Aaron's POV

A crease forms on my head as she sobs out the words I'd never imagine come out of her mouth. Her eyes are red and puffy as she looks at me for a second before casting her eyelids down, almost as if my stare will pierce through her soul. The tears are just oozing out of her eyes and I move forward to wrap my arms around her.

I have this sudden need to protect her from the world. I need to hold her for as long as she doesn't push me away, and tell her just everything that will make things right in the world.

But that's just not how it works, does it?

Even if I hold her in my arms, she still breaks through every sob that escapes her lips. What did she ever do to someone to deserve this? I still haven't wrapped my whole mind around the whole thing, but I need her to talk to me.

"Dee, shh.." I whisper in her hair as I kiss them and she breaks down in my arms, "Do you need water?" I ask, as I move to get it from beside the night stand.

She nods and I pass her the glass, and she gulps it down in one go. I look at the girl who's always bossing others around with either a smirk or a grin on her face. She looks so broken right now.

"You don't have to talk about it. I'm so sorry that I forced you." I apologise, meaning it as I wipe her tears and she sniffles.

"It's alright, I need this. We need this." She says, straightening up.

"I need you, Dee. That's all."

"And this is a huge part of me, so you need this too, Aaron." She says, shushing me up.

"Did he force himself on you?" I choke out the words and she looks at me.

"No, well, yeah I guess. Here's the thing Aaron, I don't remember that night. It's just bits and pieces. I remember passing out in his room, and I remember pain, so much pain. I was crying, and I can sometimes recall how weak I felt as I made the failed attempt to push him off."

I take ahold of her hand as she speaks and she gives me a small smile, "I'm so sorry." I say, trying to hold back my tears.

What kind of a monster does that to another person? She didn't deserve it, any part of it. She was just a normal teenager girl who didn't ask for anything but happiness and her boyfriend ended up raping her! I can only imagine the pain she went through.

"It's not your mistake." She says, cupping my cheeks. She takes a deep breath before continuing, "Anyway, I woke up the next morning with my dress torn into two halves. He was right next to me on the bed and there was blood. I freaked out because I couldn't remember any fucking thing, so I started crying because it hurt. Losing your virginity hurts, but it's so much fucking worse when you have no clue about it."

I can't cry, I need to be strong for her right now. Fuck! If this guy ever came in front of me, I will kill him.

She snorts, "He woke up and apologised. He had the little bit decency to do that. Nate said, and I quote, 'I got out of control baby, and I'm sorry that it happened like this, but we can have a better experience next time.' Well, to say the least, I slapped him. He didn't take it too well, but I didn't give a fuck. I was done with the guy."

"You let him off just like that? He raped you, Diana! He should be in jail right now." I say, paranoid.

Since when is she forgiving like this? He doesn't deserve it, any of it! He's a fucking prick who should be behind the bars. Oh god, this is so fucked up. I need to hunt this dick down.

"I didn't want to do anything with him. Putting him in a jail could never come up to the cost of what I lost that night. I thought we were done with each other, and we were, until I started puking my guts out." She says with a sad smile.

The realisation hits me.

"You were pregnant." I whisper and she confirms it with her look.

"Apparently Nate's dick was so excited to explore my insides that he forgot to put on a condom." She scoffs, looking away.

"I hate this guy."

She looks at me with a small smile, "Trust me, I wasted a lot of time in that burning desire called hate. It didn't get me anywhere."

"Did you tell him about the pregnancy?" I ask.

This is so fucked up.

"After I confirmed it with a doctor, I went to his home. Maybe it happened the wrong way, but it was still his baby inside my womb. So I told him that I'm pregnant, and he literally shut the door onto my face. But wait, that wasn't before he told me that I was a whore and it probably was someone else's child and I was just dumping it on him."

What the actual fuck? She may be telling me all this casually, but I know each word that she's uttering, she's reliving her entire past and it must be so painful to talk about it. But she wasn't wrong when she said that we need this. Although if she stops talking now, I would never speak of this again or force her to talk. It will be left behind in the past and we both will move on from it, together.

