Hadrian told Antinous that the locals of a nearby Libyan village were being stalked by a Marousian lion. It crept into their farms at night, killed their livestock and even carried off one of their children. The creature was insatiable, he claimed, and, during a diplomatic engagement, the villagers begged the Emperor to put an end to their troubles.

He had whispered this to Antinous so late in the night he thought he might have dreamt it but when he awoke, Hadrian was outside their tent ordering the slaves to pack for the afternoon's hunt.

The horses were brushed and saddled. Orodes was back on his feet and eager to help. He was not yet well enough to serve him, but the slave wanted to feel useful again. Antinous asked him to fetch his spear but let him do no more than that and implored him to stay behind and rest.

Antinous touched the tip of the sharpened spear and let it prick his finger. He held the grip and tested the weight of the weapon in his hand as he rocked back on his heels. He had never hunted lion before and was unsure of himself.

"Is there no other way to deter them?" he asked the Emperor.

"Once an animal has had a taste for human blood, only human blood will satisfy him. He has to be killed or the villagers will never be free from him."

He saw that Leonides would be escorting them. Antinous would have preferred to stay behind. He didn't like to be around Leonides in the Emperor's presence in case they unknowingly aroused suspicion. Though, refusing to hunt would have been more suspicious, so he decided to go along with the Emperor's plans.

Hadrian was in a strange mood, pacing back and forth before the horses. Hunting normally put him in a peaceful state of mind, but this trip agitated him, which was all the more strange since he was so insistent that they go.

Antinous noticed that the rest of the retinue would stay behind. Only a small hunting party of slaves and guards would attend them.

"Is no one else coming?"

"It is only you I wanted to share this experience with."

Commodus, who had been eavesdropping beneath a nearby canopy, interrupted. "I couldn't hunt in this heat anyways." He fanned himself perhaps waiting for Hadrian to hastily extend an invite. "No, no, don't mind me. I'm sure I can make my own fun here at camp."

Hadrian said he would like him to stay behind and consult with his secretary about the new tax plan for the provinces. "As always, I am eager to hear your thoughts on the matter."

"Fun indeed," he replied with a poison smile.

🌿

There was no wind. Red sand stretched out before them smooth and undisturbed. They rode at a cantor, the horses' hooves clomping on the ground creating a soft drumbeat.

He couldn't see any lions on the horizon. It was a straight line, sharp and clean as a knife's edge. Leonides and Thaddeus rode out front to peer beyond the sand dunes and be sure that no threats lay in wait. Brutus and the slaves rode in back so they weren't approached from behind.

Antinous snapped the reins to keep the pace when his troublesome gelding bucked. He stopped and patted his neck.

His eyes followed Leonides and the easy stride at which he rode. His tunic was hitched up to his waist and his naked thighs snugly straddled the mare's back. He never whipped his horse or made abrupt adjustments. His movements were seamless, and the animal seemed unaware that it was being steered in any particular direction. This is what they had to do to escape, he thought. Stay calm and even keel. Act as though nothing had changed or was about to change. Their happiness was so near and Hadrian so suspicious, the smallest disturbance could throw the entire plan off course.

Hadrian had memorized a map of the area and said they were coming up to a small body of water on the left. They dismounted with their slaves who dutifully carried their spears. Hadrian instructed the guards to stay behind and they crawled on their bellies to look at the lake. The sand turned Antinous' white tunic red but the Emperor was wearing a burgundy toga and the stain was indistinguishable from the dyed fabric.

Once out of earshot, Hadrian said, "There."

Antinous' eyes widened. By the lake there was a male lion lapping the water with his tongue. He had a large mane and great golden body with a long tail that flicked contentedly in the noonday heat. He was almost identical to the lions in the arena at the Flavian but more graceful since he did not suffer the indignity of being forced to fight for human entertainment. He did not appear vicious. It was hard to believe that this was the same creature that was terrorizing the nearby village when he was as tranquil as a house cat.

They crept over the dunes and drew closer.

"He is beautiful."

"Yes, appearances can be deceiving. Even beautiful creatures commit terrible acts of violence."

"A lion cannot help that he is a lion any more than a man can help that he is a man."

"He stole a boy from the village, Antinous. Sank his teeth into that young flesh and carried him off into the night. Man or lion, all creatures should be punished for taking what does not belong to them."

The lion lay down and put his head between his paws.

Hadrian took a spear from one of the slaves and handed it to Antinous. He stared at it as though it were a foreign object.

"I can't do it."

"You can't do it?"

Thaddeus and Leonides inched closer to see if something was wrong.

"There is no honor in killing a sleeping animal."

"You of all people speak to me of honor?"

Antinous felt his cheeks turn scarlet.

He looked at the spear in his hands and at the great animal. His topaz eyes were squeezed shut and his soft golden belly rose and fell in the sun.

Antinous' arm dropped to his side and as he staked the spear into the sand.

"Leo," the Emperor said. "Hand me my spear."

Leo?

Perplexed by the order, Leonides fetched the spear from one of the slaves whose role it was to attend him. The Emperor took the weapon and met his gaze.

Antinous' blood ran cold.

Hadrian turned to the lion and charged.

"No!" Antinous cried.

It was too late. The Emperor drew back his arm and released the spear. It spiraled through the air and into the sleeping lion's head.

