One - The Day She Admitted Herself

Mae nervously squeezed her backpack between tightly balled up fists. That bag held everything she owned - a purple comb with two missing teeth near the center of it, a well-used toothbrush with an almost-finished tube of toothpaste beside it, and a treasured, albeit torn and faded, picture. All of it laid atop a dirty, tattered sleeping bag folded neatly into the backpack.

Turning the final corner, the taxi cab Mae was in pulled to a stop in front of the building she'd seen in a picture on the computer at the library. Holding her breath, Mae took the last of her loose change out of her jacket pocket and paid the cab driver. She got out of the car, pulling her backpack over her shoulder as she stood at the gates of the ever-intimidating building before her. It was raining heavily outside, Mae noticed for the first time.

How fitting for the occasion, she thought to herself with a morose chuckle. Her clothes slowly started to cling to her skin as she continued to just stand there, admiring the sight before her.

Johnston's Psychiatric Hospital was written in big, bold letters across the top of the four story building, and as she looked down and forward she could see people bustling about in the reception area. Taking one last deep breath, Mae walked up to the building and made her way inside.

An elderly woman sat behind a computer on the other side of the counter that took up a large area of the poorly painted reception area. Mae walked up to said counter, clearing her throat gently to get the woman's attention. Glancing up from the computer screen and stopping her furious typing, the blonde, slightly grey-haired woman looked at Mae with a glazed over expression.

As Mae opened her mouth to speak, the old lady quickly jumped to her feet and spoke up. "Oh my, where are my manners? I'm Judith, how may I be of assistance this lovely afternoon?"

Mae frowned, this was certainly not a lovely afternoon, but she kept her thoughts to herself and reminded herself why she was here in the first place. "I just wanted to know who I talk to about becoming a patient here, I'd like to book myself in."

Judith's eyes became the size of saucers, her eyebrows nearly hitting her hairline. Remembering herself, she quickly straightened and said, "I can help you with that. Fill out these forms, and while you're busy I'll need your ID or driver's license along with some form of payment. When you're done with that, return the forms to me and then I'll need you to take a seat and wait until the doctor can see you. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask."

Mae took the admittance forms and a pen from Judith as she handed over her driver's license and a single gold credit card and its pin code, it was filled with more than enough funds to keep her safely locked away inside the hospital for as long as she needed. Judith gave her a funny look but said nothing, accepting that there was more to this girl than meets the eye.

As Mae took a seat on one of the couches along the walls of the tiny reception area, she glanced over the sheets of paper she held in her hands. This was it, no turning back. Steeling herself, Mae filled in what she could and returned the papers to Judith who, after handing back her things along with a fluffy dry towel, told her to sit down and try to warm up while she spoke to the doctor on call.

After what felt like hours of endless thoughts and nonstop waiting, Mae's patience was wearing thin. Why was it taking so long for the doctor to get to her? Just as she was about to jump up and demand answers, Judith came from behind the counter and gave Mae a gentle smile. "Come with me, sweetie, the doctor will see you now."

Mae got up and followed Judith down a long hallway with examination rooms on either side, a doctor's office or two in between. Towards the end of the hallway they took a left turn into an office with white walls and frames with all of the doctor's many certificates. In the center of the room stood a mahogany desk with stacks of papers laying all over the place, atop all those papers stood a single, almost-empty file with Mae's name on it. She assumed it had nothing more than the forms she'd filled out before within it. Behind the desk sat an old man who had definitely aged well, if Mae did say so herself. Shaking her head to rid herself of those thoughts, Mae noticed that the man was looking at her with an expectant smile.

Mae quickly realized she'd been left alone with him and that he'd probably been speaking to her while she was scrutinizing his office. She looked at his name tag and quickly addressed him with respect. She had to be smart, she was in a new place and she'd need to make friends. "I'm sorry, Doctor Valentine, I was lost in thought, would you mind repeating yourself, please?"

With a gracious smile, the doctor stood from his seat and spoke, "I was just apologizing for keeping you waiting for such a long period of time, I had an unscheduled emergency I had to attend to with one of my patients. As you just said, I am Doctor Valentine. Please, have a seat, Miss Martins."

"That's the thing with emergencies, they just happen with no regard for a person's schedule," The words tumble out of her mouth before she can even process the thought, the doctor just chuckles lightly at her words. Blushing, Mae quickly mumbles an apology and sits down in one of the two chairs before the doctor's desk, waiting as he takes his own seat and begins to browse the sheets of paper with all of her known medical information.

