flashback - a few days after the wedding

The world used to look so bright and never had Rani Mainavati missed hearing the sound of swords clashing against each other below the terrace until now.

It was there that her Jodha would practise her sword fights.

When did the palace get so silent? What happened to the hushed whispers as her daughters would argue amongst themselves what a certain literary theme meant?

The last time, it was about an ancient Mesopotamian folklore - what was it called again? It was something about a king. Why did she fail to remember the name of the book?

Was it a Gilgamesh? It could have been him. It was King Gilgamesh.

Jodha had gotten that epic as a gift from Bharmal, a one-of-a-kind gift being that it was rare to find a script which was translated from its original language - Akkadian - to Hindi.

Oh, how her daughter had loved it to the point she would read it till it was worn and the philosophical questions she'd ask? Mainavati could only smile sadly.

The chambers in which Jodha had made hers for 18 years stood neatly arranged just the way its owner had left it. Yet the sight of it made the ache in Mainavati's heart grow even more prominent.

Was this what it felt like to let go of her daughter? Was she bound to suffer like this with Sukanya and Shivani as well?

That pondering had led her to this point, her puja tray in her hands as she prepared to offer prayers at the Ambe Maa Mandir.

After offering puja, she was prepared to leave before she came face to face with an unexpected presence.

"Rani Sa."

"Shaguni Bai," Mainavati acknowledged her, confused as to whatever prediction the crone was about to give her.

Pleased to know that her presence in this mandir had thrown Mainavati off, Shaguni Bai burst into a bout of chuckles.

"You seemed surprised to find me here."

Mainavati's face fell, her voice brittle, "Anyone would be. You do not show up on invite, no one knows if whatever you come to say will bring them peace or fear."

The clairvoyant shrugged, "A man's destiny does not show up on invite, neither do I. The fate of man is always uncertain. My fate, on the other hand, has led me here to meet you, Rani Sa."

Mainavati nodded wearily. Was this the part she'd admit her defeat by destiny? Was this where she admitted that her plans to change Jodha's fate failed woefully?

"We cannot attempt to stop or change our fate, after all. Tell me, what plans have the deities written down for Jodha?"

Letting out a sigh, Shaguni Bai started, "You did all you could for Jodha, Rani Sa. Only a good mother would stand before the gods and fight them if it meant granting their offspring the best of life. You did what you thought was right."

With a scoff, Mainavati swiped a thumb to wipe off a stray tear.

"I still lost a losing battle. Jodha is surrounded by foreigners, I cannot say if she is happy there or if she has found her family there. My worst fears have been fulfilled, Shaguni Bai, I do not know if I made the right choice letting her go to Mughal territory," her voice broke as the urge to cry grew stronger with each word. "Tell me, will my Jodha find happiness there? In a land far from home?"

With a click of the tongue, Shaguni Bai leaned in her stick, shifting her weight, "Why do you think I made my journey down to Amer even after you shut the gates behind me, Rani Mainavati?"

The queen winced internally at the reminder.

"Regardless, I hold no grudges against you for that, Rani Sa. Fate led me down here to assuage your worries. Perhaps with these words, you might finally have the peace of mind you have prayed for," the clairvoyant added.

"What has fate decided for Jodha, Shaguni Bai?"

Gripping hard onto the staff, Shaguni Bai raised her head to maintain eye contact with Mainavati, the queen showing visible worry as each second passed.

"What more should I say, Mainavati? Jodha was placed with the Mughals for something bigger than herself, to leave a mark significant that people would look back on her impact for years to come."

Then, Mainavati noticed the hesitation on Shaguni's part which urged her to question, "There is more, that is why you hesitate, isn't it?"

"Fate showed me obstacles, hurdles Jodha would have to overcome, but Rani Sa," Shaguni Bai smiled again with reassurance. "You raised a rose, not a broken reed. Rajkumari Jodha would surely overcome whatever challenge she faces."

With tears of relief in her eyes, Mainavati brought her hands together in gratitude. She could finally breathe and rest well with this.

"Dhanyavaad, Shaguni Bai, dhanyavaad."

flashback over

Now in her palki, Mainavati struggled to keep her eyes open as the hours she had spent sleepless the last night were finally catching up on her.

It took her days to plead with Bharmal to let her venture out on this journey to Agra.

