"Ava?" Lilly pushed open the front door of the townhouse in a frenzy.

"In here!" Lilly and Alex rushed ahead, Evelyn close behind. As they rounded the corner, they caught sight of an unconscious Penny sprawled across the living room floor, Ava bent over him in a state of panic. Lilly knelt beside him and checked his pulse. Ava's wild eyes met hers.

"What happened?" Alex cooed, rubbing Ava's back as she attempted to calm her breathing.

"He was fine, everything was fine, he just collapsed."

"Ava, think," Lilly commanded, "did he do or say anything strange."

"No-no, he was just trying to keep himself distracted. He took some Advil a while ago, but that wouldn't have done anything." Lilly's fished through Penny's pockets. Phone, wallet, it wasn't until she checked the back pocket of his jeans that she felt the alien object. She pulled out a small plastic baggie, filled with various colorfully dyed tablets and capsules, none of which were Advil.

"Shit, we have to get him back to school, now!" Lilly tried to haul Penny up on her own, but Alex stepped in, lifting him over his shoulder with a grunt. Penny's arms dangled lifelessly towards the floor.

"Do you have the Portkey?" Evelyn asked, to which Lilly nodded, pulling the portal from her pocket. The object resembled that of a garage door opener. It would've been entertaining in less dire circumstances. The whirling circle formed between them, and the front door, morphing into a perfect picture of Dean Fogg's office. Ava and Alex darted through right away with Penny. Lilly was about to follow when she realized Evelyn hadn't moved.

"Aren't you coming?" Her mother shook her head.

"I've done all I can, Brakebills isn't my place anymore," she gave her daughter a melancholy smile.

"Thank you, for everything," Lilly pulled her mother into a tight, loving hug, "I love you, mom"

"I love you too, darling," she pulled back, patting Lilly's cheek affectionately, "stay safe."

"I will," she promised, pulling together a small smile. With that, Lilly hurried through the portal after her friends, never looking back. They rushed to the infirmary as quickly as possible. Dean Fogg had already alerted the healers, and they were prepared to take him as soon as they arrived.

"What do you mean we can't go through?" Lilly protested as the healing student blocked her path.

"No one besides healers are allowed in. Your friend's in critical condition, we can't have any non-essential personnel interfering. It could cost him his life," the young man's voice was strict and final. All three huffed in resignation.

"Damn it," Alex cursed. Lilly gave the device they'd bought at the market to Sunderland, and the professor promised to administer it as soon as possible. Twenty four minutes and thirty-nine seconds later, Lilly paced back and forth across her room in the Illusionist castle.

"Could you not? You're driving me crazy," Ava lay draped sideways across the cushy armchair, legs dangling over the armrest. Lilly begrudgingly flopped down atop her mattress face first. The lavender-scented comforter muffled her groan.

Alex stared in silent contemplation at his best friend sprawled across the four-poster bed. The canopy was neatly tied to each post, and looking around at the meticulously designed room, it was hard to believe it belonged to the mess of a woman before him. His fingers plucked at the fringe ended blanked on the armrest of his chair. His tongue itched to speak the words flying around his head, but something was tugging at his mind. It took quite a bit of effort for him to articulate the sentence.

"Why didn't you tell me?" For a moment, nothing happened, Lilly remained face first on the mattress. Ava watched the exchange with mild curiosity, but Alex knew her well enough to know she wanted to know the answer just as much as he did. A resounding sigh could be heard before Lilly rolled herself onto her back and assumed a sitting position against the headboard. Her hair resembled a bird's nest, but she didn't correct it, something that didn't go unnoticed by Alex.

"It wasn't something I wanted to burden you with, the more people involved, the more people with targets on their backs," her voice held a hint of shame behind it.

"Dani and I, we're your best friends. Best friends tell each other when they're being hunted by a moth faced beast!"

"You didn't tell us you were dating Ava."

"Don't turn this around on me, this is completely different, and you know it." Lilly, who'd been prepared to retort, shut her mouth in surprise. Alex carried a presence at that moment, one of undeniable power. The ordinarily sweet and soft-spoken man had found his fire. He was taking none of her excuses, and she knew it.

"Is it so wrong for me to want to protect my friends?"

"No, it's not, but we're adults, we can protect ourselves. Don't we have the same right to protect you?" She mulled over his words, "I love you, you're a sister to me. What do you think it would do to me if you were murdered by The Beast and left me behind to wonder if I could've done something to prevent it?"

"You don't understand!" She pushed herself to stand and resumed her distressed pacing. Her hands clenched and unclenched in an attempt to remain level-headed. "If you get involved, I can't keep you safe. I kept you out of this for a reason, if you help us, he'll butcher you in a heartbeat. It's a game to him."