The beast shook violently. For a brief moment in time he did not realize he had been harmed. It was as though he had been dreaming and thought this too might be part of that strange afternoon dream. His body spasmed before finally collapsing and going still.

There was scattered applause among the slaves.

Hadrian climbed up the hill to rejoin the group. He pointed to one of his slaves who was literate and therefore able to transcribe the events.

"The lion came after Antinous, my beloved, and I saved him," he dictated. Everyone nodded as though this were true. Truth did not exist in an Empire where the absolute ruler ruled absolutely. "I want this scene emblazoned in marble, venerated in poetry, celebrated in song."

The other slaves ran down the hill to examine the Emperor's prize. They roughly removed the spear from his head and dragged the body by its paws to the waiting mule that would carry it back to camp.

Antinous felt tears in his eyes at the sight of the animal's majestic body, that had once moved so gracefully, being desecrated, but he did not dare let his tears spill.

"Let this be the day," Hadrian declared to the hunting party, "I have decreed that nothing, no one, man nor beast, shall take my beloved from me. Should he try, he will pay with his life."

🌿

Night fell and a blood moon hung over the camp.

Antinous watched the slaves unburden the mule, string up the lion in a tree and slit its throat. The rest of the retinue had heard the story by now and clapped Antinous on the back asking him to recount Hadrian's heroic act. They all wished they had been there to see it. All but him. The fire crackled and hissed in his ears. He poked at the glowing embers with a stick.

Hadrian had not spoken the entire journey back to camp. He expected a soft word when they returned after his grand romantic gesture, but he behaved as though the hunt was just beginning. Instead of going back to their own tent to confer about the day's events, he watched him enter Commodus' tent, his toga snaking behind him through the sand.

In a panic, Antinous left the fire and crouched behind the guards' tent, waiting for a chance encounter with Leonides. There was laughter and merriment inside. Chalices clinked together. Candlelight glowed from beneath its calfskin walls.

He waited for almost an hour before the soldier finally walked by. Antinous grabbed him roughly by the tunic. "He knows."

Leonides guided him into the shadows and shielded him from sight. His lips were stained with wine. "Calm down." He looked over his shoulder. "You shouldn't be here. We need to be careful."

"He knows, he knows it's you, I'm sure if it!" he cried, beating the soldier's chest with his fists.

"How can you be sure?"

"It's in his eyes, his words, his mood..." Leonides was not as alarmed as he should be. Fortune had always smiled on him. He could not conceive of the misfortune that might befall them. "We have to leave now, Leo. Escape in the night."

"We can't. Firstly, I've had too much wine. Secondly, we're in the middle of the desert. There is nowhere to go where we would not die or my fellow guards would not discover us. Orodes hasn't fully healed. We cannot risk such an escape."

"Then you go. Alone. You must. Please. Save yourself!"

"No, I'm not leaving you. We stick to the plan." He held Antinous' waist to steady him.

"That episode with the lion today. It was not merely a hunt. It was a message. You don't know him like I do. He doesn't speak frankly. He speaks in riddles."

"You are anxious and imagining things, little one. Your mind is turning shadows into monsters."

"What if you're wrong?"

"What if I'm right? What if I leave now and ruin our only chance at being together?"

Antinous looped his arms around Leonides' neck. Perhaps he was right. He hoped that he was right. They only had to hang on a little while longer. Then they would finally be free. They would fight side by side, just like they always dreamed they would when they were younger. Life was so much easier when this was all just a fantasy. When he followed Leonides around school with no hope of his feelings being reciprocated. Now that they had consummated their love, every waking moment he lived with the terror of losing him.

"Everything is going to be fine. You'll see." He brushed a fallen lash from Antinous' cheek, a gesture so innocent but more intimate than a kiss, one that exists only between lovers. "We just need to make it to Egypt. The Nile will deliver us to safety."

🌿

Once the lion, strung up on the branch of an Acacia tree, was drained of blood the slaves cut the rope and he fell to the ground with a thud. They then sliced the beast open and removed his organs one by one before skinning him and tanning his hide by the fire. The skin was translucent in the firelight and one could see every vein, like a map to his dead heart.

Hadrian finally emerged from Commodus' tent. Antinous thought he might approach and held his cheek where Leonides had touched him moments earlier. The lingering tenderness felt as bright as the stars.

The Emperor approached Sextus who was drinking wine and singing with his men. They had already mythologized the day's events. The lion had become larger, fiercer in their songs, Antinous more vulnerable and Hadrian more justified in his attack.

The general stood and bowed his head.

"We leave for Egypt in two days instead of four," Hadrian said. "We'll cross the desert."

Doubt crossed the general's hardened face. "What about travelling south, through the marshland as we previously discussed? It will be safer for the horses."

"Let the weaker horses get picked off by vultures. In two days, we go east."

A/N: We march on to Egypt 🐫🐫🐫

Why didn't Leo listen to Antinous and escape! 

Do they still have a chance or are they both doomed?

There is just one chapter left, plus an epilogue...

I can't believe I started this story over a year ago. It feels like yesterday I was writing twelve-year-old Antinous playing with his wooden sword. Don't touch me. I'm emotional. *cries in Latin*

If you enjoyed this chapter (or you're sad and furious) please vote ⭐️!