"Will you let it be me?"

"I don't know," Kane replied tightly.

Reid didn't look pleased, but he didn't protest. He would, later; Kane didn't doubt it. Reid was still clutching his neck, fingers bloody, and Kane's stomach churned at the sight.

"It's healing," Reid assured. Then he pouted, cheeks flushed. "You bit me like you wanted my jugular for dinner. I'm serious. No more blood for you, bad boy."

"I'll fucking smother you."

"Please do," Reid snapped. "I might get a good night's sleep then."

Kane winced. He did wake Reid up. He deserved a few jibes.

"This... it doesn't mean I'm turning." Kane scoffed at Reid's glare. "I was addicted to your blood, idiot. It's only been a few weeks. I'm still struggling."

"Oh..." Reid winced. "Maybe that's all this was."

"Maybe."

They stared at each other, a heaviness in the air.

Hannah's soft fingers settled over Kane's, squeezing. "What can I do?"

"A few things," Kane rasped.

Hannah must have heard the huskiness in his tone because she smiled hotly. "I could help." Her hand settled on his shoulder, nearing. "I would love to."

She was close enough that Kane could easily catch her sweet mouth with his, but he was distracted by Reid staring at his lap.

"Eyes up here," Kane growled. When Reid kept staring, Kane grabbed the blanket and dragged it over his lower half. "I could bite you again. Ow. Ow. Ow. Right? Want more of those?"

"While you're hard?" Reid asked, disturbed. He drew his knees up, locking them together, like Kane was about to burglarize him or some shit.

Kane grimaced. He was hard during the whole crazy bloodlust thing a moment ago, but he wasn't about to admit it. "You're the one staring!"

"Because it's practically pointing at me!"

"Stop calling it an 'it'!"

"You want me to say, your penis?"

They both grimaced, unsettled.

Okay. It was better.

Kane grumbled, "Just don't talk about it."

"Gladly," Reid snapped, but his eyes betrayed him, flickering to Kane's lap again.

Surging up, Kane snatched a pillow and shoved it against Reid's face. "Die!" He heard Reid whimper about molestation but didn't stop, snarling.

He kept suffocating the moron until he heard Hannah laughing.

Dropping the pillow, Kane glanced over his shoulder. Hannah's eyes were watering, her cheeks were flushed, and she was choking on her laughter. He couldn't help but smile. She'd never looked more beautiful.

Reid sat up slowly, laughing a little. "What's so funny?"

"Kane...." Hannah forced out, past laughs. "He just attacked you. And now you're both fighting like morons as if nothing has changed." Tears dampened in her eyes, and he didn't think they were just from amusement anymore. "I... I love you both."

Reid beamed. "I love you, too." He added quickly, "More than Kenneth!" He grunted at Kane's hard punch to his shoulder, falling onto the bed and whimpering dramatically.

The blood drying on Reid's neck caught Kane's gaze like a beacon, and the only reason he didn't move closer was because Hannah gripped his sleeve. Her brown eyes held him hostage, and he forgot about his want for blood, his desire for her overshadowing everything else.

He rose to his knees, hunting her, and his lips found hers.

"I love you," Kane murmured against her mouth.

Hannah smiled, draping her arms around his nape, pulling him against her and deepening their kiss. His fingers skimmed her side, grazing her breast, devouring her soft sigh.

She probably tasted Reid's blood, and it shouldn't, but the idea gave him a thrill of heat.

He threw a hand out, palm finding Reid's soft cheek and slapping gently, trying to coax the moron into leaving.

The sharp pain of fangs nicking his fingers startled him, and the wet lap of an eager tongue blanked his thoughts. He couldn't lie. It felt good. Mixed with the kissing, the molten rush through his blood made him hotter than ever.

Since after that shower, weeks ago, he hadn't been bitten.

But right now, he needed Reid to vamoose, or the idiot was going to see a lot more than it. Kane was about to lose control again, but it wasn't for blood this time; the woman in his arms was making him nearly feral.

Pulling away from Hannah's addicting mouth, her lips found his neck, kissing and nipping. He cupped the back of her head and glared at Reid, who was focused on chasing Kane's bleeding hand with his mouth while it was swatting at him like he was a buzzing fly.

Kane's aching palm caught Reid's chin.

'Go,' he mouthed.

