David's Pov

Seeing the worn-out version of Stella standing on my doorstep made my stomach twist uncomfortably. "Stacey...What are—what are you doing here?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"I'm sure Tanner already told you I came by looking for you. That was because I had to see you desperately." She explained, stepping forward.

My brows furrowed. "Why, what's wrong?"

"It's about Stacey."

Hearing that name made panic shoot through me. I dry-swallowed. "What about her... Is she alright?"

"It's been over four years now since Stacey—" her speech suddenly halted when Dawn yelled from inside the house.

"Baby, who's at the door?!"

Shit.

"I'm not sure this is the right place to have this conversation," Stella said, retreating backward. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come."

"No, wait." I held her hand before she could walk away from me. "Please tell me what's wrong?"

"David?!" Dawn called again when I didn't give a reply.

"It's nothing, my love!" I managed a yell, holding on to Stella, eager to know why she was back, desperate to know why she looked for me, why she was here. "Just someone who needs directions!"

I didn't wait for her reply. I stepped out fully and locked the door.

"David, I have to go," Stella persisted, trying to wriggle her hand away but I didn't let her.  "You can't just leave like this without telling me what you came here to say."

"I'll explain everything. Just meet me at Mr. Miller's old cabin tomorrow morning."

Goosebumps shot out of my skin and I had no idea when I let her go. That was the place where Stacey had first given herself to me, the place we'd both promised to be together forever—I didn't want to go back there. Never

"Stella i—" she was out of my sight and racing towards the gate before I could get my words out, and as luck would have it, Dawn choose that moment to open the door and walk out.

"Who was that David?" She asked me, staring at Stella's receding figure.

It was hard to swallow. It was hard to do anything. My mind was in disarray, trying very hard to comprehend the whole shit happening to me. "She got lost." I lied, pulling her close. "Let's go inside before you catch a cold."

She nodded. "I want hot chocolate, make me a cup?"

I feigned a smile, feeling like the world's biggest asshole for lying to my wife without remorse. "Anything for you. Come on."

***

That night I'd done little sleeping. My mind ran a mile a minute, thinking of possible reasons why Stella would want to talk to me about Stacey. When I did manage to get some sleep, I'd jerked up from a nightmare, smothered in sweat, breathing heavily.

I sat up and put my head in my hand as I tried to calm my palpitating heart and erratic breathing. 

What the hell was that?

I groaned to myself. It felt like my world was slowly crumbling apart in front of me and Tanner was right, I needed to clear the air with Dawn, but I couldn't, I didn't want to tell her about Stella or Stacey, I didn't want to say those words out loud and make them a reality.

I lifted my head and looked out the window. It was dawn over Manhattan. I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could and decided to go for a jog around the block. It helped, when I returned, I was sweaty and tired and no longer disoriented.

With Dawn still sleeping soundly, I took the opportunity to shower and prepare for my meeting with Stella.

It didn't matter what her motives were, I just wanted her out of the city and out of my life before my wife got a glimpse of what was happening. That said, hopefully, after today there wouldn't be any reason to meet up again.

After shaving and drying my hair in front of the bathroom mirror, I walked into the bedroom to meet Dawn already awake and covered underneath the sheets.

She blinked those wistful blue star eyes at me as she pushed herself into a sitting position, exposing her bare breaths to me but now wasn't the time to get freaky. I wasn't even sure I could get my dick up, not with all the hysterical scenarios and a thousand unanswered questions prowling through my mind.

"It's Saturday morning where are you going this early ?"

"I'm sorry, my love. I know we agreed to spend the weekend together but I have this very important client meeting to attend." I lied, again.

She tilted her head and frowned. "Cant you have Camille attend to it."

Expelling a sigh, I walked up to the bed and sat by her side. "It doesn't work that way, my love." I took her hand and brought it to my lips for a kiss. "It has to be me."

She narrowed her eyes, trying very hard to be mad at me but I could see the hues of pink on her cheek. "When will you be back?"

"Before dinner," I promised and smiled even if it did not reach my eyes.

She shrugged softly. "I'll be seeing Paula today and I'll come home right after that so don't keep me waiting."

"I won't," one brief kiss on the lips and I was up and about, trying to get ready for my nonexistent meeting.

By eight, after eating the pancakes she'd prepared for me even though I had not a single appetite, I was out of the door and taking a three-hour drive to the other side of town.

