I had just managed to slip into the gown I had procured for the gala under Kylo's authority when a knowing shiver eases over my spine, followed by a strong pair of knocks at the door.

I purse my lips and glance into the mirror one final time for any loose pieces in my elaborate hairstyle or smudged makeup. When I find none, I allow myself to smile at how beautiful the gown manages to make my bone-thin, ridiculously pale body look. I touch the red, twisted skin of one of my burn scars that peeks out under the glittery golden strap, deciding to look away before any hateful thoughts are given the chance to cloud my mind.

As I approach the door, I adjust the gold bangle at my wrist which holds a delicate replacement for my missing, burned finger in place.

I could never even dream of forgetting that night, as my body served as a permanent reminder of all I had lost.

And as Kylo gazed upon me, he too would never be able to forget.

The heaviness tugging at my heart over the somber contemplation managed to whither back into its place in the shadows as I felt how near he was, now that I finally let the door hiss open.

I freeze in front of him, drinking in his appearance as he surely does the same. He'd put on a nicer tunic than the robes he typically wore, the black fabric shining faintly in the light. His long sleeves are smooth, as opposed to ribbed, and a charming side-cape billows over his right arm. He'd even tamed his curls, the dark locks smoothed away from his expressive face, the bottom of his ears poking out ever-so-slightly. The scar that broke jaggedly through his features had somehow managed to make him more handsome.

A faint blush has warmed his ivory cheeks, and I take notice immediately.

"You look..." And he trailed off then, his jaw twitching as his beautiful eyes slowly slipped over me. If it were anyone else I would've immediately covered myself, the movement unwelcome and rendering me self conscious, but because it was Ren, I only felt warmth.

"No mask?" I remark teasingly, reaching out to grasp his arm, which he dutifully accepts, lacing his fingers with mine in the process.

"I didn't think you'd like it." He admits after a moment, glancing at me several times. The corners of my mouth lilt up as I settle on surveying the corridor and its scarce passerby.

"You know me well." I mumble, turning to look at him again. I hug his forearm to my chest and kiss his bicep, the sound of his heartbeat fluttering at the back of my mind.

As comfortable silence falls over us, I think back to all that is depending on the vital information I could get out of the First Order's highest officials tonight, and nerves begin to root their place in the pit of my stomach. This task is far more daunting than having to spy on my love- and knowing he will be loyally at my side as I do it only turns my insides worse.

Remember your friends, your family, who you grew up with- dead and gone. The burn scars. The emptiness that never left you as you carried on for six bloody years as a shell of your former self. The promising life that had been ripped away from you.

I remind myself of each of these things to wear away the dread I feel when I think of deceiving Kylo, the one person I have come to terms with loving the most in the galaxy, but it only makes me feel worse.

Then we are hit with a wall of chatter as we approach what must be the ballroom, which is surprisingly large for a giant ship drifting through space, and I try my best to emulate Leia's senatorial look of polite indifference.

Just about every male official is wearing their black dress uniforms, but I am pleasantly surprised to find a large selection of female officials in spectacular gowns, bright color, and representation of the galaxy's latest trends.

Kylo raises my fingers and presses a kiss to the back of my hand as we slip through the entryway, before leading me straight to the refreshment table. A path clears for us, and I sense a strong feeling of uncertainty and unease emanating from the crowd of high-ranking officials as they watch us pass.

When we reach the table, I'm trailing Kylo as he picks through hors d'oeuvres. I turn to a punch bowl and reach for a glass, when a trooper in his grey formal uniform approaches me with a tray holding a single glass of violet liquid. He presents the tray, silently imploring me to take it with raised eyebrows and a nod. I frown, but decide that he must be eager to be rid of it so he may fetch a new tray. Reluctantly I take it, after glancing around the room and taking note of several identical glasses.

I go back to Kylo, placing my palm on his upper arm and leaning close to him so he can hear me in the loud room. "Should we talk to anyone?" I practically shout. I watch him grumble to himself and begrudgingly nod, moving away from the table.

He decides to stop at a circle of officials, which unluckily includes General Hux. As they step back to make room for us, I send him a scathing glare, this having been the first time I've lain eyes on his sneering face since he threw me in a cell. He simply ignores my gaze, barely inclining his head as the officer who had handed me my drink relays something to him quietly, to which he nods.

As Kylo stands quietly while the officials chat around him, and I am reminded to take a minor sip at my drink. I raise my eyebrows when I realize just how good it tastes, then step forward minutely and try to listen in on their conversation without making my thorough digestion of each word known.

"Lovely thing, she is. You took the right one as prisoner, Ren." One man remarks, and I lift my head so fast at this that my vision blurs at the edges. They're all smirking at me, which makes it nearly impossible to decipher who exactly had said it, and I feel my stomach turn in disgust.

