Chapter One: I Leave Nothing To Chance

Ugh, my back was killing me. I knew I should have stretched first before coming here to Beauty Jess's brothel. The witch's brothel in Gichi-Gami City up on Lake Superior was rather fancy, no smoking, you must be clean of all diseases, no weapons.

Which would have made it rather hard to get past the guards. Which I didn't.

So a big nasty shifter tossed me over the bar, while Beauty Jess laughed from the background. Bottles fell all around me, breaking with a crash. I grabbed a thing of expensive looking vodka, took a large gulp, and stood with a dizzy waltz. Ever Heart glowed a deep purple, as though it could see into my soul.

Beauty Jess waved her wand - which happened to be a bright pink vibrator - and a storm of water and hail came for me. I ducked below the bar counter, waiting out the magic wave and popping up again with a Grand Power K100 pistol, shooting at least five rounds at the witch. A young fae woman appeared, forming a magic blue shield. Sotra a mix between light and glass.

The bullets did nothing. So I pointed the barrel at the shifter. He was thrown back from the force of the bullets, but his chest regenerated. "Come the fuck on! You unendings are really pissing me off."

Beauty Jess, the near naked woman with long black hair and a deep tan, absolutely drop dead gorgeous, smiled viciously. "Oh, young Ditto. You truly are joy to be around. It disappoints me greatly to see you die. You'd have made a fantastic lover."

"Ah, but only with sex. Unfortunately, I have no real love to give."

She grinned, her pearly white teeth flashing. "The body is the best form of expressing love. Why do you think I am so successful?"

Eh, she has a point.

Hoisting Ever Heart up, I jumped over the counter onto the marble tile. The foyer of the brothel was large, with a bar and lounge to relax in while waiting for your turn. Another young, beautiful fae woman came out of nowhere, and the three guards charged at once. The middle fae sent blue shards of magic, the right fae unleashing a green slime that I knew was acidic.

Keeping my cool, I reached into my brown leather satchel and removed a cold vial. I tossed it on the ground, and upon breaking an ice wall exploded to stop the magic assault. The shards broke, but the acid melted the ice immediately. I moved around the ice and ran into the shifter. We both fell in a tangled mess, the gorgeous man on top of me. I smiled. He punched me, then changed into his lion form.

I put Ever Heart into his gut, then sliced down. Blood and guts plummeted out, staining my nice white shirt and black jacket. Mother fucker, I think I need to start wearing red. Pull a DeadPool, or is that a copyright violation? Nah, I like white and black more. The lion roared in pain and terror, his body healing and jaws striking down. I sent black necro-lightning down his throat, and he jumped off.

I got up, his guts falling off in a bloody mess. Gross.

The two fae let loose more magic, but I rolled forward and put my sword in the acid fae's leg. She screamed and dropped, letting blue shard fae put a large glass like piece in my right arm. It shattered on contact, but still hurt like hell. My hand grabbed her leg now, and I turned it to ash.

As she yelled for help, the lion sank his jaws deep into my back and shoulder. Tendons ripped and muscles tore. I reversed Ever Heart in my hand and dove it deep into his skull. Using just about all the strength I had, and with the help of some demon blood, I threw the lion over me, sword still in his head.

The fear in his dark pupil was shortly put out as I stomped on his skull, simultaneously busting open and splattering over the floor.

Ew, now that's gross.

I heard Beauty Jess behind me, arming her magic. Freaking out, I dove near a table and flipped it. Her water mixed with hail tore at the table, but it was too high quality, holding firm. Oh, my back was absolutely fucked up. Leaning my head a tad, I saw the acid fae crawling near me, blood leaking out like a running hose. Breathing heavily, I traced a spell out of blood on my palm, and rolled again atop the fae. Palm clasping her face, I sucked out her life force, healing my body and turning the woman into a pile of grey dust.

Up in an instant, I swiped away the witch's magic until my hand was around her throat, wand hand separated from her arm. The vibrator buzzed without joy.

"So, is this what you signed up for when you joined the Sleeping Witch?"

Beauty Jess gurgled, obviously not enjoying the choking that under different circumstances I knew she would. I loosed my grip slightly.

"Mother will destroy this world, shaping it anew. Leaving only beauty and immortality. I only wanted to be beautiful forever."

