Life was hard, especially after you found yourself in the Sixth Heaven, surrounded by pits of fire and incarnated forms of humans' suppressed dark thoughts who are supposed to be your underlings.

Samael narrowed his eyes as he studied the creatures that were in rows standing before him with their heads bent. "You are?"

The only reply he got was a burp of lava.

"You, in the first row, the one with three heads."

The creature lifted its heads. A small gasp escaped its mouths. It squared its shoulders.

"What are you called?"

"Asmodeus is my name."

"No, no. What I want to know is what you are all called." Samael waved at them.

The creatures exchanged glances among themselves, and whenever they glanced in his direction, Samael could hear gasps, something he was already used to since this was how all beings reacted at the sight of his beauty.

"The Second Heaven has angels, and this place has..." He waved at them again. He furrowed his forehead, thinking. "I guess we'll have to figure that out. And since we are already at it, we need to figure out a name for this place, too." The place he was right now was known as the Sixth Heaven, and he also got authority over the Seventh Heaven, but he wanted something more original and something that would distinguish it from the first three heavens where God and angels lived. "Any suggestions?"

A murmur rose as the creatures whispered to each other.

"Think about it and let me know," Samael said, then directed his attention to the three-heads. "You, with three heads, guide me to my dwelling."

"This way, my lord." The three-heads gave him a small bow before it walked out of the row and led him towards the south wall. They climbed up the narrow zigzag path. The creature stopped before one of the entrances into the caves carved out of the rock that were alongside the path. It gave Samael a small bow again before it gestured at the entrance. "It's the largest cave we have, my lord."

Samael nodded in acknowledgement and entered the cave. Gravel covered some of the uneven ground and condensation layered the far end of the wall. It was damp and hot. And it smelled. He heard the creature's steps as it walked away.

He slumped to his knees, scowling at the stones, and the spiky rock digging into his shins. He clapped his palms together. "Dear..." He deeply inhaled and exhaled, twice, which sounded like YHWH before he continued, "In the First Heaven." A brief pause. "This is unacceptable!"

Nothing happened.

"YHWH, this is unacceptable!"

A small golden light appeared in the cave's corner. It grew bigger until it reached the size of a human, filling the whole cave with blinding light.

Samael blinked until his eyes adjusted to the light and stood. "Completely unacceptable."

God tilted her head. "I'm certain you'll manage."

"I refuse."

"Samael, it was you who wanted to leave the Second Heaven. You had such a tantrum the Heaven's army needed to intervene."

"I just got a little too upset, that's all."

God gave him a look.

"Ending up in the Sixth Heaven was never part of my plan," Samael complained. "I was supposed to be free to roam around and to explore the last three heavens, not become the leader of the lowest two heavens and still be under your command."

"Did you really believe that by disappointing and rebelling against me, you would be free of your responsibilities?" She shook her head. "You should have known better. These dimensions are my creations and as long as you are part of them, you're under my authority."

"Yes, yes, the creations are you and you're the creations. Here, you're life itself." The reason she gave herself the name of the sounds that the living things produced while breathing. "I'm very well aware of that."

"You're free to leave my creations, though, any time you want."

"You. You..." Samael pointed his finger at her. "By creating the heavens, you used all the spark. I was lucky I even came to be. And Lucifer, she would have never come to be, if you didn't get rid of your beard, releasing into the universe enough spark for Lucifer to be born." He chuckled to himself. "Technically, Lucifer was born from the beard you discarded." No wonder she was so attached to God. "She should be called the Beard-leftover, not the Light-bringer."

A small smile graced her face. Her hand landed on Samael's shoulder and squeezed it. "The lower two heavens are not as restrictive as the first three heavens. You can set your own rules."

"As long as they don't infringe on your creations' principles."

"Of course."

"But it's damp and hot. And it smells." Samael wrinkled his nose.

"You can change that. You have subordinates."

"They don't look too capable."

"I'm certain you can train them and change that," God said.

"You're trying to manipulate me by flattering me." Something that he liked to do himself.

"You can play here the way you couldn't in the Second Heaven. You can whine and be as childish and lazy as you want."

Samael's chin jutted out. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"There will be no Thrones, Cherubs, or other Seraphim to judge you."

Samael made a pout. "I'm one of the Trinity, I was born from the same spark as you, you didn't create me. Yet, they have the nerve to judge me and look down on me, like they are something more than me just because I don't act as stiff as a rod and as boring as them."