"What if you go crazy again?" Reid whispered, shoving Kane's hand away.

"I won't. I'm fine now." He wasn't lying. The void he hadn't known was left in his stomach had been filled. He felt giddy, strong, more alive than he had in weeks.

The wound on Reid's neck hadn't healed completely, and staring at it caused a cold realization to settle over Kane. His fingers tightened in Hannah's hair involuntarily. She stopped mouthing at his neck but didn't move away, breathing against his skin.

"I heard you talking in your sleep," Kane revealed tightly.

Reid's eyes widened. "Oh..."

"I saw your stomach."

"What?" Reid asked, blinking rapidly. He clenched his shirt with shaking fingers, as if holding the fabric tight enough would heal the wounds they both knew were beneath.

"What happened?" Kane's heart pounded in his chest.

"I, uh, did it."

"No, you didn't." His breath was coming quicker. "Don't lie."

Reid's gaze was so blue and so miserable. "I'm not lying."

"I know it was Lucas."

"No," Reid said hastily. "It was me. I promise."

Kane's blood ran cold. "Why did you hurt yourself?"

"It helps."

"What?"

"My sanity."

"That's such bullshit."

Hannah drew back, staring into Kane's eyes intensely. She was wholly confused, and he didn't blame her. He was being cruel, hated himself for it, but couldn't stop.

"You're hurt?" Hannah asked Reid gently. "You can have some of my blood. I don't mind."

Reid smiled at her sheepishly. "Thanks—"

"He doesn't need it," Kane interjected angrily. "If he wants to hurt himself, he should have to deal with the consequences."

"Yeah," Reid whispered, mouth trembling.

The ease with which Reid agreed to suffer made Kane sick to his stomach, especially after hearing Reid's disturbing sleep-talking.

Kane didn't mean to snap, but his anger got the best of him. He glared, and Reid flinched. "Get out."

"If you just let me explain—"

"Get the fuck out."

"Kane," Hannah whispered in shock.

The glare Reid gave him was dark, and then the idiot was off the bed, stalking through the bedroom. Reid ignored Hannah calling after him, and if it weren't the middle of the night, from the tenseness of his muscles, he'd have slammed the door shut behind him.

"Hey," Hannah whispered, but Kane was already pulling away. She tried to keep him on the bed, fingers grasping his wrist, but he shook her off, moving to the bathroom with a focused mind.

"I'm going for a shower," Kane said gruffly, his eyes burning.

He didn't look back because he was on a thin string of self-control and was about to break. He was barely keeping it together. All the stress weighing on him was finally buckling his knees, and he was close to staggering under the overwhelming ache in his head.

As he slipped into the en-suite bathroom, he heard Hannah murmur, "What just happened?"

He barely closed the door when his legs decided they wanted to be traitors and to stop working. His palm slapped the vanity, but it didn't stop his descent. His knees hit the floor, and the only thing keeping him from meeting the tiling face-first was his shaking fingers gripping the vanity's cold edge.

The door creaked open. The light was switched on. "Kane?"

Humiliating was an understatement. He wasn't injured, but he felt worse than every time he'd been wounded, even mortally. This was pain so deep he was pressing his face against his arm and trying futilely to keep from drowning when he was already beneath the surface, treading the waters of despair.

"What's happening?" Hannah whispered, dropping to her knees and touching his back. She was murmuring to him, and he latched onto her voice, past the overwhelming guilt robbing his breath and ringing in his ears.

"Talk to me," Hannah coaxed. "What's going on?"

"If I turn, I'm going to lose my mother's magic."

"Vampires don't..."

"No."

"I'm sorry."

Those two words made him want to bash his head on the vanity. They were final. Nothing could be done. And he knew it, but he still hoped that he could fight biology, do what Reid couldn't, and beat vampirism.

He knew there was a chance he was fucked the moment he learned about his father. But he wouldn't give up. He had Milton now. Together, they might be able to find a way to stop the change.

But that wasn't what was drowning him.

"It's my fault," he gasped.

"What is?"

"Reid."

"No," Hannah said fiercely. "He makes his own choices. You can't kill yourself trying to save him. He has to want to be helped."