She clutched at my hand, struggling for air. I love that struggle. Makes me know who's in charge. I smiled without humor. "Naturally death and ugliness and flaws are what you hate the most. Thank you for the information. I've been curious by the motivation of the Cult members."

Her neck broke with ease, and I dropped her like a doll to the cold floor. Cracking my back, I noticed the blue shard fae still crawling, no blood trail but instead one of ash. She was reaching through the pile as though her leg could be replaced. I found my dropped gun, and one shot to the head ended that.

Welp, I guess I'll be going back to the department store for new clothes. Again. I'm literally setting aside hundreds of dollars for clothes now. And it's really making me angry.

Dusting myself off and resheathing Ever Heart, I strolled out the brothel. The December night sky over the huge city seemed dull and lifeless.

Opposite of how bustling the nightlife of Gichi-Gami City.

Ah, I suppose I should clear some things up while I head for the light portals. My name is Ditto Night, I am the Last Necromancer, and I have waged war with a multiple millennial year-old witch who seeks to destroy the Layers. Our home.

With the coming of the Last War, I now begin my greatest challenge. I have set aside my quest for knowledge and truth for the moment to try and save all life. Yes I know, I'm sacrificing so much for all you ungrateful people, but what can you do?

The Sleeping Witch seeks to destroy and rule the Layers, to restore her once ancient power and become the ruler of everything. She wishes to upend death and cast its principles out for her own selfish leadership and goals. Something I can respect, yet this is my world too. So if anything I should be the one to destroy it.

Fuck. I'm getting off topic.

Now I'm doing my best to clear my Province district of any Witch agents. At least the higher ups who lead the pathetic lackeys that know nothing. It's been tough, locating and dealing with them. But most are weak, or usually at the very least surprised when I show up.

I bet you are also judging me. 'Ditto, I thought you were a hero. Heroes don't murder.' Yeah yeah, well, my opinion on life is about as flimsy as paper. Like, literal living things. When you are the last of your kind, and the world believes your death is more important than your life, you learn to kill without much effort.

The building for the light portals appeared. I hope they don't mind or ask about the blood. That would be awkward, wouldn't it?

XXXX

The light portal buzzed and whirred, and I stepped through to Lake City, my home. The brick buildings and paved streets were silent, most of it's denizens inside, resting for the night. Magic wasn't as wild and rampant at night too, instead the air calm with normality. If you consider inactivity being normal.

No one asked about the blood, but maybe when you realize it's the necromancer you're staring at, you opt out of saying anything. That one cute witch did pale a little. I don't know, I don't concern myself with the opinions of others. They usually mean nothing, or are just plain mean. Like damn, I have feelings too.

The air stirred for a moment, and Fina, the Metal Spinner landed beside me. She tucked away her crystal-looking wings, smiling like a fool. "Ditto! You look like shit!"

"Wow. And I thought I was the most beautiful girl at the dance."

She laughed, wrapping an arm around me. "Don't be that way babe. I've been waiting for you all evening. I was finally able to get to the Dusk City councillor Janice Kan. That witch won't be waking up anytime ever."

I nodded, pushing her off me gently. "Good. We need to buy as much time as possible. Sasha said that the councillors are increasing their City Guards even quicker. She's going to try and form a meeting, demanding that they disperse their forces."

Going down a street, we were nearing Sasha's apartment. She would be waiting for us to give us a more thorough update. Plus I need to get some affairs in order before I leave to the Light Layer in a few days. Things have been going by fast and stressful. So much to do, so much to do.

"I'm running out of favors, by the way," said Fina, not bothering to admire the masterful gardening down this road. "The Network keeps close track of that stuff. I think you need to start using up your favors."

"Those are for emergencies only."

"First of all, bitch, I looked up your favors," Fina said while giving me a greedy look. "Since you are still in the system from your assassin days. And you have a ton. Like, damn."

I glanced away, not meeting her singing eyes. Sometimes being brave is for idiots. "Listen, I plan on using the Network, but since what's his face is probably still pissed at me, I need to play it lightly."

Fina said nothing, but I saw her breath in the air. She pushed open the gate to the apartment complex. "Aren't most organizations that actually matter pissed at you?"

"Yeah," I responded. "Only some are slightly pissed, while others are just plain angry."

