Morana

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Until I realized Remiel wasn't smiling. As quickly as my laughter came, it retreated, lodging in my throat like a stone until I struggled to breathe. Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes. The many magics twisting inside of me rose, each one fighting to be free. My hands tingled, and I glanced down, horrified to see frost and fire warring across my fingertips.

"Morana, breathe," Remiel said, panic lacing his voice as he rubbed circles across my back.

His touch brought me instant relief, and I sagged into him, blinking to clear my vision and steady myself as the sudden influx of oxygen made me dizzy. Brushing my hair out of my face, he gazed down at me, his golden eyes solemn. How I wished to see them sparkle with mischief. With each day that passed, the more serious part of his nature crept forward, consuming the innate playfulness I had sensed during our first meetings.

I wished for so many things that couldn't be true. Like going back in time to the moment before he told me he had killed his father.

"Are you better?"

"I am," I admitted, inching away from him slowly so he wouldn't think I was recoiling from him, only to see from the hurt in his expression that I had failed miserably. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Do me the injustice of believing I would think less of you for what you told me. Even if I find it hard to be true."

"It is true, and why shouldn't you think less of me? I'm a murderer."

My mouth went dry, and my lips cracked when I licked them, spreading the coppery tang of blood across my tongue. "So am I."

He startled. "No, that's not the same."

"Because I killed to protect myself?"

"Precisely."

"And why did you kill your father? Did you do it on purpose?"

"No!" A bird on a branch above us squawked in protest. It took flight, sending a spray of snow on our heads. "It was an accident."

"Then why would the Reapers want to arrest you?"

Remiel blew out an icy breath and flicked his eyes toward the group. Seeing that they were nearly out of sight, he took my hand in his and drew me close to him before taking up a brisk pace. I squeezed his hand, hoping he found comfort in the action.

"Do you remember when you asked me about changing someone's fate?"

"Of course I do," I answered, my splintered heart threatening to shatter. Little else had consumed my thoughts since seeing Remiel's death. I had been tempted to tell him so many times, but I bit off the words, refusing to lead him down the course of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"You told me your father died as the Seer foresaw."

Please, if there were gods in this world or any other, I prayed they heard my prayer. Let it be possible to save this man. I couldn't lose him. Everything had been taken away from me. Surely, there had to be a limit to what I was asked to sacrifice.

"And I let you assume my answer meant it was because it was impossible to change."

I spun on him, putting my hand in the center of his chest. Through his thin tunic, I could feel the warmth of his skin and the steady thud of his heart. Strong. Sure. Alive. The way I intended him to remain.

"You mean it can be changed?" I asked, but Remiel shook his head before I finished my question.

He covered my hand with his. "I don't know if it can, because my father didn't try."

"Remy..." My voice cracked. "Just tell me what happened."

"Morana!"

Simultaneously, we looked up at the sound of Astreia's voice. She stood beside Dante, waving her arm in the air in a come here motion. It was hard to tell from this distance, but I thought she might have been crying. Considering Dante had his arm around her waist, I suspected Yoko caused her tears, and I swallowed a bitter laugh, thinking of all the times we had laid in bed at night, whispering and dreaming of love.

It turned out love was a dangerous thing.

"It's going to be dark soon, you two," Astreia called out. "Please don't fall behind."

"Well, at least she asked nicely," Remiel said out of the side of his mouth as he linked his arm through mine.

Astreia watched us walk for a few seconds before continuing down the road. She would let us have alone time to talk, but I hoped we would have a moment together before too long. There was so much to catch up on, and I wasn't even counting Remiel's recent revelation.

"If you think I'm going to drop it, then you don't know me at all," I said, when he didn't immediately start talking.

"Unfortunately, you are rather persistent."

"Then start from the beginning."

He sighed. "In Araphel, you can become a Reaper through training or through birthright."

"Do you have to start that far back?" It was a poor attempt to lighten the mood, but he rewarded me with a weak smile.

"I thought you wanted answers."

"Fine. I won't say another word."

"I don't believe that in the slightest." He grunted when I jammed my elbow in his ribs. Rubbing it and glaring, he continued speaking.

"Only those who are Reapers through birthright can wear the cloak. Without the magic in our blood, it's just a piece of cloth. Sometimes children are born with the gift at random. Some say it's keeping balance in the world because the old lines are dying out. There are not many left who directly descend from the original Reapers.

