Aaron's POV

"I need to talk to you." I whisper and she flinches at the sound of my voice.

That alone brings a very strange feeling to my heart as I gulp and stare at her. I really need her to forgive me, there's no possible way I can go on without her being a part of my life. I love her, truly and completely and I can't lose her because of what I did under the impression of a complete misunderstanding.

"You're drunk." She states the obvious.

"I threw up, its out of my system and I already took aspirin and used the mouth wash. And now, I am rambling. Fuck!" I curse, my hands tugging at the roots of my hair, and I look straight into her eyes, "I need you, please. Just let me hold you for a second." I beg as I move towards her and she slips away as she stands.

"You need to leave." She says and I mirror her actions as I stand up as well.

She looks so exhausted with the dark circles underneath her puffy eyes. I did this to her, I am the reason she looks so horrified under my presence. Hell, I feel like dying for causing her so much pain.

"I'm not going anywhere." I say, very clearly before moving to the kitchen and she follows behind me.

"What are you doing?" She frowns when I take out cold water from refrigerator.

"Making lemonade, I need to be completely sober." I tell her and she rolls her eyes.

"Who the fuck asked you to drink so much?" She taunts as she snatches the bottle and glass from my hand.

I am about to protest when she takes a lemon and cuts it in half. She's making the lemonade for me and I smile a little. I definitely take that as a positive sign and the silence falls over us as I stare at her.

"There you go." She hands me the glass after minutes and gulp it down in one go.

"Thanks." I mutter before putting the glass in the sink.

"You're welcome. Leave now!" She crosses her arms across her chest and her deep v cut top distracts me.

Concentrate, Aaron!

"I will leave as soon as you forgive me, when I know that we're okay." I tell her.

She leaves to the living room and I follow her, before she opens the front door and glares at me, "Either you leave, or I will."

"No." I say as I shut the door close and she looks like she wants to kill me just through her looks.

"Are you even sorry about what you did? You kissed her even after knowing exactly how I feel about the two of you!" She lashes out, catching me off guard and I blink at her.

She's talking, she's finally talking about what happened rather than leaving herself or making me leave. I need this! We need this.

I take a deep breath, "Yes, I am. I am sorry that I kissed her. I have no idea what was going through my mind baby, I thought I was a game to you. She just leaned down and she was crying, and it just happened!" I throw my arms in the air, trying my best to explain it.

"You could have trusted me, Aaron! I trusted you all this time, with my fucked up past, with my daughter. The least you could do was clarify the things out with me before running to her." She shouts and I can tell that she's trying so hard to not let herself break in front of me.

"I know, I just freaked out when I heard Derek say all that shit, Diana. For me, I just had to go tell my best friend that she has been played by my brother and that was serving as a distraction for me to not think about how for you 'us' just didn't exist." I tell her, as I step forward and beg for her to understand even a little bit of it.

"Don't turn the tables and put this on me, Aaron. This is all you! I have done nothing but prove to you that I would not do anything to hurt you. And you kissed Lizzy! Lizzy, Aaron? If not for me, have some respect for the feelings she has for you!" She says and her words hit deep inside.

Fuck, I messed up so bad! She's right, this is all on me! I am the one who fucked up.

"She's my best friend, Diana. That's all it is. I want you, Diana Rose. I need you." I beg and she shakes her head.

"Do you know how I felt when I saw you kiss her? You threw every insecurity of mine right into my face. Pick up any fucking novel and you'll see that I'm the bad guy here and you two belong together. I am the blonde cliche bitch who's coming between two childhood lovers and soon I'll be out of the picture while you two have happily ever after."

What is she talking about? Lizzy and I were over years ago when we broke up on mutual terms. The only person I want a happily ever after with is Diana. How can she not see this? Yes, that's right, because I kissed another girl.

"Dee, I am so sorry! Please, just give me one chance to prove myself right. I would never do anything like this ever again." I plead and her eyes show so much vulnerability that I feel like holding her in my arms for an eternity.

"I gave us a chance! That were my exact words, Aaron and you proved me wrong. I don't want to argue anymore, we're done here." She says, her voice ice cold and something burns inside me.

Anger! Why would she not understand how miserable I feel right now? I need her to put herself in my shoe. That kiss was a mistake and it didn't mean shit to me!

"Why are you doing this, Diana? I really need you! You were the one who said to me that people kiss all the time, get over it, it's not a big deal. Your words, remember?" I snap, my anger getting the best of me.

What am I saying? These are the exact words she told me after she kissed me for the first time. I need to fix this, but why does it feel like I am sabotaging it more and more?

"People kiss all the time." She whispers, processing it and a small smile takes over features.

"Exactly!"

The small smile turns into a smirk as she studies my expressions, "You're right, Aaron. I did say that. Well, now that we're being so honest with each other and bringing up everything. I think it's only fair that you know that Shane came by last night." She says and I stop breathing for few seconds.

What? This is a nightmare! I close my eyes and pray myself to wake up, this isn't happening. But when I open my eyes, Diana still stands in front of me with a smirk on her face. She's got to be kidding me!

"Did you.. Did you and him?" I fall short of words.

"Yes, Aaron. I had sex with him. If that's what you are asking." She says, crossing her arms across her chest and that unnerving smirk stays plastered on her face.

My head and heart are both about to explode as I imagine her with Shane. Even the thought of him touching her makes me see red.

