Chapter 36 - The Thoughts That Cross My Heart

Very Often

Im sure we all wonder

At Some Point in Our Lives

If this tiny little fist shaped organ

Whose Core Job is to Pump Blood into our body

Has a Mind of Its Own

For The Heart Can Feel

It's the Emperor of Our emotions

And the Heart Surely Can Think

For how else can we explain the thoughts, it often slamdunks into our Brains

How else could there be an explaination for those, Thoughts that Cross Our Hearts??

And only the Heart knows Where,

And in which corner of its Chambers, is That mastermind, that operates the software that rules our beings

And only the Heart knows Why, this Mastermind has the Power that it has, that power that makes us mere puppets in its hands

And only the Heart Knows How, does it Mangae to work overtime, for probably every second of our Lives,

Pumping Blood and Igniting emotions

And Processing and Controlling those Million Thoughts

Those Zillion Thoughts That Cross Our Hearts.

.............

The Hospital - Zoya's Suite

Zoya heard the Nurse say - " ill be right outside on my station, just ring the bell if you need anything...."

Zoya nodded,and she watched her leave, and she shut the room to her door.

Asad looked at Zoya, they were finally alone, not for long he knew, because Anjali di would call him soon to get Zoya, to her mother's suite which was on this floor,and he knew this was what Zoya wanted and probably needed too, right now, in this moment, to be with her mother.

He noticed her wiping a tear out of her eye, as she looked away from him , breaking the eye lock, the intensity of the moment was driving him insane, for now that he was finally alone with her, he didn't know how to find the right words to say to her, even though a zillion thoughts were crossing his heart in that one moment.

He saw her wipe another tear of her other eye, as she stared at her hands, looking down at them,and he knew it, for he could sense the pain and the agony that was giving rise to those tears.

Some thoughts told him, to bury himself in her arms, and never let go, and shelter himself back in the shadow of her Love

Some thoughts told him, not to worry about how they had broken each others hearts, and just love her insane,just like he did,before he had let the darkness over take him.

Some thoughts told him to just listen to his emotions, and go back to the dream of a life,they had built.

But at the same time,

Some thoughts told him, that something was different about her silence right now

Some thoughts told him, that he desperately needed to know what was on her mind.

Some thoughts told him,that reality had struck and those dreams had been broken

That he was the one who had burned all bridges

And now, he just didn't know how to walk towards her

And lessen the distance

That stood marked in between of them.

He Closed his eyes for a brief second, and decided to follow his gut instinct as he walked up to her ,and sat next to her, and held her hand, catching her by surprise as she looked at him and their eyes Locked,and he whispered softly - " we have so much to talk about Zoya..."

Zoya looked at him, as she fought her own battle of emotions and she looked away as she whispered - " do we?? do we really??"

Asad looked at her in worry, and he asked softly - " of course....don't you think so??"

Zoya said honestly - " i dont know, I mean, i dont know what to say, i dont know if theres anything else left to say...."

Asad knew where this was coming from, but he took a deep breathe, as he put a hand in his pocket and took out the ring and he held it in front of her as he whispered - " they handed it to me yesterday, but this isn't where it belongs....", and he picked up her hand,as he started to make her wear it, and she pulled her hand back to his shock, and took the ring from his hand, as she rubbed her fingers over it, and looked at it ,and she was sure the raw emotion was evident in her voice as she said - " theres a small blood stain on it, its my blood, I know...."

Asad nodded,and he took it from her and he rubbed it clean,wondering how a stain was still left, he had cleaned it earlier,and just as he was about to make her wear it again, she pulled her hand away again, and he looked at her as he asked, sure the pained emotion was visible in his voice too - " Zoya??"

Zoya took a deep breathe as she said - " I wish, I wish it were so easy to wipe the stains,that Life has thrown our way Asad,and go back in time, i wish it were that easy, but it isnt, for some stains always remain, infact the harder you try to rub them off, the more visible they get...."

Asad closed his eyes as he fought his emotions,and he looked at her as he said - " im sorry...Zoya, i wasn't thinking straight, it was as if some darkness had consumed me...I am sorry I forced you into signing those damm annulment papers, i cant explain what came over me, but I cant tell you how sorry I am...please tell me where are the papers, ill tear them apart and burn them first thing...."

Zoya looked at him, the emotion was there on his face and the regret was genuine and she said - " I know that you are...i know that you are sorry, but its too late...."

Asad - " what do you mean??"

Zoya looked at him as she said - " I had Aman file the papers in court, i has asked him to come see me early morning at the Hotel, and I went to see Khushi after...",and she paused, because of the broken expression on his face and she said looking away - " you wanted me out of your house, out of your Life, you didn't want anything to do, you were so sure,and I knew there was probably nothing that would change your mind, so there was no point in delaying it anyway,so i filed them,and in a way its for the best, I'm sure our file is already in process....you should be happy Asad, isn't it what you wanted??"

Asad fought for words,he didn't know what to say, but he said - " Zoya, I..."

Zoya interupted him as she asked softly - " you didn't want me in your Life then, and i guess thats how it should remain Asad, I know I hurt you, I broke your heart...and like you had said, i probably deserve it, or probably do deserve much worse, and maybe just maybe my life thinks so too, thats why probably all of this happened to me, and to us...."

Asad didnt know what emotion took him over as he pulled her into a crushing hug , as he said - " no, Zoya, please say anything but that, I know I screwed up big time, but no we didn't deserve this, we didn't deserve to loose our child, and you definitely dont deserve what happened...."

Zoya pulled out of his hug as she felt him a wipe a tear out of her eye and she said honestly, holding his hand -" I screwed up too, we both screwed up big time, and i dont want to go back and think about it, for we cant change what happened,and like i said,its too late i already filed the annulment...its over...we are over...."

Asad cupped her face as he said - "and i dont care about whether you filed it, no Zoya, we aren't over,you and me are not over....I won't allow this to happen...i will not"

Zoya looked at him broken as she felt tears fall her eyes - " why??? what do you want from me??? why?? you wanted me out of your Life, you wanted to leave me...you said you could never look at me the same way again,or probably feel the same way again, then what has changed now?? what has changed?? is it my accident...?? I know it is that, and the aftermath of it, and you are feeling guilty and regret, but no, I don't want your sympathy, or your pity..."

Asad look at her and gaped at her in shock, but he controlled his emotions as he understood that it was natural for her to feel this way and he cupped her face as he made her look at him - " look at me Zoya, i said, im sorry, i said, i screwed up, big time, but you have to know, that im not talking out of regret or guilt or sympathy or pity right now, im talking out of love, the love that I feel for you, because i have realised that I was wrong, i was so wrong, i should have known, i should have seen and found that light in my heart to forgive you, for whats one or two mistakes when it comes to Love...but I know, you have it in you , for your heart is bigger than mine, i know you have it in your heart to forgive me, Zoya the past is out and me and Arnav have sorted things out, hes forgiven me too, please just find that light in your heart to forgive me,and i promise ill make it all ok, theres no obstacle in our way this time around Zoya, no haunting past, no ememity, nothing....we can start afresh....I know we can...."

Zoya looked at him straight in the eye as she said softly,and honestly everything inside of her was breaking, tears falling off her eyes - " a obstacle exists, the obstacle is that my heart is shattered, its butchered, it lies all scattered in peices, wounded, hurt and bruised,all that anger you unleashed on me and the annulment came as a brutal blow to my heart, and of course then the accident, the miscarriage, and this condition with my leg,it came and swept everything off me like a storm,of whatever was left off me,and now I just feel lost, like iv never felt before, i dont know how am i going to start moving on, I know i have too, i cant stand still, i have to get up, i have to fight, i have to find myself again, but its a battle that i will fight alone Asad.....look don't make it more hard for me than it already is...please...."

Asad cupped her face with both his hands as he rubbed her cheek tenderly and he asked softly - " why do you want to push me away?? I need you Zoya....you know i need you in my Life....please forgive me...please...i wasn't thinking, i don't know what made me think i could go on without you, I can't, i just can't....."


