Seven moons ago...

A warrior being 'in love' with an apprentice...

No cat in the five Clans had ever heard of this happening before. It was simply just unheard of and a complete act of abomination to do such a thing. It was cruel, it was sickening... It was gut wrenching and evil, and no cat could have seen this coming.

No cat aside from Rainpaw, the victim.

He had seen this coming. From the first day that Petalstar brought the miserable she-cat to their Clan to the day that she actually had forced him to become her mate, Rainpaw had seen it coming. It seemed as though she was his curse. She was here to hurt him, to torture him, and to make him hate everything about himself for every pathetic lie he had told, for every piece of rotten prey that he had stolen, and for every foul thing he had committed to his Clan. She was his karma.

This was what he deserved. Surely this was meant to make him realize his wrongdoings and make him repent for everything he had done wrong. But instead, it only made his hatred spread. He hated Petalstar for bringing the flea ridden cat to his Clan. He hated his family for being so weak and scared that they refused to do anything to help him. He hated his friends for looking at him with disgust as if he were the abuser in the relationship.

They could all die for all he cared for. They were all just as bad as him, even if none of them wanted to admit it.

Rainpaw stared down at his two kittens, his green eyes dim with disdain and disgust as he watched them suckle on their mother. He hated them. He hated them so much that he could feel his entire body quivering with rage. He was tempted to leave, to scream a thousand curses at his mate and to abandon them like he knew that he should... But he stayed.

Why?

That was a question that Rainpaw didn't know the answer to. He didn't understand why he stayed. He could have run away. He could have told her 'no'. He could have told Petalstar what she was doing to him while they were out training deep in the woods. But he hadn't.

Why?

He didn't know why. He wanted to, but he couldn't find the answer. He had thought that these kittens would have brought him some joy. He had thought that out of this relationship of disgust, cruelty, and terror, that something good might have come out of it by having these kittens with her. But he'd been disappointed to find out that his feelings towards the she-cat and his kittens hadn't changed at all.

He still wanted them to die.

The mother of his two kits suddenly lifted her large head up from her paws, and he felt his body tense up with discomfort as her amber eyes bore into his pelt. He didn't look away from his kits. He continued to stare at them, but he forced his gaze to soften as he finally opened his mouth to speak to his mate.

"They are beautiful, Spottedheart. Very much like you," he murmured softly, hoping to StarClan that he sounded sincere.

Unfortunately, it was very clear by the look on the tortoiseshell's face that he had not sounded at all convincing. She could always tell when he was lying. She was his curse, after all.

"I know that she is beautiful. She is my daughter, after all," Spottedheart mewed coldly as she stared at him with such unemotional eyes. It was as if she was too good for him to even express anger towards him. "Your son, on the other paw, is weak, like you. A scrawny little thing that shouldn't have been born."

Spottedheart looked down at her two little kits, bug she stared at her large she-kit in particular with sudden pride. Her cold gaze melted slightly as she leaned down to lick their daughter's forehead.

"My daughter was born for greatness. It is foretold in the stars that it is her fate," the she-cat whispered.

She's delusional.

Rainpaw didn't understand any of her nonsense. The stars couldn't talk, nor could she understand what the stars were saying, if they even were talking. She didn't speak star. It wasn't a real thing. She was simply just some crazy she-cat who didn't understand half of what she was saying sometimes.

Of course, he refused to say this out loud. He didn't want to cause an argument with her so soon after she had given birth to the little maggots.

"I agree -"

"Stop talking," Spottedheart snapped, looking back up at him with annoyance as she bared her yellow fangs at him. "If I wanted to hear a suck up talk, I would have asked for your sister to come see me."

And Rainpaw did exactly that; he shut up. Rainpaw snapped his mouth shut and nodded in submission to her. This was probably for the best. He wasn't sure if even he could stomach any more of his lies either.

Spottedheart sniffed in contempt as he did what she ordered him to, but she didn't seem pleased by him still. It seemed as though Rainpaw could never satisfy her.

After a moment of silence, Spottedheart finally turned to look back down at her kits. Or, more so at her daughter. It was clear that she already had a favorite kit.

"... Specklekit is a perfect name for my speckled daughter," she murmured gently as she nuzzled her sleeping daughter with her black nose. Her son, on the other paw, was shivering and mewling pitifully by the end of her paws, and he seemed to be searching for his mother's warmth.

Rainpaw felt a pang of remorse for his son. It wasn't his fault that he was small. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't strong. He was just... Different. Different, like Rainpaw was. There was no shame in being a runt.

Without really thinking about it, Rainpaw slowly leaned down to lick his son's cold pelt. He smelled like moss and dirt, and it was clear that Spottedheart had not fed him yet. He didn't smell like his mother's milk, unlike Specklekit. He was so small... So vulnerable and defenseless. He reminded Rainpaw so much of his kit self.

The kit stopped mewling as Rainpaw licked the top of his small head, and it instead began to crawl closer to his body. Rainpaw was unsure of why it was, but this kit was special. This kit - his son - was good. He was going to grow up to be an important cat. Rainpaw could feel it deep inside of him that his son wasn't going to grow up to be like Spottedheart.

Maybe this kit is worth being happy for. Maybe some good did come out of this relationship...

That feeling didn't last very long though.

"I want you to take that runt out to the woods, and I want you to snap it's neck. I want it dead, Rainpaw."

Spottedheart's voice was chilling on its own, but her words of commandment truly struck fear into Rainpaw's heart. He lifted his head up and stared at the tortoiseshell she-cat, and he gave her a slow blink as if he were processing her cruel command.