"You're now the leader of the last two heavens to do as you please and they are only guardians of the First Heaven and restricted by the Second Heaven's rules."

"That's right. I'm the leader and they are only over-glorified, scary-looking guardians of your throne." Samael crossed his arms, nodding, then he froze and frowned. "No, wait. You tricked me."

God smiled. "I didn't trick you."

"Just used my own technique on me."

"Not exactly," God said. "You'll do well."

"I know I will. I'm good at everything that I do. That doesn't mean I'm interested in doing this. You know how tired I am. I deserve a break. A long-lasting break."

"I know. I know." God patted his shoulder. "I'm certain you'll be able to arrange things to your advantage here," she said before a light burst outwards and she disappeared.

"I'm not satisfied. I'm not satisfied at all!" To show his displeasure, Samael stomped his feet. "This is unacceptable." He cast a glance around the cave. "This won't do at all."

But there seemed no way out. Except if he was willing to leave God's creations, and there was nothing out there. Just nothingness. Sometimes, God could be so cruel.

Fine. Fine! He'd just make this work. First thing he needed to do was to change his living arrangement. He walked out of the cave. He noticed a group of incarnated thoughts a distance away, whispering among themselves. "Hey, you."

The incarnated forms glanced at him. At the sight of him, they all gasped. They lowered themselves to their knees.

"Get up." Samael walked to them, waving his hand for them to rise. "There's no need to kneel. A small bow is fine, more than welcome, actually, it's required, but kneeling is a bit too much. Tell the others."

"Yes, my lord," they said in unison and stood.

"Who is the smartest one among you?"

They looked at each other.

"Well?"

They pointed randomly at each other, then changed the direction of their fingers, the tip of a wing, and paws, until all but one were pointing at the human-looking creature with ram's horns growing from his forehead, bat wings, and long, curved talons

Samael gave the creature a quick appraisal. Nodding in satisfaction, he pointed up and down at him, the fabric of his long sleeves flowing with the motion. "I like how you look. The horns are too large though, the claws too excessive, and your face is too wrinkled and old-looking. And you're naked, you really must do something about it. But other than that, you are a perfect example of how my employees should look. What's your name?"

"Beelzebub."

"Bellbubble?"

"Beelzebub," the creature repeated.

"I'll call you Beel." Samael stepped to the creature. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pushed him towards his cave. "I need a helper, an assistant. You know, like a Seraph. Just like that. Well, actually more. Those things are mostly really of no use and are just decoration. Their noses are just too high in the air for them to be useful."

"It's an honour, my lord." They reached Samael's cave.

"Yes, I imagine it is." Samael glanced at him. "Don't look so frightened. I'm quite nice. Most of the time, anyway." He pushed him into the cave and waved at the walls. "As you see, this is completely unacceptable."

Beelzebub blinked first at the walls and then at him.

"It's damp, and it smells." Samael wrinkled his face in disgust. "And it's so uncomfortable looking. I can't live like that."

Beelzebub blinked at him again.

"So, gather a group, and clean this up, please. I want all the sand to be gone, the walls to be smooth and the ground to be level."

The creature blinked at him again.

"I want all the sand to be gone, the walls to be smooth and the ground to be level," Samael repeated as he leaned over Beelzebub. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, my lord." What looked like a confused expression layered Beelzebub's face.

Samael sighed. "Just gather the group first. Pick out the strong-looking ones with hands or hoofs."

Beelzebub nodded and rushed out of the cave. He returned later with a group of thirty. Samael gave them all more detailed instructions and then, in a bubble created by a small miracle that protected him from all the noise, debris, and dust, he watched them as they went to work. He had to intervene a few times, but otherwise Beelzebub, once he got the hang of it, demonstrated himself as a good delegate. So, hours later, when they were finishing, he patted Beelzebub on his shoulder. "You did well. You did quite well. But you could do better. There's always space for improvement, especially since I expect great things from you."

The creature nodded, looking as if he didn't know if he had just been praised or criticised.