"And your family?"

He tapped my nose and winked. "Already breaking promises, I see. Yes. My family descends from one of the ten original Reapers. Legends say they were some of Death's best soldiers, but they fell in love with mortal elves and chose a mortal life to be with them."

"Are those the same legends that say my father is the Death god himself?"

Remiel shrugged. "Maybe. There are so many out there. But what I do know is that my father took great pride in our lineage, and he was so proud to have not just one but two sons to add to our ranks. Years of war had nearly wiped us out, and so my training started early. As did my brother's."

I listened quietly–without speaking–as he filled me in on his time at the Haven. The many years he sojourned with his family to the Reaper's refuge. Most of it likely had little to do with why he had killed his father, but I could tell he needed to share his story. And I wanted to know every detail there was to know. If anything, it made me more certain that he had to be mistaken about being responsible for his father's death. He spoke of the man with so much love, I could practically feel it seeping out of him.

"I was training at the Haven when the battle of the Vesper broke out. As second in command, my father was at the battlefront, and he sent word that they needed reinforcements. All we had left at the Haven were a few teachers, the injured, the elderly, and those in training. Colonel Orien didn't want to send any elf that hadn't taken the Rites, but ultimately, he decided he didn't have a choice. But only on the condition that we act as archers."

Up ahead, the rest of our group slowed and examined a spot to make our camp for the night. Approaching dusk cloaked the sky in pinks and oranges and rimmed the horizon with deeper violet. Beautiful as it was, walking these stony mountain paths in the fading light was too dangerous, but I knew as soon as we reached everyone else, Remiel would ask me to wait to finish his tale.

"Wait," I said, grabbing his arm. "We can catch up after you finish."

A stray lock of dark hair bounced as he nodded reluctantly. All the joy that had infused him while he spoke of his family was gone now. As was the spark in his eyes again. Reluctantly, he started talking again.

"I asked to leave my brother behind. My mother could not bear to lose us both, and he would have been too much of a burden. He was small for his age and not able to pull a bowstring back far enough. We set out the next morning. Thirty of us. I was the oldest, only two moon cycles from my eighteenth year."

His tan skin turned pale, and he stumbled toward a tree, bracing his forearm against it and resting his forehead on his arm. Like he had done for me earlier, I rubbed his back slowly, filling my throat with a soft, buzzing Song of soothing. One of the few Songs Kuga had taught me that wasn't violent.

"I took first watch." He trembled beneath my hand. "We didn't know that the king had told them to retreat. That the few elves who had survived were scattered and fleeing to Araphel alone."

"Remy–"

"It was so dark. Too dark even for a cloak to penetrate it. It had to be because I don't think he saw me either. I heard the ring of steel, and without thinking, I took up my bow and shot into the darkness."

Reflexively, my hand went to my mouth. Feeling the absence of my touch, he raised his head and looked at me, anguish twisting his features to something almost unrecognizable.

"He was still alive when I found him, but I couldn't do anything but hold his hand. When he drew his last breath, his soul separated, but it didn't move. He stayed there, looking confused, and told me he didn't hear the call from the other side."

"You talked to him?"

"It's a rare gift of our kind, and it only works when the soul is recently deceased. He said if he wasn't hearing the call, then something had happened to the portal. He told me to use his blades to contain his soul so he wouldn't wander or risk becoming a wraith. I did as he asked, and taking his cloak and scythe, I ran away."

I burrowed into him, pressing my face into his chest. "But don't you see? You might have killed your father, but you didn't murder him. It wasn't on purpose. They'll understand–"

"They won't." He cupped the back of my neck and kissed the top of my head. "Not long ago, I ran into one of the teachers. Araphel was on fire by the time they turned around, and so he settled in Jorridor. He spat at me, told me they knew what I had done. That my father should have killed me when the Seer told him what I would do."

"But he didn't because he loved you."

"Well, he was a fool then," Remiel said, untangling himself from me and storming toward the camp.

I stared after him. Emotions warred inside of me. Hurt for the sorrow and guilt he carried. Fear for his life. But most of all, I felt hopeful. If his father had died because he hadn't tried to save himself, then maybe it was still possible for me to save Remiel.