"Stranded at the drive-in, branded a fool......

What will they say?

Monday at school.........."

Seokmin swung his legs as he sat on the makeshift swing on the stage. The prop design department had done an amazing job and each rehearsal made it feel more and more real. The sadness in his stomach made his song sound even more real as he hit all the right notes. The emotions in his heart were strong and real and hurting him almost physically in their intensity. He knew he liked Joshua a lot but now that he was so unceremoniously lost from his life he knew it was more. He knew he was in love.

He sucked it up and continued on with his song. The words stung him, so real, when he auditioned he never realised how well he could characterise the part. Who knew Grease was so deep? Seokmin finished the song and swung a little higher as he sounded out the last notes. "Good job," Jihoon called from the second row. "Nice intonation and emotion. Reset for the dance scene."

"I have to leave early," the girl playing Sandy called out from side stage and Jihoon rolled his eyes so hard they nearly fell out of his head. "You're really trying my patience today," he said in exasperation as the crew moved in to quickly and silently move the swing set from the corner of the stage. "Wanna hand jive with me?" Soonyoung's eyes were full of mischief as he moved next to Seokmin on stage. "I'm prettier than Sandy anyway." "Sure thing," Seokmin agreed. Now he knew about Soonyoung's not so tiny crush on their tiny director he was happy to play along with any grab for attention the dancer could make.

The song began and, relieved of singing duties and buoyed by his extra dance lessons, Seokmin began to move. He enjoyed the routine so much and couldn't help but smile brightly along with Soonyoung as the man danced circles around him. Soonyoung's joy was infectious and as Seokmin danced he allowed his imagination to wander. He and Soonyoung would be a terrible fit as a couple but he liked the idea of his neurotic and grumpy perfectionist roommate with the bright and boisterous dancer. And it would be nice to see Soonyoung settle down. They'd be so cute together, Seokmin thought, and he smiled happily as Soonyoung slipped into his arms and let the other man twirl him around and dip him low.

"You've improved," Soonyoung smirked as he stared up at Seokmin. "You're heavy," Seokmin said quickly and Soonyoung laughed loudly as he stood up too quick. "Dizzy, head spinning.." he complained loudly and fell into Seokmin's arms dramatically as the other cast members started laughing loudly around them. They were all used to Soonyoung's antics by now and this wasn't something unusual. "Is he looking?" Soonyoung asked and Seokmin looked out into the audience to see Jihoon scowling furiously at them both. "Yeah but I think we're going to get in trouble," he said as he dropped Soonyoung to the ground.

"If we could refrain from these kinds of shenanigans," Jihoon frowned. "We have very limited time." "Who the fuck says shenanigans?" Seokmin began to laugh as Soonyoung just stared at Jihoon from the stage. "He's amazing," was all he could mumble as he jumped to his feet. "If you want to get his attention maybe you might be better off just working hard and trying to talk to him like a normal person," Seokmin walked over to the side of the stage to find his water and sit down and Soonyoung followed him.

"But-but usually people love my, what did he call it?" Soonyoung rubbed his forehead sweat with a towel as his face scrunched up in thought. "-Shenanigans. People love my shenanigans." Seokmin held his hand out for Soonyoung to help him up. "Well Jihoon is different. He doesn't want shenanigans. He wants hard work and making the most of your talent and long deep talks over cans of Coke at three am."

"You're a really good friend Seokmin. And a really great person. I'm kind of sorry everyone used to ignore you." "Its fine," Seokmin shrugged it off. "I was happy enough then and happy enough now. I just..." he held what he was going to say before looking around. No one was paying much attention to them standing side stage as the props department reset the stage for the carnival scene. "I'm not happy. I miss him already."

His lips formed a pout and Soonyoung began to laugh. "It hasn't even been a day. I mean, he's still your boyfriend isn't he? You guys didn't even break up." "Yeah, you're right," Seokmin felt the tears well again and he held them back. "I just want to forgive him but what will people think?" "Who cares what people think?" Soonyoung swung an arm around Seokmin's shoulder as he led him off stage. "That's not what my other friends think." Seokmin drank the rest of his water and when he looked up Soonyoung was looming over him with a curious expression. "Your friends perfect are they? Never made a mistake?" Seokmin's head began to shake slowly as Soonyoung's words sank in. Who cares what people thought.