Zoya looked into his eyes, the emotion that it was stirring inside of her, forgiveness, was she doing this because she couldn't forgive him?? of course not.She knew it was only a matter of time, and in her heart she would forgive him, but she was doing this, because what she had said was true, she was lost and numb like she had never felt before,she had no clue what her life had in store for her,not anymore,everything was in a mess, nothing could ever be the same...and how could she subject him to a journey in which she only feared that she would hurt him due to her insecurities and anxiety.

She looked into his eyes deeper, of course the tears that shone inside of them were reflecting the pain of his heart, but he only realised this due to her accident, she really wasn't sure, if this was love talking, and not sympathy or guilt.And just as those memories of their final face off came back to her mind, she only felt that this really was Asad's guilt talking, and it was natural, if she hadn't miscarried he would have probably wanted her back due to obligation , and now he probably wanted her back out of sympathy.

And they had both hurt each other so much, that , the Love he was talking about, was also probably lying around scattered, bruised, butchered, like their hearts. It was probably in a place, from where there was no turning back.

And because she was sure of that fact ,she couldn't let it happen, what he wanted wasn't possible for now, for that would break everything inside of her,it would break everything that was left off her spirit.

And not just that, she wasn't the same Zoya he had fallen in love with anymore, she was now broken in every way.

Could she expect him to look at her in the same way really??? When she knew she couldn't even look at her own self in the same way as before??

Ofcourse Not.

And so she knew she had to Lie.

She finally looked away as she took his hands off her face - " please don't ask me for something that i cant give you anymore....Asad, I dont have anything to give to you, not love, not forgiveness, probably only pain...and I can't...",and she choked on her own words, because of the emotion as she picked up the ring he had kept aside on the table, and handed it back to him as she said - " I cant do this anymore....its over, soon legally too, everything will be over, our marriage will be annulled,and it would be like as if it never happened...so its better if we both just go with the flow, and erase it all off too....nothing is the same anymore, nothing can ever be the same anymore...i am not going to change my decision,forget us Asad, because we both have burned every bridge that could connect us in anyway, and that love, that once used to be is probably lying out there, as butchered and bruised, like our hearts right now...and its probably lost and hidden itself in a place we cannot seek it from.....its too late for us Asad...it is...its better if you accept this truth, the sooner the better it will be for you..."

Asad clutched the ring in his hand, as he fought his emotions, and fought for words, he didn't know what to say right now, when everything inside of him was breaking.

Was it true??

Had they really burned all the bridges??

Was their love really Lost??

Could she never forgive him??

Could nothing ever really be the same??

He didn't know, he didn't know anything right now, and before he could say anything further, his phone rang, and he picked it up to hear Anjali di,asking him to get Zoya to her mothers room and he said, composing himself - " ok di, yes, ill just get her....", and he hung up as he looked at Zoya and he said, putting the ring back in his pocket - " its time to see your mother Zoya..."

Zoya rang the bell and right then the Nurse came in, and she said - " i dont have a crutch right now, and I cant walk on both my feet, could you please bring me a wheelchair, id like to go see my mother....shes in the other suite on this floor"

The Nurse gave her a small smile and she said - " ofcourse, give me 5 minutes, ill just be back..."

Asad watched Zoya shift in bed, as she looked away, and he could see the effort she was making as she touched her left thigh and was probably trying to make it move.

He didn't know what thought that had crossed his heart in that one moment made him act on impulse,as he immediately bent forward and scooped Zoya in his arms,and he was shocked as he realised that she felt so light ,and she looked at him in shock as she tried to fight his arms and she said with irritation in her voice - " what are you doing?? put me back on the bed...she will be here in five minutes....put me down, you can't possibly carry me like this in front of my family, don't you get it, nothing that you do, or you say, can ever make anything alright in between of us, its over Asad, for good...what part of I don't want anything to do with you, you don't understand...."

Asad closed his eyes for a brief second fighting the pain, that her words inflicted on his already butchered and broken heart, but he didn't put her down,and he looked at her briefly, as he carried her in his arms and then masked his emotions as he looked straight ahead and he said,stepping out - " I clearly understand Zoya, but i guess its only fair, you'v waited almost half your life to see your mother, and she wants to see you too,i dont think any of you should be kept apart a minute longer...."

Zoya had felt a zillion emotions go through her heart as she had felt him scoop her in his arms as if she were his delicate doll,but she masked her emotions with irritation and spoke everything she didn't really mean, and as she registered in his taut face,she knew she had hurt him right now,and probably she would have to hurt him a lot more, and push him over that edge, so that he could leave her alone, to face the mess, that her Life was.

She wanted him,still, every part of her yearned for him,and she probably always would want him just like she would want oxygen, but was that enough right now??

Ofcourse not.

Because, sometimes, in Life, it wasn't about what you want, it was about what you need.

An right now,at this point of her Life and its condition, this was what she needed,she needed to fight this battle, alone.

.....................

Kkusum Raizada looked at her family,and then at her son and her daughter, as she wiped her tears and she composed herself,she knew Zoya, her little Zoya would be here through these doors,and she couldn't believe the terrible accident her daughter had been in,she had also lost her baby, and then of course the condition with her leg, but Arnav had explained that Dr Arvind had said, it wasn't as bad as they had feared,and she was glad Dr Arvind was heading her daughters case, and she looked at Arnav as she asked - "Chotte, is Asad with Zoya right now??"

Arnav nodded,and he heard his sister speak - " yes, i just called him, hes with her...."

Kkusum nodded,and her own mother walked upto her,as she kissed her forehead - " i know you just woke up, and its too much for you to take in, but we couldn't hide it from you longer, you would know once you saw Zoya..."

KKusum looked at her mother and hugged her - "amma, i'm fine...and im happy you convinced Chotte and Anjali to tell me the whole truth, rather than have them filter it out....",and she turned to Anjali as she asked - " is Dilshaad alright?? im sure to see her daughter fighting for her Life, what do the doctors say about Khushi??"

Arnav stiffened,and he let his sister answer to that, as he heard her say - " she isn't out of danger yet, and also Maa, we havent told Zoya yet...."

Kkusum nodded - "we will all pray, Chotte, track those criminals down...have the left the country for real??"

Arnav - "Maa, Aman is already at it..."

KKusum - "Aman??"

Akash smiled as he walked up and stood in front of his bua - "bua, seriously, thats one thing you surely missed, the bromance between Arnav and his right hand Aman...but to his credit, he's very efficient..."

Arnav rolled his eyes at Akash - " very funny..."

Payal asked Anjali - " di, we have to let Zoya know, i mean she will find out, its better if you tell her...."

Anjali nodded - " I will...", and right the they all saw the door opened, and Asad walked in carrying Zoya in his arms,and Kkusum Raizada smiled at that sight,as she finally saw her youngest daughter and she saw tears streak down her cheeks as she whispered - " maa....",and right then everyone walked a step back,and Asad delicately placed Zoya on the bed next to her mother as he said, looking at everyone - " the wheelchair would take longer, and i guess it was only fair, Zoya has waited almost all her life for this moment..."

Arnav watched Asad step back,as his mother smiled at Asad,and Zoya immediately hugged her mother,as she whispered - " Maa, i cant believe I'm finally seeing you after all this while....."

Kkusum hugged her daughter, her youngest,she was the apple of their eyes, and she felt her hug her tighter,as she started to cry,and sob heavily,and she could only hug her harder to herself,as she brushed her hair and whispered kissing her on the head - "shhhh, Zoya, shh, my daughter is strong, very strong...isnt she???everything will be alright beta, it will be..."

But Zoya couldn't stop crying, how do you stop the flow of emotions in a moment as vulnerable as this.

Arnav looked at Asad out of the corner of his eye, and he saw Asad wipe a tear out of his eye, and he could sense that probably something had happened between him and Zoya before this,and he gestured to his sister to handle it, and she nodded,as she walked a little further sat nears Zoya's feet on the bed and she touched Zoya's left leg as she said - "Zoya...compose yourself,please we cant see you like this, you know we can't...."