Shaguni Bai's words did help bring in the relief she sought at the Ambe Maa Mandir but at the end of the day, Rani Mainavati was still a mother and a mother had to worry about her daughter.

The last time she had Jodha physically with her, the younger woman had a forlorn look, her mind so far away. The last time was met with sorrow at the thought of leaving for an unknown territory.

Now, Mainavati had to see if she was at least happy in her marriage. Jodha might not love the man she was married to and it might eventually take time before the couple would get to that point or maybe they would never feel that kind of love, fate could be that unpredictable.

She could only laugh at her sleep-deprived mind which went into an overdrive in this manner. She was barely at Agra and yet, here she was, ruminating.

She then sighed as she shut her eyes, it was only a matter of days before she'd finally step foot on the soils of Agra, until then, she needed to rest in Morpheus' arms.

Once she had concluded her morning namaz, Hamida rolled up her prayer mat, a serene smile on her face. There was this inexplicable joy which came each time she had her dua.

Standing on her feet, she was about to put away the mat when a khwaja sara walked into her hojra, his head bowed in respect.

"Adaab, Begum Sahiba, Jodha Begum requests permission to see you."

Initially in worry, Hamida nodded in hesitance. While they would occasionally meet outside the harem, like in the Angoori Bagh, this would be one of the first times Jodha would request an audience with her in her hojra.

Was anything amiss?

Soon, her worries were assuaged as Jodha walked into her chambers, her hands were together as she greeted, "Pranaam, Ammi Jaan."

"Adaab, bete," she responded in kind as she slowly unwrapped her makeshift veil. With the dupatta on her shoulders, she gestured toward a divan nearby, "Please, take your seat. My sincere apologies if I kept you waiting."

"Nahi, Ammi Jaan, it was merely for a while," Jodha replied, with a dismissal wave. "Besides, I do not want to interrupt you while you are observing a religious rite. You have respected mine, it is only natural I return the gesture, Ammi Jaan."

With a smile, Hamida nodded before taking the spot beside Jodha. If her bahu was here, it had to be for something important, right? Whatever it was, Hamida could only hope Jalal was not written in it. Jodha did not need to shout it from the rooftops of how she actively avoided her son.

Ya Khuda, I do not know what You have written in stone for these two but I can only hope it is for their good and that of the sultanate.

"How are you finding Agra so far, bete? I reckon it has been to your liking."

She hoped it was.

At least, from the few times they had happened to cross paths, Jodha seemed content. The Rajput queen was content as long as she was not in the same room as Jalal, Hamida could only hope that Jalal's presence did not sour her perception of her new home.

With a restrained smile, Jodha conveyed her response, "So far, I cannot say, Ammi Jaan, this has been a lovely place so far and I have found a few to call family. You have been good to me and I appreciate your kind gesture."

Hamida could only sigh in relief. For she was aware that for a woman like Jodha - Registan ka Gulab - a man like Jalal was not an easy man to love. And she had a role to play in that, the one thing she viewed as a failure on her part.

Even now, Jalal viewed her so coldly, his greetings and interactions with her restricted to formalities as if she were a stranger.

Hamida could only respect his boundaries while hoping that one day, he'd open up his heart to her and they would be able to reconcile. Until then, it did not stop the Malika-e-Azaam from praying for his welfare and her intuition seemed to draw her towards Jodha for some reason.

Could her interest in the Rajvanshi queen go beyond her lifelong appreciation for the Rajputs who had granted her refuge while she was with child? Or could it be the worldview Jodha abided by?

A woman who ruled by her heart and a sense of justice against a man who believed he had no heart and ruled by his wits and the sword; Fate could not have picked two people who vastly differed from each other the way the east differed from the west.

"It brings me great joy to know that you find your stay in Agra satisfying, but tell me, Jodha, what brings you here?"

With a beaming smile, she replied, "I know it has been a month since I've been here but there has been this thought weighing on my mind for quite a while. Salima Begum and I had a conversation about this and she advised I had this discussion with you as you'd be more experienced with this."

At the mention of Salima Sultan Begum's name, Hamida could slowly put the pieces together as well as appreciate the fact that her other bahu was able to find a company in Jodha Begum.

