Thanks guys for reading.
***********************

The convocation ceremony was the next day. I had just arrived at school and I was very eager to see Ben. It had been a month since I last saw him.

I quickly showered and went out. Ben had put on some weight. He looked really good and it seemed like home was really good for him. I spent like ten minutes with him and I left because we had a party that night.

The party was boring without Ben. Ben didn’t come to the party because he didn’t feel up to it. The music was loud and drinks were everywhere. I found nothing interesting about the party and all I needed that moment was Ben and his hands on my body.

Come out. Let’s chill.
Ben laughed when he saw me.

‘You have never told me to come out and chill. That sounded like code for I am horny.’

I laughed. He was right. I was horny. I wanted him. Ben took me into an empty classroom and he kissed me. The need I felt was urgent. He kissed my neck and bit my ears. Then he touched me till I climaxed.

We had the convocation ceremony the next day. Ben was the best graduating student in our department and I was next to him. I couldn’t have been more proud.

My parents attended my convocation and after the ceremony, my mother asked to see Ben. He said hi to my mom and she was nice to him. Ben’s family couldn’t come for the ceremony because of the distance from where they resided and the school. My mom invited him to join us and eat and he did. I said goodbye to Ben and went home with my parents that evening.  _____________
The date for the commencement of the national youth service was announced and it turned out Ben was in the first stream that went by November and I was in the second stream that went by January the next year.

The thing about the national service was that you could be posted to any state in the country. The first three weeks of the national service was done in an orientation camp in all states in the country.

Ben and I spoke everyday on the phone. When we were not speaking on the phone, we were texting each other. I tried my best to make him feel my presence even though I wasn’t there with him.

Ben felt relieved when the camping was over as he moved on to the next phase of the one year national service which was locating his place of primary assignment.
                     ______________
I didn’t know how to tell Ben. I was terrified. I hated what I had done but I had to tell him. I had let another boy touch me. I was in the orientation camp and I was with Eric that night.

Eric attended the same university I did and I was glad when I knew that he was going to the same orientation camp as I was.

It was nice knowing one person in a crowd of over two thousand people. Eric and I spent most of our time together during the period of three weeks orientation.

That night, we were together as usual. The weather was very cold and I shivered. Eric held me and began caressing my arms. I should have stopped him but his touch felt good.

Eric started caressing my breasts and put his hand into my pants. Somebody came around and that stopped us. I couldn’t believe what I just did or could have done if we weren’t stopped. Ben.

He was going to be disappointed. I had never lied to him and I wasn’t prepared to start. Ben was angry.

‘Did he kiss you?’ he asked.

‘No. he didn’t.’ I was saying the truth.

After a few silent moments, Ben finally said,

‘It’s okay. I forgive you’

Guilt is one feeling I hate. It makes me very uncomfortable and sometimes makes it hard for me to sleep at night. I felt so relieved hearing Ben say he had forgiven me.
_____________
I was elated when the three weeks orientation program finally came to an end. I wasn’t excited because I hated the camp, I was excited because I was going to see Ben. Not just see him but spend nights with him.

I got to Ben’s state of deployment around 10pm. I waited for him near an army check point. Ben wore a T shirt and he held some books in his hands.

As he walked towards me, I felt a sudden warmth in my stomach. His hug was tight and as he released me, his face brushed against mine.

Ben took me to his apartment. It was just a room. I was tired and famished. He bought a meal for me and I ate immediately I came out of the shower.

I wore a short night gown without any panties on. As we laid down to sleep, Ben’s hands began doing wonders to my body. It was the first time we had actually laid down on a bed together.

It was the first time we were going to sleep on the same bed. It was the first time we were going to spend an entire night together. I knew that night was going to be spectacular. Ben tried to get into me and I stopped him.

‘I still don’t think I’m ready to have sex. I have waited up to this point. I can still wait some more’.

We didn’t have sex. We just kissed and touched each other and we slept.

Ben held me as we slept and each time I woke up and his arms were not around me, I put them back.

Those three days I spent with Ben were thrilling. He wasn’t home most of the time but we made most of the times he was home. Being there with him made me feel much secured in our relationship. It was the first time I felt like I was truly a part of his life.

My happy moments were cut short and I had to go to the new state of deployment because I relocated from the initial one given to me by the scheme.

Two months later, Ben visited me at my Lodge in my primary place of Assignment. It had rained that day and I was so worried that he was still on the road.

It was 7pm and Ben had still not called me that he had gotten to my place. I got even more worried when the rain got heavier. Then Ben called. I ran out towards the gate of the building and I saw him under a shade.

I prepared hot water for him to bathe and served him his favorite dish. He was tired because of the hours he had spent on the road to get to my place. So we just kissed and he slept.

The next morning, I woke up before him and I watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful and beautiful and I wondered if he was dreaming and what he was dreaming about.