And then he realized what exactly she was asking of him, and it made him feel sick to his stomach.

Rainpaw couldn't kill this kit. This kit was his kin - his son. He couldn't kill it just because she told him to. No, he had to protect this precious life from her cruelty. He didn't deserve any of the evilness that Spottedheart had stored away in her dark heart. He had to protect his son.

But he couldn't speak up for his son's own sake. He could hardly speak up for himself...

Instead, Rainpaw said something else.

"But won't someone see me leave the camp with him?" He whispered nervously, his ear tip twitching as his anxiety spiked. He looked over his shoulder, hoping that none of the other nursery cats could hear him, but they seemed to all be sleeping... Good. He looked back at Spottedheart. "What if I'm caught?"

Spottedheart's ear flicked in seemingly amusement by his anxiety. She had always found his jittery personality to be hilarious.

"You can either do this for me, or I can kill him myself and make it agonizingly slow," she said in a sickeningly sweet purr as she nuzzled her daughter's head. All of her pride, hard work, and love was being poured into her only healthy kit, and it made Rainpaw want to toss the she-kit in the lake. "Do not bother me with your babbling. I have to take care of my daughter."

And with that the conversation was over. Rainpaw watched as Spottedheart stood up from her nest and leaned down to grab her daughter by the scruff of her neck, and then she turned her piercing amber eyes on Rainpaw. Rainpaw quickly sat up and backed away from the massive she-cat, and he furrowed his brows with concern as he realized that she was going to take their kit out of the warm, safe nursery.

"What are you doing? Where are you taking her?" He mewed anxiously as he glanced down at his shivering son. He then looked back at Spottedheart. "You can't leave the nursery. Especially not with the kits."

Spottedheart rolled her eyes in irritation as Rainpaw mewed like a crying kit. She gently set her plump kit down by her fore paws, and she leaned forward to get in Rainpaw's face. Her breath stank of crow-food, and it took all of Rainpaw's strength to not recoil from her.

"I can do whatever I want with my kit. She is my daughter, and I have the right to leave this Clan with her if I choose to. This place will make her weak, just like the rest of you, and I do not want that future for her," she hissed under her breath, her amber eyes boring into his own green ones. "You can keep your pathetic son alive if that is what you desire, but my daughter needs to be brought up right. I cannot do that here."

Rainpaw flinched as her words cut through him like claws. He couldn't understand why she talked so badly about his weaknesses when she had specifically chosen him to be her mate. If she thought he was so useless, then why had she had kits with him?

"But... But I can't raise our son on my own," he mewed. "I don't have milk or any knowledge on -"

"Then don't raise it. Let Skywish raise it, or Leopardtail. Like I said before, I don't care what you do with it. I'd prefer it to be dead, but I don't have the time to take care of it. I must bring my daughter to where she belongs," she said in a tone that left no room for argument.

Spottedheart leaned back and then bent down to scoop up her kit in her powerful jaws. Her figure was terrifying in the gloom of the nursery, and the moonlight left pale dapples on her dull pelt. She was like an evil spirit that threatened to haunt this place...

Rainpaw swallowed back a nervous gulp as Spottedheart turned her back on him and carefully stalked out of the nursery. Her bushy tail was the last thing he saw as she left him alone with his son. Rainpaw waited for a heartbeat to pass, and then he quickly ran over to Skywish. He reached over and nudged the sleeping queen with his nose. His eyes were wide with terror.

"Skywish. Skywish!" He whispered in a shaky voice.

The plump queen was heavily pregnant and due any day now, but Rainpaw couldn't wait. He knew that this she-cat was strong enough to deal with Spottedheart.

He wasn't sure why he cared about what Spottedheart was doing. He wasn't sure why he cared about what could possibly happen to his daughter. It was only a moment ago that he had been wishing death upon his two kits, but now? Now, there was some feeling being stirred within him, and it screamed at him to protect his kits.

"Skywish, Spottedheart took off with the kits!" He blurted, giving the sleeping queen one last final nudge that almost sent her falling out of her nest.

Skywish instantly became alert, and she scrambled onto her paws with a bushy pelt and lashing tail. The queen's bright blue eyes scanned the nursery, and her gaze finally fell onto the small apprentice. A flicker of pity flashed through her gaze, but he didn't have time for her grief and emotions. Rainpaw took a step back from Skywish and nodded towards the nursery entrance.

"She just left with the she-kit. I think she's going to do something awful to her," he cried out, unable to hide his fear now.

Skywish shook her head and her once pitiful expression was now replaced with a fierce determination. She quickly padded past Rainpaw, who stayed in the nursery with his son, and she lashed her tail to and fro. She was riled up now, and there was no calming this she-cat down.

"She's not going anywhere with that kit," Skywish hissed before slipping through the moss curtains and disappearing into the clearing.

Rainpaw was trembling with anxiety and fear, and he couldn't bring himself to go back up the brave she-cat. He just couldn't. Instead, he told himself that his son needed him. Yes, that's why he couldn't leave. His son needed him. Skywish would be fine. Skywish was a strong cat. She'd be fine.

Rainpaw then hurried over to his son, and he curled around his fragile little kit. He nudged the kit close to his stomach, and he tried to occupy himself by tending to his son. He could feel his kit shivering violently from the lack of heat in the nursery, and he tried his best to not fidget and squirm as he attempted to warm up his kit.

It was silent out there. It was too quiet... Something wasn't right. Rainpaw could feel it. Something bad was going to happen.

And it's all my fault. Why am I like this? Why can't I be better?

Rainpaw stared at the moss curtain, and that's when he heard a high pitched screech tear through the night.

Word count: 2441