After the death of Bairam Khan and then marrying Jalal to ensure both her safety and that of Abdul Rahim, Salima was slowly coming out of her shell and interacting with someone other than her immediate family.

"Do tell, bete, I am happy to help," she was quick to reply.

With a nod, Jodha continued, "Before I-," she hesitated for a moment. "Before my wedding to Shehenshah, Maa Sa told me about the expectations that come with being a queen."

Oh, Hamida was all ears now. This was a first, a begum who was interested in the affairs of the empire. Of course, there was Ruqaiya but she was the last person whom the khaas begum would think of consulting for such matters.

"Of course, I am no stranger to such matters as I'd often accompany Maa Sa," Jodha sighed. "However, I am a stranger to this place and after pondering, I believe you are the best person to consult."

"Allah aap ko khush rakhe," Hamida exclaimed, her appreciation for the woman before her growing as the days flew by. If she was not already endeared to the Rajvanshi queen before her, she was now and how could she refuse her request?

(God bless you)

"Siphani!" She called out, one of the khwaja saras standing guard in front of her hojra rushing in.

"Adaab, Begum Sahiba, huzoor," the eunuch greeted the two queens with both of them acknowledging his greeting.

"Call Iqbal, tell him Malika-e-Azaam requests he prepare two palkis and twenty guards before noon. It is a matter of royal duties," she ordered.

Without a word, the eunuch bowed in respect before turning to leave.

Then, Hamida faced Jodha again, "I had planned to visit one of the masjids outside the fort. The muezzin complains about something to do with the facilities within the building, this would be your initial duty as a begum, bete."

Both women stood up, on their way out.

"Tell me, bete, how much do you love stories?"

Jodha beamed this time at the question, "I could quote the Iliad, Padmavaat and the Odyssey if you asked me to, Ammi Jaan. I have always loved stories ever since I was a little Rajkumari."

Satisfied with the answer given, Hamida took a turn to the left, "Then you might be interested in Mughal history. Gulbadan Begum has been working on the Humayun Nama for a while now. Before we leave the fort, I have to give account."

Jodha nodded slowly at that, "It is important to take down records, not just for safekeeping but to tell stories to be passed down to the next generation."

Hamida held in the urge to snort, the act being unsuitable for a person her status. But the fact that her son and Jodha might share a few things in common made her face light up with a smile.

"That was the same thing Jalal said when he requested his Phoophi write the Humayun Nama," she said, not missing the slight way Jodha had stiffened for a moment.

"H-he has a point in that case," Jodha replied hesitantly, her eyes on the floor. It must have been uncomfortable hearing his name brought up or even having to acknowledge they shared the same thought on something like this.

Hamida could only sigh. If only these two would take the step to know each other. Who knew what more they'd find out about one another?

Exhaustion was an understatement for what Jodha had felt the moment she walked back into her hojra. While going outside the fort and seeing the locals for the first time brought her indescribable joy, interacting with so many people for the first time was draining.

She had almost fallen asleep until she realized she had to take off the heavy clothes and her jewelry. She complained to Moti and Reva as they helped her take down the golden jewelry.

"Who even does this?"

It took a few minutes after taking a bath in the hammam before she'd fall into the arms of Morpheus, her eyes barely able to stay open any longer.

The next morning had Reva gently shaking her awake, her eyes barely adjusting to the early morning light.

"Jodha," her dasi's voice sounded distant in her ears. "Jodha Bai."

Still barely awake, Jodha sat up. Before her stood Reva and Moti with the latter holding up a sealed scroll.

Muttering some complaints under her breath, she made her way out to the hammam. Only after she had freshened up and dressed up did she feel more energized and fully awake.

"Jodha," Reva started, her hand holding out the scroll. "You have a letter from Rani Sa."

With a frown, she took the letter, her fingers gently lifting the seal.

"When did this come in? Yesterday?"

"You had returned, barely able to stay awake," it was Moti's turn to answer. "Reva and I had chosen to hold on to this letter for today."

Jodha nodded silently as she read through the contents. It seemed her mind still took its time to catch up to the fact that she was back to consciousness as she had to read through the letter over again.

Namaste Laadli,

It has been quite a month and Amer misses you. I have never seen the palace look emptier than it does now and never has everywhere seemed quieter. I pray that Ambe Maa continues to grant you her protection over there.

