The first time it happened it was an accident. A slip of my eyes, a coincidence that his room was adjacent to mine. I hadn't meant to watch as he unbuckled his leather straps on his armor or unbuttoned and slid off his white shirt, a shirt that was very obviously matte with sweat from working out.
It was also a coincidence when I found my feet taking me to the windows of the courtyard, and definitely a coincidence when my eyes found him.
These coincidences happened more than I could count and I enjoyed every second of them.
His name was Kieran Black and he was a knight, not just any knight but the first sword of my father the King. Well adopted father but that's another thing entirely from the fine specimen who was currently standing on the opposite side of the courtyard swinging his blade at another knight. His broad shoulders flexed as he swung his sword, the muscles moving under his clothing that was visually tight and taunt over them. I could almost imagine reaching up and touching them, feeling them under my skin. Feeling them hold me.
I stood like that for what felt like hours, he was a magnificent fighter and he showed it well. Eventually he clasped the hand of his sparring partner, smiling and exchanging words I couldn't hear. And then he was gone from the courtyard and I blocked the images, ones that I longed for, out of my head. And Kieran Black became the knight I hated once more.

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"If we take advantage of the pass here" I used my finger to push a troop marker to a line between mountains on a map that laid on a table in front of me "we can pincer them from behind with an ambush." I looked up in frustration, my father, his knights, and several of the King's Council stood around the table.
"Why bother with a strategy, one we specifically have to time even, when we can just back our troops with dragons and fight them head on like we planned!" Kieran bit back at me, his eyebrows pinched in frustration. "We can take them, we don't need underhand tactics, our troops are better trained and better geared than they are." His hand swept over and knocked several of the troop placements over, including the one I had just placed.
"It's not underhand tactics! Why chance more lives when we can get the upper hand!" I growled at him, it was too risky. What if we were underestimating the troops of our enemies. I grabbed the marker and put it back upright.
He pounded his palms to the table, rattling it intensely and making my marker fall again "And what if they end up slaughtered behind enemy lines? What then Princess?"
"Enough!" The King stood to his feet, his voice echoing through the room before he reached out and plucked the marker from the table. "I will not have disorder in my court, the Council will take your suggestion into consideration Nasryn." He looked at me, not with the eyes of a King but with those of a father.
"Yes, your Highness." I bowed my head in admission then turned a glare back to Kieran.
"Your dismissed, I will see you all at dinner." The King said and we all bowed to him, clutching our arm to our hearts in salute, as he exited the room. Kieran promptly followed and soon the Council shuffled through the door as well and I was alone in the room. It was a simple room, large with a circular stone table in the middle. Maps and old scrolls of tactics and battles some from long ago, others more recent had homes along the wall. The few decorations included relief carvings in the wooden furniture. My fingers found the edges of the map and I rolled it up before putting it back in its slot, my fingers tracing over the designs in the shelf.
Twenty years ago my father, now known as King Xris, had taken over the Vei Kingdom. Anyone who turned rebellious had gone north through the mountains to the neighboring kingdom of Natetia. They were a peaceful nation for the most part, at least until the rebellions started to cause issues and my father was forced to start another war since they wouldn't stop harboring our enemies. They currently were pushing through the mountains and would reach our troops within the next two months. There was nothing wrong with letting them come to us, it just felt like a waste to me to not take advantage of the hidden paths known to us. Countless lives could be saved.
A sigh left my throat and I turned away from the wall of scrolls before letting my legs pull me from the room. My hand rested on the hilt of my sword.
My father, King Xris, found me after he had taken the kingdom in the woods when I was barely old enough to crawl. I was not related to him though blood so I would never be his heir, instead he made me a fighter, his weapon. He trained me himself as soon as I could hold a weapon. Made me practice until they fell out of my hands from being so sore. When I finally bested him four years ago he gave me the title of Knight. Two years later he would promote me to being one of his Generals after my first battle. It was a bloody battle and not one I remembered fondly. I closed my eyes as faces of people I had killed flashed before them. It was a necessary evil, one they had chosen the outcome of.
My footsteps echoed against the cobblestone of the castle as I walked and I found myself heading to an exit that would take me to the nearest forest. I slipped between buildings and through a small hole in the city wall before greenery shielded me from above. My shoulders which had been tense relaxed and I let myself be guided deeper until I came apon a small pond. I sat down on a flat gray rock by the water and pulled off my leather boots and socks before dipping my feet in the cool water. My hands pulled my sheath and sword from my belt and I set them next to my shoes before sitting back on my hands and looking at the trees above me. Part of me liked to imagine I had a family here in the woods before the King found me and that this place was somewhere they knew. Part of me also hopped that they might find me here one day. But how could I explain who I had become? Would they even recognize me? I sighed and laid back against the cold stone, closing my eyes in the process and drifting into sleep.