Kane laid his cheek against his arm. His fingers that held the vanity shook. "No. It's my fault." He didn't look at her, staring at the rim of the toilet bowl. "He wasn't always like this. Even with Gabriel and all that shit, he was stubborn. He made plans for us to run away together. He had ambitions and dreams. But when his mom died, that changed. He was the one who found her."

Hannah's palm rubbed his back soothingly. "And he's been keeping that pain for so long." She exhaled shakily. "How can we help him? That kind of trauma doesn't go away."

"It does," Kane whispered.

The hand on his back stilled.

"Turn on the shower," he said quietly.

He was grateful when she did it without asking why. When the sound of the falling water silenced their voices, he shut his burning eyes, finding strength in the darkness to continue.

"The morning he found her," Kane whispered, letting go of the vanity. "I don't know what he witnessed. An ambulance was already there when we arrived."

"She was..."

"No," Kane replied tightly. "But she had been. That's what Reid had claimed, but getting anything out of him was difficult. He was in shambles." His eyes opened, and when he glanced at Hannah, she had silent tears slipping down her cheeks. "He wouldn't have survived whatever he had seen. He begged me to make him forget."

Hannah's expression morphed from confusion to horror in seconds. She shook her head, and he nodded, barely holding back a scream. He had been carrying this for so many years.

Not even Milton knew.

"I was an idiot," Kane rasped. "He was so broken, and I wanted to help however I could. So I cast a spell. Memories aren't something you mess with. I had no idea what I was doing. I managed to get rid of the memory, whatever had him clawing the skin from his face, but I fucked up."

"How?" Hannah whispered shakily.

"He didn't forget the feeling. He's carried it since. The drugs, the sex, the self-destruction. Now, he's hurting himself. He cut himself, Hannah, badly." Her mouth trembled, and he had to blink away the intense burn taking his eyes. "He's been trying to fill a void I caused. Now they want to try a dispel magic ritual on him, and I'm afraid..."

He admitted it. He's afraid.

Fuck.

No, he's terrified.

"There's a chance that it'll give him his memory back, and he'll break."

"Or, he might heal," Hannah said, her voice trembling slightly. Her soft hand found Kane's, entangling their fingers. "Maybe he's ready to face whatever he saw and move on."

Kane hoped that was true. "He won't ever forgive me."

"He asked you to remove the memory, didn't he?"

"He was vulnerable. If he begged me for drugs, I would have said, fuck no. So, why did I say yes, then? I knew messing with memories could fuck someone up."

"You said yes because you love him."

"I should've said no."

Hannah shook her head. "Not everything he's done can be linked back to that moment. He hears those voices. Who knows how they're influencing him? They're twisted. That's what he claimed. The vampirism doesn't help either. Stop blaming yourself."

Kane sighed, slumping against the cabinet. "That night. He hated himself. He was going to take a gun to his head. He's kept that self-hatred since then."

"We have to tell Reid. He deserves to know."

"No." Kane thumped the back of his head against the vanity. "He can't handle it."

"Kenneth Rainer," Hannah said sternly, her chocolate gaze wet with tears. "How do you know what he can and can't handle if you never let him try?"

The training in the woods this afternoon hit him like a punch to his gut. Kane hadn't held back, and Reid had done surprisingly well. Reid had taken hits and given them, painfully novice, but he had potential. And Reid had only begun kicking ass when Kane had stopped holding back. He'd seen Reid's blue eyes become more confident, and by the end, Kane, a few times, had to seriously work to avoid getting his bones broken by the kitten with the strength of a lion who was swinging a stick at him.

Hannah was right.

He needed to believe in Reid. How did he expect Reid to believe in himself otherwise?

"I should've broken the spell long ago," Kane admitted tightly. He pulled Hannah's hand, coaxing her to sit on his lap, and she did, with a soft smile. His fingers splayed against her lower back, holding her close. "But I didn't have you." The back of his hand caressed her flushed cheek. "I don't know how I survived without you for so long."

Hannah smiled prettily. "If I'm your voice of reason, will you listen to me once more?"

Kane nodded.

"This whole Lucas and Reid thing we're all pretending isn't happening..." She must have felt him tense because she ran her fingers through his hair, nails scratching his scalp gently, lulling him into docility. "Reid loves Rowan. I see how he looks at her, but don't expect him to give Lucas up, even if he regains his memories. Reid...is Reid."

Kane sighed. "I know."

