"Could you please pour us some tea, Winifred?" Dean Fogg requested of his secretary as he sat across the desk from Quentin. The middle-aged woman obliged with a curt nod, turning away from the two and conjuring up a piping hot pot of tea. "Could you get to the point, Quentin? I have a trustees meeting," Fogg complained, accepting the cup of tea and sipping it contently, Quentin sighed in irritation.

"You know something about what's been going on here," Quentin accused, "I would like to know what it is."

"I know you would, but we are done. Winifred, please show Mr. Coldwater out," Fogg pushed himself from his chair as Winifred approached the heavy wooden desk. To the Dean's surprise, instead of ushering Quentin from the room, the woman took up a position blocking him from leaving the office.

"How did you lose your virginity?" Quentin inquired, unalarmed by Winifred's actions.

"I was twenty-four years old. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. She was considerably older than I and, oh, much, much more experienced, but..." he blurted, Quentin smiled mischievously, knowing their plan had worked. To Fogg's utter bewilderment, Winifred held the same look of satisfaction. "Fuck! You've managed to dose me, haven't you? In my tea, you little shit," the men watched as Winifred's skin gradually morphed into the face of the Illusionist. "Lilly, I should've known. Truth serum is toxic and banned." Lilly waited until Fogg returned to his seat, before joining Quentin on the opposite side.

"If you were going to throw magic at us, you would've done so already, but you haven't."

"Eliza...who is she?" Lilly asked. The question had been weighing on her for quite some time now, fueled by the mysterious gift of the clock necklace.

"Eliza's real name is Jane Chatwin."

"Holy- are you serious?" Lilly gaped, Quentin sat spluttering out half sentences. She reached up to grip the necklace Eliza had given her. The truth gave it new meaning.

"I'm on truth serum, of course I'm serious, Lilly."

"Okay," Quentin managed to pull himself together after a moment of total astonishment, "what does Jane have to do with The Beast?"

"Do you remember the gift that Jane was given in the book, 'The Girl Who Told Time'?"

"Uh, yeah, Umber gave her a watch and--"

"This necklace," Lilly cut Quentin off and held out the clock key for them all to see, Fogg nodded.

"Ember gave her the ability to fuck with time on a cosmic scale, and Jane used it to create a time loop. When she'd fail to stop The Beast, she'd restart the loop."

"A time loop, okay," Quentin rubbed his hands across his face, a telltale sign of his growing anxiety, "so what do we have to do with The Beast?" Lilly fought a surge of dreadful thoughts. How many times had she had this very conversation? How many times had she died?

"Why us?" Lilly echoed, running her fingers through her blonde locks.

"Well, in Quentin's case, he simply keeps getting involved."

"I don't keep doing anything," Quentin deflected, but Dean Fogg continued without pause.

"His interest in Lilly, however, is much more personal," Lilly's eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment. She opened her mouth to inquire further, but the Dean had already begun to speak, "can you imagine how many times we've had this exact conversation? You've managed to slip truth serum to me twenty-seven times, twenty-seven ways, and frankly, I'm quite sick of it."

"Sorry, we're such an inconvenience to you," Lilly hissed.

"So what? This is some giant, blood-soaked, 'Groundhog Day'?"

"You always bring up that fucking movie." Fogg chuckled dryly to himself, though neither student found it particularly funny.

"Answer my question," Quentin commanded.

"In each loop, Jane alters something to see if it'll change the outcome," Fogg leaned across the table, irritation bubbling up inside him and seeping into his speech. "The sigil that appeared on your hand and the glass horse Jane gave you, brought you both to Alice. That was Jane trying to get the ball rolling, trying to get you all together, working fast, and we all know how well that particular great idea worked out, don't we?"

"So, has anything actually helped?"

"So far, all the loops end in your death or some variation of a shitty ending for everyone."

"How many times have we died?" Lilly whispered, disbelieving.

"For you, twenty-three. Quentin, thirty-nine," their jaws dropped, "if you die this time, at least I won't have to hear you ask me this question ever again. Jane's dead. The Loop's done. There's no one to reset it." Lilly felt a weight settle in her chest. There was no safety net this time around. Everything that happened would be final.

"What's different this time?" Quentin questioned, unsure if he wanted to know the answer. Dean Fogg leaned back in his desk chair.

