That night at her hojra left her with more than a bleeding wrist and a bruise of his handprint around her throat, it also left her with the knowledge that she had married the devil himself.

She sat numbly as Moti and Reva silently cleaned and applied ointment to her wrists, not even a wince escaped her despite the sting. What was the point of reacting to the physical pain when the impact his words had dealt was heavier?

"The only reason why you are here is because you are nothing more than a wild exotic bird and once I finally clip those wings, Jodha Begum, you'll be as useless as a broken bird."

His motive for bringing her to Agra was not to form an alliance with Amer but because he saw her as nothing more than a wild animal to be tamed. She did not care if he reciprocated her hatred of him but the knowledge of his true motives stung.

She had tried to avoid him but the gods seemed to be highly invested in making jokes at her expense. Fate was against her as the next day, Maan Singh was summoned to the Diwan-e-Khaas for breaking one of the rules of the harem - visiting his Bua Sa without seeking permission from Jalal.

"The harem is under the protection of none other than the emperor, bete," Ammi Jaan had explained to her. "No man is allowed in, not even to protect the harem. To breach the harem is to invite death."

Her breath had caught in her throat as soon as Maan Singh walked into the court with two durbaans accompanying him. Never had she been more prayerful than that moment as soon as he was interrogated by none other than the devil who glanced at her.

The intensity of his stare was enough to send shivers down her spine even with the pardah separating them. His threat against her family and the people of Amer still lay around fresh in her memories.

Was he so ruthless that he would harm a teenage boy whose only sin was to look out for his Bua? But he had also threatened to raze Amer to the ground and that included its children.

At the end of that day, the jallad was impressed by Maan Singh's bravery and his punishment for the young boy was that he would be placed under his guidance. Knowing him, his plot was probably to make the boy a ruthless carbon copy of himself.

Aside from that and the other unfortunate times when she had to see his face during court sessions, she successfully avoided him.

Now, it has been a month since that event and while her legs were yet to take her beyond the gates of the fort in Agra, she spent the weeks moving wherever her legs took her.

First, they had led her to the Angoori Bagh where she had planted the tulsi plant for her puja. Ammi Jaan had happened to stumble across her, the older woman impressed at the care given to the sacred plant. In addition to her tulsi puja, the Angoori Bagh provided the peace she had least expected in Agra.

Then, her legs wandered around the harem as she took it upon herself to learn every pathway that connected. That brought with it nostalgic memories of when she would map out secret rooms and passages in Amer - some of such adventures almost causing mini heart attacks to Bhapu Sa and Maa Sa who would then conduct search parties to retrieve her.

Old habits died hard for the Rajput queen and they had also led to interesting encounters with the other begums. Initially, she became a gossip hotspot for being the Begum who defied Shehenshah while in his home.

It seemed to draw in other begums whose curiosity got the better of them. Who would not want to know more about the queen who had the temerity to do what she did?

And just within a month, Jodha's little ventures and encounters got her a bit more familiar with some of the women in the harem.

Like her, most of them were ladies of royal or noble upbringing all married to Jalaluddin Mohammad to secure peace between the Mughal Empire and their kingdoms of origin. However, some of the events which took place within the harem were enough to make her shudder just from remembering them.

The chaotic nature of the harem came as a sort of jarring change in environment to her. If the women were not busy pining after Jalal's attention, they were instigating cat fights and gossiping amongst themselves.

The frequency of fights within this place had her wince, surely, there was something better they could do than resort to these petty fights, right?

Now, it was not all the women in the harem who did that, most of them had their strengths and talents.

For one, there were some like Salima Begum, her initial encounter with her ended with the queens making acquaintances. Never had she seen any contemporary as wise as Salima Begum, especially.

Older than her by five years, Salima Begum had a demure posture, mostly kept to herself unless it was necessary for her to interfere and was more of a poetic soul with an appreciation for literature - both local and foreign.

Salima Begum rarely engaged in the antics of the harem, her days were mostly spent in the Angoori Bagh or her chambers with Jodha as she would make compilations of poems she had either written or retrieved from the Royal Library.

Then, there were some like Nameez Begum and Ruksaar Begum, the queen who had tried to offer her paan the first time they met. On the surface, both women seemed catty towards the other begums but every surface always hid unknown depths. Nameez Begum, for one, had a hidden collection of artwork she created under a pseudonym - all of them safely preserved.

"You could share this with the outside world, why hide behind a different name?" Jodha had pondered the day Nameez Begum displayed her collection.

Shrugging, Nameez concealed them with a navy blue cloth before sealing the closet shut.

"It stemmed from a creative choice of mine, Jodha Begum," she shared her reasoning. "I am not one for the attention, so why not share my talent with the world under a pseudonym?"