Zoya nodded,and she wiped her tears mentally whacking herself for loosing her self like this and sending everyone into worry, but she cuddled next to her mother closer,and she felt her hug her as her arm went around her shoulder, and she said giving a small smile to everyone , wanting to lighten the moment - " what do you all expect?? you all got to see Maa before me, i was just crying because I lost my bet to bhai and di, id always tell them that when Maa would finally open her eyes,id make sure that id be the first one she'd see, and not her favorite Chotte...or you di...."

Kkusum smiled through her tears and she touched her daughter's hand as she said - " you do know, that this is precisely the reason why your father and me always said that you were the twinkle of our eyes, because even back as a child, you were always the one who was the Life of the house, because of your sparkling spirit...and you will not let this adversity pull you down Zoya...."

Zoya clutched her mothers hand,as she nodded - "ofcourse not, Maa...."

And right then she saw Dilshaad enter through the door, with the solemn look on her face and she asked - " ammi,wheres Khushi?? first I thought shed be here, and then when i didn't spot her, i just figured she was probably with you, where is she?? why hasn't she come to see me...I know she would have wanted to see me first thing out, why isn't she here????",and then just as she looked at the solemn faces of her family,and the broken look on Asad's face, and the devastated look on her brothers face that he had masked immediately, and she saw Dilshaad sit on the sofa dejected as tears started to fall her eyes, and Zoya realised that something was wrong, very wrong, and she looked at everyone as she asked, sure that her voice was shaking - " I asked, wheres Khushi, why isn't anyone telling me anything??"

She looked at her sister - " di???"

And then she looked at Asad and then at her brother,as she asked with fear in her voice - " I could manage to get the truth out to the two of you...and did you get the recording on my phone....you were able to reach Khushi on time right, please dont tell me that Arhaan took her to germany....please why dont you all speak up....??"

Anjali took a deep breathe as she said - " of course we heard the recording....but.."

Zoya - " but what di...."

Anjali sighed as she started to tell Zoya about everything that happened,and then Akash joined her and Zoya listened in a stunned silence,as she looked at Asad's pale face, and then at her brother as she heard her Akash finish -" and before we knew it, Mehmet had shot Khushi....and we rushed here as soon as we could....but..."

Zoya felt tears fall down her eyes as she asked - "but what?????wheres Khushi??????what happened to Khushi?????"

Anjali sighed as she said - "shes critical Zoya, she's on life support right now...."

Life Support??

Khushi was on life support right now??

She was fighting for her life??

She looked at Asad,why hadn't he told her any of this before??

She closed her eyes in agony as she whispered, tears starting to fall down her eyes - " this is my fault, all my fault, i shouldn't have left her alone, i shouldn't have listened to her, ohhh good Khushi...."

Dilshaad finally composed herself,as she walked up to Zoya,and pulled her into a hug - " i just saw her, her pulse has improved to 56, which is a good sign , i know Khushi, she will fight this out, and im making myself clear once and for all, i don't want anyone, any of you in this room blaming yourself over what happened to Khushi, it was an accident,theres no point in thinking otherwise, everything will be alright...all we need is faith...."

Kkusum nodded,as she held Zoya and Dilshad's hand and she said - "yes, all we need is faith....and everything will be alright, it has to be...."

Zoya looked at Asad, as he stood looking into nowhere, and she knew this was a hard time,so she'd have to just put everything else aside for now, until Khushi was better.

Zoya then asked - "and Arhaan?? wheres he??"

Arnav had been standing silently, until then, and he finally spoke - " I had Aman track them down, and he just messaged me that all three of them,Arhaan, Mehmet and his wife, have left the country....they took the first flight out to Germany..."

Zoya looked at him and then at Asad,as a stunned silence took over the room,and she leaned back into the bed as she asked her sister - " di, do you think Dr Arvind will allow me to see Khushi?? I need to see her..."

And right then Dr Arvind walked in through the door as he said - " i think i could make another exception here, but not straight away...maybe later....like in an hour or so..."

Zoya nodded and she heard him say - "why dont you get some rest now Zoya...your reports will be here soon, and in the meanwhile, i need to check your mother too...."

Zoya nodded,and she was about to get up from the bed, just as she saw a nurse walk in behind her with a wheelchair,and she heard the DR say - "do choose a crutch for yourself this evening Zoya..."

Zoya nodded,and she let the nurse help her into the wheelchair and she tried to put all her weight on her right leg as she stood up on it, keeping her left leg a little in the air,but before she knew it she lost balance, and she saw her brother and Asad leap in towards her as they held her by each of her sides and the nurse helped her upfront and she heard her brother say - "take it easy...Zoya...."

Asad looked at her,and their eyes locked for a brief second and he asked softly - " you ok??"

Zoya nodded,and she said softly - " im fine...thanks bhai..Asad...but i can handle myself...",and then she struggled a little on her right foot, but she managed to sit in the wheelchair,and they saw the nurse take her out.

Arnav saw Asad walk out the door, and he looked behind to see Dr Arvind checking his mother, and his family was now occupied,and he walked out with him,and he looked at Asad watching out at Zoya's back,as he stood in silence, but the longing was on his face,and he said - " Asad, why do i feel that, her I can handle myself, had a larger implication out here..."

Asad could only look back at Arnav as he said, in a tone that was very dejected - " she filed the annulment yesterday morning..."

Arnav looked at him in shock - " what?? howww??"

Asad - " through Aman....and like i feared, i dont think she can ever forgive me...for burning all the bridges..."

Arnav - "she said that??"

Asad nodded,as he took out the ring of his pocket and held it out in the palm, in front of Arnav - "yes, and that she doesn't have anything to give to me any longer, neither love nor forgiveness...and that its over, she wouldn't even consider it, i know she thinks iv changed my mind, because of the accident , and sympathy and regret and guilt...."

Arnav nodded as he understood and he said - "Zoya has been like that you know so different, yet a lot like me, and i can understand where she's getting this from...but you need to give her time..."

Asad nodded - "ofcourse, i know i need to give her time...but i cant help but feel so anguished because I know even though I'm here for her, she wouldn't have me....how will i ever forgive myself Arnav?? i don't know if ill ever be able to..."

Arnav took a deep breathe and he said - " time, thats all you two need, and i can sense that she's going to probably construct a wall around herself, a wall that you probably cant breach...but I know from experience that the higher you build the walls around your heart,the harder you fall when someone finally gets around to breaking them down, and I don't know how much time it would take, but i do know, when those walls do break,youd be there to catch her,as she falls...."

Asad gave him a sad smile as he nodded - " always....id never let her hit the ground..."

Arnav nodded - " good and I was right, Zoya is lucky to have you, I know, you do love her more than you probably even know..."

Asad shot him a confused look as he asked - " how are you able to say that with so much conviction??and how are you not beating the shit out of me for hurting your sister the way I have??"

Arnav took a deep breathe, could he tell Asad the truth straight away that he could say so with so much conviction because he had first hand experience with his sibling with regards to Love,and he knew very well how the hearts of the Khan siblings worked, because Khushi was so similar to her bhaijaan too, for no matter how much he had hurt her, or she had hurt him,when the time had come and he was about to hit the ground,she had broken his fall,and caught him just in time,always but this time around she had hit the ground herself in process,and he hadn't been able to save her from her fall, could he tell him that he knew so because he had learnt a lot about love from his sibling,ofcourse not, not now, maybe one day he could, so he said instead - "well because like i said, its love, there are so many different shades to it, and i dont have any right to speak in between two people who have probably brutally and insanely hurt each other only because, its so obvious that these two people also happen to be insanely in love with each other...whats happened is unfortunate, but a temporary setback Asad, I'm sure...shell come around, give her time....and of course also I'm able to say this with so much conviction, because iv known you Asad...and i also happen to know my sister, very well...so i know that patience is also the only thing you need right now..."

Asad nodded,and he kept a hand on his shoulder,as he said honestly looking at him, giving him a small smile - " did I tell you yet? it really is good to have you back Arnav..."

Arnav gave him a small smile,as he said - " really good to have you back Asad, i don't usually believe in drama, but yes, id like to take this moment to tell you, that I missed having my best friend around....i almost hated myself a lot of times too, for forcing you into seeing the recording...and for that...Id like to apologise...."

