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Chapter 31 Lust or Love?

She Is a Mess

but she is a masterpiece.

~ L.Z.

ANASTASIA'S P.O.V.

*Flashback to A few days ago*

"Anastasia is that you?", Jackson called out.


Without glancing back, I began to trek forward to close the distance to the bar. I took a deep breath scanning my surroundings, I was still on alert or rather my muscles were all tensed up at the recent encounter. Whoever that was or whatever that was one thing was certain it was not friendly.



As I reached the bar, Jackson immediately greeted me with his wonderful questions, "Where the hell have you been?", he yelled whilst raising his arms up in an exasperated manner. Before I could answer, he scanned my body. Scrutinising every inch of my current state with his sharp eyes.


He let out a whistle before speaking up again, "never mind that, I'll get my answers from you afterwards for now go clean up and get dressed you look like trash".


I bit my tongue to stop myself from snapping back at him, I figured it wouldn't do me good to insult the man who's offering judgement free shelter or at least some shelter to a Rogue. Instead , I nodded while swallowing my blood's metallic taste to ensure my betraying tongue was not free.



I walked past Jackson, following the familiar path to the back entrance of the bar, several bins were scattered against the brick walls leaving an unbearable stench in its wake.



I quickly pushed the emergency door and stepped inside, a small smile played on my lips, as I finally made it back here alive, I walked further into the open space relinquishing the quiet atmosphere of the bar. It was yet to be nightfall, a time where wolves filled the bar and drowned their drinks.



I sighed, what I really needed right now was some rest and a nice hot shower to soothe my bunch up muscles. I was beyond exhausted the bane kept Roxy away but left my body feeling weak and miserable. Each and every limb ached while my brain was a cloudy mess and my heart brutally stretched and scarred from the mate bond.



My mind wandered to a certain Alpha. The brooding Alpha, a merciless man who had so many flaws and mysterious moments. Yet I was drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. It was becoming more and more difficult to resist the bond in is presence.


My thoughts were interrupted as a certain she-wolf tapped her feet in front of me impatiently. I looked up, noticing the newbie whose name I'd already forgotten, her arms crossed and face adorned with a wild smirk.


I narrowed my eyes, as I looked at the outfit, she was wearing a black lace bralette with black leather pants accompanied by a pair of Jimmy Chu's.


Call me a fashion freak but I loved the clothes Jackson had gotten me. He'd continue to purchase them assuming I revolted in the style of the outfits though I was completely in love with it. But in reality, the clothes were my only prized possessions, I owned nothing else so I truly valued and loved them to all ends.


I fisted my palms at my side as I recalled the words, I'd hoped was not true after all privacy was a luxury for Rogues.


Clearing my throat as best as I could, I took a step closer to the newbie and snarled, "you're wearing my clothes".


She flicked her hair in response, while her smirk became a sinister grin. She waved me off with her hand, as though it were not a big deal.



I took in a deep breath. She chose the wrong moment for this.


I took another step forward, now inches away from her face, I quickly stretched out my arm and grabbed a fistful of her delicate hair and yanked it. She let out a loud shriek, while her face quickly turned beetroot red.


"One. Never touch my clothes again. Two if you step foot in my room one more time, I will personally break every bone in your body till you cry no more. Am I understood?", I growled lowly.

She began to whimper whilst shaking her head like a mad man.

"Good".

I stepped aside and walked towards the attic trying to get away from the she-wolf. Before I could reach the handle for the door she shouted across the bar, "You've changed".


I halted, slowly turning around and facing the newbie I glared at her hoping she would no longer speak.

I turned back around facing the wooden door while pondering her words. I wanted to shout back yes! Surviving is hard, being thrust into a world you never intended to be in, hurts you.

Instead, I replied with a simple "yes", then disappeared through the door and climbed up the familiar stairs of the attic.

END OF FLASHBACK


I stretched my legs, while stifling back a yawn my body still ached and mind was ablaze with not so many great thoughts. But I was staying away from the bane, and willing myself push passed the pain. Roxy continued to howl each day, her howls only intensifying each day which left me waking with an ear-splitting headaches each morning.

