Feeling the firm rope around my neck, and knowing that this was my last hour, I just couldn't leave without... something. I pull out my phone, brought up Messager, and I looked at the messages, the names, before coming to his. I paused, and after a shaky breath, I click the phone beside his name. It rang, and rang, and rang...

No pick up, as I figured. 

-Please leave a message after the tone-

*Beep*

"Hey... Devan... I just... I just wanted to call... and say... say I'm sorry." My voice was soft, quiet, so unlike the normal me. Then again, this wasn't my normal me. This was my last day me. This was broken me. 

"I'm sorry I messed up. I'm sorry I fucked up. I'm sorry that I ruined us." I blurted out, unable to stop myself.

"I regret my actions and I wish I could have made it up to you somehow. I mean... I figured out what I did wrong and I was willing to admit it, and willing to... to change. To adapt and learn to move around it." Tears running down my face now, my brain hurts. Everything hurts. It's just so painful. "I got out of hand... but you wouldn't let me fix my mistakes. Just... silence."

"I was worried sick. I was afraid. You wouldn't answer me. I was anxious to the point of panic attacks and you didn't... YOU KNEW." Anger entered my voice. The last time I would feel it, I feel I deserved it. "I told you I would get possessive time to time. I told you that I was anxious. You told me you would never drop me, that I wouldn't have to fear you doing that to me... BUT YOU DID." 

I could get loud. No one was home. No one was going to be home for a while. Long enough for me to do this one last thing and just... leave quietly?

"You promised me a world, a future, hope. All I asked is that you didn't... betray my trust. Betray what faith I put in." My voice quivered, my sobs quiet yet heard. "I... I trusted you... and what sickens me most... is that if given the chance, I would have trusted you again."

"I would do it again, putting my faith in you. You... and Auric.... and Solstice... I would do it again. That's what I can't handle. Is that despite all that happened... I still love and cherish you all still. So I hope you understand that, when you get the news."

I paused, lightly breathing, before continuing.

"I'm dying, Devan. I... I am committing suicide. Hanging myself. Poetic aint it? More like Ironic, seeing as the stuff I'm into." I murmured. "I... I want you at my funeral, if you would honor my last wish. I want you there, so that... that you can say good bye. So I can have peace. I dunno. Maybe it's just a sadistic wish of mine to have you see what you did. Who knows? Maybe you do, as you know the inners of the mind."

"I hope you will forgive me. I hope you all forgive me. I hope... I hope we all can try again, in another life. I hope you live a good life, Devan. Take care of my sister for me, wont you? Be there for her?"

"Ha ha... Pathetic isn't it... Well... I should let you go... I had hoped... just this once... you would have picked up."

"Good bye, Devan."

At that, I sent the voicemail, and put my phone down. I take a breath, let it out, look down, and smile. 

"I... I'm coming home... I'm coming home... Tell the world I'm coming home..."

My voice wavers with slight laughter and sorrow, tears streaking down my face, as I tip the chair. One last deep breath, and the chair tips over completely. My eyes bulge, I gasp for air that would not come, and after a few moments, I was gone.