"Julia."

➺➺➺➺

She felt the rough surface of the parchment between her fingers. The sweeping calligraphy scrawled across the envelope depicted her name. She could almost hear Jane's voice, like a whisper on the wind. Her hands shook as she tore open the seal, the ripping the only sound in her vacant bedroom. Quentin had gone off to find Julia, a decision Lilly was less than fond of after what she'd done with the Matarese last year. Though, now she was thankful he'd gone off without her. She didn't want him around when she read this, especially after their spat. The folded letter slid out easily, the same familiar calligraphy filled every inch of the page, front, and back. The ink had bled in places, caused by what looked to be teardrops. Lilly's heart clenched in anticipation of what answers it may hold. She knew, without a doubt, that this was the moment Jane had wanted her to wait for. She took a trembling breath and scanned the contents.

My Dear Lilly,

This is not at all how I intended to have this conversation, but my life has never gone according to plan, has it? If you're reading this, that means I'm gone, for good this time. From the moment I met you, I knew you were special. Not only are you brighter than most Magicians twice your age, but you are kind, and unwilling to stand by and let others suffer for naught. I assume you know by now that I am not who I claimed to be. I hope you have it in your heart to forgive me for all the secrets I've withheld.

When I was a child, Fillory was my only escape from an abusive household and mundane life. As time went on, I spent more and more time there. I abandoned everything I knew before, even things I would come to regret. When I was eighteen, I had fully disappeared into the world of Fillory, but unbeknownst to me, my selfishness had created a monster, one who would tear my world apart, The Beast. I did everything in my power to prevent him from choosing the path he did, but in the end, the only person who could help him was himself.

Amid my quest to stop The Beast, I encountered a young man, a Shifter. He helped me track The Beast and attempt to kill him. Clearly, we were unsuccessful. We may not have stopped The Beast, but we fell in love along the way. By the time we found The Beast, it was too late. We fled to the Shifter village. The Beast would never let me go and The Shifters were too powerful for him to leave unchecked. As much as I wished I could remain, The Beast would never stop hunting me, my presence in the village would have only made them a bigger target. I returned to Earth, closing off every known portal between our worlds. I do not know what became of my love, nor his people. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and the life we could have had together.

I settled in London, using every available resource to find a way to stop The Beast. For a Hedge Witch in the sixties, it was nearly impossible. It wasn't until I realized I was pregnant, that things truly became hopeless. It took every bit of strength I had left to put that baby up for adoption. She had his looks, his perfect smile. Saying goodbye to her broke me. The Beast took everything good in my life and crushed it.

You can imagine my joy and terror when twenty-three years later, she enrolled in Brakebills. I'd tried everything to keep her from magic, yet there she was, so close to danger. I could never bring myself to approach her, but I was always watching over her. In the end, I couldn't protect her either. She and her friends found a way into Fillory, a portal that I missed. The Beast knew immediately who she was. He killed her friends and tried to take her away from me. By some miracle, she was able to escape, but she was never the same. She swore off magic and had her own baby girl, a girl named Lilly.

The secrets I've kept from you and Evelyn were never intended to hurt you. I only ever wanted to protect the people I love. I regret that I wasn't able to be there for either of you as I should've been. I only hope that you can forgive me for burdening you with the consequences of my mistakes. Know that I love you and that I am never truly gone, we will meet again, I'm sure of it.

All my love,

Jane Chatwin

She didn't know how many times she reread the letter, only that no matter how many times she did, it never made the information more digestible. Her eyes were glued to the page, unblinking. A thick lump had formed in her throat, and a cold sweat broke out across her brow. A million and one thoughts bounced around her brain, refusing to assemble into anything comprehensible. Lilly had no idea how to process this revelation. Never once had this possibility crossed her mind. Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse.

She was a Chatwin, her mother was a Chatwin. Lilly's heart clenched at the fact that Jane had written this without the knowledge that her daughter would be brutally murdered along with her. Lilly wondered if that was to be her fate as well. It seemed to be a family curse to die young. She shook her head with a sigh, flopping back onto her mattress, her hair splayed around her. Screaming into the closest pillow, she released her frustration and grief for a moment. She wished she had the luxury of time. Lilly chuckled humorlessly at the irony. She'd lived and died twenty-three times, and it still wasn't enough.