"Good. Now, I'm going to tell you something else—you won't want to hear it."

The enticing rise of her lips pulled his gaze. Then, the deep brown of her eyes drew it back. His palm settled on her thigh, fingers slipping beneath the hem of her sleep shorts.

"Say it," he whispered huskily.

"You don't have to carry the world on your shoulders. We're all in this together. Okay? You can't do everything on your own. Let other people take some of the burden. And get some damn sleep, Kane. Don't think I haven't noticed you stay up late every night."

"I need to find a way to help Reid."

"And I need you to take care of yourself."

"I'm fine."

"No, hun," Hannah said softly, her gaze soulful. "You're not."

Heart pounding in his chest, he gripped her hair, dragging her into a deep kiss and quieting her before she said too much and made him recognize everything he'd been suppressing. Not on a bathroom floor at two in the morning.

She must not have expected his tongue to delve between her lips because she gave him a sweet gasp of surprise.

His fingers slid between her thighs, and she moaned against his mouth. He needed her naked. Tugging at the hem of her shirt, he pulled it over her head. Then, without prompting, she shifted, dragging her shorts and underwear off.

He didn't give her a chance to settle back onto his lap, gripping her thighs and rising to stand with her in his arms.

Setting her onto the edge of the vanity, he was reminded of their first kiss. Back in that warehouse, after fighting that vampire. He'd wanted to take her then and there, hard, never having felt so hot for a woman in his life. She hadn't cowered against a century-old vampire who'd got the jump on them. She'd shot the asshole, beat his entrancement, and saved Kane's life.

He had been in love since that day.

Catching her mouth in a deep kiss, her fingers fell to his belt, unfastening the clasp, just like that day. But this time, he wasn't going to pull away. She was his. Even if Valrus kept trying to sow doubt by telling Kane they'd kissed in the forest a week ago. But Kane didn't question that Hannah had pushed the bastard away.

He trusted her.

He wanted to.

He needed to.

Because he couldn't imagine his life without her.

Soft fingers shimmied his jeans down and slipped into his boxers, cheekily stroking him a few times. He pushed his hips against her hand, groaning. At her soft laugh, he cupped her cheeks and nipped at her lips.

"You can bite me," Hannah whispered heatedly.

Kane licked her mouth, jaw and down to the curve of her neck. He heard her breathing pick up. Her back arched against him, pliant to his teeth grazing her skin teasingly.

"Not today," he rumbled against her ear, gripping her thigh, coaxing her to spread her legs. "But one day, I want you to be my companion."

Hannah tugged his hair, forcing him to look at her. Her eyes were dilated with lust, and her smile was wide, dimpling her cheeks. "You're sure?"

"Yeah," Kane replied without hesitation. He snorted. "I guess I should ask you to marry me first, huh?"

"Probably," Hannah said, biting her lip. "Asking me to be your blood companion for hundreds of years jumps a few important steps."

Kane laughed. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes."

"I don't have a ring."

"Who cares?" Hannah gasped, her gaze watery. "Take me to a chapel any day. I'm yours." She didn't give him a chance to respond, gripping his biceps and tugging him closer. "But right now, fuck me."

Kane laughed gruffly. That was definitely not how proposals were supposed to go, but that was why he fell in love with this woman. She made his head spin and drove him insane.

He took himself in hand, breathing faster, anticipating what was to come, sending a shiver up his spine.

"Because you're asking so nicely," he rasped.

The broken noise Hannah made when he pushed into her without gentleness would be on replay on his loneliest nights—her back arching and releasing little gasps. Her body was perfect, hot, tight, pulling him in, and he let her with a gutted groan.

Her arms clung to him. He kept his pace slow and indulgent. The fast rise of her breasts fell against his chest. But when he held her against him, it wasn't just to protect her from the world like all the other times he'd taken her. He was clinging to the comfort her closeness gave, smelling her hair and the scent of her skin. 

He listened to her soft moans and quick gasps and nearly liked them more than her screams of pleasure. Her fingers ran through his hair, down his nape, then back again.

His gaze burned.

For tonight, he held the woman he loved and let himself play the fool and pretend they could win. That he could protect her and everyone he cared about. That come winter there wouldn't be so much death littering that battlefield that the mere idea of it kept him awake at all hours of the night.

He wanted to fantasize.

So he did.

For a little while.