Asad - " the past is done and dusted with Arnav, its better it stays there back in time, where it belongs....and yes i dont usually believe in drama too, but id like you to know, that i missed having you around......"

Anjali had stepped out the door, and she had been standing there, listening to the two long best friends talk heart to heart, for the last five minutes,and she wiped her tears as she smiled and walked up to them as she said - " but you know, i love drama, so id like the two of you to hug each other right now...cmon....what are you waiting for...."

Asad gave her a small smile,and he looked at Arnav, and Arnav said - "di you know her she will continue to stand here on our heads....",and Asad could only smile back,at that light hearted moment, as he pulled in his long lost best friend, who had always been no less than a brother to him, into a hug, and just like that in a moment of time, the two friends stood in front of each other, just like the good old times, with the past forgotten and buried behind them.

Anjali smiled,at that sight, and she took a deep breathe as she thanked the God's again.

For she knew, today was a new day.

A New beginning - For The Sun had finally Risen again.

......................

TEN DAYS LATER

Barkat

(Khan Mansion) - 9.00 AM

Zoya heard Ammi's voice from the stairs - " Zoya, Asad...come down quickly, breakfast is ready....hurry up...we have to leave...."

Zoya spoke - " yes ammi, ill be there...."

And she heard Asad's voice from his room - " be there in 5 mins ammi..."

Zoya looked at her reflection in the mirror as she sat on the stool in Khushi's dressing.

It had been ten days, since that day.

And it had been three days, since she had been discharged from the hospital, and the only reason why she had come back here with Asad was because the situation demanded it.

Khushi was still on Life support, and even though her pulse was now stable since a last couple of days, her blood pressure was still erratic, due to which they hadn't yet felt confident about removing the life support.

But there was improvement,and infact the day she had been discharged, her mother had too been discharged, and it was on that very day Khushi had been shifted out from the CCU into the ICU,because DR Arvind felt that she was out of critical danger, but they hadn't removed the life support because they wanted to be cautious,and infact all her vitals had now been stable expect for her blood pressure, and the reason why they hadn't removed the ventilator was that everytime they had tried too, Khushi's breathes had fasten which meant that Khushi was still having trouble breathing on her own.

But Dr Arvind had hope, that her body was healing for sure, and it really was only a matter a time until Khushi would be able to breathe on her own,and that was what was the issue of concern , for they didn't know how much more time.

And thats why she had told Asad that she would keep silent about the annulment until Khushi was fine, and live under the same roof, until Khushi was back, because ammi,ofcourse was too worried, and thats why she had decided that for her sake, she would put up with the act.

No, she hadn't changed her decision, ofcourse, and she had been successful in avoiding any sort of face to face conversation with Asad, expect for the act in front of Ammi and her family in the hospital.

She had also learnt from Di, the real truth about what had happened at the farmhouse, that how Khushi had taken the shot that was meant for her brother, in order to save him, she had shielded him, and she knew that her brother was having a hard time, infact the last ten days had been no less than a hell for him, because to see Khushi like that, all silent and fragile and on life support, had butchered her being, she could only imagine what her brother was going through, and also to add to that, he couldn't even express his emotions openly, he was on constant guard with Asad around, and infact, she herself and Anjali di, had helped him in some way always, almost everyday until she was in the hospital to sneak in and see Khushi, but she knew, he was trying to hold in and be very strong, but with each and every passing day, his strength was running out.

The positive thing, right now was that Arnav and Asad had gone back to being the best friends they used to be, and their families stood united,as one.

It was strange, so so strange, because she had longed for this moment back in time, but she shrugged, for today in present nothing was the same, in between her and Asad.

She wasn't the old Zoya anymore.

Ofcourse, she was doing well,in acting out all normal and strong in front of the rest, but on the inside, she still felt all lost,because she didn't know how to start picking up the pieces of the broken her.

She brushed her hair quickly,and she picked up her crutch,as she adjusted it under her left armpit, and started to walk,it had taken a couple of days to get herself adjusted to this new way of movement in Life, but now she was used to it.She couldn't really feel her left foot completely even if she put it on the ground, and could only move it a little,thankfully it was enough to get the movement smooth with her crutch.Her never had been damaged to a significant extent, and she was on medication to stregthen the muscles around it, but she knew the only way she could ever get complete movement back would be with intense physiotherapy,and she had to work very hard, and fight her body greatly, because for the last two sessions, she had been barely been able to lift her left leg,and it had fallen back down on the bed, and she had felt so helpless.She took a deep breathe, the road ahead was surely not going to be easy.

And she started walking, while adjusting her crutch in her movement , right when she saw the door open and she saw Asad standing as he said - "you ready??"

Zoya nodded ,and she walked a little ahead as she said - "and like i said before, you can go down without me...i didn't ask you to wait up..."

Asad sighed as he said - "Zoya,cmon...its better this way, for Ammi's sake...."

Zoya nodded as she said - " whatever, for ammi's sake, thats why i am here, i hope you havent got any false hopes,for iv made myself perfectly clear...."

Asad looked at her and he said - "absolutely, I know whats this about, you are only here because the situation demands, and once Khushi is fine...you will...", and he stopped, because he couldn't get himself to say it.

Zoya finished the sentence for him - "leave...yes, and everyone will know about the annulment...."

Asad looked at her as he asked - " its sad that its come to this, wont you ever talk to me again??like ever?? seriously?? you'v been avoiding me ever since our conversation at the hospital...Zoya...everytime iv tried to talk to you...you go all silent on me...."

Zoya looked at him as she said walking out - " because like i said, theres nothing else that i can say to you...we'd just be wasting each others time..."

Asad walked slowly to match his steps to her as he said - "but i do have a lot to say to you...Zoya..."

Zoya stopped as she turned to him a she said - " please...don't...dont do this to me...please...i cant take it right now...i can't...please just leave me alone...."

Asad looked at her eyes, and tears were about to fall of them and he nodded as he said curtly - " fine...ill leave you alone, but dont cry...please...."


Zoya controlled her tears as she said starting to get down the stairs holding the railing with the other hand, and her crutch with the other - " its not for you...iv decided long back that i wouldn't shed a tear for you ever again...."

Asad flinched,but he walked a step down the stair as he asked changing the topic - " why did you have to take Khushi's room, not the room down...I know its difficult to manage these stairs...."

Zoya looked at him as she said helping herself down,and right then she saw him take out his hand to help her, and she gestured him to stop as she said - " I can manage, thanks...and i took Khushi's room, because i want to face this difficulty,only a small symbol of how Life is going to be from now on....",and with that she left him standing in the middle of the stairs.

Asad stood to his position for a second,as he asked himself to be patient,and to be strong, and he felt his heart remind him that each night for the past ten days he had been doing that, putting his head back to his pillow and telling himself that he was strong, because he had successfully gone through, one more day without Zoya.

He sighed, for he didn't know for how long he'd have to be doing the same, and right then he heard his ammi's voice calling out to him, and he made his way down,looking at his watch Zoya had her physiotherapy session at the hospital itself,and ammi,would be going to the hospital for Khushi, and he had a meeting at work, that he couldn't avoid, so hed be going to work , before he could head himself to the hospital, in the hope that Khushi would finally be able to breathe on her own, and that she wouldn't be needing the life support or the medically induced sedation they had been putting her through for the last ten days now.

...........................

Germany - 8 AM

Arhaan sat back, in the chair of his studio, and sipped his coffee.

And he closed his eyes for a brief moment, and it was right then that face, that face came back to revolve in front of his eyes.

Khushi's face.

He knew, that it was over.

Yet, he couldn't control the thoughts that were crossing his heart at that time.

In his mind he had decided to never think of her again,but had he succeeded,ofcourse not.

For every second for the last ten days, his heart had come up with some excuse to think of Khushi.

And right then he also remembered, that Khushi loved Arnav, and he had seen it in his eyes as he had shielded Khushi from his uncles shot,he loved her too.

