Warning: I'm not really sure what to put but there's crying. Panic attack of sorts, hurtful words, swearing and self deprecating. Please don't read if you will feel uncomfortable I don't want to hurt anyone. Stay safe <3

Corals POV
Holy shit! Am I really in love with her? I shook those thoughts out of my head but they were still lingering around my brain. I get up from my bed and walk towards the kitchen. Dinner hasn't been made once again... I grab a bowl from the cupboard and take out the leftovers from the fridge and spoon some of the food into the bowl and chuck it in the microwave. I set it for 1 minute. As I wait for the microwave to finish I do my trademark microwave dance. DING! I push the button and the door clicks open I grab my bowl. "Ahh shit!" I drop the bowl back in the microwave and shake my hand vigourously before running cold water over the burn. This time a grab the bowl with a cloth, I open the draw and grab a fork from it and walk towards the balcony. I open the door with my free hand and close it behind me when I enter the balcony. My happy place. The place where I don't get judged. The place where I can relax. The place where I can cry and the only one who sees is the moon and stars. I set down on a camp chair and place my bowl in front of me on my lap and start eating, blowing the food first so I don't have a relapse of what happened earlier.
Timeskip

I look up at the stars and moon as I put my bowl on the floor. "Hey what's up moon? We haven't talked in while. Hey so guess what I'm in love with my best friend. So that's fun." I stare at the moon for a bit before asking. "What am I going to do I can't tell her..." "I just dont know anymore." At that question I realise that I've been crying I lift my hand to my cheek and wipe the salty tears off it. But I just cry more and so instead of wiping them away I just cry until I can't anymore and just stare at the moon with a look of fear and sadness. And longing.

My eyes start to feel heavy. I close them and lean my head on my hand and slowly drift off. I fall asleep. Right now I'm at peace but dreams can be so unpredictable and well they just worp into nightmares.

Dream
I look up to see her. Lucy. She looks angry almost disgusted. She stares daggers into me, I flinch well I think I flinch. Urgh I can't move what is happening to me. Lucy laughs at me and screeches 'I cant believe you thought I liked you, you're such a disappointment of a friend!' I feel a tear slip from my eyes, but I can't feel it my whole body and face goes numb. Lucy just laughs and just starts saying things to me mean things.

Useless.
Disappointment.
Unloveable.
Bad friend.
Worthless.
Hopeless.
Lost cause.
Weak.

Broken.
That word hit hard I start cry uncontrollably, I sit up and hug my knees desperately. Lucy just disappears. Just like everyone else. I'm just left there in the dark void of nothingness. Its where I belong.
End dream

I jerk up suddenly and look around, I'm in my room. My dark room. How did I get here? My mum must have found me and brought me here. Urgh I can't handle the darkness I reach over towards my lamp and flick the switch. I squint a little but my eyes adjust quickly. The dream comes flooding back to me like a hurricane. I start crying again but silently I can't let people see me like this. I hate it I look so ugly crying. I grab a tissue from the box of them beside my bed and wipe my damp cheeks and eyes. The flow of tears doesn't stop though, I sit up and hug my knees just like in the nightmare. I didn't get anymore sleep that night.  All I could do is cry like the pathetic loser I am.

A/N I just realised how cringe this is and how much angst it has like oml XD