"I never knew such jerks exist." I breathe.

"I didn't either, but then I had his baby, so I accepted it. I considered abortion for a few weeks, for as long as I could. But I didn't do it. I just couldn't." She sighs and then lies down on the bed, "Uncle Marcel brought me to New York with him after I told him everything. He wanted to file a case too, but I told him I didn't want that. I wanted a peaceful life, you know."

"No wonder you hate it when I mention California."

It must bring her so much pain to think of that state. It brought her nothing but so much agony, something she didn't deserve in the first place.

"Well, Aunt Shelly looked after me. I was home schooled for the senior year and my degree was mailed to me. It didn't bother me anyway. I thought about adoption, and found a nice family."

She found a family to adopt her baby? But she didn't give her up? What changed her mind?

She speaks up again, "I wasn't doing so great, Aaron. Sometimes I craved drugs, I wasn't an addict but pregnancy hormones messed up with me so much. And I had nightmares about that night, they were so awful. Eventually I started having panic attacks, they were the worst. They just triggered out of nowhere and I didn't know how to control them. Self mutilation just came with that, it helped me get a relief from the pain that was caused by my thoughts. It started from my wrists, to my breasts, to my thighs. When Marcel found out, he sent me to a professional."

"Daniel." I whisper but she shakes her head.

"He was my last therapist, and the best one. I had consulted three people before him, and no one seemed to help my case. But then someone recommended Daniel to Uncle Marcel. So I went to see him. I was five months pregnant and almost a self harm addict. He made me talk about things that I had consciously repressed. I was on medicines, not too strong ones as they could harm not only me, but the babies too. But he helped me get better."

I can't imagine Diana going through such pain. She's probably the strongest person I know, and I just am so glad that she didn't give up. She made it through.

"Wait, did you just say babies?" I scowl at her.

"Twins." She nods in confirmation, "A boy and a girl."

That clears the picture up a little. She must have given one baby up for adoption and decided to keep the other.

"I was eight months pregnant and was in therapy with Dan when he asked me how I felt about the babies. I talked, and I talked a lot about how they are that light for me at the end of the dark shadowed tunnel. They helped me survive. Few weeks later, I thought about it, and I just couldn't afford the thought of being away from them, you know? It made me feel so anxious, so I overdosed the anti-anxiety pills. I made Uncle Marcel call that family and tell them that my kids will stay with me. They understood, I think. They were kind of ready for it, because they didn't create a fuss out of it." She sighs.

She stares at the ceiling as she continues, "My water broke the next day, and I was rushed into the emergency. It hurt in every bone of my body when I was in labour, but I thought, it will be worth it after I get to hold them in my arms."

A tear slides down her eye and I look at her as she refuses to meet my eye while lying on bed, "What happened?" I ask the dreaded question even though I don't want her to answer it, that's how I terrified I am of what might she say next.

"I killed my own baby." She barely whispers, but I catch onto it. "The overdose, it did something to him. He was born dead Aaron, I held him in my arms and he just wouldn't let out a single cry. They wanted him to cry and he just wouldn't cry, so I did that for him. I cried and pushed until Emily came through."

Oh god, no no no! My vision blurs as a tear falls down but I don't try to hide it away. She had so much pain in her life, and she didn't deserve even an inch of it. I lie down beside her and wrap my arms around her torso. She buries her face into my chest as she cries and I let her as I cry with her.

"I was so afraid to lose them that I killed him." She sobs and I hold her even tighter.

"Shh.. you didn't kill him, Dee. You didn't do anything, it wasn't your mistake." I assure her as the tears fall through my eyes.

"Yes, I did. And it hurts so much, I can't breathe sometimes, Aaron. I wanted to give up after that, and I tried. But Emily's face always held me back. I couldn't leave her all alone in this cruel world. She needed me."

I kiss her hair, "She will always need you, baby. You're her mother, and a great mother for that matter." I tell her.