__________________________________________

A dark shadow stood over me when my eyes opened and I jumped to my feet grabbing my sword. My eyes searched for whatever had been standing over me but there was nothing but trees so I relaxed. Light was starting to fade from the sky so I quickly put my shoes and socks back on and attacked my sheath back to my belt before making the treck home. My feet guided me to my room where I had just sat down when a knock came at the door, a small head poked in and my gaze settled on one of the castle servants. She opened the door wider and curtsied before stopping in a bow.
"Dinner is ready my Lady." She stood up and held the door open for me so I stood back up and exited my room. The maid closed the door before bowing her head to me and moving to head onto her next task.
"Thank you." I said softly, knowing she wouldn't hear me and even if she did she wasn't used to being thanked. My feet then carried me towards the dinning room.
Perhaps the second largest room in the castle the dining room was lined in golds and reds with two long stone tables leading down the middle and one smaller one facing them for the royal family. I was not to sit with the royal family, my place was with the Generals of which I was the only one currently in the city. The others were all off leading battalions and at training post. My father's way of protecting me I would assume. He sat at the middle of his table besides his wife Oraya, a pale sickly looking woman with dark black hair, and his two sons. His eldest, Prince William, was a kind man, yet he would never take the throne as he was also ailed by the sickness his mother carried. The younger son, Crown Prince Darrian on the other hand was the heir apparent, his skin was of a healthy tone and he took more after his father. I disliked him, even though he was several years younger than me he would find every excuse to use things against me. His mother was the same if not worse, she hated me with a passion. My goal was to keep to myself and stay off their radar as much as possible.
I found my seat quickly and as soon as I did the King stood up to address the room, something he did every night. "Loyal Citizens of the Crown I thank you all for joining me in this meal! May this food nourish you all!" People around me raised their glasses to him before drinking deeply and then turning to the food. My hand toyed with the fork before I used it to grab some of the food from the serving platters before me and transfer them to my plate. The seats around me were mainly empty, reserved for the generals who would adorn them occasionally so I didn't have to worry about being forced to chat. I chewed on a piece of tri-tip that I cut from the slice on my plate. My eyes focused on the food I missed when a chair scrapped up beside me.
"For a Princess you sure don't act like one." His all too familiar voice came from my left.
"I'm not a Princess" I growled "What do you want Black?" My head turned so I could stare at him coldly. He might be hella nice to look at but his temperament was that of an asshole.
"Can't I have a friendly conversation?" He grinned and plucked a grape into his mouth. His hazel eyes sparkling.
"Nothing's friendly with you." I turned back to my food and started cutting my meat into squares. So much for not being forced to chat.
"I thought you'd like to know that your father and the council approved your idea" he said, actually in a nice tone before he said "And I'm leaving in a week to lead it" and ruined it.
I stood from my chair "That was my plan, I should be the one leading it!" My face headed and I felt rage sear my body. I turned away from Kieran and raced towards my father's table. His guards on duty stepped forward but didn't stop me, they knew who I was.
"Father that's my plan! Why is he" I pointed to Kieran "leading my battle plan!?"
The Kings gaze focused on Kieran but before he could say something the Queen stood up.
"How dare you talk to the King in such manner, you should be ashamed." She looked down her pointed nose at me.
"It's okay Oraya" the King laughed and motioned for her to sit before turning back to me "My dear Nasryn, please trust that I have my reasons. Go eat something Child."
Child. I scoffed in my head and turned around on my heel and walked out of the dinning room. I was no child, and my strategy would not be led by some arrogant jerk.