Every cryptic remark Eliza had made clicked into place. This was the reason she'd known so much about Shifters. This was why she cared. Lilly gripped the key necklace, it'd become a nervous tick of hers to reach for it. It brought a bit of stability to her tumultuous life. She'd never known what it was like to have grandparents. It had always been just her and her mother. The relationship Lilly had with Eliza was maternal, and she supposed that was the closest they would ever get. She was gone now, before she even got to know her. Laying there, staring at the ceiling, she wished more than anything to speak with her one more time. She had no family left. She was completely and utterly alone, The Chatwins were all dead now, and she was the only living descendant.

A gentle knock sounded at her bedroom door. Lilly groaned, dragged herself over to it, and swung it open. The moment she saw who it was, she was overwhelmed with the urge to slam it closed again.

"Hey," Julia's face scrunched up when she spoke, her body instinctively recoiling. Lilly didn't respond, she'd been taught from a young age, that if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. She definitely wasn't thinking happy thoughts when she saw Julia. She turned without a word, perching herself atop the arm of her couch with crossed arms, raising one eyebrow expectantly. Quentin was the first to enter, Julia following close behind, "look, I know you aren't happy with me--"

"I think I'm a little more than unhappy," Lilly glared, the hostility mounting between them. Julia sighed, trying to keep herself calm.

"I understand why, I haven't made the best impression. After I left the entry test, I remembered everything that happened. I went crazy, trying to find even a drop of magic. It does something to you, it's like some sort of drug."

"Am I just supposed to just ignore the fact that you tried to kill Quentin?" Lilly pursed her lips.

"I didn't know what I was doing, that was all Marina. Look, I got mixed up with the wrong crowd. I was in a bad place the last time we met. I was desperate and angry, that's not who I am. Please, just give me a chance to prove it." Julia's pleading eyes stared her down, waiting in silence for her deliberation.

"I don't like it. We can't afford to be taking chances, Quentin. It's all of our lives on the line, not just ours," Lilly was exasperated with both of them, and she wasn't shy about it.

"I trust her, and we need all the help we can get. I think this is exactly the time to take risks," Lilly sighed, pushing herself up and approaching Julia. She stopped mere inches from her, staring emotionlessly into her eyes. Julia held her head high.

"She's your responsibility," Quentin nodded. Lilly directed her next words to Julia, "if you do anything to sabotage this mission or hurt my friends, I will not hesitate to take you out," she threatened. There was no bluff in her voice, she meant every word.

"I won't, I promise," Lilly nodded, taking a step back, "I think, maybe, we should start over," Julia held out a tanned hand between them, "I'm Julia," Lilly eyed the appendage warily as if assessing whether it was going to shoot out and bite her. Hesitantly, she reached her hand out to meet her.

"Lilly."

"It's nice to meet you, Lilly," Quentin cleared his throat emphatically, breaking up the tense moment.

"We need to talk about what to do," he pointed out, and Lilly hummed in agreement.

"There's something you need to know first," Lilly snatched Jane's letter from the bed where she'd discarded it previously. She handed it to Quentin, who scanned its contents. By the time he'd finished, his eyes were as wide as saucers.

"You're a Chatwin?"

"Evidently."

"Holy shit!" He ran his fingers hastily through his shaggy hair, "this is insane."

"Yeah, it is, but we have more important things to worry about right now," Lilly deflected. She didn't know why, but she wasn't ready to talk about it with anyone, let alone these two. It seemed that some part of her wasn't wholly willing to believe it, even though Jane's explanation rang true.

"But, this is--"

"I think I know who may be able to help," Lilly grabbed her things once more, leaving no room for discussion and ushering them out the door. They located her in about half an hour. It wasn't hard if you knew where she liked to hang out. The Library was a ghost town except for the lone woman pouring herself over a stack of books.

"So, let me get this straight," Ava held up an accusatory finger, "you two screwed up and fell back through the portal. Then, you found out Eliza was really Jane Chatwin, your Grandmother, and you've been in a time loop thirty-nine times, and you've never succeeded. Now you want me to help you get back to the place where a mass-murdering beast is trying to kill you?"

