Mom finishes explaining the situation between Daniel and Winston to the other leaders, and I bite my tongue so I don't blurt out my opinion. I want to hear what the others think, if they agree. I tell myself it's because I'm learning to be more of a team player with my leadership, but I know it's just my brain second guessing itself.

"What are we going to do to set a precedent?" Dr. Guzman asks. "The fighting amongst ourselves has to stop."

"We keep Daniel and Winston in the cells," General Kazemi says, "and they don't come with us to Virginia. Keeping them detained will show the others that we are serious about fighting, and not bringing them to the frontlines is just simply the best call. We can't afford any conflict during battle."

Yes, I think, and I actually catch myself breathing a sigh of relief. Mom looks at me. "You agree, Isla?" she asks.

I nod. "I do."

"Me too," Jacob adds. "That will show my men that the Deathless are serious. Besides, Daniel is only seventeen."

"Isla is only seventeen too. Can we ask that she stay back?" Mom asks. There's hope in her voice, and though I should have seen this coming—though I should have guessed she would suggest this to the others when she asked if I wanted to sit this meeting out—I'm surprised by her question. I've been fighting since the beginning, and though I never wanted to in the first place, I'm too involved now to not finish it.

"Unfortunately, we need Isla with us," General Kazemi says.

"Why?" Mom asks.

"Because there is an entire unit of soldiers who follow her orders. 'Isla's Army' will not fight for anyone but Isla." General Kazemi peers at me. "You should feel lucky to have a group of people so loyal to you."

"What about Daniel's plan? To split up and attack Gunther on multiple fronts?" Declan asks.

"I don't see why we won't follow through with the plan," the General replies, "but we will replace Daniel with someone else. He is not a leader, so that should not be difficult."

Jacob presses his palms to the table and stands. "So it's settled, then? Daniel and the man he injured remain here in custody. Teresa and the remaining rubble sweepers and Deathless can care for them."

Dr. Guzman nods. "Originals too."

"That's fine with me," Declan says.

Mom moves her hand over the table, smearing oil marks from her palm on the waxed tabletop. I can tell she's not happy with the outcome—she wanted me to stay back—but at least one of us got what we wanted. At least I know now that Daniel will survive.

"Meeting adjourned," Mom says reluctantly. I slide my chair back to stand up. "Not you," she tells me."

As I relax back into my chair, preparing myself for a lecture, Eleanor throws open the door.

"What the hell, Bea? Why is Daniel in the detention center?"

Joe wheels himself in after her, and we meet each other's looks of desperation.

"Eleanor, I had to," Mom says. "He beat Winston unconscious."

Now is my chance to sneak away.

"You should have called me the second this happened," Eleanor argues, coming closer to Mom. I slip away while they are both distracted and hurry out of the room with the other leaders toward Joe.

"I heard what Daniel did," he whispers, though the others are continuing down the hall to finish preparing the Immortal for Hellhole and Mom and Eleanor are arguing too loudly to hear us. "I want you to tell me about Daniel's behavior since the estate. Tell me everything."

I nod. "In here," I say, and I take the handles of his wheelchair to lead him into the bedroom Mom, Celia, and I share so we can speak privately. This time, unlike all the times at the estate when I did what Joe asked, it's because I trust him.

Once we are in my room, I tell him everything. I tell him about Daniel's on and off again anger and his running away, about MacArthur, about our engagement and his support of me through my darkest times, about Daniel's own darkness.

When I've finished, Joe insists we see Daniel. I press my thumb against my ring again. I'm not sure if I can handle seeing him right now, especially after deciding to leave for war without him, but I know Joe wants to help him. I love Daniel too much to let my own selfishness get in the way of his well-being.

I push Joe down the hallway toward the stairwell, where I ask a group of Deathless on the patio to help me carry Joe to the first floor. One of them carries his wheelchair down, while another three carry him, two holding up his torso by their shoulders and another in front of them lifting Joe's legs.

Finally, we reach the first floor, and I feel a little dizzy with the memory of the last time I was here, when blood flowed out of the detention center and Gunther first got into my brain.

"Are you okay?" Joe asks after thanking the Deathless who carried him. He adjusts himself in the seat.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, taking a deep breath.

I hold open the doors for Joe as he wheels into the detention center, where Daniel waits in the corner of the cell Collins used to fill, his head in his hands. My heart aches seeing him here.

"Daniel?" I say. "It's me. Joe's here too."

Daniel uncovers his face. A bruise is forming on his cheek bone from where Winston must have punched him back. His eyes are red and watery from crying, and his lip quivers as he gulps a breath of air. "Hey," he says.

Joe wheels himself closer to the bars of Daniel's cell. "Daniel, Isla told me about everything you've been going through since leaving the estate. Is it alright if I speak with you about everything as a physician?"

Daniel nods.

"I want to begin by saying that no one is angry with you. Winston woke up a little while ago and he explained why you hurt him. He is not going to seek any further punishment, and once he is cleared from the infirmary, he is also going to be moved down here too."

Daniel breathes deeply, nodding. He seems relieved. "Okay."