He fought a tear, as he smiled,he was happy that Khushi was happy out there, and probably Arnav and Khushi were now together,and he knew he could live with that, knowing that Khushi was happy,he could finally move on from it all.

And right then his phone rang, and he saw a India no and he picked it up confused,and he said - " Hey.."

He heard a voice on the other end - " hi farhaan, this is Rocky, i was trying to call your uncle but his phone is off, i just wanted to tell him, that iv disposed the gun that hed left in the car..id picked up at the airport..."

Arhaan said - " you mean the gun i handed to you, when you met me while picking up the car me and khala came in..."

Rocky - " No farhaan, i mean the car your uncle came in..."

Arhaan was now confused,for he had taken the gun from him at the farmhouse.

Arhaan asked - " there was a gun in the car he came in??"

Rocky - " yes, anyway, will you pass on the message, and please contact me if you need any help once you are in Delhi...", and he hung up.

Arhaan quickly walked out his studio and made his way up to his uncles apartment and he rang the bell,and right then he saw his khala,open the door and he asked - " where is he??"

Afreen looked at Arhaan - " who?? your uncle??"

Arhann nodded - "hes sleeping....",she answered

Arhaan walked as fast as he could, and threw open the door to his uncles room as he asked,seeing him wake up in bed - " you had another gun with you???? in the car you came in?? you had another gun with you????"

Mehmet woke up and he rubbed his eyes and he looked at his nephew - "relax, why are you getting so worked up first thing in the morning....yeah i had a gun...so what....",and he got up off the bed as he asked - " please dont tell me you are still whining over that girl....that stupid girl....shes the most idiotic person iv ever come across really, good riddance....anyway...", he said looking at his wife - "id like my tea , please....."

But Arhaan walked upto him, as he asked - " good riddance?? what do you mean??? what did you do?? what aren't you telling me??"

Mehmet sipped his water as he said - " well, i guess theres no harm now, she'd probably be dead by now...."

Arhaan felt his insides freeze,as he asked , his voice now was shaking with fury- " who would be dead?? what do you mean?? what the hell did you do???..."

Mehmet sneered - " that girl you love, Khushi, well honestly speaking i didn't want to shoot her, i aimed at the Raizada, but no, she had to save him,i guess she always loved, so she shielded him ,and took the shot herself...and i had to escape, but i did see that fountain of blood as she fainted in his arms,im sure she wouldn't have made it....."

Arhaan felt fury rule him,as he on reflex, held his uncles collar as he pulled him harshly - " you what?????? you shot Khushi?????? and why didn't you tell me any of this before??????"

Mehmet freed himself out of his grip and he replied in fury - " why would i ?? so that you'd probably never board the plane, you have lost your mind in your love...open your eyes...", and he walked up to him as he threatened - "and dont you ever dare to get physical with me, ever again...."

Afreen walked just right in as she stood in between them as she said - " whats wrong with you two??get off each other...",and she looked at Arhaan who stood glaring at her husband as she said - "Arhaan, forget it, forget her, get over it, compose yourself, we are a family...."

Arhaan looked at his aunt and without saying another word,he walked back to his studio in shock,Khushi had been shot.

He had to know, he had find out how she was.

But how was he going to find out??

He had no way.

He brushed a hand through his hair in distress, as his mind worked up, for there had to be a way he could find out about Khushi for sure.

..............................

India

At The Hospital - Noon

Dilshaad sat outside the ICU, and right then she spotted Kkusum walk in with Anjali, and they walked upto her,and she got up and hugged them both as Kkusum asked - " hows Khushi?? what do the doctors say??"

Dilshaad - "the same..."

Anjali patted her shoulder - " but she's atlas out of the CCU, which is a good sign..."

Dilshhad smiled,as Kkusm sat next to her and Anjali sat on the other side - " yes, ofcourse....and you just missed Zoya, she was here for the break, she just left for her physiotherapy session again, shell be back in a while, i guess...and Asad had work, he will come in a while too..."

And right then Dilshad's phone rang and she saw the name flashing on the screen and she picked up - " yes Farida....how are you???", and the minute she heard what she had to say, Dilshaad felt fury, but she composed herself as she covered - " yes Khushi is in the hospital, like i told you she's been in an accident....no...no...nothing like that, she wasn't kidnapped or anything...no..he isn't here...we broke the engagement, no i cant tell you what happened for i dont know myself, its between the kids...i believe in standing with what my children want...yes..thank you so much for your concern...",and she hung up.

Right then Anjali saw her brother enter, he had got a call just as they were about to enter..and so she and her mother had come in first, and he came in and stood right when she heard her mother ask - " what happened Dilshaad?who was it on the phone??"

Dilshaad sighed as she flung her phone in her bag - " the cousin of my neighbour, Farida, just another one of those calls, iv been getting so many of them for almost a week now, and I'm tired of explaining over and over again, that we broke the very public engagement between Arhaan and Khushi...", and she paused, as she drank a sip of water from her bottle - "and I know why they are calling , because all they want to know is why it happened, and how come Khushi was in a accident, my daughter is fighting for her life, and all this damm society cares about is gossip, i know thats what they are looking for, some dirt to gossip about my daughter....",and she wiped her tears.

Arnav flinched, all he wanted to do was punch the damm wall,and he heard his mother say - " dilshaad, calm down, relax. you need to relax....cmon...lets get you something to eat..."

Dilshadd looked at her friend - "shouldnt you be resting at home?? you just recovered Kkusum...."

Kkusum hugged Dilshaad - "oh cmon, iv been lying down for a decade now, trust me i dont need rest, i need to move around...come ill take you to the cafe upstairs...have some tea...you need to eat...dont worry, Anjali is here..."

Arnav fought his emotion as he said - " ill call you both, if theres anything...."

Kkusum looked at her son as she said - " stay here Chotte,with your sister...until im back..."

Arnav nodded,and he watched his mother and Dilshaad aunty leave.

And it was only when he was alone with his sister, he punched his fist on the wall in distress - " i dont freaking understand this damm society, khushi is fighting for her life, and instead of consoling a mother, people are calling to dig in for gossip....what kind of nonsense is this di...."

Anjali touched his hand as she stopped him from banging his fist in the wall again as she brushed his knuckles tenderly - " chotte, thats just how it is, people talk...but we shouldn't care...."

Arnav looked at her as he asked - " how can i not care when its about Khushi, i can only wonder what they will do once she is up and about, everyone who was there at her engagement ,is going to be hurling questions down at her in some way or the other everytime,they see her...how much more nonsense does she have to face di...this is just bullshit...fucking bullshit..."

Anjali looked at him, there was no point in saying anything further , because this was something she never understood herself, so how could she explain to her brother but she asked - " are you ok Chotte??"

Arnav sighed as he leaned back and he said - " trying to be di, trying to be strong, but my strength is running out, its been ten days and it feels like a eternity of misery and pain and i can't keep up with this long, i need Khushi to wake up...i need to hear her say my name...and i never thought i would be praying every second of my life...but you know iv been doing just that, and I am also going to that temple near our house, every morning after my run, only to pray for her, your God is listening, isn't he di?? there is someone out there listening to my prayers isn't there di??"

Anjali kept a hand on his - " ofcourse, she is better Chotte, she's out of the CCU at least...now cmon, lets get you sneaked in, don't you want to see her..."

Arnav nodded,and he got up,as his sister spoke to the Nurse,atleast the good thing,about the ICU was, that one could get to sit for atlas a few minutes with the patient.

Anjali walked back as she said - " cmon, go in...and I'm just going to see Zoya and how her session is going, in the meantime if Asad comes, tell him that I asked you to sit with Khushi while i was seeing Zoya..."

Arnav nodded,and he took a deep breathe and walked in.

......................

Ten Days.

It had been ten days since Khushi was shot, in his arms.

Ten Nights, since he hadn't been able to get any sleep.

Ten Days since he had last felt peace.

Ten Days since he had last felt himself breathe properly.

He had been walking into this area for the last ten days,first into the CCU, and now into the ICU, with the help of his sister's,he had been able to see Khushi everyday.

But Khushi was silent.

