I don't understand myself why I have trouble getting out of bed some mornings.

I look around me and see everyone else is doing fine.

I must do fine to...

No one likes someone who is going to hold them back

So I bite my tongue so hard it bleeds...

But that pain doesn't come close to the pain that wracks my heart with each word

FATASS
SLUT 
BUCK TOOTHED 
BITCH
DISAPPOINTMENT 
WASTE OF SPACE 
SIN
ACCIDENT
MISTAKE... 

I cover my ears as I lie in the dark alone but their voices...

Those voices of the hated that are loved and I who remain alone but love all...

They remain to haunt me when I close my eyes...

The hurtful words used like a whip down the back that they land on and leave welts so deep that it racks their chest when they cry...

Each sob... each sob...

They start praying- WE start praying for it all to end and for the sweet mercy of death.

Go to school people use their words like bullets and at home you are pinned between the hard rock of your depression and the fake smile you use to hold yourself up.

Dear God, Why?

What have we done? Why do you hate us? Why don't you save us? Why.... Why CAN'T I save myself? 

This sinking feeling that drowns me in my own thoughts-

Makes me claw at my own skin in order to break cracks from the dark-

Makes me look at my hands...

Makes me think of the dark around me as an ally and not an enemy...

The sweet kiss of the blade much more satisfying than seeing another day.

It all starts with those words...

Why? WHY!

Why do I have to be this way!?

EATING DISORDER
DEPRESSED
NEEDY
CUTTER
SLUT
MONSTER
USELESS
BROKEN
REPLACEABLE
FORGETTABLE 

PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHY!

What did we do to be bullied to the point that we can't tell a wrinkle from scars!

Tell me why you get to mock us but we can't have the heart to take you on!

Tell me why people who have done no wrong must suffer in the flames of life while they get to flourish in the riches of mercy!

Tell me why! I demand that you tell ALL of us why!

THE GAYS
THE WOMEN AND MEN WHO ARE MOCKED FOR WEIGHT 
THE ODDS 
THE GEEKS
THE NERDS
THE MORONS 
THE OUTCASTS

What makes us any less human than the person who stands in front of us!

Nothing...Nothing...Nothing makes them any less human....

Humans are made to be monsters, and to overcome and take over anything they can get their hands on...

Even if that means making the few weak ones shatter in the tight grip... of cruel life...

We all-

Cry.
Morn.
love.
hate.
regret.
Die.

but not everyone truly suffers, to wake up and look in the face of hell and realize... that that face is your own...

To hate the skin you came in to the point you try to cut yourself free.

To hate the way you look so much that you would rather starve than to live another day the same.

To hate the people around you so much that you keep quiet because you hear the silent prayers that you would just Die already. 

Some days you have to lie and wonder the same reason yourself...

What is the point of living? If you can't even help yourself...