Present...

"I've been sleeping with men, for money." I said watching him. The silence that followed after made me question if Cody had heard a word of what I had said.

"I said—"

"I heard." He interrupted, shifting in the chair uncomfortably. "If that's your ploy to make me hate you, you'll have to try a lot harder."

"It's not."

Maybe it is.. Damn it.

"Then why say it? Why do it?"

I swallow hard, realising he'd want answers now, answers that I wasn't sure I could answer.

"Was it for affection? Were you lonely? Is that where you went last night? Did you sleep with a man for money?"

"No. I was at.." What did I classify Zak? A friend? Acquaintance? Business partner? More?

"I was out with someone."

"And you had sex with them?"

I felt awful, as if I was cheating on him or doing him some wrong when in fact I am the only one in this room that been hurt beyond comprehension. None of this was my fault, it wasn't cheating, I thought he was dead.

"Yes." I answered watching his fist clench before he relaxed them.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Cody." I warned making his head fall into his hands.

"This is so fucked up. The idea...." He brings his hands away to clench them again. "It makes me feel sick. You being touched by another man makes me feel sick."

"As does knowing you're married to Cassie. Tell me, did you consummate that marriage?"

He looked at me before registering that I was now playing the card he just dealt me. "If we both feel like that then there is clearly something still between us. Leah, I still love you. I still want to be with you."

"You're married to another woman. You're raising her child as your own. If you loved me, you would have came back for me. You would have came to our home and knocked. Begged. Pleaded. Anything but set up another life."

"I thought you were happy." He answered. "I thought that you had the happy ever after that you wanted! Why would I come back to ruin that? I love you but I don't want you to be sad!"

"I spent 2 years mourning your death Cody! I cried myself to sleep! I tried to k—." I stopped and began to breath. "I lost everything.. You should have came back for me. But you didn't. That is on you.."

The months after his death were something of a blur, a deep depression, a dark mass that clouded my senses and consumed me entirely. I lost everything in those months. I was a shell.

"I was close to losing this..." I gestured to my home. "I was about to lose the last piece of you and it was destroying me. So I did what I had to. I couldn't sleep at night anyway. So a night time job was perfect and yeah, feeling wanted, even if it was by perverted men."

"You were desperate?" He whispered.

"Yes. Desperate to hold onto you... But whilst I was clinging to the fibres of what you were. You were playing house with another woman."

"I can explain this.."

"Go on then." I sit back and fold my arms.

"I was grieving."

"So was I, only difference is, I attended a funeral. I sat there and watched them carry a casket in, thinking it was you. I flinched every time those guns went off. I had flashbacks of us. Together. Happy. I endured it, alone because I thought you were in there. Gone. Forever. But for you? I was still living! I was happy as you say. Our grieving is completely different. Completely different."

"I know... But I also meant I was grieving for Trey. I had to go through counselling and the investigation. I was struggling to adapt back into normal life. The shit I saw on tour has scarred me. More than just physically."

My anger dissipated gently "I know you did. I used to sit with you through the flashbacks, the nightmares. Everything. I held you through the worst times.."

"I know.."

"I forgave you for everything you ever did. Smashing up the place, screaming at me, losing your temper. But this? Coming back with a band on your finger, telling me you're married? I can't get over that. Not when she's living the life I always wanted. It was meant to be me and you. Me and you against the world."

"Just me and you."

"Yes. We had plans, you were going to leave and we were going to travel, remember? You said you'd have got a job on the trash bins as long as it meant that you came home every night. But you didn't come back for me. You never came back for me."

"Just us."

"Yes."

He shifted in his seat, reaching down beside of the couch before sitting back. His hand appeared, causing the blood to drain from my face, as emotions broke through the dam I had constructed over the last year and a half. "And where did our baby fit into all this?" He asks, holding the ultrasound photo in his hand.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

Zak POV.

Bacon rose out of my office seat as I entered. For someone who arranged to meet me here, he looked a little surprised to see me.

"What's up man?" I asked trying to play it cool, whilst I calmed the fire in my body.

"I-I'm good... So, where is she?" He asked looking behind me as I closed the door.

"Who?"

"Whatever her name is. The one you're paying to bone."

I paused mid-step to send him a glare "Don't start."

His eyes widened "Don't tell me she's at your home? Dude! She could be robbing you! What the fuck?! Have you completely lost your mind?!"

"She's not like that." I defended, reminding myself exactly what she was like when we were together at the club. Like we were first thing when we woke up beside each other. Not so much when the reality of her ex being back surfaced. 

"Are you thinking with your head? Or your dick? I can't believe this man." He sighed before flunking down in the chair opposite my desk.

I sat on my chair and looked at him as he shook his head. Listening to him as he goes on about what a big mistake I was making. How stupid could I get, how ridiculous this was, how desperate I seemed.

"Why don't you worry about your own love life, rather than mine?"

His head whips up "L-love life? Ha!" He laughs making my eyes narrow. "Dude, have you been brainwashed? Has she put a curse on you or something? This isn't love, what you have with her isn't any kind of love. Just greed and lust. Women like her will take you for everything you have and leave you with just your bones. Nothing else." 

"You don't know her." I answered feeling the patience in me seep away.

"I don't need to know her. I know her type and I bet you any money she's with another guy right now." He challenged.

This time, I couldn't argue, I couldn't bite back a snide remark because he was right, she was with another guy. Her ex. The man who's put a spanner into the works since he slithered back on the scene, fucking up any chances between me and Leah. I hated, hated! How easy he could affect her.

I understood that she was confused right now, that emotions were high, but he had moved on. He had left her behind now, surely she could walk away. Or was that the problem? She needed to be the one to cut him away?

Would she even be stronger to do that? Probably not, and for that reason alone, I sank down in my seat. Letting the dark cloud look over my head and spoil what was a bright and lively morning into nothing but doom and gloom.

Maybe Bacon was right? Maybe I am losing my mind? I had to be to believe that she would pick me over the wonderful glorious Cody.