"Maybe, but don't you think that's my decision to make? It's my life, you don't get to tell me who I can and can't risk it for," before either of them could continue, the door flung open, and there stood a worried Dani. Lilly couldn't help the groan that escaped her. She was really in for it now.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't help! I just heard what happened," Dani rushed, however, her voice faded as she sensed the almost palpable tension, "what's going on?"

"Why don't you tell her, Lilly?" The anger leached through his tone. Dani's eyes flicked back and forth between them.

"Tell me what?" Lilly shifted her weight uneasily.

"The Beast, he's after me," a heavy silence ensued, broken only by Dani's startled laughter. No one else joined, and her amusement soon died, replaced by realization.

"You're kidding? I thought it was just some freak accident!" Lilly shook her head in silent shame, bracing herself for the onslaught of accusations and heated questions sure to follow. "What the fuck, Lilly?" In the next few minutes, Lilly felt a very clear sense of deja vu. Almost the exact conversation she had with Alex repeated and Lilly began to develop a headache, either from the stress of it all or the constant yelling. She picked up her nervous pacing once more, a habit she hoped wouldn't stick around, otherwise, she'd surely burn a hole in the floor.

"It seems to me that you've convinced yourself this is for their protection, but the only person you're really thinking about is yourself," Ava accused as she glared at Lilly, obviously taking her boyfriend's side of the argument. Lilly stopped pacing.

"Do you want the man you love to end up dead? Because that's a very real possibility if he comes to Fillory with us." Ava continued to glare, but stayed silent, the blunt truth clearly understood.

"I know you have your own mystery gang going on that we're not a part of, but please, let us in. Don't shut us out, we just want to keep you safe," Alex's voice had softened to a tired, pleading tone. Lilly's shoulders slumped. She'd done it all to protect them. Why couldn't they see that?

"I can't lose you guys too," Lilly's voice cracked, her eyes misted with unshed tears. "Quentin, Eliot, Margo, Penny- it's pretty much guaranteed that one or all of them will die before the end of this. I can't lose you too," she repeated, and Alex stood, wrapping her into a hug.

"We know the risks, and if we help you, the odds of survival rise considerably, The Beast can't fight nine of us if we work together. It's our choice, and we're making it, now tell us what we need to do," Alex's tone was final and upon raising her gaze, she saw the same look on Dani and Ava.

"Alright," she sighed, "let me fill you in."

➺➺➺➺

"Bottling our emotions, literally," Eliot mused, holding his bottle up as though it might suck his soul in and trap him like a genie at any moment. Their group of six had now grown to eight, with Penny still in the infirmary. The others had been hesitant to let them in as Lilly had, but none were taking no as an answer.

"This is the solution Kady gave you? She couldn't come up with something less... invasive?" Lilly eyed her bottle warily.

"Let's just be grateful she gave us anything," Alice responded.

"Kady told us we shouldn't use these for more than three hours at a time, right?" Quentin began, only to be cut off by Alice as she paced the Physical cottage common room.

"That it's too hard on the system, and when the feelings come back, it's extremely intense."

"Yeah, yeah, don't lean on the bottle," Eliot confirmed nonchalantly.

"But meanwhile, we get to go full Spock with battle magic," the corner of Lilly's lips curled in amusement at Quentin's nerdy reference.

"I don't like it," Alice earned a nod of agreement from Lilly.

"Um, it's the perfect cheat." Margo cut in, watching the blondes like they were insane for not jumping on the bandwagon.

"I didn't say I wasn't gonna do it; I said I didn't like it," Lilly was about to speak when she noticed Alice, Quentin, and Dani's attention had redirected to a spot somewhere over her shoulder.

"Wow, you look--" Alice whispered in disbelief.

"Damn handsome for someone who just had a heart attack?" Lilly's head whipped around so fast it was a miracle she didn't snap her neck. "What can I say? Genetically blessed," she jumped up from the couch.

"Are you alright? Did it work?" She rushed out, craning her neck and gently gripping his chin to see where the spiked bandage had been administered. He brushed off her fussing, "yeah, it worked, what are those?" He nodded towards the empty emotion bottle held in Lilly's left hand.

"What do you care?" Quentin answered before Lilly had the chance, "I thought you wanted nothing to do with us."

"I changed my mind. I'll go to Fillory on one condition."

"The girl you saw in the dungeon?" Quentin asked though it was more a statement than a question. Penny's expression confirmed his implication. "Yeah, we'll get her out," he assured, Lilly gave Penny's arm a light squeeze of confidence.

"Deal."

Half an hour later, the nine Magician's gathered around, clutching their emotion bottles and reciting the Japanese incantation in unison. It was as if her soul had been forcefully sucked from her body. A strangled gasp escaped her as the cloud of pink mist filled the bottle. It took her a moment to catch her breath, the sudden change foreign and jarring. The fear, pain, and hurt she'd been feeling after her argument with Alex and Dani had vanished. Not only that, everything was gone. Every care she had, every hope, every feeling had been smothered, until all that was left was an empty shell.