"From what Isla has told me about your behavior since the estate, I think it's safe to say you're suffering from PTSD. It is not uncommon among people who have experienced trauma, like losing parents, losing friends, and experiencing combat. This does not in any way reflect on you as a person. Anyone can experience symptoms of PTSD. In fact, if I were to talk to everyone on board, I am sure I would find that nearly everyone has experienced similar feelings. We have all been through too much trauma not to. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah," Daniel says, nodding. "I'm just scared."

"That's normal," Joe says, "but can you point to what exactly is scaring you?"

Daniel finally looks me in the eye—just for a second—then quickly looks away. "I'm scared of myself. I'm not a violent person, at least not like that. I've only ever tried to help people, and now... I put a guy in the infirmary." He swallows hard. "Can we talk privately, Joe?" he asks.

Joe turns his gaze up to me. "Isla?"

"Sure," I say weakly. I step out of the detention center, but when the door closes, I sit against it to listen.

"I don't want Isla to be scared of me now," I hear Daniel say. "She held me back up there like I was some kind of out of control monster. I don't want her to see me like that, and she already has a few times since the estate, Joe. She had to shoot me with her slingshot once, and another time, she drew on me. She's afraid of me, Joe."

I cup my hands over my mouth to keep from making a sound as I start to cry. All of it—losing contact with Ian, finding Ava and Jacob, preparing for war, speaking against Daniel to the leaders—it all hits me. When Gunther was in my mind, he told me he was going to kill my family so I would die alone, like him.

He hasn't killed us, but he's pushed us all to our breaking points. The fear Gunther planted in me has pushed me to be cautious of Daniel, to try to force away his darkness instead of working with it. How could MacArthur have helped Daniel more than me? Of course Daniel thinks I'm afraid of him, because, in a way, I am. I am afraid he and I will never be able to heal from what has happened to us.

"Daniel, I don't want to mislead you. Loving someone with PTSD can be difficult. However, from what Isla has told me, the two of you have supported each other throughout this entire experience. When she was experiencing her symptoms, you were able to ground her, and it seems as though she has helped you," Joe says. "Am I correct in saying that?"

I press my whole head against the door to hear what Daniel's feeling, but he doesn't say anything. I can't see what he's doing. If he's nodding or shaking his head or simply not responding.

"People are not going to abandon you because you make a mistake, Daniel," Joe tells him. "Especially not someone who has been there for you and who trusts you enough to allow you to be there for her too."

I listen for a response, but there isn't anything to hear. A familiar fear returns to me: I haven't lost Daniel's love, have I? I hold my left hand, massaging the ring on my finger.

"Daniel, I need to let you know what the leaders have decided to do," I hear Joe tell him. "They want you and Winston to remain in the cells during the battle. You will not come with us to fight."

"And Isla?" I finally hear Daniel ask.

"They need her to go," he says, "to lead her army."

"I will do better. Ask them to give me another chance, just let me go," I hear Daniel plead. I return my hands to my face, but a small cry escapes me. "Please, I can't stay here doing nothing knowing she is out there fighting."

"I'm sorry," Joe says.

"Judge Blume?" someone says behind me, and I jump from my seat, startled.

I wipe off my face and look up to see the two soldiers who brought Daniel down here standing over me. "We need to evacuate the Immortal now. We're here to take Daniel into custody until we can return him to his cell. It's almost time to submerge the vessel."

I stand up, brush myself off, and step away from the door. "Go ahead," I say faintly.

The soldiers enter the detainment center. "Dr. Wilkes, Mr. Crowley," one of them say, "It's time to evacuate the Immortal, so we're here to take Mr. Crowley back into custody. We will send for someone to help you off, sir."

"Thank you," Joe says.

I wait for them with my back to the wall outside the detention center, catching my breath. I hear the sounds of cells opening and cuffs locking, so I turn to face the door. I need to tell Daniel how I feel.

He emerges from the detention center with the soldiers on either side of him. We lock eyes, but he doesn't say a word. I walk beside them as I make up for the silence between us right now.

"I'm not mad," I say, "and you won't lose me. I will come back from Virginia, I promise."

"You're not afraid of me now?" he asks without making eye contact with me.

"No," I say. "Please stop, just for a second. The Immortal can wait," I say, and the soldiers halt. "Thank you," I tell them. "Daniel, Gunther wanted to make us all afraid, and he did. I'm afraid of nearly everything now. Of blood, of red, of my own brain, but not of you. I know you would never hurt me, just like I would never hurt you, but I'm afraid of who we could hurt if we don't heal."

"Don't go," he pleads. "Stay with me."

"I have to."

"You are in control of your brain now. You don't have to do anything."

"I don't mean it like that."

"Please," he says, "don't go. Unless I can be there with you, I don't want you to go. I'll go insane worrying about you here."

My face warms with tears I'm desperately trying to hold in. I shake my head. "I'm sorry. I love you."

The soldiers tighten their grips on his arms. "We have to go," one of them says.

"Isla, stop. You don't have to do this," Daniel shouts as the soldiers pull him away.