Ruksaar, on the other hand, held a box of jewelry which she had created herself, all made from different materials. She seemed satisfied, an eyebrow raised as she glanced at Jodha.

And with the intricacies of each piece of jewelry, Ruksaar had every right to be impressed by the works of her hands.

The two women were like peas in a pod, a common interest shared in arts and crafts. It made a lot of sense why they were always seen accompanying each other.

Then, there were women like Pinaaz Begum. Just the thought of her had Jodha struggling to come up with a nice descriptor for her.

At least, there was the Begum's allure which had it going for her. Never had Jodha seen anyone as invested in sweet-smelling perfumes, expensive makeup, jewelry and clothes as Pinaaz was.

Remember what Jodha had said about every surface having hidden depths? This surface hid no depth of her own as Pinaaz Begum was one of the most beautiful within Jalal's harem but that was it.

It could not get more pitiful than that - a person who solely depended on their beauty and nothing more. It could also explain Pinaaz's cold behaviour towards the other women in the harem, her haughtiness and her need to instigate a great percentage of the squabbles which took place within the harem.

That and how desperately greedy she was for the jallad's attention had Jodha wincing from secondhand embarrassment.

The Shehenshah may be of a strong build - one knowledge she was unfortunate to stumble across while performing tulsi puja in the Angoori Bagh - and good-looking, but was his aloofness not enough to deter Pinaaz? Or a great percentage of the other begums?

The last but not the least of the women within the harem was Ruqaiya Sultan Begum, the Malika-e-Khaas and the chief consort of Jalal. The woman came across as shrewd and a force to be reckoned with as she oversaw all that went on within the harem.

As difficult as it was to admit it, Jodha could see Ruqaiya overseeing the trade sector of the Mughal Empire if she put her mind to it.

One would believe that such a woman had it all, yet, it was not enough for Ruqaiya. Not the fact that Jalal considered her worthy of his time, not the fact that he viewed her as important enough to oversee the harem while he busied himself with matters of the Empire.

None of that was enough to satisfy her need for power as she actively sought out ways to gain more.

At this point, Jodha had no idea whom to pity more: Pinaaz or Ruqaiya. At least, Ruqaiya still had something going on for her. Unlike Pinaaz who cared about keeping up her appearance with the hope that she'd get a sliver of Shehenshah's attention, Ruqaiya was more invested in the political climate of the sultanate.

And that left Jodha who found herself pondering her position in the harem given that a month had merely passed since she started residing in Agra.

She dreaded the thought of being the Begum whose only job was to sit down and look pretty or worse, pine after Jalal's attention like she was a lost puppy.

Eh, she winced at the mere suggestion and that was enough to alert Ruksaar to her absentmindedness.

"Jodha Begum," Ruksaar nudged her effectively back to the present.

That was the moment Jodha realized she'd been swirling her fingers around the decorative flowers in the water absentmindedly. It was also then she realized she was again the center of attention from the hundreds of women who gathered in and around the waters of the hammam.

Words could not describe how increasingly unsettling she was finding the stares of these women. While she may have found a few tolerable and fewer friendly companies within this building, the way the others stared at her was- safe to say, she'd rather experience Maa Sa's glare over again than be subjected to this.

"Krpaya, mujhe maaf karen, my mind took quite the trip down a certain lane," she gave an apologetic smile as if to dispel those creepy glances. It seemed to work for the most part.

(Please, pardon me)

Eh Kanha, if I have to deal with these stares one more time.

She prayed for the day she'd cease to be the center of their attention and eventually the recipient of their stares.

One of Jalal's concubines, Fatima, shrugged in response. She was one of the few who still had her glance on her.

"You seem quite...I do not know how to put it, Jodha Begum," she started, pushing her chest up and above the water level. "For one, a month has passed yet, you are like a mini-celebrity in the harem."

The hammam filled up with cacophonous giggles and Jodha could only join in, albeit nervously as she looked around.

"I doubt it is for anything good. I did defy Shehenshah in front of his court and-," She stopped right there, her eyes looking around the room to finalize her point.

Fatima snorted at that, "That you did. At first, it was unbelievable that anyone would do that and most of all, get away with it. Some begums have been banished to the cold palace for less."

The Cold Palace.

Just the sound of the place was enough to make the strongest of women shudder at the thought of ending up there. Ruqaiya often used that as a threat to make the other begums fall in line and it was way too effective.

"Fareeda, for one," Fatima mused, sadly. "She was one of us, and just like us, she was gifted to Badshah Jalaluddin Mohammad. She was with child but it turned out it was not Shehenshah's. Begum Ruqaiya was able to put the pieces together when she found out how far along Fareeda was. Upon hearing the news, Shehenshah had Fareeda and her lover apprehended."