The half-fae hit the elevator button, and we waited for the door to open. "Blah, blah. Maybe you should learn how to play nice."

"That's saying alot, coming from the woman who once murdered a man for beating her at Candy Land."

"The bastard cheated and you know it!" We were now going up the elevator, listening to the cheery music. I tapped my foot to the beat. Fina hummed quietly. The door opened, and we were walking down the long hallway.

"All I'm saying is I need to be careful when contacting my more.......hostile allies," I said. Fina knocked on Sasha's door, and the witch greeted us with less smiles than a mortician. I should know, as morticians both love and hate me.

"Ditto, for the love of God, please start changing before you come over here." Sasha motioned us in, which we gladly did, and we were now standing in her nice living room. Sasha has always been a neat freak, her gold and blue furniture clean and pristine. None of her work life was in view, all tucked away in her home office. In fact, you probably wouldn't even know that she was in charge of most of the city from first glance. The Lake City councillor went and got a towel, placing it over a seat. "Now you can sit down."

"Thanks. I feel so special," I said, flicking off a hair on the purple towel. "This isn't one of your good towels is it?"

"No, go ahead and ruin it," Sasha commented. "Like what you do to all my things."

"Damn Ditto, have some courtesy," Fina laughed, taking a seat next to me. Sasha went around and handed both of us water bottles. I was so thirsty, downing that thing in a minute. Once the witch joined us, I coughed.

"Alright, what you got for me Sasha?"

The woman tucked back her shortened gold hair, glancing momentarily at Fina before eyeing me. "I don't have the grounds for a Code Eleven, with no real emergency going on. Shifters attacking cities and fae gathering isn't all that particularly alarming." She paused, as though time was meaningless. "Water District is more or less calm. But there are rumors of southern cities starting to go on edge. Some are claiming the other cities shifter packs have been raiding them, and demand payment. Others are refusing, and see this as a challenge of honor and threaten a fight. But that doesn't mean that chaos and fear and corruption won't spread here. Steel City over in Pennsylvania says that a shifter pack besieged them only days ago, all though there has been no evidence otherwise. Witch and warlock minor guilds are starting to demand more money for their services. It's just a mess."

The Sleeping Witch's corruption was getting annoying. Shifter packs were moving and gathering, attacking towns and cities. Not leaving enough damage to be considerably worried, but still, it was a problem. The last remaining uncorrupted councillors seemed to basically have died off, or they simply have no power. The minor guilds and organizations, most consisting of witches and warlocks, seem to be under her influence, but even if they weren't, the events being carried out were sending them into a panic. False or otherwise. Service fees were going up, multi-city factions were ripping apart. I rubbed my head. I need to make calls here soon. Or else we will fall.

"Call the meeting," I said. "Do it. Get every single Water councillor here. You just need to stall. If one city goes to war with another, I will move to action. And I really don't want to. I leave for the Light Layer in three days. Try to disarm them, bring them to reason."

Sasha nodded, drinking from a wine glass, though it wasn't wine. "It's going to be tough. The cities are like mini-provinces. They have minds of their own."

"Do you want me to find these fae conclaves? Huna I'm sure will send some top agents. I think I can weasel my way in somehow," Fina said. Even though she was half-fae, Fina was stunning to look at, which might overcome her human blood flaw. The fae are particular about their looks, and who represents them. The human blood side could easily lead to her death. "Or at least get ahold of some old friends of mine? I think I know a few who would be happy to join us."

"Do as you see fit," I replied. "They probably are gathering at a sky city or base. If you can kill those leaders, it would at least slow them down a smidge."

She gave me a thumbs up. I popped some fingers. "Has Paul got ahold of his vampire buddies?"

"Yeah. He says basically every vampire hasn't heard of the Sleeping Witch, so we should be safe in using them." Sasha frowned. Always frowning with her. "Even though they make great spies, and can communicate via internet, the vampires don't have an army. They don't normally fight."

"I'll text what's his face." Hopefully he isn't still mad I stole his crown. "There's not much I can do in three days though. How many heroes have we gotten here Sasha?"

"Thirty. With three Big Boys." Sasha sighed wearily. "Not that much. It's no army. But apparently they are willing to fight. Ditto, do you think we should raise our own guard?"