Getting to the once aesthetically buoyant building now a reception of bushes, I stopped the car and tightened my fist around the steering wheel.

I couldn't believe I was back here. It felt like just yesterday when we'd —God, no. I shook my head.

Thinking about my past with Stacey at this point would ruin everything.

Unbuckling my seatbelt, I stepped out, took a huge inhale, and walked cautiously towards the house.

"Stella?" I knocked on the wooden door that looked like it might fall off its hinges. "You in there?"

It took a minute before the door creaked open.

"David." Stella stepped out, looking fixed up and better than she did last night. She had a cup of what I assumed to be coffee in her hand.

Did she live here?

"To be honest, I didn't think you'd come." She told me, allowing the moment of quick silence to fade between us before gesturing inside the house. "Do you want to come in? I cleaned it up pretty nicely."

I shook my head. "I'm good here."

"If you say so." She closed the door and walked to the brown wooden bench to sit. "I didn't have the time to properly look at you last night. You've changed a lot, I guess that time favored you."

There was a smile on her face when she stretched her hand to touch the D&S symbol carved into the wood. "Do you remember this?"

I heaved out a sigh. I couldn't forget even if I wanted to. We carved that the day we'd both promised to be lovers forever, a promise I found no pain in breaking.

I couldn't do this.

"I'm sorry, Stella but as much as I would love to stay and catch up with you, I have work to get to and my wife is waiting for me."

"It's funny, you know, " She ignored me. "I always thought Stacey would be the one you'd call your wife. You too we're so in love."

My stomach sank. "Stella..." I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how much she knew.

"Why did you leave, David? Why didn't you ever look for Stacey?"

Her question made my heart clench.

I didn't know the answers to them. I wasn't sure my reasons were valid or justifiable. After what happened between us, I couldn't bear to look her in the eyes and when she eventually broke things off, I took it as a means to run away from the guilt and never look back.

"Stella, can we please not do this. After she lost her baby, things weren't working, she wanted out and I let her go."

"You said you loved her, but you forced her to get an abortion and you threatened to take it out yourself if she didn't."

My fists curled and tightened by my side. "You don't understand." No one understood. When I told Stacey the reasons why I couldn't let her have the baby, she got mad and left. It didn't matter how I put it, my family and its history were fucked up.

Stella dropped her cup of coffee and got up. "I might never understand why you did what you did but if you hadn't pushed my sister so hard, maybe she would still be alive."

My eyes spiked up. "What do you mean aliv—"

"Stacey is dead, David," she cut me.

My heart stopped. "D-Dead?" I took a step backward. "What do you mean she's dead?"

Stella chuckled humorlessly. "She didn't break things off because things weren't working, David, she did so because she..." She closed her eyes for a brief moment and exhaled a shaky breath. "She never got rid of the pregnancy and she was scared of what you'd do if you found out."

"You're lying." I spat out immediately, taking another step back like she'd slapped me on the face.

"She never aborted." She continued. "She lied because of the pressure you and your stepmother mouthed on her. She moved and stayed in Philly with a distant relative and she had your baby, David."

I blinked repeatedly, still trying to process. "My baby?"

She reached into her pocket and drew out a photo that for a moment, made me feel as if I couldn't breathe.

Why was my heart beating this fast? why were my hands shaking? and most importantly, why did it feel like I was staring at the younger version of myself?

"It can't be..." I choked, handing the photo back to her. "She told me she'd gotten rid of it, she told me she—"my eyes widened as the realization hit me. She was dead, it made sense why she was dead, she had the baby, she freaking had the baby after everything I told her.

"It's been four years, David, four years since Stacey passed away in childbirth, four years since she gave birth to your son."

It felt like the wind had been completely knocked out of me, leaving me in a state of confusion. I shook my head. "Why-why are you telling me this now? How could you have known all this time and kept this from me?"

"It was Stacey's wish." She folded the photo back and put it in her pocket. "She didn't want you to know."

My body felt weak. I placed my hand on the wall to keep myself from slumping.

I had a child. 

Fuck.

"Look, I wish I had more answers but I don't." Stella continued but I was too tired to argue or talk or reason.

"Why now, Stella?" I managed to ask. "Why now?"

"Because..." Tears started to form in her eyes. She closed it for a moment then said, "Your son is dying and I need your help."