Chapter 6. (The book.)

Jason.

Xavier had not eaten yet and had disappeared after being there for a very short time. I let the water mold to what I felt and to my horror the water formed a large pounding heart with an X in the middle. Just then Xavier came back and he saw the heart, I quickly dropped the heart and turned around. I started throwing stones into the water and I heard Xavier coming closer.

Xavier.

I looked with wide eyes at where the pounding heart could be seen a few seconds ago. "What-" I mumbled and stood rooted to the spot. "Jason, what is this?-" I couldn't move but forced myself to take a step towards him. "What was that heart?" I stood a few feet away and waited for an answer. Jason turned to me but said nothing. It was on the tip of his tongue, I could see it, but he couldn't get it out.

Jason.

"Sorry, I can't help it, my thoughts went their own way and I couldn't help it..." I looked at him, petrified. and begged: "Xavier, please say something..." he looks at me in shock and it bothers me. "Xavier, please, if you don't talk now, things could get very awkward between us..." I look at him pleadingly.

Xavier.

I just stayed quiet and shook my head as I took a step back. 'What? Jason, we've only known each other for a few weeks.' I shook my head again, I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it. So much has happened and then this?

Jason.

"I don't know what I feel either, and I try to stop it, but I can't help it, I really enjoy being with you and I still have to figure out how I love you." It was out, I told him I loved him. I didn't dare look at him, but I did ask: 'And you, Xavier? What do you feel, don't deny it, you feel something too.'

Xavier.

I shook my head again. "Jason– I like you, yes, but things might be moving a little too fast." I tried not to look at him because I knew he was breaking. 'It's a bit too early. I'm sorry.' I mumbled, still not looking at him. I was playing with my hair as a distraction and took another step back. I tripped over a branch and fell on my butt.

Jason.

I look at him, he likes me, but then again he doesn't? I don't understand it so I let it go. I see him stumble and turn around. I gather my things and when I feel a hand on my shoulder I turn around.

Xavier.

I got up and walked towards him. I put a hand on his shoulder and he turned around. I stood next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. He had a blush on his face and I laughed. "Just give it some time, Gup." I smiled at him and looked at the water in front of us. it will be fine

Jason.

'Sorry, but I can't do that, I can't be with you and not feel what I feel for you, I can't give you the space and time when I'm with you, I'll have to go and then we'll never meet again to see. I'll take the girl and take her back to her mother.' I see his face contorted with pain and I get up, pack the last of my things, give him a quick kiss on the cheek and run off with Desi. I don't look back and shake Desi's hand.

Xavier.

I watched him walk away and I waved at him. The phoenix rested its head against mine. He knew my pain and I collapsed on the floor. I was on my knees and I couldn't stop the tears from coming. I sobbed and cried as the sweet animal on my shoulder tried to comfort me.

Jason.

I asked Desi where she lived and the wind was her compass. We walked and walked and walked until she suddenly asked: 'Why isn't Xavier with us?' And I replied: 'He had to go his own way, so I don't think we'll see him again.' 'Never again?' Desi asked. and I nodded in agreement. She stopped walking and I knelt in front of her to ask what was wrong when she hugged me. I grabbed her and let the tears fall, it had been a difficult choice, but now he was free. Like he wanted to be.

Xavier.

I let the tears flow and the flames swirled around like shards of my thoughts. They showed beautiful images of fire mixed with color. It was a beautiful sight and it cheered me up. A small smile fell across my face as I stood up and spun around letting the fire run wild. I was dancing and letting the fire do what it wanted. I ignored the pain of the skin burning, I embraced it and kept dancing.

Jason.

I walked and walked and didn't expect much. I was walking in an open field and Desi indicated that we were almost there. And when we got there, I couldn't believe what I saw. It was a large building with all kinds of rooms, corridors, people and children. There was also a forest nearby and a lake. It was evening and a campfire was burning. It was very atmospheric and people were sitting around the fire singing songs. Desi ran over and was greeted with loud cheers. My eyes were drawn to a girl with long brown hair and green eyes. She walked up to me and said very directly: 'Has my sister bothered you a lot? She can be quite direct.' 'To be honest, she is a real sweetheart and I got along very well with her, but a friend of mine didn't like her as much.' When I said that, tears welled up in my eyes and I quickly looked away. She wasn't allowed to see it. I breathed in and out and asked about her mother and where she was.