"Huh, sort of pretty," Margo observed.

"This must be what undergoing the Vulcan ritual of Kolinahr is like."

"I have no idea what that means," Lilly confessed, seeing no reason not to admit it, "but if I did I would most likely agree."

"I like your sweater," all eyes turned to Penny, who studied Quentin's sweater aloofly.

"Are you saying that to be cruel?" Quentin inquired, the others were curious as well.

"No, I like your sweater. I saw no reason not to share."

"I'm sure we will all find this quite amusing once we get our emotions back," Lilly commented, her mind registering the comedic moment, though she felt no spark of joy or surprise.

"I don't feel much different, honestly," Ava mused, examining her glowing bottle indifferently.

"That's not surprising in the slightest," Dani commented.

"Well then, shall we go fuck some shit up?" They all agreed, walking off to, as Quentin had so eloquently put it, 'fuck some shit up.' The Magicians set up the empty liquor bottles in a small clearing, the only light cast from the strands of fairy lights hung between trees. They each set to work studying the hand positions and incantations needed to produce the battle magic. When the time came to use them, the magic came effortlessly. There was no barrier between them and their magic, no emotions or fear holding them back. They smashed bottle after bottle, their spells became sharper, more accurate, and more lethal.

The power running through them was raw, unfiltered, and even then, their power only barely chipped the surface of what The Beast possessed. They worked themselves to the max until their three hours were up, and their emotions unceremoniously returned to their bodies. The first thing Lilly did when the onslaught of emotions hit her was snatch a full bottle of alcohol from the bar and lock herself in Quentin's bathroom.

Her stomach emptied itself into the toilet violently. The emotions and anxiety coiled itself around her like a python, squeezing until all she could do was gasp for air and claw at her skin in a vain attempt to relieve her inner turmoil. Tears streamed down her face, her vision blurring as she took a swig of the fiery liquid.

Lilly awoke the next day, draped across the edge of the bathtub, nursing the debilitating hangover. She shuffled and groaned, making her way through the cottage until she entered the quaint kitchen. Alice stood by the sink, a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers beside her.

"Join the club," Alice groaned in greeting, holding out the painkillers for Lilly to take. She smiled in gratitude, popping two Advil before proceeding to rummage through the fridge for anything to eat. "We shouldn't have done that. It was too dangerous," Alice sighed, rubbing her temples in an attempt to lessen the sharp pain shooting through her skull.

"Agreed, I didn't think it would be that intense. Quentin, he could've...." Lilly trailed off, not wanting to think of what Quentin might've done in that state.

"I know, we shouldn't have let him do it. I thought it would be fine, but someone struggling with depression and anxiety can't risk that. I tried to tell him this morning, but he just got angry and brushed me aside." Lilly gave her a sympathetic look and watched as Alice poured two glasses of a sickly green liquid, handing her one. "Hangover cure tastes like shit, but works like a charm," Lilly took a tentative swig. She had to hold back her gag, but almost instantly her headache lessened.

"We need to try without the bottles."

"Good luck convincing everyone else," Alice leaned against the counter with a resigned sigh.

"Even if we can't, I say we try without it tonight. I don't want to go through that again, and this way we can keep an eye on the others."

"Maybe you can try talking to Quentin? He won't listen to me, he doesn't understand that I'm trying to keep him safe," Alice sighed, rubbing her temples, and Lilly placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Of course I will. First, though, I've got to go take a shower and get changed. Wish me luck on my walk of shame," she joked, and Alice chuckled lightly. "See you in a bit," she waved goodbye, finishing her green goo in one shot. Lilly grimaced as she left the cottage. She felt like she'd been hit by a bus and by the ghastly looks she was receiving, she was sure she looked it as well. She wished she'd brought her sunglasses with her yesterday because her hand did nothing to shield her from the sun.

"Ms. Cole!" A woman shouted from behind her, and Lilly turned with a groan. All she wanted was to wash off the grime and dried tears and climb into her own bed for a much-needed nap. Professor Sunderland's heels clicked like gunfire as she hurried to catch up with her student. Lilly sighed and slowed her pace for the woman, "Dean Fogg needs to see you."

"Can it wait? I had a rough night, and I just need to get myself together and take a nap. Tell him I'll come to see him tonight," Lilly turned to leave. Sunderland stepped in front of her before she could get far.

"He needs to see you now, it's urgent."

"Seriously, I just want to go home," Lilly complained. She was tempted to simply ignore the situation altogether and pretend she hadn't heard. Sunderland sensed her hesitance and spoke the four words that were sure to get her attention.

"It's about your mother..."