I pushed myself to get out of bed, the mattress automatically squeaking beneath me as I shuffledmy weight off it. I walked towards the bathroom, my feet picking and pushingthe rotten newspapers and specks of glass.

I looked at the vanity, scrutinising the reflection of my sleepless self my eyes a puffy mess whilst my hair hadpreviously looked better than its current state. I sighed, as I took a comb tomy hair and then began to pat some concealer under my eyes.


I looked back at the finished product, the bags were less visible while my hair was back to its usual waves. That's the best I could do, I thought as I shrugged my shoulders and turned towards the wooden closet.

I opened the closet doors swiftly, while scanning for a potential outfit for tonight's shift. I lifted my hand and gently grazed my palm against the clothes a small smile began to appear on my face as I recalled how the Alpha tried to offer me new clothes. I shook my head, at the memory after all that's what it was a silly memory.


Finally deciding on an outfit, I pulled on the dress and waddled toward the mirror, to scrutinise any imperfections in place. I eyed the dress, my lips quickly sporting a satisfied grin as the dress was form-fitted which meant it accentuated my subtle curves.


The dress had a split on its side which stopped right before my upper thigh and a deep neckline that left my chest open and exposed. I let out a sigh, then walked back to the closet to complete the look with the pair of Jimmy Chu's.

"Anastasia!", Jackson yelled.

"I'm coming!", I growled.

I quickly rushed to the door my heels clanking against the wooden boards and filling the silent room with subtle noise. I pushed my feet, against the stairs ensuring I took them quickly but without any missteps.

"There you are! Alright I need you to start up the drinks then provide some table service for any wolves", Jackson rushed out.

I looked at him with an impassive expression; I wasn't sure if providing table service to wolves was a good idea considering now I had a mate. Though I couldn't exactly tell Jackson I had a mate, let alone who he was that would surely end me up In hot water.

"What?", he growled his brows lifted in challenge.

Clearing my throat, I spoke up, "I can't provide table service anymore...".

Jackson stared back at me, his face impassive and brows set oh shit he doesn't look happy.

"So first you leave the bar when you fucken want, then finally get your ass back here and demand to be off the floor", he snarled. He took a step closer, his eyes now filled with a hidden glint while he shook his head slowly almost menacingly.

"Ah Anastasia, you think it's that easy huh? You stroll in when you fucken want and do what you want". He reached for a lock of my hair and twisted it slowly between his fingers. While my muscle automatically tensed at the action, he was too close for comfort.

I visibly gulped, while trying to take a step back to create some distance from Jackson, instead as though seeing through my intent he leaned in closer towards my ear.

"Don't forget your place, Anna. You're nothing but a useless Rogue", he whispered.

Now that was uncalled for and felt like a slap to the face

Taking in a deep breath I gave Jackson a light push while nodding in response, "That may be the case, but I'm not going to allow those wolves-I pointed towards the wolves who had already filled the bar.

"The opportunity to take advantage of me, I'll do the drinks but that's it", I grunted.

Jackson tsked, "oh you're wrong there, you'll also grace them with your presence tonight, after all, you wouldn't want to leave the one place you call home right?".


My eyes wide, I looked at Jackson in disbelief this asshole was threatening me! And he knew exactly what I cared for the most.

Son of a bitch.

"Fine", I growled.

I stalked off towards the bar, basking in the familiar scent of the alcohol which filled my nostrils and burned through my lungs. The bar was half-lit, which created an alluring atmosphere for the wolves, and seduced them through poison and promises.



I took a shot glass, and quickly filled it with the familiar clear liquid I lifted the glass towards my lips and savoured every drop from it. I needed, something to kickstart the shift as always. Not long after the newbie appeared in front of the bar, she looked at her notepad in hand and began to read out the varying drink orders.

✩。:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:。✩

Soon the bar was abuzz with wolves. Every wolf seated in their own tables taking visible sips of their brown liquor. Loud bustling laughter cracked through the air, as the alcohol soon lifted the weight off the wolf's shoulders. They gave in to the promise of the bar, a lure, or an escape from their realities.


The smell of bane tingled in the air, as it was a favourable drink most wolves here enjoyed as it lulled their minds enough to unwind yet not entirely to lose control of themselves. Well that of course, depended on how many they consumed. Though I always tried to keep a watchful gaze, to ensure some knew their limits.