The reveal had Jodha's eyes widen in shock and fear. If it was a begum in this position, she would have had the honour of a private trial, after all, an emperor had a reputation to protect unless he was ready to risk it all. A concubine, on the other hand, was not granted that type of luxury - it spelt death for her.

"Is she-?"

"Dead?" Fatima questioned incredulously. "She would have been dead had Malika-e-Azaam not intervened. Shehenshah was on the verge of ending her life and that of her unborn child along with her lover's. It did not matter that she was with child until Begum Sahiba reminded him it went against our religion."

Jodha blinked, then turned to verify from the women in the hammam, their silence enough to answer her unspoken question. So, he was that cruel that he needed someone - Ammi Jaan - to prevent him from executing a woman with child.

"So, you see why you are the star of this harem," Fatima then smiled at her, folding her arms as if she had not narrated a story that could have ended horribly. "We like to think Shehenshah finds you a bit entertaining. If he did not, you'd be in the Cold Palace rather than here with us. I say you should keep his attention for as long as you can."

No, I would rather not, Jodha fought the urge to shudder at the thought of-. Why would she want his attention on her? She'd rather be invisible, far from the back of his mind in fact. For if she was even at the back of his mind, fate would somehow find a way to bring her to the forefront and she'd rather not have that.

Fatima seemed to notice her recoil and she giggled at the look on her face. Her face would later turn serious as she took herself out of the water.

"I like you," she pointed at her before wrapping a thick cloth around her drenched attire. "And I can see you changing things around here, Jodha Begum. I hope you stick around."

For some reason unknown to her, Jodha found herself smiling. Perhaps it was about time she stepped up as a queen in this empire.

It was not every evening he sought to observe the sunset from the comfort of his palace but when he did, there was this strange sense of calmness that came with it.

From the top story, he got the honour of viewing the vastness of the Mughal Sultanate as he pondered on how once upon a time he had to take shelter in Umerkot while Abbu Jaan and the Malika-e-Azaam sought refuge in Persia.

Now, here he was, the seat of power back in Agra as he sought to build the dynasty of his ancestors, Timur in Hindustan while he further expanded his territories.

If only Abbu Jaan was alive to witness this, he wondered. How would the old man have reacted to this?

A sense of accomplishment filled him, his gaze taking him to the Angoori Bagh where sat two of his begums - Salima Sultan and Jodha Begum.

Just the sight of the latter brought with it a tilt of the corner of his lips.

He was fully aware of how actively she sought to avoid him after that night. He'd not be surprised if she cursed her ill fate every time they made eye contact in the Diwan-e-Khaas.

Like the day after when he had brought in Maan Singh for questioning. The young boy had answered his questions with no fear of a potentially grave consequence for breaking one of the rules of the Mughal Sultanate.

"Why should I fear? I only went in to check in on my Bua Sa."

Given that he was still young and had gone into his harem with the best of intentions, Jalal had let him off with a warning and an offer to serve in his court and as a warrior.

His empire could benefit from such bravery, and it seemed the apple did not fall far from the tree that produced Jodha.

Not even the sight of his rage that night has deterred his Rajput queen with the way she spoke back at him and attempted to wrestle her way out of his grip. The only time she stopped was the moment he threatened Amer and her family.

The sting of her rejection still lingered.

There were many women in the harem who would beg to have his attention on them, in fact, it was impressive the strategies they adopted just to get what they wanted.

An expensive and exotic perfume, kohl which lined their eyes as they fluttered their eyelids shyly at him - there was nothing they would not do just to have him in their chambers. And the things they did to ensure he'd come back to them afterwards...

Then, there was Amer's precious rose under his roof who did nothing to gain his attention - maybe except her bare midriff which was barely concealed by her ornately decorated translucent pallu - and had asked his khaas begum to make sure she never appeared on his mind at all.

It's useless, she was on his mind regardless, even if she avoided him.

"What is this I hear?" A familiar voice broke through his reverie as Jalal's smile widened. Never had he missed the presence of any man the way he did Abdul's. "I disappear for a few weeks only to hear that you have captured Amer's rose and brought her to Agra."

Not bothering to turn, he greeted, "Salaam aleikum, Abdul."

"Walaikum salaam, Bhaijaan."

Not related by blood but by loyalty, Abdul bin Nasir was one of the few people Jalal would consider his family even more than he did Khan Baba and Badi Ammi.

The man was so loyal that he had lost his ability to walk to protect him from an assassination attempt in Delhi. Abdul was also one of the few who would be honest to his face, giving no thought to the consequences of speaking the bitter truth.

Well, there was the fact that Jalal would not harm a disabled man unless said man was a threat to his life. Maybe that was what emboldened Abdul to be brutally honest, the brutal part being emphasized.