"Well, take it from me, as someone who's made a lot of mistakes..." Soonyoung's voice petered out a little as he looked over at Jihoon from behind the curtain, "a little forgiveness goes a long way. He doesn't need the world to understand. Just you."

The words hit Seokmin like a brick to the face. They were powerful and insightful and showed a wisdom and introspection he never expected from the lively dancer. "You're really smart hyung," Seokmin said as he let the other pull him into a long hug. "So are you. So don't do something stupid."

Joshua had slipped into the back of the theatre unnoticed. He'd walked the whole way with a bucket hat pulled down low to hide his face but he couldn't help but feel that people were staring. Whispering, laughing, pointing. Definitely looking at him. Shame filled his stomach like rocks as he walked to where he knew Seokmin would be. As the sun beat down behind him, hot on his back making his headache worse, he was drawn to the sound before he even opened the theatre door. He could hear him singing, melody lilting and pained, his voice clear like crystal ringing through the air.

Beautiful, Joshua thought to himself, just beautiful.

He waited until the song ended before opening the door and slipping into the back row just in time to see the crew reset. The sick feeling in his stomach intensified while he watched Seokmin and Soonyoung dance together in the spotlight like they were made for each other before their performance ended with them goofing off and Soonyoung in Seokmin's arms. He knew it. He just knew if he didn't push this was going to happen. He knew Soonyoung would swoop in and steal Seokmin out from under him. Joshua let his shoulders sag, face dropped in sadness, as he decided to leave him alone. He looked so happy and he didn't want to bring Seokmin's mood down. His hopes that the other man was missing him were obviously just a fantasy.

He pulled the shirt a little closer around his body as he began to walk back home. It was getting dark, the sun finally almost dropping past the crest of the horizon, and the little shops that dotted campus were closing up for the day. He looked up to see a couple, the girl small and cute, the boy tall and broad, laughing as they looked over at him and he knew they were talking about him. He was the campus joke.

Suddenly realisation washed over him. He'd wanted to come here and change whom he was. Become someone he wanted to be. All the cool clothes and piercings and worldly attitude couldn't change who he was inside. A coward afraid of everything, of everyone, most of all afraid of what people thought. All the qualities he'd hated in Jaehyun, his manipulation, dishonesty and inherent shame, had manifested in his own behaviour in the worst way. Joshua was nothing but a coward and he had to change.

He grabbed the bucket hat from his head and shoved it in his pocket. So what if people stared, laughed, even called him names. If he kept walking and paid no attention, they were insignificant. It didn't matter if he didn't let it matter. He opened the door of the corner convenience store that was still open and grabbed the last fresh looking bunch of flowers they had sitting in a black bucket of water.

They were Sunflowers, not the rich elegant roses he thought Seokmin deserved, but somehow fitting he decided as he paid for them and walked out. He began to head back in the direction he came from and his heart began to soar with a new freedom at the terrifying idea of actually grasping onto some courage.

The theatre was quiet and mostly empty when he made it back so he walked around to the stage entrance. People were milling around, wandering in pairs or small groups, but he couldn't see Seokmin anywhere. Maybe he missed him and was too late. He couldn't face the dorm again. He was too afraid of Seokmin's tiny but very scary roommate.

"Hey! Joshua hyung," he heard a loud voice behind him and he turned to see Soonyoung waving frantically at him while a shy looking Seokmin stood beside. He didn't even know Soonyoung that well but that didn't stop the loud dancer from yelling his name excitedly while he dragged Seokmin over by the arm.

"Thank god you're here," Soonyoung said as the setting sunlight gleamed on his sweat-covered brow. "I was going to walk Seokmin here back to his dorm but somethings come up." Soonyoung pushed Seokmin towards Joshua before skipping away giggling like a maniac. "He's so weird," Joshua said softly before looking down and blushing as he followed Seokmin's gaze. He was still wearing his shirt.

"He is weird. But he's a good friend," Seokmin said slowly and definitely and its implication wasn't lost on Joshua. He held the flowers out in front of him and shyly hid behind them as he began to speak. "I'm so sorry. I don't know if I even have the right to ask you to let me explain but I'm going to ask anyway."