How could she possibly endure so much pain? My heart breaks for her as I hold her, letting her cry for as long as she wants. She blames herself for killing her child when it wasn't even her mistake. She just wanted to get rid of the anxiety, and she took more pills. Why did such awful things happen to someone who deserves literally the whole world? She deserves enormous amount of happiness and yet as she cries in my arms, I know that she's broken.

I might not be able to fix her, but I want to give her all the love I can, and there's no way in hell that I'm ever leaving her. She doesn't deserve anymore pain. And I sure as hell ain't going to be the one to to cause her any.

"That's why my eighteenth birthday was my worst birthday ever. I lost my kid." She chokes out.

"He's at peace somewhere, baby. And if he was here, he would hate to see you cry like this."

"We gave him a proper funeral. I needed that closure. But after that, I shut down from the world. I couldn't deal with emotions anymore, not outside my family. They let me dwell into depression but therapy helped me recover."

I caress her cheek, "I'm glad that you didn't give up."

"Me too." She nods. "And that's why I hate attachments and relationships, Aaron. I never knew I would even give it another try, not until you."

I place a soft kiss on her lips, "I ain't going anywhere, ever." I promise her.

"Even after everything I just told?"

"No matter what, Dee. I'm here, always."

She gives out a small smile through her tears and I wipe them away. She speaks up, "Why are you crying?" She asks as her thumb caresses my cheeks.

"Because even imagining you going through all that brings a lot of pain in my heart. I can't imagine how you must have felt, but I'm so glad that you're here with me right now." I tell her as I place a light kiss on her forehead.

"I have never talked about this stuff with anyone. Ella and Connor know everything, but I let Shelly fill them in once I trusted them enough. I couldn't give it words myself. And Daniel, he just knew. He was up to date with my reports. He told me I shouldn't blame myself, but how couldn't I?" She speaks, her voice calm and slow.

"But it wasn't your mistake, Dee. And I'm so sorry that it happened."

She gives a tight lipped smile, "His name was Evan, by the way. I already decided on the names, even though I wasn't going to keep the babies, the family told me I could name them. Evan and Emily."

"They are beautiful names." I whisper and she nods.

"And they were beautiful kids. I held him in my arms for as long as I could, before he was taken away by the nurse. I think I screamed and cried a lot, but they gave me an injection so I fell asleep. When I woke up, I had Emily right in my embrace. She looked like an angel, y'know? So beautiful."

She has this dreamy look in her eyes and a smile plays on her lips. She's reliving that day all over again. All filled with so much pain but so much love at the same time.

"She's the most beautiful kid." I tell her and she smiles at me.

"I know you think I don't take care of my responsibilities, and maybe I don't. But once I started the community college, Dan suggested that I mellow with people of my age. He said it would help me reconnect with the world since Emily was already six month old. But the moment someone tried to be nice to me, my first instinct was to snap back at them. I couldn't tolerate nice and kind anymore, because that's all Nate pretended to be. I hated him so much, I blamed him for killing my child too. But then I started getting drunk at parties and there was this guy who just wouldn't stop throwing the cheesiest compliments at me, he wanted me to like him of course. So I slept with him. He tried to get in contact later, but that just wasn't me anymore. Suddenly, I was the bitch and the whore all at once. And I liked that control I had over my emotions, because I wasn't a mess anymore. I had them under control, or at numb to say the least."

She looks into my eyes, "Derek's been the only person who I let stay in my life, apart from Shane. I mean, it wasn't because I had any attachment with them. But we all became fucked up friends. Derek maybe a badass, but he's a light head. He told me all about you and your family, and I just listened to him. He needed someone to talk to, so every time we had sex, he filled me in with the details of his life. Honestly? I was sick of not feeling anymore. So I started sleeping around more, just to feel something for another person. But it just didn't happen."

"What changed?" I ask, gulping.

"You. Everything changed when you came in my life. You were everything I hated, kind and polite. And I pushed your buttons so much because I hoped the facade will fall down. But it turned out, there wasn't any facade. You are just you, Aaron."

I tuck her hair behind her ear and she places a kiss on my lips, the one that makes me want to never let her go.

"I'm falling in love with you, Diana."