Everyday, he had only been getting these couple of minutes, to express what he really was feeling, that he was dying inside, because outside to the world, he had to pretend, he had an act to keep up.

He didn't even know, if she could hear him, because he knew she was under induced sedation.

But he couldn't stop himself from talking to her,because those minutes were the only ones in which he could bare his heart out to the woman he loved, in the hope that she would finally wake up, and smile again, and make his world a wonderful place, all over again rather than it being the hell it was right now.

Her memories, were keeping him company and he had in his mind, drowned himself into them.

Khushi, had been like that sunshine of his life,and now that she was all silent on him, he had never felt the darkness more.

The only thing that kept him going were, faith and hope and her memories.The pain that he had been feeling was surpassing every limit everyday and he knew he was running out of strength, the only thing that he held on to was that in the few hours sleep that would come due to exhaustion,he would dream of her.

He took a deep breathe, no he couldn't fall weak, he had to be strong, he had to have faith, and he had to beleive, that Khushi could be better any moment.

He Had to have Hope, that , the any moment could be Now.

He brushed both his hands over his face, as he reached her,and walked silently and sat on the chair, and pulled it further, so that he was next to her bed,and he held her fragile hand, and brushed it tenderly,and kissed it,behind the IV,and he laced his fingers through her's as he said softly - " Hi Khushi...."

He knew, of course he was not going to get a reply back.

He spoke, controlling his emotions - " ten days Khushi, you know what honestly let me tell you a little secret, when i first met you,all those months ago, i would always wonder, what would it take, i mean how would you react if I asked you to keep shut and not talk, and then i would laugh it all of in my head thinking, that you wouldn't even be able to keep quiet for even a minute, infact there were times, when you dozed off in my arms back in London,when i would actually talk to you when you were asleep, i always thought it was easier that time, because you were making me feel so many things that i was in no control off, but Khushi, honestly you surprised me this time around, its been ten days,and you havent spoken a word, i know they'v been sedating you and stuff, but still...", he paused,as he rubbed her fingers softly - " its strange Khushi, isn't it?? this thing in between us, yes to say to the world we havent even been together in the literal sense for months now, so is it just supposed to be assumed that theres no love, of course not, for there is love,this intense,crazy emotion, if its not love then what is it?? although,i dont know what kind of love this is, i honestly dont have any name for it, what can i really call the love, in which we gone through what we have, I didn't know i had it me to let you go, but somewhere for your happiness i did, and then you despite all the pain i caused you, in the fraction of a moment, you didn't even think for a second, before taking the shot that was meant for me...and i have no idea what to really term this as, but I love you Khushi, with all that I have, just get better, i promise, ill do what you want, if you want me to be out of your life, I swear i will never show you my face ever again, for iv only always caused you pain, infact right now, you are in this situation because off me, because i let you down, once again, you trusted me to keep you safe, i know you did, i felt it when you flung yourself in my arms, and I couldn't...Khushi just please be fine, thats all i really want for now,pleaseee Khushi...I cant see you like this, its killing everything inside of me....",and he paused,as he wiped a tear out of his eye,and he kissed her hand softly as he said - " you have no idea how Zoya and di have been helping me see you out here, Khushi, for every single day, iv been sneaking in to see you when no one is watching,what have you done to me Khushi...now stop this idiotic stunt of silence you'v been playing at all of us for the last ten days, cmon Khushi...you can breathe without this damm machine....you can recover or is it that you'd rather want to torture me more, are you enjoying my misery so much now huh?? tell me??.."

The Nurse, smiled as she withdrew the curtains around,and walked towards Khushi,and she saw that the man had straightened in his seat, but he hadn't left the patients hand, coincidentally she had the duty this time around of the day, and she had seen this person here everyday, although she hadn't heard him say anything, but she could guess by that emotion on his face what this was about, and she said, injecting the injection in Khushi's IV - " you must leave now..."

Arnav nodded and he started to get up,as he took his hand off Khushi's slowly and he heard the nurse ask - " you really love her , dont you??"

Arnav looked at her shocked,but he nodded - " yeah...i didn't know it was that obvious...i mean by my face..."

The Nurse gave him a small smile - " well it is, probably because the only place,you can really let it loose and talk...iv seen you with her family outside, i figured that you all are close, but i guess they dont really know, right?? her family??"

Arnav nodded - " yeah, its complicated...anyway, thank you...its kind of you to let me have these few minutes out here for every day of the last week..."

The Nurse gave him a small smile as she said - "you'r welcome, anything for Love...and dont worry, she is improving, its only a matter of time..."

Arnav nodded as he looked at khushi as he said - " i know..."

.......

Zoya walked with her sister towards the ICU waiting area, and she said - " its good that Maa took ammi,for a break....she needs it...and di I'm glad you also came and rescued me from the session mid way, i couldn't go on longer today....i want to...but this damm leg wouldn't just support me, it has a mind of its own right now"

Anjali smiled at her as she said - " relax Zoya...its alright, take it easy, small steps at a time..."

Zoya nodded as she sat on the chair and kept her crutch aside,and she sighed - "and yet a long way to go ahead di..."

Anjali looked at her for a brief second and then she asked - " when are you going to talk to me??"

Zoya - "about what??"

Anjali - "about the annulment...about the situation between you and Asad"

Zoya looked at her shocked and she felt her eyes widen as she asked - " you know???? how????"

Anjali sighed - " Asad...he told your jiju first,and then of course Chotte too..."

Zoya was now shocked - "whattt????? jiju knows??? bhai knows????"

Anjali nodded - " Asad doesn't shy away from admitting his mistakes, or rather in this case a blunder, he admits that he was wrong, so wrong....feels in his heart that he should have looked within and found that light of forgiveness...but Zoya, i know its filed and everything...but do you really not have it in your heart to forgive him???"

Zoya wanted to tell the truth to her, but she knew her sister, she would probably go to playing cupid, and she didn't want that right now so she just said looking ahead - "di...some stains always remain, infact the harder you try to rub them off, the more visible they get...he didn't want me in his life then, then why now...I dont want sympathy di, im doing just fine di...on my own, infact the minute Khushi is better...and is back home, ill leave and then im going to find a place of my own..."

Anjali looked at her in shock as she asked - " you aren't going to come home??? what the hell??"

Zoya looked ahead - "how can i?? and with what face?? i walked out...and how am i going to...",and she paused,for she didn't know how to continue,and she felt her sisters hand on her head - " its your home Zoya, we are family...we are always there for you, i know what all has happened, its a lot, you need time, its ok, i understand, take your time, but i will not allow this nonsense, you will come home...if not for anyones sake, then for Maa, you know she wont allow anything else...and nor would I, or Chotte..."

Right then they spotted Arnav come out of the ICU, and Zoya asked her sister to hush and she gave her brother a smile as she walked up to him and asked - " hows she?? i know, i mean, i was with her in the morning....but still..tell me did you ask the nurse about her blood pressure??"

Arnav looked at Zoya and he said - "no, but she said, she's improving...."

Zoya - " you didn't ask??"

Arnav - " no..."

Zoya looked at him,and she touched his arm as she asked softly - " do you not ask because you fear that you will hear something which isn't good...and then you probably wouldn't know how to deal with it...."

Anjali walked up to her siblings and she said softly - " we know him well Zoya...."

Arnav looked at his sisters, they did know him well, and he change the topic as he asked - "Zoya, how was your session??"

Zoya limped her way back with her crutch and sat on the chair, as she said looking at her brother and sister - " the same...still not able to pick it up..."

Arnav looked at her and he said brushing her hair - " its ok..Zoya...itll take some time..."

And right then they spotted Asad enter through the door, and Zoya stiffened,and she saw Asad walk up to them as he greeted both Arnav and Anjali and then he looked at her as he asked - " how was your session??"

Zoya knew that her siblings were watching, so she just gave him a brief nod, as she said - " it was ok, thanks, Mr.Khan.."

Asad sighed, and he didn't know what could he say in front of Arnav and Anjali and right then the nurse came out of the door as she said - " Mr.Khan...i need you to see these papers, just a few more formalities, thats all, but i need your signature...."