"Well, when you say it like that, we sound insane," Quentin mumbled, and Ava raised a condescending eyebrow in his direction.

"That's because you are insane."

"You're right," Lilly sighed, resting her head in her hands, "this is never going to work. I don't know why I thought you could do it."

"Oh, no," Ava piped up, "I can do it. I just wanted to rub it in a little first. Come on," Ava closed up her books, and Lilly couldn't keep her eyes from rolling. They followed the Knowledge student through the maze of towering bookshelves until they halted before an ancient-looking door. Lilly had never noticed it before, which was odd, considering how much time she'd spent in the library. Ava silently began casting. It was similar to an average lock picking spell, but the finger movements were changed slightly, more complex. A soft click sounded from the door and Ava pushed it open.

"What spell was that?"

"It's just something I whipped up last semester," she said casually, not sparing a glance back as she led them into the room. Upon first glance, it seemed to be an abandoned storage closet. Piles of dusty papers were stacked higher than Lilly's head, and arbitrary objects covered the heavy wooden table in the center. The beams of sunlight leaking through the bits of the window not blocked by boxes, illuminated clouds of sparkling dust floating through the air.

"Are we supposed to be seeing something?" Julia's voice sounded from behind Lilly, Ava scoffed.

"I wouldn't expect a Hedge to understand," The snarky remark ruffled Julia's feathers, but Lilly was definitely on Ava's side, "these objects are called chronology breakers. They can transport you back to a fixed point in time. All you need to do is find a portal to Fillory before they were all destroyed."

"I've heard of these," Julia examined a rusty typewriter with awe, "they used some tiny piece of an incredibly rare element. It all got used up by the seventies."

"Huh, she's not entirely illiterate, who would've thought?" Ava mused, earning a glare from the Hedge Witch and a hidden smirk of amusement from Lilly. "Get to work, check the dates logged on their forms," she ordered. Lilly scanned each object's specifications. Thankfully, the reports were greatly detailed, giving them a better sense of where the portal would spit them out.

"'Bridge to Ancient Rome', 'bridge to cretaceous period'," Quentin listed off. "Oh, hey, here's one, 'Southhampton, England 1912'?" The surrounding women shared amused expressions.

"The voyage of The Titanic," Julia pointed.

"It's like these people were asking to die," Lilly mumbled.

"Wait a minute," Julia called out from across the room, "here's a thesis. A bunch of students wanted to go back and kill Hitler," Ava scoffed as they gathered around the Hedge.

"And this is why idiots shouldn't be allowed at Brakebills," Lilly nodded in agreement.

"Guess no one told 'em Hitler was a pretty serious battle Magician?"

"Yup, Hitler killed them all."

"Wait, what's the date on that time bridge?" Quentin asked.

"Uh, it's April 19, 1942," Julia supplied, and a light bulb went off in Quentin's brain.

"You remember in, uh, 'The Flying Forest', Jane's going into town, uh, yeah, she's looking for a present for Martin," he turned away, crouching down and removing the book from his bag. He packed them in case of an emergency on their trip to Fillory. Lilly could only imagine how heavy it was. He flipped through the pages until he settled on a drawing of a young Jane entering a telephone booth that doubled as a portal to Fillory, "April 21st, 1942."

"Two days after this time bridge," Lilly whispered. They had found their key to Fillory.

"Holy shit, Q, this could work!" Julia exclaimed, turning to face her friend.

"Well," Ava clapped her hands together, "on that note, I'm getting back to work. After all, if you screw up again, I gotta save the world." Ava headed for the door. Lilly hurried into the hall after her and grabbed Ava's wrist.

"Wait," Ava turned, eyeing the point where their skin touched with displeasure, and Lilly dropped it hastily, "I need you to promise me that you won't let them come after me. If I don't make it, I need to know that they'll be okay. Make sure they let me go," Ava nodded gravely, her eyes understanding, a silent promise that she would do as Lilly asked.

"Don't die."

"Wasn't planning on it."

Three chapters left!!! What do you think of that bombshell? I know it's kinda cliche to have Lilly be related to the Chatwins, but trust me, this plays a big part in book 2. It will not suck, I promise! I planted so many subtle hints to this throughout the book so hopefully this makes sense to you guys. Please let me know what you think and give me some feedback!