Ah, there is a good question. Forge an army out of innocent citizens who have no clue as to the threat that looms in the horizon. I scratched my nose, hoping it could provide the answer. "No. That only leads to attention from others. Better to try and keep a smaller profile."

"Hard to do with the most hated man in the world living here," Fina said. She crossed her arms, a sign of wanting to kick my ass. "Maybe, we should look west or north, into Canada maybe. Sasha is friends with many councillors. Armies aren't formed overnight."

"Well, you can't do that. But I can."

"And what if this Witch decides to bring her armies to our doormats?"

"Then we run and hide." She glared, so I sighed in frustration. "Yes, I agree with you. Sasha look to Canada. I'm going to make a shit ton of calls. Fina, find the conclaves, kill more councillors, do whatever it takes to disrupt them."

Fina nodded, then stood. "Listen, I'd love to stay and chat more, but I'm tired and need sleep. Nighty night you crazies."

Fina left, leaving only Sasha and I. The witch's voice got low. "Ditto, what do we do if the angels come?"

"God, I don't know." I thought of the chaos that would ensue if that happened. "But I will still stand by what I said before; I'll challenge them, and hope it's enough to at least evacuate the city."

"You know you'll die."

"Then let's hope it's worth it."

Sasha laughed. "You're so hopeless. Now get the hell out. You're stinking up my house."

"Good! That's what you get for not giving me a mansion."

XXXX

I walked into my house tired and bloody, something that has happened on multiple occasions, to hear laughter in the living room. Going in, I saw Halina Deya, a human writer, sitting on my couch with another human named Nicki Long. I groaned. "Oh my God. Why are you always in my house?"

Nicki scowled back. "Halina wants me here. So fuck off."

Halina and Nicki have been dating for the past few weeks, ever since they met each other in October, and Nicki being here is about as annoying as Valory. She eats my food, watches my TV, puts her junk everywhere. And, here's the kicker, she won't freaking leave! "Pay for the food you eat, and maybe I won't be a pissy bitch."

"I can--is that blood?"

I looked down at my shirt. "No."

Halina's eyes flickered from me to her girlfriend, and I wondered whose side she'd take this time. Apparently, since I'm 'unreasonable' or something, I always get the short end of the stick. But I'm allowed to make important decisions about my life and my home.
Aren't I?

"We were just enjoying a movie," Halina said, taking her arm off Nicki. "No troubles here."

"I bet you ate all my popcorn."

"No."

"Yes," said Nicki. "It was very tasty."

"Son of a bitch," I said, coughing violently from my own stupidity and anger. "Okay. I'm going to change, then not come out here because I don't want to see your annoying face."

"Whatever," the woman replied. Halina just shrugged, kinda looking apologetic, kind of not caring. Well, that's fair. Going into my study, I quickly threw on sweats and a sweatshirt. Ah, warmth, it felt so good and miserable.

Taking out a notebook, I crossed off Beauty Jess's name. And the councillor Fina had killed. That just left.......a lot of names. Judging from how much time I had between now and when I entered the Light Layer, I might be able to get off one more name. It might not matter however.

Leaning back on my leather couch, the movie playing just across the hall must be a war movie. The sounds of destruction and guns did not help my mood. I took out my second journal, flipping through to a page dedicated to the magi. One of many.

The Light Layer is enormous, but the magi have done a good job of spreading across most of it. Defenders of peace and justice, they guard us from the demons that inhabit the Dark Layer. The only two layers to have easy access to each other, a split or cleave between the two worlds, leaking over with ease. The border is a dangerous place only if one does not have the wits or skills to survive.

The Magi have large garrisons and outposts only a few miles outside of the Jan'Ko border, a split so massive one can easily see the activity going on on the other side. Some of the greatest battles happen right there. The Magi don't go past the border, electing to stay in the Light.

But that was changing. They were raiding the Dark. In the name of peace, for the purpose of death. A very.......human trait, one that disgusts and irritates me. But if the Witch wants blood, the chasms will be key.

I went to my desk and rummaged threw a drawer. Gotta get my passports and papers ready. And think about what I'm going to say. There is no pleasing those pompous bastards, but I gotta think of something good.

Whatever. There are always obstacles, always things that can go wrong. The Necromancer knows better than anyone else. Being in that layer will be very, very tiresome, as you all will see. Arrogance and elitism beyond the wazoo. It's ridiculous.