Xavier.

I was dancing and letting the fire guide me. I wanted to release it, I wanted to let the fire have the upper hand and I did that. I let it all out as I danced with the waves of the fire and all the colors it gave. One gust was even hotter than the other and I was right in the middle of it. I laughed as I threw my hands in the air and the fire followed my movement, piercing the air with the fire. The phoenix was spinning around me and pulling me by my hair. It wanted me to continue, the fire was calling me. Told me to keep going. The phoenix pulled me out of the whirlpool of fire and I fell to the ground. 'What are you doing?!' I shouted at that poor animal. But then I realized how much everything hurt.

Jason.

I had spoken to Desi's mother, she turned out to be the mistress and run everything here, she had adopted Nomi (the girl with the brown hair and green eyes) and Desi had come later, her husband had died and she did everything alone here. I was allowed to stay and even apprentice with her. All I had to do was show respect and help her teach the younger children how to use their powers. I agreed and got my own room, normally boys and girls sleep separately in dorms with different age categories, but Nero (Desi and Nomi's mother) felt like I was important to the business, and therefore I had my own room received, next to Nomi's.

Xavier.

I lay on the floor and tore off a part of my sleeve and put it around the worst wound that was on my upper arm. I was sweltering. And the temperature wouldn't drop, so I went into the water and lay down in the shallow end. The current became stronger as I entered it. Much harder even. "You know, if you want me gone, you can just say so." I said to the air and everything in it. At least the pain eased. So I lay there for a while. Even though the gods tried to take me away. The fire had no place in the water.

Jason.

Nomi showed me around and I was well received everywhere, I have a kind of power that everyone feels at ease with me. It is now 7:00 PM and the little ones have to go to bed, the older ones have to put the children to bed, so I also helped. I had to tuck in a 6 year old girl and she looked at me sweetly while I tuck her in. She asked for a story, but I told her I knew something better and I started singing "in the moonlight." In no time the entire dormitory was singing along. I had to laugh a lot with the others and gave the girl another kiss on her forehead. I walked to the campfire with everyone else and we chatted until the 8 to 10 year round came around at 8:20 PM.

Xavier.

The phoenix came towards me again and hovered right above me. "What?" The phoenix didn't say anything, but I knew what he wanted. I don't know how, but I seemed to understand him and he understood me. It pulled my hair with its beak, I stood up with a sigh and followed the bird through the tall trees that gradually turned into a meadow. I saw a large house in the meadow and the phoenix led me to it. People looked up when they saw me and my eyes went wide. I knew them. And she me. I had killed friends of theirs on Fyrver's orders. I took a step back but the phoenix bit me and I continued walking as its eyes followed me. Most of the old kids knew me. I saw the woman running everything and I wanted to run away. I was the reason her husband was dead.

Jason.

I slept wonderfully that night and was able to sleep in, I felt at home and I stayed in my room until at least 1:00 PM to decorate it. I was very pleased with the end result and walked out of my room to have breakfast, aka a late lunch. Then Nomi came to me and she clung to me, her tear-stained face showing that something bad was happening. I gently wiped her tears and gave her a hug. "What is it?" I asked this very seriously and forcefully and she told me that a boy had arrived on the property who was the enemy of this place and I walked outside with her. Xavier stood there covered in burns and scratches. I straightened my back and walked towards him, because I was tall and he was short I was quite intimidating. I walked up to him and slapped him on the cheek. His comeuppance.

Xavier.

My face didn't move as he hit me and I looked down submissively. I was used to it. The phoenix cawed and crowed at Jason. But I held my hand up as a signal for it to stop and he listened. I didn't know why that beast had brought me here, but I turned around. And started walking away again. They didn't want me here so I wouldn't even try again. The phoenix tried to pull me back but I waved him away with my hand. The beast continued to bite. But I didn't move a muscle and allowed it.

