Thanks guys for reading.
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Ben was the course representative of my department. I didn't get to know him till my third year in the university.

We were not friends in the first two years and he was one of those people that you saw everyday but didn't really see.

I knew he was dating a girl from our department. Linda. The entire school knew they were together.

It was hard not to know because they went everywhere together. From classes to the cafeteria to the field. It was like once you saw Ben you should expect to see Linda next to him.

I felt happy whenever I saw them together because it was glaring how deeply he cared for her. They looked like the perfect match and I thought nothing could ever tear them apart.

I was together with my best friend Joy that day when they walked past me.

Seeing the way his hand moved smoothly from her shoulder to her waist ignited a need in me. I wanted that. No. I didn't want him. I wanted what I saw between them or what I thought I saw.

I wanted a boy to love me in the exact way I thought he loved her. Maybe it was where it all began. It had to be.

My best friend Joy was friends with Ben. They easily engaged in conversations while I always stayed by the side listening and laughing when I thought they said something funny.

Ben was not very handsome. There was nothing spectacular about his looks. He wasn't quite tall too.

He was basically the kind of boy you would see and take your eyes away immediately because there was nothing striking.

His physical features were not particularly the features I wanted my man to have.

I was more into taller guys considering my short height and I liked them a bit light skinned and muscular.

Nonetheless, Ben was very intelligent. He effortlessly topped our class each semester. I was always second but the difference between our grade points was always massive.

I wondered how he studied and I had this burning desire to beat him and top the class even if it was just once.

I was cool with Linda. She wasn't very pretty but she wasn't hideous either. She had a lot of acne on her face, she talked very slowly and I thought she walked funny.

Since we were in the same department, I and my best friend sat with her most of the time in class. I borrowed her notes when I missed a class or when I didn't get something right.

I always borrowed her notes because I liked how legible her handwriting was. But that was it.

All we had was that classroom friendship. We were cool outside the classroom but we were not friends and we never became friends.

I really can't recall how Ben and I became friends. I remember we chatted on Facebook one certain holiday.

I remember he asked how far I had gone with a term paper we were given and I remember asking after his wellbeing.

Back in school we didn't talk much. Maybe he didn't have the time to grow other friendships because he was with Linda most of the time.

We were in the third year of our program in the university. That was when I heard the news of Ben and Linda's breakup.

I was disappointed but I won't go into the details of their breakup because this story is not about that and it is really none of my business.

Ben was hurt and I felt pity for him. He grew lean each day and looked like a shadow of his old self.

Joy and I took it upon ourselves to try to elevate his pain and make him feel better about what had happened.

We called him out most times and spent quality time with him trying so hard to make him laugh. I wondered if he saw how hard we were trying and I wondered if he wondered why we cared so much.

I also wondered if he was cool with our efforts or if he felt we bothered his peace. I decided I wasn't going to give up till he told me to stop.

On his birthday, I bought him a present hoping it would make him happy. He seemed appreciative of the gift I had given him and seeing him smile elevated my spirit.

It almost felt like making him feel better became my utmost goal in life.

We started chatting on the WhatsApp messenger app and our friendship grew. I felt very comfortable with him. I felt like myself and there was no need for pretense with him. I felt I could talk to him about anything and I found myself confiding in him about issues I faced.

Back in school, he began teasing me in class and he playfully harassed me. Like when he took my shoes in class and kept them on the classroom window or when he moved the desk whenever I wanted to write on my notebook.

We were always playing. He nicknamed me Frodo after the short guy in the movie lord of the rings. When he didn't call me Frodo, he called me the short devil. None of the names he called me offended me. What we had was real friendship.

It was a normal afternoon in the campus and students clustered around the college for one thing or the other.

I stood with Ben on a step while most of my course mates sat around because we were waiting to have our 2pm lecture. I can't remember how it happened.

All I recall is that I was trying to come down from the step I stood on with Ben when I almost fell. He came to my rescue. Ben caught me.

With his hand firmly gripping mine, he pulled me up and that was it. In that very moment, I fell in love with him.

It was like magic and even if I wanted to explain it, I can't find the words to use. I saw him in a different way. Ben became a totally different person to me.

I had had crushes on several guys and I knew what a crush felt like. I had fallen in love with this guy and I knew it.

My feelings for him affected everything I did; from my schoolwork to my hobbies.

Ben was all I thought about and he was living in my head and flowing through my veins. I didn't know how to go about what I felt.

I became uncomfortable and very restless. I didn't want him to discover my feelings for him. I was bent on hiding it but my reactions around him betrayed me.

I suddenly became very shy around him. My palms became very sweaty when he came too close and my heart beat increased. My eyes lit up whenever I heard the mention of his name.

I hated what I felt and I hated what it did to me. More so because Ben and Linda were seen together everywhere again. I didn't know if they were back together or if they were just friends and I knew I couldn't ask him because I feared the answer.

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