Joe appears at my side, just in time for me to catch myself on his wheelchair before collapsing. I'm completely torn in two. I know I need to go and fight—to finally finish this war with Gunther, because if I'm being honest, he's tortured me so much that I'd never be able to rest unless I saw his death for myself—but I also realize I've lied to Daniel: I would hurt him, and I would do it by leaving him behind.

After all the crap I gave Daniel for leaving the house that day the prowlers came to collect my family, I'm doing the same thing to him.

"I want to take it back," I say.

"Take what back?" Joe asks.

"What I told the leaders about Daniel. He needs to come. He needs to be with me. We have to be together."

Soldiers arrive to help carry Joe out of the Immortal, but before they reach us, Joe rests his hand on my arm. "He will be fine here. I'll stay with him."

"Dr. Wilkes, we are ready to take you down now," one of the soldiers says.

"Thank you," Joe replies. "Come on, Isla."

"Judge Blume, do you need any assistance?"

I shake my head. "I'm okay," I lie.

We disembark the Immortal, and once everyone has evacuated, everyone—our entire army, which I'm afraid still looks too small to defeat Gunther—waits a safe distance away from the blast site. The navigator drives the Immortal over to the area where they've set up explosives, and then we wait until he runs back to meet us in the safe area.

Though we've all gathered in one place, my family is scattered. Toward the back of the crowd, Eleanor stands proudly beside Daniel and the soldiers guarding him. Celia, Julian, and Dr. Guzman are far off to my right as they hold each other. Mom fumes over her fight with Eleanor as Dad tries to counsel her by rubbing her back. Declan, with Victor on his shoulder, and I stand at the front of the army beside General Kazemi.

Declan holds a remote detonator with a bright red button on its face.

"I always imagined the world ending because some idiot somewhere accidentally pressed a red button," I tell him, trying desperately to think about anything else but my betrayal of Daniel.

He smiles. "Basically."

The navigator finally reaches us, and General Kazemi turns to say, "All clear, Executive Kunkle."

Declan takes a deep breath. "Here goes the idiot," he says, and presses the button.

A hundred tiny explosions burst around the Immortal, and then, after a split second of peace, the Immortal disappears into the earth with an ear-shattering crash. I cup my hands over my ears, but it does little to block the sound.

Now only dust rises from where the Immortal once stood. Our army erupts into laughter and cheers, and for a second, I forget all the pain I've caused Daniel and catch myself smiling as I search the crowd for him. But when I find his face, I'm returned to our present situation. Our eyes meet across the army, and as General Kazemi announces, "Tomorrow we march for Virginia," the crowd bursts into hurrahs and rally calls.

Daniel mouths one word to me: "Please."

I break away from his gaze and hurry to General Kazemi. "I changed my mind. Let Daniel come with us," I say.

"No," she scoffs. "It's been decided."

I don't have time to argue. I race over to someone I hope will listen. "Mom, I changed my mind. I want Daniel to come with us. He needs to be with me."

She shakes her head. "Eleanor wants him here. She says she doesn't trust me to take care of him anymore."

"She's just upset," Dad tells her.

"He stays," Mom asserts.

"Crap," I say under my breath. I push away them through the crowd, back to where Daniel is being kept in custody by his former comrades.

"Isla," he says once I'm in earshot, "please, let me come with you."

"You're staying here, Daniel," Eleanor scolds him. "Do you understand me, Isla? He's staying here."

"I understand," I tell Eleanor vacantly. My focus never moves from Daniel's face, not even when tears cloud my vision. "I'm sorry. It's like I'm leaving the house, and I never wanted to do that to you. I tried. I tried to let you come, but it's too late. I ruined it."

"You did the right thing," Eleanor says, "unlike some people. He should be with his family."

"I'm his family," I nearly shout at Eleanor. It's a tone I've never taken with her before, and based on the glare she shoots me, I don't think I'll ever try it again. I mumble an apology before holding Daniel's face in my hands.

"I'm sorry," I say. I plant a kiss on his lips—not caring that Eleanor is standing beside us or that our lips are salty with tears—and, resting my forehead on his, I tell him, "You don't have to worry about me. I promise."

"I love you," Daniel says, his voice shaking.

"I love you too."

I know if I stay any longer, I'll burst into tears, and I have to appear strong for Daniel now; otherwise, he'll be too worried about me to let himself heal while I'm gone. I kiss him once more, then push back through the crowd. As I charge through the cheers, I feel someone pull me to a stop. Joe tugs on my sleeve.

"I'm going to counsel him while you're gone," he says. "When you come back, I'd like to counsel you too, if that's okay with you. You've both been through a lot, but I think I can help."

I nod. "Yeah." I turn away to push back toward the front of the crowd.

"Hey," Joe says. I meet his gaze. "You will come back."

"Yeah," I say, though a new vision seeps into my mind now. One of me, shot, my blood sinking into the earth as I fall to the earth with only one thought pulsing through my brain: I wish Daniel were here.

I reach Declan, who is still reeling from the excitement of the explosion, and he asks where I'm rushing off to.

I don't stop to answer, "I have to get out of here."

As I escape toward the woods around the mouth of Hellhole for some time by myself to stop and think, I look up at the sky. At first I think it's just debris from the explosion, but I'm wrong. The first snow of the year begins to fall.