Mae sits silently, patiently waiting, her hands beginning to shake with nerves. She goes to twist the fluffy white towel in her hands only to find that it was gone, Judith must have taken it from her while she was zoning out. Biting her lower lip, she quickly puts her hands under her legs to stop the unnecessary movements and ease the quivering.

Finally, the doctor looks up from her file and addresses her with a questioning gaze, "It says here that you've been diagnosed with bipolar schizoaffective disorder, and that you've decided to check yourself in, why is that?"

Thinking fast, Mae tries to come up with an excuse. She'd been so busy worrying about her escape and making sure that he didn't follow her that she'd completely forgotten about laying out a fake back story. Chewing her lip nervously, Mae decides to go with a half-truth: "Well, Doctor Valentine," Mae clears her throat and moves uneasily in her seat. "Try as I may to make the voices and the reality slips go away, it all became too much for me to handle on my own. In all honesty, trying to block it out and do it on my own has only seemed to make it worse."

Giving her a kind smile, the doctor says, "Yes, yes...I've been told similar things in the past. Well, Miss Martins, you have clearly made the decision to come here on your own, so I have no convincing to do, which leaves me with one last thing to ask you before I make the necessary arrangements for you. Of all the detailed information you've given us, I noticed that you have no family members or emergency contact numbers listed, why is that?"

Mae freezes at his question, her face going slack. Wracking her brain for an answer, she quickly realizes that she's let her mask slip, and attempts to compose herself. Looking up, she prepares to answer him, but then she notices the knowing smile on his face, causing her to pull her lips into grim line.

This was a mistake. I should have waited longer, planned better. What have I done? He'll kill me for sure if I go back there. How do I fix this? Think Mae-Vera, think!

Eyeing the doctor, Mae watches as he leans back in his chair and crosses his right leg over his left, clasping his hands atop his stacked knees. "I started working here at the age of thirty. On my first day here, I met Miss Judith, the receptionist, and it was love at first sight. After seeing each other for two years, we got married and started a family of our own. I am the proud father of a son and a daughter, twins, and in a few months I'll be a grandfather to a beautiful baby girl.

"I am now going on fifty-nine, which also happens to mean that I've been working with the beautiful minded people of your sort for more than half my life. My point being this: I have had lots of practice with liars. I know when a lie is about to be told, I know when someone is attempting to tell a lie for selfish or impure reasons, and I know the face of a person telling a lie to protect themselves.

"Do you know which one of the two I think you are? I think you're formulating lie after lie inside that pretty little head of yours because you're hiding from something, or someone; and don't think I didn't notice the look of distrust you just gave me." The doctor pauses, smiling at Mae's dumfounded expression, then, he continues. "Now, would you like to try that again?"

Mae's mouth is hanging wide open, did that really just happen? Pulling herself together, she starts to say, "I, uhm, I don't know what you're..."

The doctor cuts her off with a cheeky grin, making a show of getting comfortable in his seat, "I have all day, Miss Martins. All night, too, if you so please,"

Knowing that she's been caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar, and that she now has no way out, Mae sighs, deciding to just get it out. "Fine, then. Hearts, can I call you that?" She states, more than asks, but she doesn't give the man a chance to respond before she goes on. "Do you want me to tell you the truth? Well here it is..."

As Mae tells her story, voice quivering every so often as she fights the tears, Hearts listens quietly. The only other occasional sounds being his pen scratching against paper as he jots down notes. When she's finished reliving her past, she sniffles and wipes away the tears that she'd let escape when it became too hard for her to keep up the bravado.

Letting out a long sigh, Hearts gives Mae a sad smile, "I'm sorry that you had to go through all that, especially on your own, but I'm glad that you made the choice to leave him behind and instead come to us for help. Now that I know about your past, I think I'll be able to do more to help you. Thank you for telling me the truth, Mae. May I call you that?" She nods her head quickly, and so he continues. "Fantastic! Mae, I will now make a call to Judith, and set up a room for you. Considering the sensitive nature of your mental health and your past, would you rather a roommate or some privacy?"

"I wasn't aware I had a choice," Mae starts with a frown, prompting the doctor to speak up.

"Under normal circumstances, you wouldn't have a choice: you'd be given a room to share with another young female whether you liked it or not and that would be the end of it. But, because I am me, and you are you, I can pull some strings and get you a private setup if it's what you choose. You're what we call a special exception."