I was currently mixing a few drinks and throwing in chunks of ice at the bottom of each cup to ensure it was served cold.


"Anastasia!", Jackson yelled. I automatically, sucked in a deep breath once hearing my name I had already told Jackson I didn't want to be on the floor. Yet I was once again placed in a bind with threats.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts I served up the final drinks onto the bar counter then slowly walked around the edge of the bar and made my way through to the main floor.


I willed a smile to play on my lips whilst I glanced between Jackson and a wolf who seemed to be dancing to close to his limits.

"Yes", I stated coolly although it seemed to come out as a question.

Jackson narrowed his eyes, clearly irritated at the question. Though his expression quickly changed as he glanced over at the wolf. He sported a smile, which was a stark contrast to his devilish gaze prior.

"Anastasia will keep you company tonight", he declared.

My eyes grew wide at the remark, I felt a stone lodge in the back of my throat as my heart raced. I looked over to the wolf who now seemed to eye every inch of me with his scrutinising gaze.

The wolf wasn't young, he seemed to be in his later forties judging from the small white hairs which filled his scalp like salt and pepper. His eyes were sullen and lined underneath, while his body seemed to be equipped with enough muscle to indicate his status as a warrior.

I felt trapped.

As Jackson walked towards me a smirk painted across his face, he lifted his arm and patted me on the shoulder before walking away. That's it I was left on my own now, once again hidden expectations sneaked their way through and left me in a bind.

I slowly raised my eyes, looking directly at the wolf who now had a broad smile on his face he's shoulders slumped back into the armchair while his fingers were clasped around a drink. I inhaled a deep breath, rolled my shoulders back and walked toward the wolf.

I took a seat next to the armchair which sat across from him and forced a flirty smile to plague my face while I crossed my legs. I leaned forward towards the coffee table which was adorned with several platters, I picked up a strawberry and bit into it slowly. The wolf's eyes followed my every movement, not once faltering as I licked my lips.


"So...what do you want?", I chirped.


His eyes widened at the abrupt question. "Oooh you're a feisty one", he mused while swirling the brown liquid in his cup.

A moment later, he leaned forward his free arm stretched out across the table and reached for my bare thigh. I narrowed my eyes at the movement my body tensed, and my palms clenched at my sides.

The wolf smirked, as he saw me visibly tense, he squeezed my thigh with his palm and smirked. "Oh darling, we're going to have an exciting night together", he growled.


I was just about to peel his sweaty palm off my thigh when I heard a commotion arise in the bar. I twisted my body and peered ahead I couldn't quite see what was going on as a few standing wolves obscured my view. I craned my neck back a bit before I could see the newbie with her head bent in submission.

What on earth-

"Darling-", the wolf tried to get my attention. I simply waved him off trying to hush him up.

That's when I heard the deadliest growl fill the air.

I gasped, my eyes grew wide as the woodsy scent travelled through the air and filled my bare lungs.

He pushed his way passed the newbie, and our eyes locked. His jaw was clenched tightly and eyes ablaze with pain. An emotion I'd not witnessed from the Alpha. He's been mad and hellbent, yes, but in pain not so much. Just as quickly, his face was void of any emotion, he stood tall, his shoulders broad. While the muscles could barely be tamed under his shirt.


He adorned a scruffy beard which was kept well right above his chiselled jawline. His Golden-brown locks were swept to the side, clearly dismissed of any attention. He was dressed in a form-fitting blue shirt and black slacks which clung to the surface of his legs and emphasised his lower muscles.

He too had given me a once over, his eyes roaming my body and scrutinising every inch as though he were committing it to memory.

Though as his eyes lingered, it stopped short at the strangers hand which currently sat on my thigh. Looking back to my bare thigh, I quickly tired to lift the wolf's heavy hand though the moment I tried to pick him off he only held on tighter.

I narrowed my eyes to the wolf and shouted, "Run!". I motioned my hands fervently towards the exit trying to emphasise where he had to disappear.

The wolf lifted his brows in question and opened his mouth to speak but it was too late.

Shit.

Within a second the Alpha, took three long strides and stood in front of us. His gaze now murderous as his blue orbs began to flash a dark ebony.