Here out in the open, nothing around them but damp grass and the indigo sky of almost dark with only Venus sharing its light, Seokmin felt brave. There was no one here to judge or have an opinion on who should do what. It was just Joshua and Seokmin and a ridiculously large bunch of sunflowers.

"It's okay," Seokmin said carefully as he took the flowers in his hands revealing Joshua's face. His eyes were puffy and still swollen and red. His bottom lip was chewed and raw looking and his usually flawless skin had lost its glow. "No it's not," Joshua said but Seokmin interrupted him. "No, this was all pretend right? Like, we weren't really together so I guess you didn't really cheat on me..." "I guess..." Joshua mumbled as they began to walk. "So, if you want to get back with him, then you should have just told me," Seokmin said as they walked along the damp grass in the moonlight. It was a beautiful evening and the scent of sundown was delicate in the air as they strolled side by side with sunflowers between them.

"I don't," Joshua said defiantly. "I never did. I'm sorry Seokmin. He knows how to play my insecurities against me. I didn't want any of it to happen but it's my fault. I never should have let him manipulate me. I should have been stronger but trust me Seokmin," Joshua stopped walking long enough to grab Seokmin by the arm and turn him around. "I didn't want to do it. I don't remember doing it. And he's done this to me before, manipulating me, getting me drunk so he can make me do things I wouldn't usually do...."

Seokmin's eyes widened. "He didn't do anything else to you did he?" he stammered as he squeezed Joshua's hand tight. "I-I don't think so..." Joshua was sure he would have found some sign. "But honestly he could have and I wouldn't remember." "That's actually sick," Seokmin said as they began to walk again. Neither of them noticed they were headed in the direction of Joshua's apartment, comforting habits dying hard in the pleasant night air.

"He's not a nice person," Joshua finally conceded. "He spent the last two years of my life making me feel small, ever since I was nineteen and so vulnerable, I never had a boyfriend before. I didn't know it wasn't supposed to be like that. Seokmin, its all a lie, everything. The clothes and the piercings, the parties, geez the first time I ever tried weed was that night on the lawn with Hansol and Seungkwan."

Tears welled in his eyes but he blinked them back down. He turned away to take a breath, eyes wandering briefly across the sky, and when he turned back he saw the whole galaxy reflected in Seokmin's soft gaze. "I wanted to change who people thought I was and in the end I hurt the only person who's opinion actually mattered."

"Everyone makes mistakes," Seokmin said as they stood still in the middle of the grass. The sports oval was deserted now, the sun had set quickly cloaking the entire campus in a dim violet glow, a cool breeze nipping at the heels of the day's last warmth. "I mean, I thought you were cool enough to be your fake boyfriend...." His laugh was softly self-deprecating and it make Joshua's heart flutter at the sound.

Everyone makes mistakes....

Joshua didn't want to make the biggest one.

"What if it wasn't all fake? What if most of it was real, I mean the real me...." Joshua rushed the words out and Seokmin stopped walking to turn towards him. "I know it was the real you hyung. The clothes and the money and other stuff never mattered to me. I...." love you for who you are was the end of that sentence but he pulled himself up just in time. "What about this though?" Joshua grabbed his hand and the look in his eye made Seokmin's breath catch in his chest. His eyes only had enough time to flutter closed as Joshua's lips pressed down on his.

When they parted Seokmin's cheeks were flushed and Joshua's eyes were searching. "How did that feel?" He asked and Seokmin knew, he just knew what Joshua was asking for. "Real," he replied as he reached out to cup Joshua's cheek, his thumb swiping slowly across the man's cheekbone where one solitary tear had broken free. "Real and beautiful," Seokmin whispered before pulling Joshua close against his chest.

"I'm sorry Joshua hyung but the deal is definitely over this time," Seokmin smiled brightly as Joshua soaked it in. The radiance of his smile was truly a sight to behold as it lit him from within and made Joshua feel like everything might be okay. "Can we start this again for real?" He asked and nether of them noticed when the Sunflowers dropped to the grass. Nothing mattered outside their world which had narrowed sharply to revolve around another slow deep kiss.