Mae nods her head in understanding, pursing her lips, "In that case, I would prefer to be on my own, please." After a quick pause, she speaks again, "And doctor? You're the only one who will know about my past, right? Unless I decide otherwise, that is,"

"Of course, Mae, I would never betray another person's trust that way, and even if I want to, I'm bound by doctor patient confidentiality. The only time another would find out is if you had to change doctors for some reason or if you chose to speak to someone about it of your own volition. The nurses, of course, will know too, since I have to write it down on file, but they, too, are not allowed to speak of it. Do you understand that?"

Mae nods her head, feeling silly for forgetting that she's now in a hospital and that all attending staff would know her darkest secrets whether she liked it or not, though she was comforted by the fact that none of the other patients would know unless she chose to tell them. "I understand, thank you, Hearts. What happens now?"

"Now, I make a phone call and organize a room for you. It shouldn't take more than a few minutes, so you can just sit back in your chair and relax. If you want to go splash some cool water on your face or anything, there's a bathroom right across the hall from my office. Just come back in here when you're done." Nodding her head once more, Mae excuses herself and goes to the bathroom.

After relieving herself she goes to the sink to wash her hands. Looking up into the mirror before her, Mae immediately notices how blotchy her eyes and face look from crying. Splashing some cold water on her face like the good doctor had suggested, Mae attempts to get rid of some of the redness in her cheeks.

Eventually, her face starts to go back to its usual porcelain pale shade, only her now-muddy-green eyes remain slightly puffy and bloodshot, knowing it wouldn't get any better than that she takes a deep breath and goes back into Hearts' office. As she enters, he looks up and gives a small smile when he sees her.

"Alright, that's perfect, thank you, I'll be bringing her in soon." He states before putting down the phone and standing up from his desk, gathering Mae's papers in his hands. "Why don't you grab your things, I'll go get Judith and I'll be with you shortly."

Mae goes for her bag and sets it on her lap as she waits on the chair she's been sitting on throughout their meeting. Not long after he's left, Hearts returns with Judith beside him, Judith holding a few more forms and a pen while he holds the same papers that he left with.

Judith smiles at Mae, "Come along now, dear, we're going to take you to your room and get a few more forms filled in and signed by you, then you can turn in for the night."

* * * * *

Jaydon is counting down the days until he gets released from this hell-hole. It's not his first visit to the psychiatric ward but it will, however, be his last. That is, so long as he can manage to behave himself and keep up the masquerade for a few more weeks. Except for the fact that one screw up on his part will result in permanent residence within Johnston's Psychiatric Hospital, it should be smooth sailing from here on out.

"...she's just so sad now lately, y'know? I don't know what to do anymore, I've tried everything!" Dave continues to rant about his imaginary pet unicorn whose name Jaydon doesn't even bother trying to recall.

Leaving the room, Jaydon walks to the common room and glides over to the chair he has made his own, only to find that there was already a man sitting in it with an air of smugness about him. Seemingly unfazed by this, Jaydon strolls up to the guy with a threateningly friendly smile on his face.

Speaking as if he and the intruder were the best of pals, he said, "Comfy chair, huh?"

The intruder eyes Jaydon wearily, but then sticks his nose in the air and pretends he hadn't heard. "I love how it's placed in the perfect spot. You can see everyone and everyone can see you - it's a throne, really, if you think about it. But then, you already knew that, didn't you?" Jaydon paused here, staring down at the man with a sickeningly sweet smile, making him gulp nervously.

"You probably also knew that it's my chair. My throne." Jaydon's smile dropped and he feigned a jump at the man, making him yelp and flinch away in fear.

Jaydon started grinning like a maniac. "Do you know what happened to the last guy who tried to take my chair? Last I heard he was put into a padded cell, do you want that to happen to you too?" Jaydon cocked his head to the right and threw the imposter a dazzling smile, but it wasn't sincere. It was a threatening smile, the kind of smile that sends shivers down your spine.

Without waiting for a response, Jaydon grabbed the smaller-framed man at his collar and hauled him to his feet, shoving him against the nearest wall and pushing his forearm into his throat. "Don't ever fuck with me again, you little shit."

With no regard for the consequences and without thinking his actions through, Jaydon acted out in misplaced anger. He reached into the intruder's mind and warped his thoughts, screwing with his personality and making all of his worst nightmares a reality inside his head.

Just as Jaydon slowly came to his senses, he started to regret what he'd done. He'd just thrown away his last chance at freedom, his last chance to escape and fix things on the outside. Not surprisingly, he felt himself being grabbed by multiple hands and being pulled away from the now-screaming man. He felt the prick of a needle as it broke through the surface of his skin.

"Oh, fuck me," he'd said, just as everything went black and he went limp.