making progress that I'd failed to make in jail spurred me on. I licked my lips and let my eyes skim over my nonsensical rants, skipping the song lyrics I'd been working on entirely.

Next was just a fragment: 'stuck waiting in this vessel???'

I faltered, unsure what to make of that. It seemed important. I sighed, frustrated. Taking a moment to focus on the mental image of Gretchen smiling, I was suddenly able to recall the entire interaction. Capricorn had been trying to get our attention outside the Whisky, when we were trying to pre-sell the tickets to our doomed gig. Irritated with being blown off, he'd said, 'Do you know how long I've been stuck here in this vessel, waiting for you four dicks to show up?'

Wait... four? Oh, right- Lily hadn't been there, just as she'd been absent so many times. I was still trying to figure out if that was actually significant or not. I returned my attention to what Capricorn had said.

I snorted. Poor Satan, indeed! Whoever the original owner of that body had been before Capricorn took over, I had snuffed out any chance he'd had left at life. Thinking of Hellfest, I sighed.

After getting the rest of our tour canceled and overdosing, I'd gone to rehab, per Elias' request. I'd done it more for Gretchen and Mom than to headline Hellfest, but Elias hadn't cared about that distinction. The fact that I'd been clear-headed for the first time in months made what had happened at the festival even weirder. As the memory washed over me, I tried to see things anew, from an analytical perspective, instead of getting carried away by my anger.

What were the facts? I had stayed strong in my resolve not to take part in Capricorn's 'onstage ritual.' Well, until the point where he'd played me like a fiddle. He'd been there with my mother; I'd barely managed to keep my rage under control. Then he'd said that he was Lily, and the fact that I hadn't been able to prove that wasn't true had driven me insane. When he'd come towards me with a gun, I'd grabbed it. Though I'd first pointed it at my own head, an image of Gretchen had flashed through my mind, and I'd turned and shot Capricorn instead. I'd immediately been taken into custody, so I hadn't seen the crowd rioting, I'd only heard about it later. After my mental breakdown in jail, I'd just been let out on bail. And here I was, sitting in the guest bedroom Mom had set aside for me, in the dead of night.

Capricorn had tried to get me to commit to the 'ritual' at Hellfest beforehand. Just as with the 'sacrificial' ritual, I hadn't intentionally followed through, but in the end the results had been the same. Damien had still died. I'd still shot Capricorn. What did that mean? What the fuck did all of it mean?

I shook my head, frustrated. I was still missing something major. Maybe what had happened at Hellfest held more answers for me, but they weren't coming to me right now.

'DARK ENERGY'

The very last thing, it was scrawled across two pages, with the first law of thermodynamics written hastily underneath. I winced, remembering how I'd raved at the reporter that had interviewed me in jail.

Capricorn was unquestionably dark energy, and energy is indestructible. I'd been paying attention in physics on the day they'd gone over the conservation of energy: energy can neither be created nor destroyed- only transferred or changed from one form into another. Given the way my new lawyer had rapped on the table- Capricorn's signature four knocks- I had no doubt what 'form' he'd taken.

Though I was currently out on bail, I was sure that I'd be let off, given my hotshot lawyer. Though everyone had seen me put a bullet in Capricorn, they'd also seen him come at me with the gun first. I'd been hesitant to go with Damien's father as representation, but Gretchen had encouraged me, and I'd listened. I could switch lawyers later.

I blinked heavily and realized I was having trouble concentrating. But I wasn't going to give up. Even though I was tired, I still had that feeling in the back of my head, like I was about to discover something important but I just hadn't put my finger on it yet.

I stood up and stretched before walking as quietly as I could down to the kitchen. I started a pot of coffee brewing before grabbing my cigarettes and lighter out of my jacket and heading to the back porch.

As I smoked, I thought about Gretchen. That she'd forgiven me was everything! She was unquestionably the love of my life, she always had been. We'd looked it up together- it took about 3 months after exposure to get reliable test results for most of the things I could've picked up while I was using and screwing anything with a pair of tits. Gretchen was so pure and innocent; I would never risk her health. But in 3 months, assuming I tested negative, I could be intimate with her again! I couldn't wait! Until then, we'd have to be satisfied with using our hands. I smirked to myself, my dick twitching in interest. Easy buddy- there will be time for that later.

Feeling clear-headed, I stubbed out my cigaretteand went back inside. After drinking a cup of coffee and daydreaming more aboutGretchen, I poured myself another and took it back to the guestroom with me soI could get back to work. I picked my red notebook up again and flipped to thenext section.