Cody

"You're dragging your legs Benjamin! Move your legs!"  

Coach Carta's face had turned red with yelling effort. He was doing his "Sparta" nickname justice like always, but he wasn't yelling at me for a change. Since I had a big competition coming up, I had to take it easier. Coach's orders, and I followed them to a T. The T of tapering. Although I did find myself constantly wishing I had just a few more weeks to prepare, had trained just a bit harder. 

I reached the wall, and did a flip turn. One final lap to go, and I'd be done for the day. Sailing across the water at my own pace and with the coach's eyes off of me, I was left alone with my thoughts. 

I knew said thoughts should be focused on the swimming regionals, and the swimming regionals only. But no matter how hard I tried, they kept going back to last night at the bar. 

Mason and Zoey. Zoey and Mason.

I couldn't wrap my head around it. They just didn't fit together.

It's not because they had nothing in common. In fact, they probably had more in common than Mason and I did. They were both outgoing, both enjoyed clubs, festivals, and hanging out with lots of people all the time. They also had that similar 'cool' look to them, knew how fashion and stuff worked. 

For some reason, I still couldn't see it happening, and it really bothered me. Darn, I wasn't used to having the energy to focus on anything except going full speed ahead. Now I kept thinking of Mason, couldn't let it go, not even while in the pool.

I'd tried acting enthusiastic for Mace's sake, despite my doubts. If he really wanted to be with Zoey, then I hoped he'd get with Zoey. He had to be quite serious about her too. I'd never seen Mason so mad at Noel before. They bickered a lot and pranked each other all the time, but this had been a different kind of mad. For something so silly as being called gay in front of Zoey. Why had he told Noel before me that he liked her anyway? Didn't he trust me?

I reached the other wall of the pool, which marked the end of my cooling down. Lifting myself out of the water, I walked past the coach who was still shouting at Benjamin, and to the benches. Britt was already sitting there. She had a large towel wrapped around her impressive set of shoulders, which even I was kind of jealous of. She looked up from her phone and scooted over to make room for me when I approached. 

"Hey, what's up," she asked with a bright smile. 

I hesitated. 

"There's one thing up." 

I needed to talk about this Mason thing to someone, but how was I going to phrase what was on my mind? Britt was a great teammate and a good friend, but I felt uncomfortable telling her the whole story.  I didn't want to gossip and say bad things about Zoey, like how she didn't fit Mason, even if Britt only vaguely knew who Zoey was. 

Taking the neutral example rather than using real names was probably the best way to go. "Britt, did you ever see a couple walking down the street and wonder to yourself: how did they ever get together?"

After a second or two of thought, Britt pointed at me, a flicker of recognition in her dark eyes. 

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "Yesterday at the mall I saw this gorgeous young woman. And she was walking hand in hand with a balding dude who was sporting a beer belly. Whatever, she should do what she wants to, but why?" 

"Maybe he has a great personality," I defended the 'dude.'

Dylan walked by me and Britt, grinning as he rubbed his black hair dry with a towel. "Yeah right, great personality," he chipped in. "More like maybe he has a great wallet."  

"Yup. You're sweet Cody, but I have to agree with Dylan," Britney shrugged.  

I frowned at them. "But I didn't mean one of the two is not good looking," I said, "I meant you just don't see it happening. Those two people getting together." 

"Oh. You mean like seeing a goth woman with a man screaming middle class accountant with his suit and hairdo?" Britt guessed. 

"No, it's not because they have nothing in common either. It just doesn't fit," I said, only realising how weak that reasoning sounded out loud when Britt's eyebrows raised. 

"Like someone else would fit better," I tried to explain.  

Britt's eyebrows only raised further. "Someone else fits better? Like who?" 

"I don't know. Someone not that person." 

All I knew was that I couldn't picture Mason with Zoey together. I suddenly realised I was biting my nails, and dropped my hand back on my lap. 

Britt shifted on the bench to fully face me. "I'm just gonna take a wild guess here and say this isn't a random question you're asking. You know someone who's about to go out with someone you don't find fitting. Am I right?"

"...Yes," I admitted reluctantly. 

Britt glanced over at Dylan, who had taken a seat on my other side. What was up with the people exchanging meaningful looks around me? Zoey and Yue doing it was one thing. Not Britt and Dylan too. 

A smirk was playing on Dylan's lips. "Riiight. You sure you don't think you're the one who fits better?"

