Diana's POV

"How do you feel today, Diana?" Daniel asks, not staring at his notepad, but instead focusing his gaze on me.

There's something about his eyes, the way they are so bright, sharp and seems like they can literally see through you makes you want to fess up the darkest of your thoughts. But I've been in therapy with him for a long time to know how this operates.

"Okay." I shrug, picking up on the threads of my rugged jeans which has a hole in both knees.

"Let's talk about your mother today." He says, his expression dead serious but something compels me to scoff.

"Let's not."

"How do you feel about her death? It has been a month since you started coming here for regular sessions and yet you never bring her up on your own." He gives me a curious glance, almost ticking me off.

"Yeah, that's because you always bring it up yourself." I point out, but I'm not wrong.

I might have been shit faced that night a month ago when I told Aaron I want to go to therapy again but the fact is that I had been thinking about it ever since I came back from Larkspur. When I woke up crying almost every night, finding it hard to breathe, I knew I would need help, especially considering my past.

Stress and I don't cope well together.

"Agreed. So, do you miss her?" He asks, folding his hands on the desk in front of me.

I look down at them, studying them before I meet his gaze, "Do you love your wife, Dan?" I ask and he frowns.

"We're not here to discuss my love life."

I nod, "I know, but it's a simple question." I ask, my eyes set on his wedding band that he started wearing two weeks ago.

"As a matter of fact, I do." He says, touching the ring and I smile.

"As long as we're on facts, what kind of stupid question is it to ask me if I miss her. Of course I do."

He sighs frustratingly, "I forget you can be a pain in the ass sometimes." He says, making me grin with amusement.

"You better keep that in mind."

He shakes his head at me, "Tell me how you feel when you think about her."

From his tone, I can tell that he doesn't want a sarcastic remark. He wants me to be honest so I sigh, my back hitting the couch as I stare at the bookshelf behind me.

I can lie to him, but that's not what I am here for. Therapy isn't fun, it's cathartic but also emotionally exhausting, so if I'm investing my time here, I might as well do myself a favour and be honest to both my therapist and myself.

"Guilty." I tell him and he gives me a nodding gesture to continue, "She kept writing me those letters, hoping I would come around and I should have but I was so busy holding onto what my father did to me that I punished her as well. If I weren't being this stubborn, I would have spent more time with her."

He nods, "Do you blame your father in this situation?" He asks, his questions surprising me but I know the answer already.

"I forgave him." I admit for the first time out aloud, "He and I have been on good terms for couple of months now, I call him once in a while which is a change because I'm not used to that."

"Is it a good change or a bad change?" He asks.

I think about his question before a small smile takes over my face, "A good change. It's what she would have wanted."

"And is this not something you want? Are you in contact with him just because you think it would make her happy?"

His question makes me go quiet as I stare in his eyes, processing my thoughts as I grasp my hands together tightly. His rephrased questions always make me introspect but at the same time they are a harsh reminder of the loss of my mother, something that I'm still recovering from.

The thought isn't smooth enough to digest that I would never have a conversation with her.

"Diana?" He repeats my name, making me snap out of my trance as I look at him.

I take a deep breath, loosening my hands as I speak, "Honestly, I don't think I can ever move past what happened. It's a huge part of my life, it's because of that incident I turned out the way I did as did the rest of my life. But I do love my father, and I'm not talking to him just because it's something my mother would want. I talk to him because I don't want to hold onto the anger anymore."

A feeling of unburdening washes over me as I state all of that in one go. But it is the utter truth. Daniel has a smile on his face as he nods and finally writes something down in his notepad before he focuses his attention back at me.

"How do you feel about Emily spending last weekend with Nathaniel?" He asks, making me groan inwardly.

"Call him Nate, please." I tell him before sighing, "I have mixed emotions regarding it honestly. She never had another parent figure in her life, that was always my place — secured. But I do feel threatened by the fact that what if she wakes up one day and wants to see him first thing in the morning and not me.

"But I know even if that happens, what her and I have is something unique. I rely on her just as much as she relies on me. She became my anchor in the past, she still is."

