"Gary Anderson!" Robert clapped his hands together in excitement. "What took you so long my dude?"

"Hey, Robby," Gray said and they did their weird bro handshake hug thing. Then he turned to me, and even in the dull moonlight light, saw my eyes roll. "Hey River." He greeted me softly.

"What are you doing here Gray?" I practically spat at him.

"I wanted to talk to you, and you weren't answering your phone, and there was no answer at the front door, and I heard some people back here, so I just came back here. I didn't know there was a party going on." Gray's voice was so soft, so sad, I almost felt bad for him. But why? I caused me so much pain! I shouldn't feel bad for him one bit. Though when I looked into his gorgeous eyes, the crushing feeling in my chest isn't there, just butterflies. What's wrong with me? I should want to slap him for what he did, though when I think back to that night, it's not Gray I see. I know that sounds crazy, but it was a drunk and high version of himself. It wasn't this guy who is staring at me with so much feeling and care towards me.

"It seems like you two have some things to work out," Robert said awkwardly. "Find me inside when you're done?" He asked me and I nodded.

When Robert closed the basement door, I turned my attention to Gray. I was waiting for him to say something, but it seemed like he was doing the same. "What do you want?" I broke the silence.

"I, I want to apologize." He said nervously.

"Okay." I shrugged. "Is that it?"

"Come on Riv-"

"River." I corrected him coldly.

"River, sorry. Talk to me. Yell at me, slap me, I deserve it!" I nodded to myself, he was right. So I quickly raised my hand and slapped him as hard as I could across the face. He let out a small grunt and his hand brushed over the red mark where I hit him. "Thanks." He smiled at me.

"Are we done here?" I asked and turned to leave but he grabbed my wrist. My head shot back and quickly ripped my arm away.

"I'm sorry." He apologized suddenly.

"I can't do this right now Gray," I told him and took a step backward, keeping a large distance between us. "I don't want to."

"Okay." He said quietly. "I understand. I just can't believe I ruined the one real thing I had with a girl I like so much."

"You like me?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Of course." He laughed. "I never wanted to be with anyone this badly." His words took the breath out of me and his eyes took my words. "I know I don't deserve a second chance, but I'm going to be selfish and ask for it anyway."

"Gray, I-" What do you say when the one boy you've always wanted is begging for you? I would be dumb to say no, but would he hurt me again? Could I risk feeling the way I felt last time? No, I couldn't survive it. "I never kissed anyone before," I said quickly. I saw the stunned look on his face, and my answer stunned me too. "I've never done anything with a boy, and you took those firsts away from me. Except for my first kiss of course because you went straight down. You would have taken something else from me that night if Logan didn't stop you." I couldn't believe I was saying this to him, it felt so good to tell him off. The look on his face, the guilt and regret, it was perfect. But in some strange way, I still wanted him. I wanted him to smile at me again, instead of looking at me with his sad puppy dog eyes. My feeling of triumph turned to shame for making him so upset. I had to stop myself from jumping into his arms, from trying to feel bad, I needed to feel angry again. "You suck Gray. You fucking suck! You don't know what I've been going through. You were the first guy to show a real interest in me, to show me someone can care, but you ruined it, and I've been going through hell!" Before I knew it, I was in tears and so was he. "You fucking suck!"

"I'm so, so sorry River." He said through tears. "I'll leave."

"No Gray." I stopped as he turned around. "You are my brother's best friend, you play football with him and we go to the same school. We will be in each other's lives so it's about time you walk inside and go talk to my brother. Make amends with him."

"But nothing matters unless you forgive me. Please River." Gray dropped on his knees and looked up at me with his large puppy dog eyes that were dripping with tears. "Please."

I forgive you! I wanted to yell so badly, I wanted to let him hold me in my arms, I wanted everything to be okay. But then I looked down at my wrist and saw the faint scares witch I did because of him. "I will never forgive you, Gray." I said and then turned to head inside. "But you should talk to Logan, and maybe one day, I won't hate you as much as I do right now."