Dear whoever is here,                                               

I don't like this, The feeling of failing, of fall of a bridge as it crumbles underneath me, a bridge where I once was stood steady and strong now broken, like me. I don't like this feeling, the feeling that my whole world is falling apart and crumbling all around me. As if one wrong step, one slight movement will send it all down on to me. As if the sky has fallen and now is resting on my shoulders. Pushing me down, and down and down, further into the ground. sinking into a dark abyss. A place with no escape. As I sink I think of what lead me here. My mistakes, my failure, my wrongdoings, my misunderstandings, everything. As I continue to sink into the ground slowly I look up to see the night sky through the opening of the whole in which I am being buried in. Broken, alone, just waiting for the dirt and ground to finish swallowing me whole and to close up the gap above me. So that I may never escape, not that it was even possible, to begin with anyway but still. My hand stretches out of the hole as I reach for the sky, for the stars, the moon, for freedom, for hope for someone, anyone to help me. Only for me to pull my arm back in towards my body as the ground closes up above me. Leaving me in darkness. The sky and moon, hidden by the dirt and ground that confides me to this darkened abyss as I am buried alive. By the dirt, by my issues, by my problems, by my work, by everything. Buried by the same problems that once weighed me down. 

They say it helps when the problems are gone. When you no longer feel like your carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Because I no longer carry that weight on my shoulders. Not since it buried me alive. Because by the stage that that weight is gone your buried deep, by then your shoulders are already forever damaged. By then I am already gone, buried beneath your feet. Whether you realise it or not, I am gone. So far gone, to deeply buried for you to raise me up again and even if you could raise me up again I will still always remember. I will be like a wounded shoulder coming home from war. We battle scars with those that you can see and those that you can't. Yet I can still feel them all the same. Like someone with a Saddened Heart, a Darkened Psych, a Tainted Soul, a Shattered Spirit, a Broken Mind and a no longer pure nor innocent life. For I am Scarred, Broken, Shattered, Buried, Deep in an abyss in which I may be pulled from but one in which I will never truly escape. Memories remain, NIghtmares come, Hope is lost, Good is forgotten and innocence is abandoned after being ripped from me.  Sure I was innocent and pure once, I was once unbroken and not shattered but that changed when I failed. When all of the pressure and stress caught up to me when I stumbled on my path and never could find my way again. I am lost and may never be truly found for I failed, I fell off the bridge as it crumbled beneath me. I was weighed down by my problems and buried by them. You pulled me out, but the darkness will remain with me. 

Forever and always,

A Broken and Buried Failure (Bbf)

A/N, PLEASE READ (sorry for all caps)

This was not originally a letter but at the end, the 'Forever and always' sounded like something you would end a letter with so I just added the dear at the start and the sign off at the end to make it a letter. I hope you like how I added the signature this ng at the end if you can't tell it says 'Bbf'. Which stands for Broken, Buried, Failure. I have a lot more pre-written stores I just have to type up when I get time. I am hoping to start some of my actual books soon but I have a few more things to figure out for them. I think I have a plan for about three or four original books and some Fan fictions for like Marvel and maybe Percy Jackson though I am very busy at the moment so they may have to wait till closer to the end of the year. I am also debating on whether I pre-write them and just have a schedule publishing of chapters or whether I should Just write the chapters as I go and publish after I finish one. I actually wrote this after I got an exam result back. I didn't do as well as I hoped I would but it was hard topics and barley anyone finished all of Part B for the exam anyway so yeah. I hope you liked this. I know I write a lot of dark and sad stuff but I write these chapter/story things to help get out my emotions. I have a lot I started writing ages ago as well that I have to try and either restart because I no longer get what I was going to write about since I no longer and feeling the emotions I was when I first thought of that idea. I will try my best and I will try to get all of the unfinished, not typed up yet and unpublished chapters on this story/book done in the next few weeks. Stay Safe

First Published on the 30th of June 2020