"You did not. You're lying, Diana. You cannot sleep with him." I stutter as I take a step towards her.

Why does it feel like I am truly losing her more and more as every second passes by? I have this sudden urge to hold her in my arms and make sure that she's mine. But with every step that I take forward, she steps back.

"Get out!" She snaps, her smirk long gone and her voice is almost a whisper.

I swear to god I feel like I hallucinated it. But when she says it again, it's very loud and clear. "Get out, Aaron! Please. I can't stand to look at you anymore." She pleads but she looks a lot more pissed than before.

She just told me that she slept with someone else and here she is, fighting with me because I kissed Lizzy? You've got to be kidding me!

"You know what Diana? It's not your mistake, really. I should've known better than dating a girl like you who sleeps around all the fucking time like it's her favourite hobby." I snap, slithering with anger.

Fuck! I went too far. I shut my mouth immediately as I realise what I just said and gulp down. Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?

"Whore." She whispers.

"What?"

"Call me a whore, Aaron. It isn't like you haven't said it to me before."

With that, she turns around and leaves me with nothing to decipher. I step out of her apartment and close the door behind me and take the wall's support behind me as I slide down to the floor with my head in my hands.

She always does this. She consciously tears me apart from her cruel words, driving me to the point of insanity where I do the same to her. What I said, I didn't mean it. Diana's past was just that to me – her past. But I stepped out of line when I called her out on her actions and almost said something I can't handle anyone else calling her. But she slept with Shane! How could she?

How could you kiss Lizzy?

My subconscious has the full right to taunt me, but this feels like a nightmare. Despite being a guy who's not afraid to show his emotions, I barely cry. Yet, the tears sting in my eyes as I picture her with another man or just barely at the thought of losing her. Fuck! I am torturing myself.

Could she possibly be lying? Shit, yes, she was lying! She said it just to hurt me, because she knew I would say something I would regret and leave sooner than later rather than begging for her forgiveness. Out of nowhere, Emily comes into my thoughts and I sigh. I screwed up, really bad and I have no way to fix it.

I should go and try one more time for the sake of Emily! I never imagined myself liking kids, but that little girl wowed me over. It was probably because I always knew how important she is to Diana. I love Diana, so fucking much that it hurts. I have known it from a while now, but I just didn't say it to her because she made me promise something and I wanted her to truly accept those words when I said them to her.

A sigh escapes my lips and I stand up from the floor, wiping my face as I turn the doorknob of her apartment and step inside. She didn't even bother to lock the front door! I ignore the thought and my eyes look for her presence in the living room or in the hallway, but she isn't anywhere.

With a lump in my throat, I make my way towards her bedroom and open the door, making sure to not freak her out. I don't want her to kick me out again, I know she doesn't even want to see my face right now but I need to beg for forgiveness one last time.

But as I swing open the door, the sight in front of me is enough to make me fall on my knees. An audible gasp leaves my throat as my mind take its time to comprehend the whole scenario. There she sits, beside her bed on the cold floor with tears running down her face, sobs escaping her full lips and she holds a fucking blade in her hands.

"Diana." I call out her name, grabbing her attention and she looks so alarmed as I approach her.

Her eyes are wide in shock as she takes in my presence and I quickly move to her, sitting down beside her. "Are you fucking out of your mind?" I say, my voice laced with utter shock as I slowly take the blade from her hand and keep it on the side table.

"Why are you here? You shouldn't be here. Just go Aaron, I beg you please! Just go." She sobs, breaking my heart further.

My mind is still in shock as I try to wrap my head around the situation. What the hell was she doing? I know for a fact that she's not suicidal, she wouldn't even think of doing it with Emily being a part of her life. So, what was this?

"Baby, what's wrong? Talk to me, please!" I beg, trying and failing to hold back my own tears.

"Everything! Every fucking thing is wrong!" She cries and I scoot closer to her. I pull her to myself and she sobs into my shoulder, while I stay quiet to let her continue, but when she doesn't, I speak up.

"Why were you harming yourself, again? I thought it was in the past, I thought you were over it."

She shakes her head, "It is, it's in the past."

"Are you relapsing, Diana?" I ask the horrible question and she cries but shakes her head again.

"It's the first time since three years, Aaron."

"Is it because I hurt you?" I question her, too terrified to hear her answer.

"No! It's because I did something horrible and I shouldn't have done that. Oh god, I was trying to punish myself." She sobs out and I tightly wrap my arms around her.

I don't care what place we are in, but I know that I need to be there for her, despite what I did or what she might not have done.

"What did you do?" I whisper, even though I am so afraid of what she might say.

What could be so bad that she felt the need to punish herself like this? Her eyes are closed as tears fall down one after another, turning her nose and cheeks red with the amount of crying she still has going on. And for the first time, my beautiful strong girl looks absolutely broken.

You did this to her!

"I fell in love with you, Aaron." She whispers.

Xx

I just wanted to say a few things in context to this chapter — I do not in any way promote or support self-harm. Neither do I romanticise with the idea of serious problems like that. I am a psychology student, and I know the kind of sensitivity those issues hold.

If you need help, or know someone you know who is in need of it, please just be there for them. Sometimes, that's enough to make them realise that they matter.

Diana needed the help, and she got it years back. That's what I want to bring light on. If you are suffering, you don't have to be ashamed of it. Mental health is just as important as physical health, don't neglect it!

Have a good day! x