I felt a stone, lodge in my throat, I couldn't swallow sheer panic took over me as I realised what might happen.


On instinct I acted, I quickly stood up and placed myself in front of the alpha who tried to push me aside fervently. I had to muster up a lot of strength and energy to keep my position, as he growled and tried to step aside. I placed both my palms against his chest, feeling his heart beat between my finger tips.

"Not here", I whispered. Whilst shaking my head.

I only hope he would listen. Never had I been placed in such a predicament. I mean- were not mated so he has no right to bust in here like this. But another part of me was screaming at the attention and jealously he displayed.

Was I his? No. Was he mine? No. We were in no man's land.

"Please", I repeated softly only for his ears to hear.

Slowly he peeled his eyes away from the wolf and lowered his gaze to mine. His eyes lingered on my hands which were sprawled against his growling chest.

I quickly, pulled away creating some distance between us, I was quite aware of the eyes which currently lingered on us. All wolves had stopped their conversations and now watched the commotion that arose.

Though as I stepped away the Alpha stepped passed me and stood right In front of the wolf.

"Which hand was it you touched her with?", he growled.


I sucked in a deep breath, shaking my head I mean I did warn the guy to run.

The wolf smirked in response, "oh c'mon no need to be a party pooper-", he then leaned forward in his chair and motioned towards me, "we can share her together", he winked further emphasising what he meant.

I scoffed at his remark, while the Alpha growled lowly and dangerously.

The Alpha leaned towards wolf and growled, "never touched a she-wolf who's not your mate", he then snatched the wolf's right arm and twisted it. A crack filled the air indicating the wolf's broken arm, his face scrunched up in pain and quickly turned beetroot red.


The Alpha was reaching for the wolves second arm, before I jerked his hand away.

"That's enough!", I growled.

I dropped his arm hastily and walked towards the staircase ignoring all the shouts from the newbie. I pushed the door and took the steps two at a time. When I reached the attic door, I pushed it and rushed towards the bathroom.

I turned on the faucet and splashed myself with cool water as I felt a fire raging in me. Like flames dancing across my skin. I realised it was the bond's reaction to having him so close to me.

A minute later, the door smacked the wall as he busted in. He quickly closed the door and began to pace the room till I left the bathroom.

"Why are you here", he growled. His hands lifted in an exasperated manner.

"I could ask you the same thing!", I shouted.

He growled lifting his brows, "There you go again! Why do you always challenge everything I say".

I crossed my arms, while taking in a deep breath, his woodsy scent filled the air and trapped my lungs. Having him so close, after so long was beginning to weaken the resolve I held strong.

"...And what about you! You don't think of what you say or how it will affect others-", I paced around the room to keep some distance between us as he leaned against the wall across me. He too seemed to be aware of the proximity and how dangerously we were dancing towards each other.

"You. You confuse me and hurt me at the same time. You locked me up when you first found out I was your mate! Why? Because I was a Rogue. Are fucken kidding me? Then you try to kill me while I was in the hospital!", I growled my face flushing red.

I glared at him from across the room daring to speak. But to my surprise, he winced. The stoic and careless Alpha actually, winced. While he looked away, his gaze lingered on the wooden floorboards.

"I-I was mistaken. You're different from the other Rogues. I'm sorry", he muttered.

My eyes grew wide at the declaration. Never had I seen him apologise to anyone not even to his own family from the time I've come to know him. What on earth was going on here.

"You what?", I squeaked. Still in shock at his deceleration.

He peeled his eyes away from the floor and glanced my way. He pushed his leg off the wall and strode towards me. I blinked, following his every step while I fisted my palms at my side.

He stopped in front of me, his blue orbs holding me captive. While his face no longer held his stoic mask, instead it seemed to soften a bit.

"You undo me", he voiced lowly.

"Don't", I growled.

He took a small step towards me, while I took one step back.

"You're apology isn't enough!", I shouted anxiously.

He halted. While his eyes held a look of pain, as his lips turned into a frown. Sighing, he shook his head.

"I know. I fucked up. But do you feel the bond? The tingles...the thoughts it's all real", he said coolly.

I glanced away and slowly nodded in acceptance. It was becoming harder to form words, as both the bond and his words were intoxicating.