I know that this might come as a surprise but after days of persuading your Bhapu, he has granted me permission to come with him. As you read this letter right now, we are on our way to Agra, it is a matter of days before I will finally get to see you again.

I miss you, bete and I cannot wait to see you.

With love from Maa Sa.

Rolling back the scroll, Jodha set it aside on the vanity table. If this was any other occasion, she would have been elated by the fact that Maa Sa had convinced Bhapusa to let her come with him for a ritual only fathers were to partake in.

But this was unlike what a younger version of herself dreamt of a long time ago. A younger Jodha saw herself in a Rajput kingdom as a Maharani to a Raja who would view her as the one close to his heart.

The words Jalal had said to her in his drunken state still seared itself in the deepest parts of her mind.

And a man is at his most honest when he's drunk.

If Maa Sa caught wind of the true nature of her marriage, she would be heartbroken and wrought with regret. The last thing Jodha needed was that.

"Jodha," Moti called out, her voice breaking through her reverie. "Is anything the matter?"

"You seem lost in your thoughts," Reva added.

Staring back at the letter, Jodha shook her head. What was she to do? She could not just ask the caravan carrying Maa Sa and Bhapusa to turn back, especially not when they were in the middle of a six-day-long journey.

"It's nothing," she put on a fake smile. Catching the blank expression on her dasis' faces, she could tell that they were not fooled at all.

How could she possibly fool them?

"Tell me, Reva, Moti," she stared at them forlornly. "Why do I wish Maa Sa and Bhapusa didn't have to come over to complete the Pag Phera rituals?"

Exchanging glances, Moti and Reva grasped the reason for her fallen countenance. They were aware of how Maa Sa hoped that her daughters would be in happy homes, but for Jodha, she could barely bear to stand the intense stare Jalal sent her.

It is probably his way of reminding me of how much of a conquest he sees me, she concluded.

The man himself was an enigma - claiming to hate her while his eyes beheld her in a way that sent shivers down her spine. Whether it was in a good way or bad, she had no idea.

"It is no secret that he hates me and he'll try to humiliate me with every opportunity he gets. If Maa Sa should find out we hate each other, she'll be heartbroken," she said, her fingers moving to catch a stray tear. "I can't let that happen."

The sight of Maa Sa trying not to cry during the Saptapadi rituals replayed as if fresh in her mind. Was she to face the same thing again? Was this another way of fate making her a spectacle for the gods again?

What terrible sin had she committed in the past life for her to earn this?

"Jodha," Moti shook her out of her thoughts. Jodha looked up, wondering what solution she was about to offer. "I think there's a way you could resolve this. Shehenshah-."

Without thinking twice, Jodha shook her head in protest, "Nahi."

She'd do anything but that - rather have Maan Singh snatch some of her jalebis and ladoos off her plate than seek audience with that jallad. What made Moti think she'll go to him of all people and grovel before him?

"But Jodha," Reva joined in. "Shehenshah might be your only hope here. Think about it, what would everyone think if they knew the truth of your relationship with Shehenshah?"

She had feared they'd say that. Could fate not do her any worse than it was doing right now? Couldn't she find any other way aside from meeting the man himself?

"We know you'd rather have any other option but this but-," Moti cut herself off with a regretful shrug. "A little truce and negotiation while Raja and Rani Sa are here in Agra would not hurt, Jodha."

Narrowing her eyes in annoyance, Jodha begrudgingly saw the wisdom in Moti's advice. There'll be a day when she will question Kanha on what sin she had committed in a past life for her to put up with this.

But for now, she needed to swallow her pride if she hoped to set her terms with the devil himself.

What an unexpected turn of events.

The last thing he had anticipated was her request to seek an audience with him. It was ironic, wasn't it, that the one begum who made herself scarce was here, under his roof and while he was in his hammam.

His lips curled up in a smug smirk as he replied to the bandhi behind him to let her in.

What was it that would bring Jodha Begum into his chambers? He could only wonder as the women surrounding him in the hammam applied the turmeric paste on him, their soft hands massaging his shoulders and back.

Letting himself bask in the treatment, it would take a matter of seconds he'd snap himself back to consciousness as soon as his ears picked up the sound of payal chiming.

Ya Khuda, he never thought he'd find himself in appreciation of the sound of a jewelry piece of all things yet here he was anyway.