I also feel the burst of burning wrath that rolls off of Kylo in waves at that instant, and I quickly take his clenched fist as an attempt to soothe him, to little avail.

"She's not a thing, Admiral. And the next time you suggest she's here on anyone's terms but her own, I'll personally have you bound and fed to a damned sarlacc." He seethes, looming over the older man who regards him with wide eyes and a slackened jaw.

"Easy." I mumble, gently pulling him back to me. Heat washes over my face and it takes me several moments to notice I'd begun to sway, which is absolutely absurd, so I stop.

Kylo protectively places his hand at the small of my back and continues to stare down the officers who'd witnessed the conversation. My throat grows dry, so I raise the glass of fragrant purple liquid to my lips and take two long, hard gulps, shuddering as it burns on its way down. When I glance up, I notice a sinister smirk on Hux's face as he watches me, but I decide to ignore it.

"Didn't she use to train with Luke Skywalker? Sounds like Resistance scum if I've ever heard of it." Hux decidedly twists the knife, and I glance at Kylo as he furiously twists his plump lips, trying to hold his tongue.

"Well, even if she was with the Resistance, she'd have nothing to come back to in a couple of days." A woman beside Hux remarks, to which they all laugh. I bite my lip to hold in a gasp at the sudden revelation, the exact information I had been sent here to acquire.

I have to warn them, now.

"Come on." Kylo huffs angrily, dragging me away before I can gain any more intel. My drink sloshes over my wrist, my knees having become too wobbly to keep me upright. I trail after him as we bump into countless people, but I've lost the ability to walk in my heels, too.

When I begin to stumble, Kylo easily catches me, propping me back up with both hands on my shoulders. He leans slightly forward, his dark, inquisitive eyes searching my face, when I hiccup loudly and he flinches. I can't help the broad, amused grin that takes over my face directly after.

"What have you been drinking?" He asks, snatching my glass from my hand before I have the chance to protest. I reach for it helplessly, letting out a childish whimper. He turns his back on me and sniffs the drink, his face displaying distaste, and finally going grim the following moment.

His eyebrows crash down and he angrily pitches the glass at the floor where it bursts to pieces, the sound drawing the attention of everyone around us. Kylo mutters to himself and grabs my wrist, slipping us through the entryway before the murmuring starts.

"Kylo, I feel funny." I slur. My tongue feels as if it's swollen to twice its size. It's too big in my mouth, I decide, and rough as sandpaper. I stick it out and poke it with the tip of my finger.

"Come here, Lya." He answers, his voice soft. I see him outstretch his arms and I gladly comply, letting him scoop me up off the floor. The sparkling skirts of my dress billow over his left arm, dragging over the tiles of a corridor I don't recognize as my own.

I am so tired then, like I haven't slept in hundreds of years. I let my head rest on his chest, sensing his faint heartbeat thrumming on my cheek instead of sensing it as I usually do.

A pair of unmarked doors slide open, and something tells me that we are inside his room.

Kylo sets me down gently on his massive bed, propping me up against the headboard so he can help me out of my gown. When I'm in my underclothes, he averts his gaze and turns to take a large black jumper from one of his drawers, turning back to hand it to me.

When I deny it, shoving his hand away, his eyes flick to me in surprise, and he purses his lips.

"I really, really want you right now, Ben. Please?" I admit, though my vision seems to have gone dark at the edges, but I see his perfect face split into complete surprise. To show I'm serious, I grab at one of the straps of my undershirt and start slipping it over my shoulder, when he grabs my hand.

"Not tonight, Lyra. You need to sleep." He denies, so quietly, presenting the jumper to me again. A feeling of rejection tugs at my heart but nevertheless I take it. He helps me to pull it over my head, and I shrug several times to help it settle on my chest.

"Why not?" I finally let out, after having to gather the courage to do so.

Kylo walks around the bed, having already changed for the night. He slips under the blankets beside me and I copy him. He clears his throat.

"You're drunk." He answers simply. He dims the artificial lights. He reaches for me again, and I reluctantly climb into his embrace, allowing him to kiss my forehead. His chest is warm on my back, and I fold into his large form perfectly.

I feel his breath at the base of my neck, which quickly slows, and just before slumber claims me, I realize that Kylo had managed to fall asleep, peacefully, for the first time in months.

-

i am: BACK

rlly long chapter for y'all bc it was my birthday (june) and i felt like it :D

i cant help it i love writing lyra n kylo being all ~lovey~ with each other

i hope u guys enjoyed this, tell me what u thought of the chapter! don't forget to vote, comment, and SHARE!!!

-kait