Ben spent five days with me and in those five days, we really talked. He opened up to me. He told me things about his family that I didn’t know and I told him things about my family that he didn’t know. I also told him the difficulties I had back in school because of him and Linda.

‘I am so sorry. I was scared of her’ He said.

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. That was why I loved seeing you at night. You were always like a breath of fresh air. Whenever I was with you, I felt no need to pretend or do things to impress you. I always felt so relaxed, sometimes so relaxed that it made me want to sleep.’

‘So I was boring.’ I was messing with him.

‘You were not and you are not boring. You that will want to use your fun stories to kill me.’ Ben teased.

‘The reason why I broke up with you the first time was because she came back. She said she wanted me back and so I went back to her but then nothing changed about us and we broke up again.’ Ben added.

‘Did you feel bad? When you broke up with me.’ I asked.

‘I knew I had missed something beautiful.’

‘What I felt for you and still feel for you, I have never felt for anyone.’

‘So technically, I am your first love.’ Ben was not asking, he was stating a fact.

‘You could say that’

That morning, we woke up as usual, said our morning prayers and decided to wait for a while before having breakfast because we were not hungry. Ben kissed me.

‘Why don’t you like tongue while kissing?’ I saw the curiosity on his face.

‘I had a bad experience once with a guy. He ruined French kissing for me’. I said. I was referring to John. Ben laughed.

‘Let me teach you. Just follow my lead.’

He began kissing me again and he gently pushed his tongue into my mouth. His tongue felt very soft. He brought out his tongue and kissed my lips again before bringing his tongue back in. I followed his lead and soon our tongues entwined. It felt wonderful and French kissing wasn’t that bad anymore.

Next he started rubbing my clit.

‘Put your finger inside’ I told him. I don’t know what gave me the courage but I felt I was ready.

He slid his index finger in and I felt little pain but as he kept going in and coming out, pleasure overtook my body. I had never felt anything like that before. He continued for a while and stopped.

‘Should I continue?’ Ben asked me. I didn’t say anything. I just looked at him.

‘You have desire written all over your face. I have never seen this look on your face before’. Ben was smiling.

At night, we sat together outside and we listened to blues.

‘Stop playing these songs. They are making me sad. I have left you before but this time around, it feels like as I’m going tomorrow, I am leaving my heart here. I have never felt like this for any girl’.

Hearing Ben say those words melted my heart.

‘There is a man that is interested in marrying me’ I told him. It was true. Joy’s cousin. He was looking for a wife and Joy recommended me. We spoke on the phone for a while and I discovered I didn’t want him.

‘Do you like him?’ He asked.

‘Of course not.’ I was surprised he even asked.

‘He is probably handsome and financially stable. While I’m a fresh graduate and I don’t have a job and…’

‘And you are the love of my life’ I said cutting him short. Ben smiled.

‘Please don’t leave me.’ Ben said.

‘I promise, I will never leave you’

‘I love you’ He told me.

‘I want you inside me’ the words just came out and I meant them.

‘Here?’ He asked.

‘Inside’

As Ben plunged into me, my brain stopped functioning. I felt pain. And as he came out, my brain came back on. Then he began thrusting in and out. The painful pleasure was almost unbearable. I felt things I had never felt before. I wanted to scream. No. I needed to scream and I did. I let out a loud scream and Ben held my mouth.

We were having dinner and Ben kept staring at me.

‘What?’ I asked him.

‘You are beautiful.’ He said.

I smiled. Did he say I was beautiful because he had just had sex with me? I didn’t really care.
Ben left the next morning and I began counting down to when next I was going to see him.

I visited Ben a few months later. It was there that I first found out about Grace.

Ben was the president of a fellowship and as a result of the position he held, he had to live in a family house where most members of the fellowship lived. I stayed at his apartment and he stayed with me when he had the time.

Most nights, I pleaded with him to sleep in his apartment instead of in the family house. It was against the rules but still he slept with me a few nights.

‘There is a new girl in the fellowship. She has your stature, only slightly taller and fuller. She reminds me so much of you’. He had told me one night.

‘When we held hands to pray and I held her hand, I felt like holding the hand tighter’ He had told me another night.

‘What is her name?’ I asked. I was jealous but I hid it well.

‘Grace. I hope you are not upset. I just don’t want to hide anything from you’

The next time Ben visited me, he talked about Grace a lot and I became uncomfortable. It was worse when I saw her message on his phone,
Just thought of you too. The too in the message meant Ben had sent her a text probably telling her that he just thought of her and she was only replying.

I was using the phone when the text came and immediately the text message tone went off, Ben dived the phone but I held onto it like my life depended on it.

His reaction showed that something was wrong and I was bent on seeing what he was trying to hide from me. We struggled for a while before he gave up and I read the text.

I asked him what it meant and he said some convincing things I don’t quite remember.
******************
I appreciate you. Kindly consider dropping a comment or leaving a vote.