Jason.

I raised my hand and let the water buzz over him, when he turned around I asked coldly: 'No reason, no explanation, fear, times of the past, it's all visible to you. What are you doing here? And what have you done? I don't argue or argue, so you better answer.'

Xavier.

I ignored him completely and the water that went over me kept running. I didn't want to see him. Especially if he kept hitting me. That idiot thinks I'm going to say something if he keeps hurting me? I laughed out loud to myself. And kept walking. The phoenix finally surrendered and settled on my shoulder. Cunt.

Jason.

He turned and continued walking. I softened the water jet so that it would be nice for his burns and I noticed that he noticed. 'Xavier... please, how many times have I trusted you, how many times have I saved your life, I owe you, you can't leave me. You don't want to admit it, but when I ask these people here, I only hear 1 story, 1 side of the story, and yours is so important. I can tell from these people that they don't like you and that you scare them, but I know you better than anyone here, let me listen, let me help, you know I will be there for you.' He turned around. and he had tears in his eyes. "I'm bad, I've done very bad things." He threw himself into my arms and we sank to the ground. "You are not bad, you were afraid of your master and had to do bad things, otherwise you would die." I comforted him and helped him get up. When I looked around I saw all kinds of bewildered faces and I said to Nero: 'I will accompany him to my room, hear him out and then listen to your story, then I will give my opinion and a decision will follow from that, trust me, I know what I'm doing.' I said in a calm but clear tone.

Xavier.

I continued to look down as Jason took me to his room, he opened the door for me and I walked in. He said I could sit on his bed, but I stayed standing and leaned against the wall with my arms crossed in front of me. He started asking me questions. "Jason, I was bad." He shook his head but I continued. 'I can't die. I am immortal. If I die, I will surely rise again. I was not afraid of death. But for the pain. I liked killing people. It brought me a sense of mortality when I saw heads rolling. And saw how they felt the pain I always felt.' It was out and I had said it, his eyes widened and he took a step back away from me. 'They have the right to hate me.'

Jason.

I stared at him and made my conclusion. 'It's as if you want to be bad and, damn it, listen to me, I know you much better than you think. I also rise from the dead or can give my power to an heir. That's just the way it is, but we are never bad, we also make mistakes just like everyone else, but that is normal. Xavier I want you to stay here, accompany me and help me with my missions, I will show you that it's not all about murder and manslaughter, it's part of this job, that's how we were made, yes people die, but Just because you may have been bad once doesn't mean you can never improve yourself again.' I put my hand on his shoulder and look at him intently so that he can see that I'm telling the truth.

Xavier.

He told me and looked at me, I felt his arm around my shoulder and I didn't react. I didn't know how to do it. I sighed and looked at the ground where the little red bird was sitting. The creature looked at me and told me to trust him, but I didn't know. I looked blankly at Jason and just nodded, if only for him to let go of me and remove his arm.

Jason.

I felt how tense Xavier was and grabbed his hand and pulled him along: 'Come, I'm going to take care of you.' He nodded and I took him to the hospital wing, where there was also a shower. I had him take off his shirt and pants and applied cooling ointment to his burns and bandaged them. I disinfected the bird's cuts and scratches and put plasters on them. I did this job very carefully, but I saw that it hurt. I still had to say something to him. 'Xavier, don't get me wrong, but here we are now and I'm not going to drag you along to show everyone that you're not bad, you have to show that yourself, and whatever you've done say you're sorry, You are always welcome to talk to me about anything, but please also try to open up a little to others, otherwise that fear will not go away.'

Xavier.

I nodded. "I'll try." I should. I waited until Jason was done and put my clothes back on. "Thank you." I mumbled. And Jason seemed to appreciate it. I gave a forced smile. And made a joke about his clothes, even if it was just to release some of the tension. "You don't look good." I said with a laugh and leaned against the wall.

Jason.