But men like Abdul were rare and Jalal would rather keep them close than have them slip through his fingers. His court was filled with snakes who would hiss flattering words to get in his good graces, so a man who was not afraid of keeping it real with him was welcome to his close circle.

"With the amount of time you spent away from here, I had presumed you were captured and I would have to rescue you from the enemy's camp again," Jalal added, a teasing tone before he turned to view the unimpressed facial expression of Abdul.

"A man gets captured once and never gets the chance to live it down," Abdul scoffed before taking a seat on one of the divans, his crutches placed next to him. "Tell me, how were you able to bring in Amer's rose? I doubt you just summoned her into Agra after the defeat of her homeland."

Jalal raised an eyebrow at that before shaking his head, "And risk being Allaudin Khliji the Second? Not by the hands of Khuda. The Rajputs place their honor above their own lives, she is not any different. I had to choose a different strategy, one that would yield less bloodshed and give me exactly what I wanted."

Impressed, Abdul looked up at him. If not for his seated position, the man would have given Jalal a pat on the back.

"You never cease to amaze me, Jalal," he grinned at him. "But I am afraid you have only completed your first phase of conquest."

The emperor wanted to groan at the unfortunate reminder, his gaze taking him to the Angoori Bagh where she remained seated. She sat silently as if in focus as Salima Begum seemed to read out a poem to her.

"I know."

"Do you? Or you had to learn the hard way?"

Jalal almost had a whiplash from how fast he turned to glance back at Abdul although it felt like a glare this time. How the man before him could figure that out was beyond him.

"I thought you wanted me to bring the then Shezhadi Jodha to Agra, what changed?"

Using his crutches to support himself, Abdul stood up, his hand lightly patting him on his back, "Women like Bhabijaan are no easy conquest, Bhaijaan. Besides, it was obvious you considered sweeping her into your arms. Now that you have her where you want her, what comes next?"

Looking down at her again, he folded his arms across his chest. Abdul spoke no lies, as usual. Jalal smiled to himself at the unspoken challenge Abdul had him on but for now, he'd rather get the information he needed from the man before returning his focus back on his Rajput begum.

Never in her years of living had she heard a poem written so eloquently, each line so beautifully recited as they conveyed the emotions of the poet.

"I have never heard words so beautifully articulated, Salima Begum. It is like hearing a messenger from the gods themselves," Jodha muttered, her appreciation obvious.

A chuckle left Salima as she arranged the sheets back into a worn leatherback book, "Bairam Khan, Allah yerhamo, once wrote this. A month had passed after the death of his first wife and Rahim's Ammi, Miriam binti Khan, and borne out of grief was this poem. Returning to this is a reminder of him in one of many ways."

(May Allah have mercy on his soul)

Jodha smiled sadly as she pondered the duality of man. From what she was aware of, Bairam Khan was known for his ruthlessness in and outside the battlefield but at the end of the day, he was still a man who loved his wives especially if Salima could speak so positively about him after his death.

"You must miss him."

"Not a day goes by when I do not miss him, Jodha Begum," Salima replied, the sheets now neatly arranged into the book. "Because of him, my eyes and my mind have been open to exploring more of my creativity. Because of him, I have turned to poetry. His love and his memory are what drives me to write more."

With an exhale, Jodha looked ahead, basking in the serenity of the gardens. To experience love in such a way was a blessing - one that she had always dreamt of experiencing. It seemed it would remain a dream considering the man she was married to and her values would not permit her to think of another man in that kind of light.

"Jodha Begum, please, permit me to take my leave. Tomorrow, Abdul Rahim will be back in the palace and I have to ensure everything is in order for his arrival. Shabha khair," Salima was up on her feet now.

Jodha was about to let her go when she remembered a question she had been itching to ask.

"Salima Begum!"

The older woman turned back to her in attention

"I do not intend to take too much out of your time," Jodha started before deciding to get straight to the point. Wasting the precious time of another person was the last thing she needed to do. "About what we discussed the night before-."

"Oh," Salima smiled in remembrance. "I am afraid I am not as experienced in matters of running an empire but Ammi Jaan - Malika-e-Azaam - might be a lot more helpful in answering your questions than I am."

With a nod, Jodha pressed her hands together to express her gratitude, "Dhanyavaad aur shubh raatri, Salima Begum."

(Thank you and good night)

Salima reciprocated the gesture, her hand touching her forehead as she bowed slightly, "Khuda hafiz, Jodha Begum."

And just like that, she was alone in the Angoori Bagh. 

closing notes: I lied, I cannot do the twice-a-week updates anymore. also, this is supposed to be more of a filler chapter. 

the serial's explanation for Abdul not being in the serial after episode 20: "Abdul? we had an Abdul? we're just gonna pretend as if he never existed"
my explanation for Abdul's absence until now: "oh, he was out on a mission spying for Jalal, but he'll show up in later chapters"