JACE: Okay, I just did something I thought I'd never do...

TREVOR: What? 

JACE: I just went to the Keene Public Library to do research

TREVOR: You? Went to the library?

JACE: Yeah? So?

ZOE: Aw, leave him alone, Trevor

TREVOR: No, but I thought you, of all people, Jace, believed this whole thing was a hoax

JACE: I did

...until Paige showed us the Arnold family pictures from hell!

...now I'm totally fascinated!!

PAIGE: Wait what did Jace do?

TREVOR: He just got back from the library

PAIGE: Oh...wow...

JACE: It's not that inconceivable you guys

PAIGE: Oh, no! Of course not!

...I didn't mean...

...I'm sorry

BIANCA: Wait? Wait? What did I miss?

...I'm too lazy to scroll up and read the conversation

ZOE: Jace just got back from the library

...and he went all on his own

...nobody put a gun to his head or anything

BIANCA: Oh, Jace! That's wonderful! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

JACE: Guys, seriously, I'm not six

...I have been to the library before

...actually, I kind of like it

...very few people there

...ANYWAY, I think I've cracked this case wide open!

PAIGE: Did you find something interesting?

JACE: Did I ever!

...I discovered what the BIG town secret is

...what everyone is trying to hide!

BIANCA: Show us! Show us!!

JACE: I don't know, B...

...you seemed pretty spooked by the pictures we looked at last time

BIANCA: I was just a little unsettled, that's all! 

...I'm much tougher than you think, you know...

...and if you disagree

...I'll have to fight you on it!  (ง'̀-'́)ง

JACE: Ha!

...okay, well like I said

...I'm pretty sure I've figured out the big town secret

...and here it is...

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TREVOR: What the fu...

ZOE: Dude, are those goats? 

...please tell me those are not goats

JACE: They are indeed...goats

BIANCA: Oh, wow! Our town really IS whack!

JACE: I guess it was, like, the 1870's equivalent of a compact car

...I don't know, like a Mini Cooper or something

PAIGE: Funny, Jace, real funny...

JACE: Well, I thought after having to look at those creeptastic photos from our town's darker side

...we needed a little levity

...but not to fear, Paige

...I actually dug up some rather interesting findings

...and they're relevant

PAIGE: Really?

JACE: Yep

...so, there were some documents at the library that were too old and too fragile to copy

...but the librarian--who rocks btw--showed me where we could see them online

...I took screenshots because I thought it would be easier if we could all look at them together

PAIGE: Oh, great! Show us what you got

JACE: Here you go

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PAIGE: Okay, what are we looking at? 

...I can't read it

JACE: It's called The Celebration by the town of Nelson, New Hampshire, 1767 - 1917

...apparently Keene wasn't incorporated back then

...so it got lumped in as a part of this larger town called Nelson

...this document is basically a call for the citizens of New Hampshire to fight the British

...like, actual Revolutionary War type stuff!

PAIGE: Can you blow it up so we can see it better?

JACE: Sure 

...actually, I'll just post the highlights and give you the summary version

...so in 1776, the great townsfolk of Keene put out a call to all able-bodied men to essentially join the draft to fight against the British

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ZOE: Hold up! Hold up!

...am I reading this correctly?

...what does that say? 

...right there on the second line?

..."You are requested to desire all Males above Twenty One Years of Age (Lunatics, Idiots, and Negroes excepted) to sign the Declaration on this paper"

..."Lunatics, Idiots, and Negroes excepted!"

...you've got to be kidding me!

...man, do I take offense at that!

TREVOR: Ouch. That's harsh...

ZOE: Harsh! 

...HARSH!! 

...it's abhorrent!!!

BIANCA: Yeah, it's pretty awful...

PAIGE: Ah, c'mon Zoe, don't blow it out of proportion

ZOE: Wait, what? Paige? 

...how can you, of all people, NOT find this attitude completely disgusting?

PAIGE: Yeah, okay, it doesn't feel great to know that your ancestors would just as soon lump you in with idiots and lunatics than have you fight for their cause

...but it was 1776

...I mean, unfortunately, not only did they not have the highest opinion of us, but back then, we were essentially property

...I think we've just got to keep this stuff in context

ZOE: Context my ass!!

PAIGE: Zoe...

ZOE: Okay! Fine! Fine!

...for the sake of research

...I'll bite my tongue

...but I want it on the record

...I was utterly outraged on your behalf

PAIGE: Duly noted...

ZOE: All right then, Jace, please continue

JACE: Ooookie-dokie then...

...so as I was saying, back in 1776, the good townsfolk of Keene issued a draft

...but there was this dude, Major Breed Batchelder, who tried to thwart the draft because he supported the British

...and so the townspeople got all Hamilton on his ass and they're like, "Dude, the British? Really?"

...so they decided to meet, to you know, call him out because they'd already tried to have him arrested but the judge let him go

...that's what this next part is all about

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JACE: And so this Batchelder dude, was like, "Nuh-uh. You're not hauling my ass back to jail!"

...so he ran away

...and this is where it gets really good!

...the dude hid out in a cave!!   

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JACE: He actually hid in a cave on Mt. Monadnock for, like, three months!!

BIANCA: Those are the mountains right around here!

JACE: Yeah, I know!

...so this is where it all comes together

...Batchelder got so upset that the town was hounding him and chasing him like a dog

...largely due to the urgings of a Captain Witherford Arnold (hint, hint, hint)

...that he sought out the services of a local gypsy woman everyone called Aunt Olive

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BIANCA: OMG! She's such a tiny little thing!!

ZOE: Yeah, but you don't mess with the old gypsy ladies

...while one half of my family is French, the other half is Romanian

...and while not every Romanian is a gypsy

...and not every gypsy is into magic

...the ones that are, definitely have the juju

PAIGE: This is all so odd...

TREVOR: Yes, but oddly fascinating!

JACE: Yeah, so anyway, according to this librarian

...the town lore says that Major Batchelder got something from Aunt Olive 

...or had her do something that cursed the town

...she says Batchelder's diary is supposedly still buried somewhere up on Mt. Monadnock

...I found a copy of this at the library too

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JACE: Apparently, this is Batchelder's Cave or Batchelder's Den I think they called it in the book

TREVOR: Wait!

...I know where that is!

JACE: You do?

TREVOR: Yeah, my brother and I used to go hiking on Monadnock all the time

...believe it or not, some of that graffiti in the top right is still there today

...most of the structure is gone, but there are still a few stones in place

PAIGE: So, Batchelder's diary could still be up there like the town legend says?

TREVOR: I wonder...

...hmm...

...anyone wanna go for a hike??

PAIGE: Should we?

...should we try to see if it's still up there?

ZOE: Oh, Lord, I can't even hike to the grocery store without getting winded

...I'm a hacker and a gamer

...I don't do outdoors

JACE: Well, it depends on when you wanna go

TREVOR: Our report is due next week 

...so I'd say we have to go this weekend if we want to try this

JACE: Oh, then I'm out

...I'll be out of town

BIANCA: Yeah, I have extra practices for the Color Guard State Championships

TREVOR: Paige? You in?

PAIGE: Ah, hell! Why not?!

TREVOR: Cool! 

...well it looks like we're going on an expedition then!