The house went quiet. I heard some muttered good bye's, then the door closed. It took a few seconds, but Halina was now sitting with me in a room designed for knowledge and secrets, now for gossip and planning.

"I like popcorn Halina. And you ate it all." I turned with sass. "Now how will I survive?"

"You have more bags."

"Don't mock me. My weak heart can't take it anymore." I bopped her on the nose. "You getting packed for the trip?"

"Pretty close," she said, scratching her still near shaved head. "Though gonna be honest, I don't know what I'll need."

"You need clothes and whatever else you pack on a normal business trip. Personal items, hygienic stuff, the usual. Nothing to weird or earthy, I guess. Nothing to human. The magi in the Light Layer are rarely exposed to earth culture. And United States culture is not the best culture to expose them too. Keep your items mild."

"So keep my bags of cocaine here?"

"Fuck no. Bring that shit, damn what are you thinking?" What is this, amature hour? I got serious for a moment. "Halina, you need to know. The magi, they're.........okay, they're racists. Against more or less anything that wasn't born and raised in the Light Layer. You, me, we will be looked upon with disdain." I messed with my hands, picking at a fingernail. "Honor that borders on elitism. You will be more or less alright. They'll give you stupid looks and murmurs, but that's the extent of it. Me on the other hand, well, I can't say that bad shit won't happen."

"Ditto, you're acting as though I've never gone through racist stuff before. It's not exactly like we live in a 'for liberty and justice for all' society. I've gone through terrible things too." Her clear eyes and sad smile told me everything. "But I do know the horrible feeling that comes with the words and names. And I'll stand by you."

"Yeah. That makes me feel better," I said, actually wanting some real comfort in my life. Yet we don't get what we want. "I plan on ignoring everything in terms of name calling. No matter how bad it gets, promise me you won't say anything in my, and mine alone, defense. If anything get's physical, then I'll put those bastards in their place. Just, I don't know."

Halina nodded, her small hand grabbing mine, stronger than mine for sure. "You're not alone."

"Don't say that. If trouble happens, you need to abandon me. The magi, if something really bad happens, they'll leave you alone. But any blame could just as easily be pushed to me." I laughed kindly, as though what I was saying was not real. Fuck me. "That's the only rule that is to not change down there. Leave me. Let me die."

"Lord, you don't plan on causing that much trouble do you?"

"No, because I have read a decent amount of magi law." Never hurts when you could be thrown on trial, again. Forget that for now. There are more pressing matters to deal with. "I hope you told Nicki she can't come over here while we're gone."

"She really likes the cat."

It was times like these where I wondered if the humans were actually good people. Then I look at the things they've done, and remembered why I never went near them in the first place. "Sasha will be house sitting. Like she always does."

Halina puffed out some air, her cheeks getting big and small. "And the man of nothing finally gets off his ass."

"And the woman of something finally does what she wants," I said without much humor. "Don't make me depressed. I'm not in the mood."

"Oh ho, but the depression just makes you weak. The thing that every person needs more than life itself."

"Ah, then what will I do when I crack a smile?" I asked, curious at the response.

"Be in false pretenses, like the rest of us."

"Huh, so be it."

XXXX

The Man Who Dies For Fun, a man who fears naught, looked up at the stars. The night was deep, most asleep in their beds dreaming of emptiness. With a war coming, who is it that suffers? The rich? No, for they stay in the background, feeding money and lies into the frustration.

The poor? Yes, for they go to the front lines, dying for people who care little for their soldiers. The good people die for money and power. They die to supply victory with no reward.

And what of those who fight that have power? Do we suffer? Will I suffer? The answer is I don't know, because suffering is for all, but suffering comes at different levels. Those who lead watch their faithful soldiers die in droves, those soldiers watch their brothers and sisters die with loss in their hearts.

But those with power on the battlefield? They suffer by killing and killing, while never dying themselves. They watch as they massacre man after man, woman after woman, and cry silently, pathetically. You read about heroes who fight and destroy the villain without so much a negative emotion. The villain did a bad thing, so why must I remorse?

War is different. There are no villains when everyone is covered in blood and guts. Where the collective loneliness is mixed with dreadful defeat. There might be sides, but sides are meaningless when you're scared and alone.

This is going to see me become what exactly?

Nothing good, that's for sure.