"What? Me?" I chuckled, startled by the idea. "No, no, you got it all wrong. I don't have feelings for this gu- uh, person," I caught myself just in time. 

Dylan's eyebrows only raised higher. Maybe I didn't catch myself in time after all. I felt blood rushing to my cheeks. Thankfully, Dylan didn't call me out. 

"I mean, I do like them," I conceded. "They're a good friend. And I suppose the person they want to date isn't a bad person either... You know what, never mind. I don't think I have a point."

"Sure, Cody." Britt patted my shoulder. 

"Yes, sure Cody. I totally believe you don't want to date them now," Dylan added with a snort.  

"No, I really don't." I frowned.

I cared about Mason. A great deal. I'd even say I loved him. But my feelings weren't that kind of loving feelings. I wasn't in love with him. I don't want to do things like cuddle or make out with them. That'd be..." 

What would it be? Gay? Weird? We did actually hug often. We touched all the time; Mace ruffled my hair, put his arm around me. I don't think a little kiss would be a big deal between us after all these years. It was only a small step beyond a hug.

I could easily picture Mace resting his hand on my shoulder, throwing his head back laughing because he'd tricked me into believing some stupid fake fact again. What if, once, instead of backing off, he'd lean in? His smile would slowly disappear. I'd see the specks of green in his eyes, closer and closer until our lips brushed against each other.

Heat spread throughout my body. There was a bout of flutters in my stomach, and a nervous tingle in my fingertips. 

Dylan and Britt were giving me weird looks again.

Britt stood up. "Well then, I wish you the best of luck with figuring it all out"

"Yeah." Dylan got up as well and took a few steps in Benjamin's direction, who was now finished talking with the coach. "We're gonna hit the showers. You coming?"

"Go on ahead, I'll be right there," I replied in a daze. 

They left, and I took a few deep breaths, trying to control my thumping heart. What in the world was that? That-- that fluttering in my stomach? It should not be fluttering. 

I stood up abruptly, needing to lose the nerves. My eyes darted around the pool, but nobody seemed to notice anything going on. Everyone was going around his or her own business, except for coach Carta, who shot me a sideway glance. 

I put my towel around my shoulders and hurried to the locker room. I could hear Benjamin and Dylan's voices from the showers, but didn't join them. I placed my hands on either side of my locker and leaned my forehead against it. 

"Son, what appears to be the problem?" a voice boomed behind me. 

I immediately turned on my heels. Coach Carta had followed me, and still sounded like he was on the other side of the pool trying to get my attention, rather than standing near me. He had two volumes available: loud and louder. 

Sitting down with a groan, coach Carta patted the seat next to him. "Sit down O'Neill." 

I did as he asked, trying to avoid that penetrative stare he had when he wanted to pull information out of me. 

"I overheard what you said at the pool. Are there women troubles O'Neill?" 

"Uh... " 

Did troubles count as love troubles if they didn't necessarily include you, but your best friend and a girl? And I didn't know how to even begin explaining what I'd just thought of Mason. Did men troubles count, too? 

"Guess so coach. I'm not so sure yet. But there are troubles."

Coach Carta let out a deep sigh. "Well son, it was bound to happen to you some day too." 

I was another victim to 'teenage hormones', as he liked to call it. He'd always praised me for not getting distracted by girls batting their eyes at me, nor talking about trivial things like attractive people, but I guess I'd let him down this time.

"Listen son," coach Carta placed a hand on my shoulder, "is it something you can solve right now? If not, get it out of your head, get it out of your system. The regionals are coming up in a week and it's all in here," he tapped the side of my head, "the winning or not. The you being at your best or not. You need to be 100% focused on your swimming and not let anything distract you, got it?"  

Don't let anything distract me. Get it out of my head. It would be out of my head if I talked to Mason about it, scary as that was. Should I tell him? I didn't want to lie to him or keep secrets. I'd always felt free to say anything to him. Mason might even have a smart way to explain what I felt. He could ease my mind, talk it right, and made me relax. But I didn't know what to tell him if I was going to tell him anything. That I thought about kissing him, and it made me feel warm and fuzzy? It was all one big chaotic mess, and I had yet to make sense of it myself. 

Coach Carta was right. I had to forget about it until the regionals were over. I had to try and put it out of my head until after. 

"Yes, you got it coach. I can get it out of my head until after the competition," I said. 

"Attaboy, O'Neill," coach Carta replied, the hard, tense edge leaving his expression.

I wish I trusted my own words as much as the coach did.