He slowly reached for my chin attempting to turn my face towards him.

"I burn for you so deeply it hurts. Do you think this is easy for me. To be so deeply infatuated with a Rogue. To yearn for your touch-", he growled while reaching for a fallen lock.

I gulped, as I felt an array of tingles and jolts fill the pit of my stomach. I took another small step back while the Alpha followed suit.


"Then d-don't! just leave", I growled although my attempts to remain fierce were falling through as the nerves taunted me.


The Alpha took another step closer, while I took another back until I felt my hands smack into the attic walls. The Alpha smirked, realising now that I was trapped.


"See that's the thing, I can't leave", he said his voice appearing frustrated as he tried to pull away.

He leaned in closer, pressing his body against mine. I shuddered, as I felt the heat of his body and his scent waft onto mine.

 I slowly lifted my head towards him, and that's when the thin rope that was holding my resolve crumpled completely .

His lips found mine. My eyes instinctively fluttered closed as our lips met fervently- his lips were harsh and brittle but tasted so sweet. The stubble on his jaw, tickled my face as we continued to kiss sending subtle shivers down my spine.

My body burned, as his hands moved from my face and slipped down my sides pinning me completely against him. My fingers sprawled against his chest moving up and down slowly. I could feel his heart beating rapidly against my fingertips.


We kissed passionately, my feelings of deception disappearing while being replaced with hunger, need and lust.  

The Alpha broke the kiss with a smile allowing us both to catch our breaths. I looked up into his eyes which were completely engulfed by dark rays of ebony. "Fuck", he whispered softly, before looking down at me. 

"Kawan", I breathed out completely engulfed by flames. He looked down at me for a moment, before lifting my feet off the floor. I yelped in shock, before wrapping my legs around his waist bringing our crotches closer. 

A heart beat later, he began to kiss me again this time more deeply as he sucked and nipped at my lips. A faint moan slipped passed my lips, as he ground his hips against my core. His body was hard against my chest, making the dancing flames alight further and further.


I felt his wolf come  to bay, as his teeth sunk into my bottom lip sucking at the blood which coursed through my veins.

We continued to make out, his lips hungry and needy against mine claiming them completely for himself and no other man.


His hands tugged against the hem of my dress impatiently, lifting the skirt and exposing my lacy underwear. I moaned into his mouth, as he cupped my core, slowly squeezing it with his fingers. 

"You like that do you", he growled. His voice thick and heavy with desire.

I whimpered in response and  thrusted my hip against his growing member. He groaned aloud, smacking his palm against my ass. I yelped, jumping against his arms as his grip quickly tightened grabbing a hold of my quivering body. 



My heart was pounding in between my ears, while perspiration filled my forehead and neck. Heat radiated from his body like tidal waves, while his hot breath fanned against my face. 


Caught in the heat, I almost didn't hear the knock against the attic door. Until the newbie spoke up curiosity filling her voice, "Anna can I talk to you? What happened down there?".


She continued to knock while He sucked on my lips, I shook my head trying to push away from the lustrous haze.

"Anna!", the newbie shouted. Determined to get answers to her questions.

"I'm coming in then!", she shouted.

"Fuck", I whispered.

I quickly pressed my palms against his chest to break the kiss. We were both a panting mess, as our breaths mingled together. I glanced up at dark orbs, in disbelief of what just happened. But the newbies, threat was becoming a reality as I heard the door creak.

I quickly stepped aside, and pulled down the hem of my dress before reaching for the door. I poked my head out, narrowing my eyes at the newbie.

"I'm busy right now, I'll talk to you later", I growled.


She opened her mouth to speak, but I held my palm up. She shrugged before, looking back. Jackson appeared behind her. Eyes ablaze and fierce.

 

"We need to talk", he growled lowly.

oh shit.

。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆

A/N

FINALLY SPARKS ARE FLYING! AND THE HEAT IS BURNING THROUGH.

PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO VOTE, COMMENT OR FOLLOW!! 💜

UNTIL NEXT TIME, HAPPY READING.

(I JUST RE-EDITED THE END SCENE, I DIDN'T LIKE THE ORIGINAL DRAFT :)

~COCO ✨️




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