Samael studied the space that didn't look like a cave anymore. It even had a small pool on a carved-out shelf. It was like night and day compared to how the cave looked before. There was still dust everywhere and debris covered the ground. The ground wasn't as smooth as pebbles in the river were, nor were the walls, but it was close enough. And he even had a small platform at the end of the cave. All he needed now was a small miracle to clean the space, some torches to light the cave, and accessories and fluffy things. He didn't sleep, but he needed to meditate, and he did like to lounge, and this heaven didn't seem to have any comfortable soft looking objects like the Second and Fifth Heaven did. Something must be done about this.

He thought about it. Was there any way he could grow grass in this place? Or a tree. Not likely. Not now, at least. Not in large quantities. But he could get the second-best thing. He could get some of those fluffy things.

He sent Beelzebub to bring him leaves, straw, feathers, fur skin, and cloths.

Beel returned to his cave with creatures with branches with leaves, feathers, and fur instead of skin.

At the sight of them at the entrance of his cave, Samael pointed at them as he glared at Beelzebub. "What is this?"

"Leaves, fur, and feathers," Beelzebub stammered out. "You requested them."

"Not like that. Not in..." Samael sighed. "It's not as if I can skin them, can I?"

"I don't mind it," one of the creatures said. "It will grow back."

Samael looked at the creature with feathers. Could he, really? No. No. Of course not. What was he thinking? He shook his head, not knowing if he was shaking it at them or himself. "It's not right," he explained. "It's wrong to take it by harming you, even if you're willing. Not by harming yourself, but by... Yes, that's a good idea." He turned his attention to Beelzebub. "Tell everybody with leaves to gather all the leaves they shed and bring them to me. The same with the feathers. As for the fur..." He glanced at the creature with fur. He studied it for a moment. The humans in the Fifth Heaven got their fur by killing animals or by finding already dead ones. "Have any of the creatures here died?"

"No, my lord," Beelzebub said. "But I can make it happen."

"No. No! Never do anything like that. It's forbidden. We are not in the Fifth Heaven, where the strong eat the weak. Let's make this a rule one. You're not to hurt others. Tell others."

"Yes, my lord," all the four incarnated thoughts said.

"I guess I'll just have to do without it, then. Or go to the Fifth Heaven." But could he even get there? He probably could. It was just a matter of using his energy to get there, but right now, he was tired, and gathering things was never his thing. He glanced at the creatures that were still by the entrance of his cave. "Why are you still here?"

"You haven't dismissed us, my lord," Beelzebub said.

"Yes, true. I don't need you three." Samael waved at the three with fur, feathers, and branches before he focused on Beelzebub. "Beel, is there anybody who can enter the Fifth Heaven?"

"I don't know, my lord."

"Well, go and find out," Samael said and as Beelzebub turned and flashed his ass at him, Samael shielded his eyes from the offending sight and added, "And do something about that nudity of yours, please. Just use some cloth or something." It was a good thing he, as a being created by a spark, didn't have to rely on his incompetent subordinates for his garments, but they were part of his energy, and he could change them by thought. Though, as beings made of energy, demons and angels should in theory be able to do the same. And, since Seraphim, Thrones, and Cherubs could change their shape, their clothes were probably materialised by thought, too. He could also get knowledge by just thinking about certain things or matters, which was part of God's divinity to which he still had access to despite his exile. Divinity was also why his skin glowed and the light from it dispersed the surrounding darkness.

A while later, Beelzebub appeared with a creature named Gaap. According to him, he could open portals between the last three heavens. Of course, Samael had no intention of travelling to the Fifth Heaven alone. He took Beelzebub and Gaap with him.

Which was such a good idea, he praised himself as he stood in the middle of the tall grass by a forest, pointing at things for Beelzebub and Gaap to grab for him. They found straw, dry leaves, and grass galore. They even found some cloth that he gifted Beelzebub with. He could take it for himself, but it was small, and probably dirty and smelly since they, actually, it was only Beelzebub, tore it off the human that had crossed their paths and fainted at the sight of Beelzebub and Gaap. And just before they left, he spotted an apple tree sapling, which he took to the Sixth Heaven with him. All in all, it was a very nice and productive trip.

After Samael returned to his cave and the booty from the Fifth Heaven was set to his preferences, he with his arms akimbo, looked around, quite pleased with himself. He said to himself, "I did quite well, despite the pitiful offering I have at my disposal. Maybe being the leader of the Sixth and Seventh Heaven won't be that bad."

And that is how, on his first day of exile from the Second Heaven, Samael started to work on making himself comfortable in the hot, dark abyss of the Sixth Heaven.