My thumb swipes across the phone screen, causing the messages to move up the screen. Each as heart breaking and as pleading as the last.

What really shook me was after two years, I never deleted his number. I never took the wolf emoji off his name. Because that really mattered didn't it, Leah? Idiot.

But he has always been my wolf, my protector, my comfort, my everything...

Even after all this time, after the hours and days that I suffered, it still hurt me to think I was inflicting pain on him now. How he sounded upset and desperate in his messages. How he pleaded for me to come home. To our home.

A soft knock made me look up from my phone. Zak was leant against the doorframe to the guest bedroom looking every part the model as he did last night when he was asleep. His black button down was teamed with black jeans and black shoes, all dark and all mysterious. I was jealous that he could look so good, but it was a positive jealousy.

"Has he tried ringing?" Zak asks crossing the room and settling on the bed beside me.

"Text a few times. I feel... I don't know." I shook my head as the guilt of thinking of him whilst Zak was beside me filled my body. I shut my phone off and gave him a smile.

"We ready to go?" I ask looking at him as he tilted his head watching me carefully.

I wasn't sure what he was thinking but something happened and he nodded almost disappointedly. "Yeah let's go."

.....

There were moments in the car journey when I forgot my problems. Forgot that my ex fiancé was sat at home. Occasionally I would lift my phone up to look at it, before putting it back down, not wanting to experience the hurt that came with checking it.

I had never been to his museum before, but he had told me all about it and I was not only curious to see the oddities and haunted items, I was also intrigued to learn about him. This was his life collection, placed on display, to share with the world.

However we never made it...

I looked at him confused as he stopped the car and turned it off. We were near a park and I was about to ask what was going on when I saw the name. It was the park near my home...

•••••••

Zak POV..

Life had a good way of kicking me in the balls. It seemed that the never ending cycle always caught up with me when I was happy. It's blow so fatal that it always took the wind out of my sails.

It started this morning...

After a hot and heavy morning, between the sheets with Leah, enjoying small chats, kissing and a few leading gropes, I noticed a changed. Leah had zoned out over breakfast, or any time she got a few seconds to herself. I had to repeat myself several times before answering me as if I had just asked her the first time.

She checked her phone... A lot, and I knew we lived in a technology filled world but she was constant.

She had moments when I was talking to her, and she switched off. A distant look coming across her face. Much like the one now. I was constantly fighting for her attention and maybe it was the neediness in me speaking, but the moments back at the club made me feel like the most important person in her life, however now, I can see it was all an act.

And it hurt like a bitch.

Sure she was happy to be here with me, but she wasn't really happy, she smiled but I could see the questions behind her eyes, the thoughts and moments processing over and over again.

I'd lost her. To a guy who's came back from the dead and fucked up our chance at whatever we were doing. This month was suppose to be fun, not painful.

Now I was doing the only thing I knew best, pushing her away..

"Go to him." I spoke as the engine cut off and I sat looking at the steering wheel.

She shifted in her seat "I don't want to."

I sighed and leant my head back against the headrest "You two have unfinished business, you have questions, I know you do."

Taking a glance over, her face had turned into a frown. "He... No. No I'm with you." She insisted.

"Leah. Go." I command watching her eyes shoot over to me with worry.

"But I... We planned a sleep over and–"

Shaking my head I closed my eyes, "You can still come over tonight.... If that's really want you want. But deep down. I don't think it is. I don't think you want this. You're just confused."

She opened her mouth to object when I continued.

"He came back and shocked the hell out of you. So you're clinging to the only thing that is consistent right now. Me.. You don't want me, not really."

"Yes I do." She argues sitting up to face me.

"Then tell me those messages that you looked at this morning didn't affect you, at all?"

"That's not fair. I thought he was dead, Zak. Be reasonable."

"I am.. Which is why you should go and sort it with him."

"There's nothing to sort. He left, he died, kinda and then came back and married someone else and is raising her child. He doesn't want me." She bit.

"But you want him..."

She frowned looking down at her phone "I did.. So bad. But now I'm confused and .. And maybe I am holding onto you but that's not for convenience, that's because I want to be with you. You make me feel wanted and safe and I haven't had that in a long time."

I listened carefully, letting her vent her frustrations and feelings, but all I could really hear was her settling for second best. Settling for me... Settling for something we were both unsure of.

Making my mind up, I decided that I wouldn't be responsible for her to miss a chance at her old life.

A heavy sigh left my chest, it was on of defeat. "I'm leaving you here. Walk through the park will help you decide what you want to say to him."

"Zak.."

"Please Leah." I urge lifting my hand up to silence her. "You're not you. Not really, and it's because of him. Sort it out and then come to me, if that's what you really want."

"But I know what I want."

"Place your hand on my heart and tell me that you don't harbour any feelings. Any at all.."

"You're not playing fair.." She whispered.

"And life isn't fair." I leant over and opened her car door. "Maybe I'll see you around."

She mumbled something, and slowly got out the car before leaning back in "I'm not leaving. This is you, pushing me away. You're leaving me here."

"It's not far from your home." I reason.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." She replies closing the door.

I sit back into my seat before starting the car engine. Our eyes meeting as I slowly reversed the car, only looking away when I saw the upset filling her face. I was a coward, but I couldn't let myself be hurt like this.

Standing in her summer dress, holding her jacket in her hands, I drove away, watching her shrink in the rear view mirror, knowing I've just fucked up any chance of something happening between us all together.

I wanted to stop the car, several times I wanted to stop and go back. Tell her I'm sorry that I'm pushing her away like this, leaving her utterly confused.  But I remembered the way her eyes lit up at the idea of Cody being alright. There was something there and I wouldn't be second best. Not for anyone....