(Youtube version)

3rd person Pov:

(Y/n) was riding his brown horse with one black spot on her right eye, through a dense forest along hill edge road where he had to be careful not to let his horse walk off the edge.

With the ground covered with a thick layer of grass, this task was difficult to do.

Noticing someone behind him, he turns his head to see his grandfather sitting on (Y/n)'s horse.

God: Sup!

(Y/n): Where the hell have you been?

God: Shouldn't it be, where the heaven have I been?

(Y/n): It's going to be where the heck will I kick you off if you don't talk.

God: I'm god. I have responsibilities. It's hard enough to make time for my favorite grandson.

(Y/n): How many grandsons do you have?

God: Well... You're the only grandchild I have. My other kids are just not interested in giving me more grandchildren... At least nowadays.

(Y/n): I'm currently busy trying to not fall, so will you shoo?

God: Don't be like that. I'm sure you can multitask.

God: So... What's her name?

(Y/n): Who's?

God: Your horse.

(Y/n): I don't know... Bob.

God: Bob?! You can't name her Bob!

(Y/n): Why not? He's my horse.

God: She.

(Y/n): Semantics.

God: Don't call her Bob.

(Y/n): What should I call her then? How about dumbass?

(Y/n): What do you think dumbass? Isn't that just the perfect name for you?

God:...

(Y/n): Who's a dumbass? You are! Yes, you are!

He rubs the side of Dumbass the horse.

(Y/n): Did you know this horse can't jump? I had to carry Dumbass over a fallen tree.

(Y/n): Seriously. I can't believe this horse can't even hop-

When he said "hop", Dumbass the horse jumped forward, launching (Y/n) and herself off the side of the cliff road they were on.

There were only a few words (Y/n) had time to say.

(Y/n): YOU DUMBAAAASSSS!

(Play Opening)

After healing from the fall, (Y/n) got up with a less than happy expression on his face.

God: That's called karma.

(Y/n): Everything was going completely fine before you showed up and said I should give Dumbass a name.

(Y/n): I let my guard down... Where is Dumbass? Is she dead? I kinda hope she's dead.

God: She's stuck on that tree.

(Y/n) looks up to see that Dumbass the horse is, in fact, alive and well on top of a tall tree.

(Y/n): Great. Now I have to save her.

A Griffin then swoops in and takes Dumbass the horse away, most likely to be eaten.

(Y/n): Dumbass! Nooooo!

(Y/n): AAAAGGGHHH!

(Y/n): Today has just gone completely downhill... Both literally and metaphorically.

God: Are you okay?

(Y/n):... The path to retirement is long and hard but it's the path I will take for it's the only one where I can get peace.

God: That was beautiful.

(Y/n): Don't patronize me.

(Y/n) began walking further into the forest with his grandfather following along.

After pushing through many of the thick shrubberies in his way, (Y/n) came across a large lake along with a lake house near the lake's shore.

The lake house looked old and decrepit.

Like other areas (Y/n)'s seen in this forest, the trees were so large that they acted as a ceiling that barely allowed any light in. This same tree roof toward over the lake.

(Y/n), with his enhanced vision saw an opening on the other side of the lake.

(Y/n): Hmm... Hey gramps, can you part the lake?

God: What?

(Y/n): Move the water aside, so I can walk to the other side.

God: That's kind of extreme for this situation. You can just swim to the other side or better yet, use that rowboat.

He points at the old moldy rowboat near the lake house.

(Y/n): I guess that will work.

He makes his way to the rowboat. Looking around, he sees the rowboat tied to a nearby tree.

But what caught (Y/n)'s attention was when he stepped onto the went gooey-esque sand he felt something hard in one spot.

He looked at the hard spot and dug a little to see a skull.

(Y/n):(mind) I'm getting a bad feeling about this lake...

???: Get away from my boat!

His attention then turned to an old man that ran out with a pitchfork.

The old man was probably in his sixties. His hair was all gray, however, it was long and messy. Skinny and tall,(Y/n) then noticed his pointy ears poking out of his hair, this man was an elf, meaning he was much older than sixty if he looked like that.

(Y/n): I don't mean you any harm. I just want to get to the other side of the lake.

Old man: Human...?

(Y/n): Yes.

The old man then puts down his pitchfork.

Old man: Oh... I thought you were a bear.

(Y/n): You have many bears wanting to cross the lake?

Old man: You'd be surprised.

(Y/n): What do I call you?

Old man: Lakaden, you?

(Y/n): (Y/n).

Lakaden: (Y/n)...

He shifts his eyes between (Y/n) and the lake.

Lakaden: Yes... you want to cross the lake, right?

(Y/n): Correct.

Lakaden begins nodding.

Lakaden: I'll take you.

He unties the rowboat.

Lakaden: Get in.

God: This seems suspicious.

(Y/n):(shrugs)

He gets into the boat. Lakaden then pushes the boat then quickly gets on.

Grabbing a rowing oar he began to row the boat to the other side.

The trip began silently, as (Y/n) kept his eyes on Lakaden.

(Y/n): How long have you been here?

Lakaden: Hmmm... Let's see... It's been almost 700 years now.

(Y/n): 700 years?