Asad looked at everyone and he said - " ill just be back....",and then he walked ahead with the nurse.

Zoya looked at his back for a few seconds, and she felt that longing return,and the emotion it started to well up inside of her, welled up tears in her eyes and she looked away as she looked at her siblings as she said - " you did say, that both Maa and ammi,are in the cafe upstairs??ill just go too..im hungry....",and she got up,and made her way out.

Anjali looked at Arnav as he watched Zoya leave, and he asked - " did you catch that longing on her face??"

Anjali nodded - "ofcourse, i dont know when will she come around though....shes going to leave Barkat once Khushi is better..."

Arnav nodded - " i could sense it, i mean, i know she's going to do that..."

Anjali - "how??"

Arnav - " she is a lot like me di...and thats why i know, she wont understand no matter how much we try, only time can teach her, thats just how our thick obnoxious brain functions, i guess..."

Anjali - "she mentioned about getting a place of her own..."

Arnav - "bullshit, she will come home...ill convince her, ill use Maa's name if I have too..."

Anjali nodded - " i did just that, you know used maa's name..."

Arnav nodded - "good, she loves Asad so much, she's dying for him, but she's going to be stubborn about it, she wont admit that she needs him...and especially this thing with her leg and her route to recovery she wants to fight alone....I guess...she doesn't know how long it will take...."

Anjali - "i dont know if its right or wrong, yet...i cant understand..."

Arnav - "can only wish that it isn't long before she learns it..."

Anjali - "learns what??"

Arnav sighed as he said - "the lesson that i learnt in the hardest way possible...that the cost of not following your heart is spending a long long time wishing that you had...."

Anjali looked at her brother, and his taut face, it was indeed true, he had learnt this lesson in the hardest way possible, she was about to say something, but she stopped, because she spotted Asad walking towards them.

........................

Meanwhile Simultaneously

( As Soon As Arnav had Left the ICU )

Khushi was sure, she had heard his voice.

She didn't know, why,for what felt like eternity now,every time she was starting to get conscious, within a few minutes she would feel drowsy again,as if she was being sedated.

But this time around, as she had started to gain consciousness, she was sure, she was sure, she had heard his voice.

And she was sure, she had felt his hand, over hers.

She had tried to move her fingers wanting to hold his hand, but the rest of her body was probably still sedated.

But her mind wasn't,she knew it could probably take a few more minutes until her body would be able to react to being conscious, that was if she wasn't sedated again.

That voice.

She tried to focus, as she recalled what she had heard.

" its strange Khushi, isn't it?? this thing in between us, yes to say to the world we havent even been together in the literal sense for months now, so is it just supposed to be assumed that theres no love, of course not, for there is love,this intense,crazy emotion, if its not love then what is it?? although,i dont know what kind of love this is, i honestly dont have any name for it, what can i really call the love, in which we gone through what we have"

And then the emotion, that she felt, as a million thoughts crossed her heart, ofcourse, she could agree with him, she had no idea, what to call this kind of love, could there really be a name for this string of emotion in between of them.

She focused again,to recall what shed heard.

"I didn't know i had it me to let you go, but somewhere for your happiness i did, and then you despite all the pain i caused you, in the fraction of a moment, you didn't even think for a second, before taking the shot that was meant for me...and i have no idea what to really term this as, but I love you Khushi, with all that I have..."

She honestly hadn't known that he had, had it him to let her go like he had, and then the guilt she had felt when she had seen him so broken at her engagement, came back to her mind, and the emotion she had felt that soul shattering ripping emotion she had felt herself too, came back to her.

And then also everything that happened after flooded back in her mind, the truth, her kidnapping, her confrontation with Arhaan,and then whatever happened at the farmhouse,as to how Arnav had tried to shield her from the earlier shot.

And she had known in that one moment as she had seen Mehmet aim at his back, that she could never let anything happen to him, for she'd die herself, if any danger came his way, and she had acted on reflex and turned him around with so much force, and then she had been hit.She remembered falling into his arms, and mustering his name, before it all went blank.

His voice flooded through her mind again.

"just get better, i promise, ill do what you want, if you want me to be out of your life, I swear i will never show you my face ever again, for iv only always caused you pain, infact right now, you are in this situation because off me, because i let you down, once again, you trusted me to keep you safe, i know you did, i felt it when you flung yourself in my arms, and I couldn't...Khushi just please be fine, thats all i really want for now,pleaseee Khushi...I cant see you like this, its killing everything inside of me...."

She could feel that pain and that anguish in his voice.

"what have you done to me Khushi...now stop this idiotic stunt of silence you'v been playing at all of us for the last ten days, cmon Khushi...you can breathe without this damm machine....you can recover or is it that you'd rather want to torture me more, are you enjoying my misery so much now huh?? tell me??.."

And she had wanted to answer back, and then she had also heard his conversation with the Nurse.

And then she had heard footsteps,probably she was alone now.

She tried to focus, again and again,as she instructed herself that she had to fight this out.

And right there, various voices flooded through her head, which she must have registered in her head between consciousness and sedation, over the past couple of days,she hadn't been able to recall before, because she had been immediately sedated back.

A voice of her mother, a weeping voice of her mother, which said - " Khushi, my baby, please....please...dont do this to me...please come back....please be fine...."

A choked and broken voice of her brother - " Khushi...i cannot even begin to tell you the terror that i felt when i carried you in my arms to the hospital here...god punished me once like this before, and i lost Najma...i cant loose you...i can't...Khushi, my baby sister...please....you are a fighter, fight this damm machine....please....breathe Khushi...breathe...."

A composed voice of Zoya - " Khushi, wake up yaa..we have so much to talk...whats with all this silence huh?? now cmon I cant let you be like this, you are not allowed to keep silent when I'm talking remember?? you promised.youd never go silent on me...",and then her tearful voice - "Khushi...please....pleaseee...i beg you...you can hear me right???"

And then another composed voice of Anjali di - " Khushi...i haven't known you long, but from what I do know, is that you are a fighter in spirit, you can't loose yourself to this, you just can't...fight this out and come back...and you will see that everything has changed....the worse is over...and the sun has finally risen again, on all of us...now you just have to wake up, so that it can begin to shine with all its might..."

She felt overwhelmed, very overwhelmed, as these voices continued to flood through her mind,and she knew she had to fight this out.

She heard a lot of more versions of all these voices,go through her head over and over again.

And she felt her mind pause at his voice for a second as she registered it again - " if anything were to happen to you Khushi, id die...for I cant exist in the world you aren't there, it feels like i havent taken a breathe in ,for over a week...I love you Khushi....if anything were to happen to you, id die...Khushi...id die...."

And she now felt determined as she took God's name, and instructed her body to fight this out.

.....................

The Nurse walked back in the ICU, right when Dr Arvind walked in through the doors as he asked - "hows the blood pressure??"

The Nurse said - "improved since yesterday, but i need to check again, i went to get the papers signed from her brother..ill just read and tell you doctor..."

Dr Arvind nodded and he walked with the Nurse, towards Khushi...and he asked - " Hi Khushi..how are we today??"

And he saw her pulse go up to 70 at that in the monitor,and he asked the Nurse - " ask them to call Dr Bhatia in now....has her pulse crossed 65 all morning??"

The Nurse - "no sir....it was 64 before i left",and she looked at the monitor - "its 72 now Sir..."

Dr Arvind - " the blood pressure....?"

The Nurse - "80/120....its normal sir...."

Dr Arvind felt relieved as he started to check Khushi,and then he checked her eyes - " looks like she's conscious, lets not sedate her yet....let's see how long her bp is stable for...if its like that for a few minutes...well try to check her breathing...by removing the Life support...but keep the oxygen mask handy....did you call for Dr Bhatia yet??"

The Nurse - " Ill just ask them at the station to call him....."

Dr Arvind Nodded.

The Nurse walked out hurriedly as she went to the station as she said - " Call Dr Bhatia...for the patient at Bay 7,call him in now...its urgent....Dr Arvind is waiting...."

