Moments after he left, I stood up and went into my room, looking for my phone, I noticed that I have gotten a message from...

...Chase?!

A mixed feeling of sadness and anger came over me.
This can't be real, it just can't...
My heart was pounding against my rib cage, also making it hard for me to breath, I felt sick.

Hey, Jess.
I know I fucked up, but please
let me explain it to you.
I had to think about that night I
went with Anna and I have
decided to talk about it with
you.
The days were just hell without
seeing you, but I wanted to feel
a hundred percent ready to tell you.
I know that was selfish of me
for doing that, but I hope
you understand...
I kept thinking about you...
I missed you.
I am ready to talk to you face-to-
face. I'll be by your house at ten,
ok? If you don't want to talk, I
guess I have to deal with my
mistake that I made and move
on...

Love, Chase xxx

How are you supposed to feel about a text like that?
I do not know how to respond to this.
Sure, I was happy about it...

He is online!

Shit, what do I write back?
I did feel happy reading his message, but...
I have to talk to him.
... I need to see him!

Hi,
I am happy to hear from you
again and ten p.m. sounds good.
I missed you, too...
I was also very angry at you
sometimes, but I still missed you, Chase.

Love, Jess xxx

-send-

I took a look at the time,
it was nearly nine o'clock and I have no energy to move.
I just sat there, empty, not thinking, just nothing.

After ten minutes I took a hold and forced myself to not look like a character from the walking dead, which in my eyes I could definitely be, looking at myself right now in the mirror.
Not that I already felt a bit dead inside...

I was just going down the stairs when I heard a knock on the door.

I felt a bit happy, knowing that he is just a few steps away...
I opened the door and hugged him.
I don't know what came over me, I just had to feel him near me.

A bit surprised, he widened his eyes, but soon after giving me his beautiful bright smile.

He got inside the living room and sat down.

"I am so sor-"

"No, Chase...
I want it to be clear that I already have heard the story from Anna."

"..."

"I am not angry at you, just so you know."

He looked at me in surprise.
"You're not?"

"Nope," I started smiling at him for a bit.

"You are not mad at me...wow," he said, still smiling at me.

"You changed a bit, didn't you?"

I grinned, happy with what he said. It is true, I changed and I was delighted, of course, of him noticing it.

"You keep surprising me, Jess."

At that moment
I remembered what I needed to talk to him about...

My smile vanishing, I looked into his icy blue eyes and said;

"Just to make one thing clear though...

...I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore..."

"You cannot be serious, right?"

His smile left and a stern look on his face appeared, staring directly at me, realising that I wasn't just joking.

"Why, Jess? Why?"

I thought I could talk to him about Ethan and how I loved him more than Chase, but the words wouldn't come out properly...

"I-...I do- don't lo-"

"Just tell me!"

I sighed angrily.

"Chase, I don't love you"

Those words felt like it pierced his heart, making him look sad and slightly pained.

Seeing his expression, I left on his face, hurts.

He stood up and quietly said under his breath;

"Then that means Goodbye?..."

I was in shock, I stayed silent for a bit.
Thinking that my silence was a 'yes', he started heading towards the door, when I suddenly pulled and held onto his sleeve.

"It doesn't have to be!"

He turned to me,
shortly after he smiled,
he gave me a quick kiss.

"I am not sure if I can do that...
Will you give me some time again to think about it?"

"Can't you just give me answer now?

"I'm being serious, Jess!"

He glared now angrily at me,
Making me feel bad about what I just said a few seconds ago.

His face softened a bit, still with a tad of anger in it, as he saw how sorry I was.

It was really easy to see when I was being upset about something.

We said our Goodbyes and he left.

...Well that was worse than I had expected it to be.
I didn't even tell him what the real reason was, why I wasn't in love with him anymore...

I took a deep breath.

I have to talk to Anna first and if Chase wants to talk to me again, if he even wants to talk to me after that, I tell him about me and Ethan.

I hid myself under the blanket and I was actually feeling like my life is starting to get in place how I wanted it to be, which made me smile.

I was happy...