Daniel nods, as my head goes back to the therapy sessions I had after my pregnancy when I cried so much during these. He always had a tissue box ready for me to unload whenever I came in, it became my routine but I always ended up talking about Emily. She saved me.

"What about Aaron's role in her life?"

I feel like my life is being interviewed, but I know he's asking these questions for me to open up about the thoughts that run through my head, to be able to give them words and speak them out loud.

"What about it?" I frown.

"You are in a live in relationship with your boyfriend, sharing an apartment with him and your daughter." He paraphrases from our previous conversations.

I nod, "I don't know. There's not much I think about it. He makes me happy, I love him and he loves both of us."

The rest of session goes on like this, as he asks me about my feelings and my thoughts on several things. The thing is, he has to ask those questions because if he doesn't, I keep my mouth shut. I just need a stroke to know in which direction the conversation would be leading.

"See you next week." Daniel smiles at me and I nod before leaving his office.

When I get out of the building, my car is parked so I get in before driving through the traffic hogged streets. It takes me half an hour to reach apartment and by then it's somewhat past six.

I use my key to get in and notice Emily and Aaron slouched on the couch, her resting on top of him completely as they both watch Enchanted.

"I'm home." I announce since both of them are clearly too distracted to pay attention even if someone was breaking in.

Aaron cranes his neck to look at me and a small smile takes over his features, "Hey. How was it?" He asks, making no move to sit up and Emily keeps her eyes fixed on the screen.

"Usual." I shrug frowning as I remove the scarf before approaching the couching and kneeling down right in front of them, blocking my daughter's view. "Hey Em."

To my surprise, she closes her eyes to avoid looking at me which makes me frown. I give Aaron a questioning look but he just shrugs in response. My hand reaches out to stroke her cheek but she swats it away, making my lips part in surprise.

"Emily." I start, "What's wrong?" I ask.

She scoots even further towards the back of the couch and Aaron sits up, taking her with him as he cradles her in his lap. He looks just as confused as I am, keeping his focus on her.

"Em." Aaron speaks and she opens her eyes to look at him. "What's wrong?" He asks her as she still refuses to look at me, worrying me incredibly as I think of anything I could've done to upset her.

"Mommy does not like me." She pouts at him, making me gasp at her words.

He looks worriedly at her as he holds my hand from his free hand, his gesture for me to keep my mouth shut.

"Who said that to you?" He asks, keeping his expression straight as he tries to look at her with empathy, trying to understand the reasoning.

"She does not love me. We don't play together." She pouts, keeping her head on his shoulder, her words hitting me deep and almost slicing through me.

How horrible have I been that my daughter is refusing to even look at me because she think I don't love her anymore?

"Em," I reach out, my hand moving up and down her back as I scoot a little closer, "I'm so sorry you feel that way sweetheart. Mom has just been busy, but I still love you the most in this entire world, baby."

My days have turned hectic ever since I started working full time at the front desk. Aaron insisted me to try for editorial team but I have too much on my plate right now for any kind of a sudden change. But since I spend full hours at office, that means less time with Emily so she probably isn't adjusting well to that.

She finally looks at me, "You do?" She looks so confused so I nod and Aaron pulls me in his lap so that I'm even closer to her.

"Of course I do, hon. You're my angel, Em. I love you to the heaven and back." I lean forward to kiss her cheek and a smile takes over her features.

"Can we play?" She asks, hopefully and I nod.

"How about you get your clay set out and we play with that?" I ask, remembering she's been learning to create shapes from it in her school, so it would be killing two birds with one stone.

She happy wriggles out of Aaron's arms and runs to her room. Aaron's hand comes up to my cheek as his thumb starts stroking it gently and I sigh under his comforting touch.

"That sucked." He mumbles and I nod, turning my face to look into his blue eyes which are swirling with concern for me.

"I do love her, you know?" I say.

"Diana, you don't have to tell me. I do know. She's just a kid baby, and she's still adjusting to the fact that you're working full time now. And then the sessions thrice a week take up your time too." He tucks my hair behind my ear before he reads my face, "But you should spend more time with her."