I said with a 'disappointed' face: 'These are my best clothes.' and we burst out laughing. I still feel tension between us, something has broken and that is annoying, he won't tell me what happened. I think he fears my judgment even though he knows I will always be there for him. I go to Nomi and tell her that everything is okay, that he means no harm and that it is difficult for him to be here. I sit on her bed with my back against the wall and she lies with her head on my lap, I play with her hair and it's quiet, it feels good to sit here with her. Somehow I feel that she understands me and those thoughts give me a tingle in my stomach, just like with Xavier...

Xavier.

A boy about my age took me to one of the many dormitories. I could tell he was tense and trying to laugh. 'You don't have to be so tense. I won't burn you.' He looked at me and just nodded. I could just smell the tension. "I'm Xavier by the way." Then let's introduce myself. That always works. Yes Yes. I'm Noak.' He sounded irritated as if I had done something wrong. That bastard doesn't even know me. At least I think so. We walked around a corner, through one of the many corridors. Noak's blonde hair glistened in the beautiful sunlight shining through the windows. He wore simple clothes: jeans and a light T-shirt on top. "We're almost there." Noak said and I nodded and we walked another minute before I finally reached the dormitory. He led me to one of the many beds in a corner that was slightly pushed away from the rest, but I shook the thought away and sat down. I didn't say thank you and he didn't say goodbye as he walked away.

Jason.

Finally I went to my room. And Nomi brought me some food. "Are you okay?" she asked. I rubbed my head, 'Just had a long day and I'm tired. It's strange to see him again, he brings so much confusion and fear and I don't know why.' I sigh 'But he's not bad, he's done wrong things under pressure that aren't right, but he's Not bad, but he doesn't seem to believe it yet. It's really difficult to talk to him and persuade him to believe in himself.' Nomi looks at me thoughtfully. 'He was there when my father was murdered. He didn't do anything, not kill him, but he didn't help us either. And many of our people have had to suffer under his missions. We don't mean it in a bad way that we are afraid of him, but he brought it on himself.' I nodded that I agreed with her. I gave her a hug when the door was opened. I broke away and saw Xavier staring and he stammered: 'I...I...I'll leave you alone...' And he quickly walked away. "I need to talk to him, sorry, he needs my attention." I said to Nomi and I sprinted after Xavier, he was very fast, so I just walked and went to the dormitory where he slept. When I was there I saw one bed pushed into a corner and I immediately knew that it was Xavier's bed, not because Xavier was on it, but because he was far away from all the other beds. I walked over and he turned his back to me. I sat down next to him and ran my hand down his spine. "Xavier...What's wrong?" "Nobody likes me, you don't want me anymore and you're hanging out with that girl..." "What do you expect me to do? That I make all kinds of friends for you, that I hang out alone with you? That's not how the world works. I always make time for you when you need me, haven't you noticed? And I'm going to beat these people up and you can sleep with me for one night, but I can't do everything for you. You don't depend on me, only on yourself.' 'And still despite everything you know that I love you damn much, even if you don't love me, that will always be there.' He turned to me and looked at me. "Go to my room, I'll be right there." Xavier walked away and I turned to the large group that was looking at me curiously.

They hadn't heard anything, but they clearly saw that I was there and that Xavier was listening to me. Anger bubbled up inside me, but I controlled myself and said, 'Guys, look at that bed, standing alone from the rest, do you think he's going to be nice to you like that if you lock him out? I know him, have experienced his anger, but he is trying to start again. Is this really the way you're going to help him? That boy never knew what love is and you're taking that away from him? Do you want him to leave here because you don't welcome him? I can tell you that will only make him worse.' I turned around and walked out of the hall on the way to my room.

I take another break for some water. I see Julien is awake and smile at him. 'I am going to write some more, you can join me in my bed if you want.' I say. Julien nods and takes his blanket and pillows with him, he joins me and rests his head on my shoulder while I am getting ready to write  the second part of chapter 6.

Jeejjj! I am going crazy, love confessions! And new experiences!  What do you think about my story?

Love!