"Your presence here is quite a pleasant surprise, Jodha Begum," he called out. He wished he could see her face right now although he did not need to do that to know her face was turned away in realization she had walked in while he was bathing.

"I will not take much of your time, Shehenshah," she retorted, her tone curt. "I am only here for a brief request."

He could only smirk at that. Brief, right? With a signal of his fingers, he dismissed the bandhis, some of whom did not fail to show their displeasure as they left the hammam. Now, it was just him and Jodha Begum in this steamy room with the heady scent of oud and frankincense permeating the air.

"What brief request brings you here, Jodha Begum? What brief request would force you to walk into the lion's den?" He drawled, his tone dripping with sarcasm, teasing her.

The room stood silent as if she was coming up with appropriate answers to give him.

It was a matter of seconds before her voice went unusually soft and calm, "You must have heard from my Bhapusa that he and Maa Sa will be coming to Agra to complete the Pag Phera rituals."

He could tell why she was here, his head turning about 90° to catch a glimpse of her. She held up her dupatta like it was a shield - with visible discomfort at the fact that she was unfortunate to be with him in his hammam. He fought the urge to chuckle at the realization that she had not anticipated seeking an audience with him in this place of all places.

As always, she never ceased to catch his attention with her attire. She looked every bit like the Rajvanshi royalty she was and it never failed to have him under her spell. For a woman who wanted him to never consider her, she never failed to stick out to him.

"Surely, you did not come all the way to this place to announce the arrival of your waldain, in that case, you have wasted your time."

"No," her voice was firm and his grin grew wider. "Why would I make a journey from my hojra to yours for this? That is not why I am here."

Facing ahead, he chuckled at her response, "Then pray tell, Jodha Begum, what is your request?"

He could swear he heard her let out a sigh before she could answer his question.

"It is not my wish that my mita-pita find out how much we both hate each other," she answered. "It will break their hearts, especially Maa Sa's. I cannot-."

Interesting, Jalal thought as he sniggered, "So, you want me to lie to them that we love each other?"

Oh, only Khuda could tell how much he planned to milk this to his advantage.

Yet, she was not the one to let him throw her off that easily, her answer swift enough, "I won't go that far. I only want them to believe we tolerate each other's presence."

Fair enough.

"And you'll do all this just to maintain an illusion."

"I will do anything if it means they will be happy."

Her voice was soft, tender in fact. His face fixed into a scowl just at that, his eyes narrowing.

"Anything?" He questioned, his voice going octaves lower as he treaded on a dangerous territory with her. The hand holding on to her dupatta fell at her side as she faced him.

He could see the internal battle that roused from that question as if she was gauging if it was safe enough for her to answer that question.

"Any-Anything," she was initially hesitant in giving that answer which had him look at her intensely. She had come in to make a deal with the devil and who was he to not take full advantage of it.

"Bathe me."

"W-what?!" She almost sputtered at his request, her face probably blanching at the thought of being within proximity to him. "I could get one of the bandhis to do that."

"No, I want you to do it yourself," a wide grin spread across his face. "It is a part of my condition."

"Condition?"

With an eyebrow raised, he snorted, "What? You're not the only one to set conditions here, Jodha Begum. Besides, I thought you'd do anything for the happiness of your waldain yet you hesitate."

Patiently, he awaited her next response. He had conditioned himself to expect anything from the spitfire behind him but her response came with silence, her payals shuffling with each step she took closer to the waters. Her presence cast a shadow behind him as she sat on the borders of the hammam. Not even the fragrances in the pool could overpower the scent of jasmine that came from her.

Her bejewelled hand picked up the jar of water beside him, the warm liquid pouring down his torso. Little had he anticipated how greatly her touch would affect him until it did. It felt surprisingly gentle coming from the woman who swore to have his head at her feet.

His eyes fluttered shut and his fists clenched at the jolts her touch sent down his spine. Like an addict, his mind sought for more and if this arrangement was one of the ways he'll get his need for her touch, then so be it. He was ready to exploit every bit of it.

closing notes: it is always funny to me how Jalal claims to hate Jodha to the point he wouldn't touch her yet he actively seeks her touch and finds ways to have her touch him. did he really hate her or it was another way of him trying to cope with Jodha's disinterest in him? we all know the actual answer.