I nod, taking his words in, "I feel terrible." I tell him guiltily.

"You don't have to, as long as you make up for it." He gives me his charming smile that eases out my nervousness a little.

Emily comes out in the living room with her clay set in the hands and settles down on the floor. I slip out of Aaron's embrace, sitting in front of her as I help her take out the little containers.

"What are you doing?" I ask seeing Aaron still sitting on his couch, his eyes on his phone screen as he types something. "Come on, we're playing."

"Yes!" Emily exclaims excitedly as she balls a large amount of blue clay in her hands and throws it at Aaron who gasps at her.

"What have I told you about hitting people?" He gives her a look and she laughs sheepishly.

"That was a good shot, Em." I offer her a high five which she does before I add gently, "Don't just do it to anyone else."

"Okay Mom." She stick her tongue out at Aaron who finally settles down on the floor next to us bringing the blue clay along with him.

"Who were you talking to?" I ask, mindlessly as Emily starts pulling out all the clays from small tiny boxes.

"No one." He gives me a small smile, but he sounds a little nervous which makes me frown but my daughter distracts me.

"Look, it's a star!" She holds up a stencil.

"And what's this?" I ask holding up another object.

"Circle." She grins proudly before pointing at another one, "Square!"

"Good girl." I give her an encouraging smile.

"Now let's make the shapes." Aaron says holding up an oval stencil as he takes three color clays, making me roll my eyes.

We spend an hour just doing that, throwing pieces of clay at each other and making Emily recognise every shapes that I know she knows. But you need to keep asking her to keep the information retained.

"I'll set up dinner." Aaron tells me, standing up from the floor as I start putting her set together while Emily ends up with a little red clay in her hair.

"Thanks, and sorry I've been of no use lately." I tell him because every time I have a session, he ends up making dinner and also has taken the breakfast duty upon himself ever since he moved in.

"Shut up. This is my home too, remember?" He says, his words making me smile as I nod giddily, still having a hard time sometimes believing how the two of us have made through so much shit.

After picking out the clay from my daughter's hair, I tell her to put the kit back in her room, in the last space in her cupboard. I make her wash her hands, standing on the chair before I clean mine too.

"Go sit." I tell her and she runs off to the dining table before I set up the couches pillow properly as half of them ended up on the floor.

Just as I keep the last one, Aaron's phone blinks up, a facebook notification appearing, making me frown because I know that's the last social media app he prefers to use.

It's a message.

Cara Palmer : I didn't think you would reply. But I'm so glad you did. London is good, thanks for asking but I miss Cali. I miss you.

Cara. His ex girlfriend.

The one who left for England and that was the only reason they broke up. They didn't end things on a bad note, they ended it on a mutual understanding.

I recall him looking nervous when I asked him who he was talking to, which I usually don't. It just came out before I could stop myself but I do trust him, a lot. The only time it falters is when he lies to me, like he did just an hour ago.

"Diana? Dinner's ready babe." He calls out and I don't even bother to pick his phone up and hand it over to him.

I let it remain on the couch before I make my way to the dining table and sit down next to Emily, Aaron sitting across. He made tacos for dinner, which I absolutely love and are my comfort food.

He always try to make something I like on the day of my sessions because he thinks I come back with a foul mood, which I do most of the times but it's not really a foul mood, it's just my overthinking brain.

We eat as Emily talks about school in between her talks, and how she would be going a class up in her pre school in just two months more. It's already March and she would be turning four in a few months already, also making me realise that would mean an year passing over since things got serious between Aaron and I.

And now he has his ex girlfriend messaging him, telling him she misses him.

After dinner, I start cleaning up the dishes as Aaron and Emily move to the living room. He takes her to brush her teeth after fifteen minutes.

She runs out in the kitchen, wrapping her arms around my legs. I bend down, kissing her forehead. "Goodnight babe."

"Nightie night." She grins, hugging me before taking Aaron's hand and going to bed.

He doesn't come back out in the living room, making me sigh as I put all the dishes back in their places after drying them up.