Asad looked at the commotion at the station, and Arnav recognised the Nurse,she was Khushi's attende, and infact she was the one who had just spoken to him inside, and they heard Anjali say - "Bay 7..isnt that Khushi???"

Asad nodded,and he had walked ahead at the speed of light,and Arnav was right behind, just as he asked - "bay 7, thats my sister....what happened??? is everything allright...."

The Nurse was about to walk back in, but she turned as she said - "ill probably be fired for this, for I'm not supposed to reveal much, but for the first time ten days her pulse has reached to a normal 72,and her blood pressure is also normal and Dr Arvind is calling Dr Bhatia in, so that we can see if she can breathe on her own,without life support, he heads that department you see....looks like all your prayers have been answered....",and she looked at Arnav briefly as she nodded at him,and he nodded back briefly and they heard her say - "now if you'll excuse me...."

.................

40 Minutes Later

Dr Arvind shook hands with Dr Bhatia as he said - " thank you Dr..."

Dr Bhatia - "anytime, looks like your patient wouldn't need our support any longer....her vitals are stable...and she's breathing just fine on her own, but id still advise you to keep the oxygen mask on for an hour or so, will give her additional help...she should be just fine now...."

Dr Arvind looked at the man, who was also a friend and he said - "everytime, a patient recovers from life support, it really is overwhelming isn't it??"

Dr Bhatia nodded as he smiled - " ofcourse, for we dont see it often...always takes a miracle...thats why i believe that theres always something beyond medicine after all , although our profession by default trains us to believe in the logic of medical science, id still like to believe in faith..."

Dr Arvind nodded - " because it has the power to make miracles...yes ofcourse..."

Dr Bhaitia nodded as he said - " now if you'll excuse me Roy, i have to check in on the patient on Bay 10..ill see you this evening over dinner though...and we wont be late or else Aarti would kill me"

Dr Arvind gave him a smile as he said - " ofcourse...see you..."

He turned to the Nurse,as he said - "keep the IV on still...shes out of danger and stable but still very weak...."

The Nurse nodded,as she joined the team of junior doctors,as they started to follow the instructions that their head had just left them with.

Dr Arvind walked out the ICU, he had a very important news to give to the family and friends of Khushi Ahemed Khan.

............

Kkusum held on to Dilshaa'd shoulder and Anjali held on to her hand,as Zoya went to the Nurse's station and she asked anxiously - " they'v been in for so so long, can any of you tell us whats happening...."

They had received Anjali's call immediately as soon as they had gotten to know that they were now going to try taking Khushi off the life support.

Arnav stood next to Asad and he said - " no point, they won't talk..."

Asad nodded as he said - " exactly, they aren't supposed too..."

Zoya looked at the two,and she didn't know how her brother was managing to mask his turmoil, hed become really strong,and she looked at Asad as she said - " but the other Nurse did talk right...so I'm just trying..."

Asad put a hand on Zoya's shoulder as he said - " relax...."

Zoya nodded and she kept her hand over his for a second,due to the anxiety and the vulnerability of the moment,and their eyes locked for a few seconds,as she felt that similar intense electric emotion exchange with Asad, and she immediately took her hand away as she shifted a little back,and right then they saw Dr Arvind come out the doors,and she asked in a instant just as on time with Asad - " Khushi.....how's she????"

Dr Arvind gave them a small smile,as he saw everyone gather in front of him and he looked at her mother, who looked at him with so much Hope as Kkusum Raizada and Anjali held on to her,and Arnav stood right next to Asad and Zoya, and he took a deep breathe as he said - "so the good news is that she's off Life support, she's completely out of any danger and all her vitals are now stable,and she's able to breathe on her own but yes because she's still very weak, we'd like to assist her with oxygen mask for an hour or so..."

He saw everyone take a sigh of relief and he heard Asad ask - " my sister....shes conscious...can i see her???"

Dr Arvind nodded - "ofcourse you can, but not yet, give us a while, an hour or so, she's awake and conscious, but like i said still quite weak, i dont want her to over exert herself....my team is in there right now, taking care of a few things, but after a while, you will be able to see her..."

Zoya leaned back in relief on the Nurse station, for support, as held onto her crutch with her hand,and then she walked across and hugged ammi,and then her mother as she said - " i told you...shes a fighter...Khushi....she is my best friend after all....."

Kkusum and Dilshaad hugged Zoya,as they all felt relief like they had never felt before.

Zoya saw Asad standing in the position he was in, he was probably in shock out of happiness,just like her brother was, and he had retreated to a corner and anjali di was with him, she walked to Asad as she put on a hand on his shoulder as she shook him - "Asad???"

Asad was startled as he looked at Zoya, and she said - " its happening, for real....Khushi is ok....shes going to be absolutely ok...very soon....."

Asad looked at her, and then at her hand on his shoulder, he had gone into a temporary shock due to relief and happiness, for he was fearing the worse that hed have to probably wait months or years until he could hear this news, and now that he had heard it, he couldn't get himself to react,but out of emotion,that his sister was now absolutely fine and out of danger, and also the moment that Zoya was in front of him,and she had put everything aside, and was probably trying to reach out and comfort him, just like she had stood silently by his side,even though everything in between of them was over,he could sense that it was, but still, she had stood by him,she had also come to his house, also because she probably knew that her presence would give him the support he needed,and he didn't know what came over him,as he pulled her into a crushing hug,for he didn't have any words to say in that one moment.

Zoya fought her own emotions,in that moment as she felt his arms go around her, but she went with her gut instead of her mind,as she hugged him back,as tears of relief fell off her eyes, for they both shared that intense love for Khushi.

Anjali looked at Arnav as she asked him softly - " there you go being a statue again...shes fine...out of danger....didnt you hear...now cmon smile....Khushi is fine....your khushi....smile Chotte....why aren't you reacting..."

Arnav looked at her as he said with sure the overwhelming emotion was in his voice - "for i cant believe that the sun has finally risen again di....im too scared...what if i react and i wake up and this all ends up being a dream...."

Anjali felt a emotion like she never felt over,and she saw Zoya hug Asad,and her mother was busy with Dilshaad,and she finally pulled her brother into a hug as she said - "yes the sun hasn't just risen again....it has started to shine with all its might...the worse is over Chotte....it really is over....."

Arnav felt relief wash over every cell of his body,he felt the emotion that he hadn't felt is over ten days now, he felt like he could breathe again, and he took a deep breathe as the realisation dawned on him that his Khushi was now fine...and he hugged his sister as he said - " I promise you, id never doubt the existence of your God ever again, di..."

Anjali pulled back as she gave him a cheeky smile,as she teased - "does that mean that you will come with me to the temple everyday now??"

Arnav looked at her as he did something he had thought he could never do, he gave her a heartfelt smile as he said - "not everyday di, don't push your luck....but every once in a while, maybe, yes, i would..."

............................

Fate smiled as he said - "wheres my beer, id like to toast to new beginnings..."

Destiny smiled -" id like that too...but id like white wine..pleaseee..."

Love smiled - "like i always say, its always the darkest before dawn....."

Fate handed destiny her glass as he said sipping his drink - "still worried about Zoya though..."

Destiny - "oh yes, its going to be topsy and turvy now, her ride...but would be fun to watch...Asad wouldn't fall behind when it comes to mind games you know..."

Love nodded - "its amusing to watch my own diffrent shades sometimes seriosuly, anyway like i said she will learn with time just like her brother said, that the cost of not listening to your heart, is spending a long long time wishing that you had....he learnt it in the hardest way possible...."

Fate - "can only hope, that destiny here, isn't so hard on Zoya...."

Destiny - " it all really depends on her actions really,ill try my best to be easy, but if she's going to want it the hard way, then i cant really be off much help you know....."

Hate walked right in as he asked in disdain - " whats all this celebration without me??incase you'v forgotten i am right here..."

Fate rolled his eyes as he said - " can we ever forget that you exist?? i wish...we couldn't even if we wanted too...."

Hate nodded,as he took the beer off Fates hand,and sipped it - "thats right you couldn't forget my existence even if you wanted to ,and you know why...because i won't just let you...."

.............................