He looks around the lake, not finding a place where he himself would want to spend that much time in.

(Y/n): Why have you dwelled in this forest for that long?

Lakaden: There's just this something that makes me stay here. I didn't like it at first, but when I got to know more about her, I couldn't help but fall in love.

(Y/n): Her? Is there someone else who lives with you?

Lakaden: N-no! I-I just said her like how you call a ship her.

(Y/n): I see.

Now in the middle of the lake, (Y/n) began hearing Lakaden bump the oar against the boat every time he rowed.

He was about to ask the old elf if he needed a break, but when he heard a splash, he began looking around.

(Y/n): What was that?

Lakaden: I don't know...

(Y/n): Are their fish here?

Lakaden: Not really.

(Y/n) then saw something swim past the boat which shook the boat as it passed.

(Y/n): Tch!

He leaned over the boat to try and find the creature in the water.

(Y/n): What the hell was that? Is there something you're not telling me?

God: (Y/n).

He turned around to see Lakaden swing the rowing oar at (Y/n). The oar breaks on impact with (Y/n)'s face, this causes him to lean further back off of the boat.

(Y/n): You-

Before he could finish, something comes out of the water and pulls him into the water.

It dragged him deeper into the water. When they were deep enough, the creature let go of (Y/n) and began swimming around him.

(Y/n):(mind) I got to get out be for I suffocate, and that's a pain in the ass to deal with.

The creature then swoops past him, quickly taking a bite out of his shoulder as it does.

When (Y/n) sensed it coming to get another bite, he turned around to punch it, but it simply moved under the hit with absolute ease, then took a bite out off (Y/n) thigh.

(Y/n):(mind) I knew I was a snack but this is something else!

Quickly thinking, he decided to play dead. He went limp and waited for it to come to get another bite out of him.

This time the creature went straight at (Y/n). When it reached out to grab (Y/n), he then quickly grabbed its arms and kneed its jaw shut.

He then used his strength to break the creature's wrist. It gurgled in pain, allowing (Y/n) a moment to look at it.

(Y/n):(mind) I guess I know who "she" is-

(Y/n):(gurgle)

(Y/n):(mind) Crap! No air!

He smashed his fist through the creature's teeth, then grabbed its hair and began swimming to the surface while she was stunned with pain.

Reaching the surface he gets back on the boat, surprising Lakaden in the process. He surprised him even further when he tossed the lake monster onto the boat.

Lakaden: Coralia!

He went to her side as (Y/n) puked out some of the lake water he accidentally swallowed.

God: You okay, (Y/n)?

(Y/n): Lakes are disgusting pools of water...

Lakaden: What did you-

(Y/n) kicked Lakaden in the face.

(Y/n): I want an explanation. You're going to give me one or i'll see how this bitch tastes after I grill her!

God: That doesn't sound right...

(Y/n): Ugh...

Lakaden:... A long time ago, I found her injured on the shore. She used her voice to charm me into saving her.

Lakaden: I brought her to this lake to keep her safe and hidden.

(Y/n): I'm guessing that she also made you lead people to this shitty lake so she could feed.

Lakaden: Yes. I didn't like it at first, but eventually, I got to know her... After that, we fell in love.

(Y/n):(slight disgust) What?

(Y/n): Are you screwing with me?

Lakaden: No, everything I said was true.

(Y/n): So you're in love with this monster? You might as well be in love with a dolphin... Hell, a dolphin would probably treat you better than a slave.

Coralia: Graaahhh...

(Y/n): Be silent, monster.

Lakaden: Don't speak to her like that!

(Y/n): She tried to kill me, I'll talk to her however I want.

(Y/n): Now it's time to get rid of this pest.

Lakaden: You will not harm my love!

The old man gets up and blocks (Y/n) from getting closer to Coralia.

(Y/n): There is no love! This mermaid is controlling you with her abilities. The moment she dies, you won't feel a thing for her.

Lakaden: You don't know that!

(Y/n): Then let's test my theory.

With a red glint in his eyes, (Y/n) glared at the two. He then noticed Coralia reach out to Lakaden while whimpering in fear.

(Y/n) then grabs Lakaden by the collar of his shirt then tossed him into the lake.

He then glared at Coralia, who tried to crawl away, but she quickly realized there was nowhere to run.

(Y/n):.....(sigh)

(Y/n) then slid his foot under her. He then quickly lifted his foot and leg, tossing Coralia into the lake.

She then swam behind Lakaden.

Lakaden: Why?

(Y/n): I just remembered... I don't give a shit.

(Y/n): You want to fuck a fish, go ahead, I don't care.

(Y/n): But for attacking me, I'm going to take this boat.

(Y/n):... Oh! One last thing. If I hear any more people go missing here, I'll come back and end both of you.

He grabbed the second oar and began rowing the boat to the end of the lake.

God: Why did you spare her?

(Y/n): I think breaking her wrist and teeth has made her mostly harmless.

(Y/n): Besides... I'm not an avenger.

God: Then what are you?

(Y/n): Whatever I want.

Arriving on the shore, (Y/n) followed the light until he exited the forest. From there, he continued with his retirement adventure.

(ending theme)