When I get in the bedroom a while later, I notice that Aaron is sitting on the bed with his MacBook on his lap, typing something which makes me question if he's using facebook and talking to Cara. A sense of jealousy takes over me and I don't even try to deny it.

My eyes move to the floor and I snap at him, "How many times do I have to tell you to put your damn socks in the laundry basket?"

He frowns at my tone, looking away from the screen, "I forgot for the first time in this week. It's not a big deal."

"Yes, it is when I have to remind you every fucking time to put your clothes in the basket. And then you complain when one of the socks is lost." I tell him, my tone pissed off but I don't even try to hide it.

I move to the closet to pull out a pair of pjs and a t-shirt. Before Aaron can even respond to me, I move to the bathroom and shut the door close behind me as I change into the night clothes and remove my make up, pulling my hair into a ponytail.

Putting my clothes in the laundry basket as I get out of the bathroom, I scan the floor and notice his socks still lying there as he continues to use the laptop.

"Seriously? What the fuck is so important that you can't get up to put these socks in the basket?" I yell at him, closing the ajar bathroom door so that the voice doesn't wake Emily up.

His gaze moves up from the screen at me and gives me a wary look, "What's got you in such a pissy mood? You're already standing, just put the damn thing."

"I'm not doing shit. Do it yourself." I glare at him and he frowns.

"Okay, are we seriously that couple that fights over a pair of socks?" He asks, finally shutting down the screen and keeping his laptop on the side table.

"I don't know, maybe we are. I didn't think we were the couple that lied to each other, but apparently we're discovering things about ourselves today." I snap at him and he gives me a baffled look.

"The hell does that mean?" He asks as I keep standing in front of the bed, refusing to be any more close to him because that's how pissed off I am at this point.

"You tell me, what was so important that you were doing?" I ask, sounding suspicious which only makes him look at me like I've lost my mind.

"I was checking the data sheet that Nick sent me just now and is due tomorrow to be submitted to Brad." He tells me, not convincing me enough because he lied to me already today.

"So, you weren't talking to, I don't know, your ex girlfriend?" I ask, my voice seething with anger and his mouth falls opens at my words in surprise. "If you want to hide things from me, at least be subtle about it and don't leave your phone anywhere."

He moves to the edge of the bed in a seconds, coming a little closer to me but I take a step back which makes him speak up, "Diana.."

"I asked you and you said no one. You weren't talking to anyone." I continue to stare at him, sounding mixed of hurt, jealous and angry all at the same time.

"She contacted me and I didn't know how to tell you. I promise it's nothing like you're assuming." He tries to reach for me but I shake my head which makes him get off the bed and stand in front of me. "Believe me, please."

"I would, if you hadn't lied to me already today." I tell him honestly before moving to sit on the bed.

He tries to move closer but I glare at him, making him give me a look, "I shouldn't have lied. I'm sorry." He says before picking up his phone from the bed and unlocking it, "Here, you can literally read what we talked about."

"I don't care." I tell him, as my head hits the backboard and he sighs.

"Dee."

"Either take the guest room, or couch. Whatever you're comfortable with." I mumble and lie down on the bed, stuffing my face in the pillows to avoid looking at him.

"You've got to be kidding me." He says, "Diana, this is ridiculous."

I look up at his face, surprise etched on it, "What's ridiculous is the fact that even after we both have been through shit together, you feel the need to hide the fact from me that your ex texted you. It's a damn stupid thing we should've probably laughed about, if only you hadn't lied to me in the first place." I tell him and the realisation dawns upon his face.

Cara is someone I have never met, but he knows I have a huge jealousy problem. The thing is, they were perfect together from what I've heard. Derek slips out a lot without realising. It wasn't even like an immature crush like Lizzy, they had a grown up relationship that ended maturely when she moved away. That's why it gets to me so much because all my life has offered Aaron are troubles.

"Night, Aaron." I say with finality in my voice before shutting the side lamp off and hear him grumble before I hear footsteps and the door shutting before he leaves.

It's going to be a long night.