Julien and I booked one hotel room together, it was huge and amazing, I let Julien choose his bed and I took the other. 'Is it okay if I take a shower? Just so I know you don't need to go to the toilet.' Julien laughs and shakes his head. 'No, I don't need to go.'  I take a long shower and relax a bit, I put on new and clean clothes and I walk out of the bathroom relax until I see Julien sitting with a small pocket knife in his hand, he is staring at it in a sort of trance. I slowly walk towards Julien. 'Can you please give that to me?' I ask. Julien looks up at me slowly. He has tears in his eyes. I get closer and take the knife out his hand slowly. I grip his chin and make him look at me. 'Julien, do you see the worry in my eyes? Do you see the tears? Do you see the pain? Do you see the scars? I wouldn't want you to leave me like this. I see you Julien. I see you, and I see in your pain, in your tears, in what you have been through that you are a strong person. And it's okay to be sad, angry, to feel down, or scared, but you can talk to me about it. Do you hear me?' I say very clear. Julien nods slowly, but it isn't enough for me. 'I need you to say it, and look at me. Do you hear me?' Julien sighs deeply, looks at me and says with sad eyes: 'I hear you Paper.' I nod and let his chin go. 'Do you need something? Can I do something for you? You can always ask if you need something, I can't promise I can help you, but I'll do the very best I can.' I say. Julien smiles tired at me. 'Can I have a hug?' I smile at Julien's request. 'Of course.' Julien stands up and closes his arms around me. He rests his chin on the top of my head and I close my arms around him. I smell him, and he smells pretty nice. I close my eyes for a second before pulling back. 'There you go. Need anything else?' Julien smiles. 'I need so much I can't get, but right now I want to sleep. I would like to cuddle with you too, but only if you want to.' Julien says the last thing with a bit of hope in his eyes. 'Better not, but I can read you a bit of my story?' Julien nods, a bit disappointed, but still glad we're okay. I read him until there is nothing left to read, I have to write more, soon. Julien is half awake and half asleep and I put the blankets better around him and I stroke his hair out of his face. 'Sleep well.' I say softly. Julien opens his eyes a bit and hums in agreement. I chuckle a bit at that and I go to my own bed and lie down with a big sigh. I take some paper and pen and start to write again.

Chapter 5 (the book) Part 2.

Xavier.

I just nodded and wiped the tear away from my cheek. It was true, I simply wasn't worth it. I turned around and said over my shoulder. 'I am really sorry. But if you want me to go, I will go.' I opened the door and walked away without saying anything else. I couldn't force him to let me stay so I just accepted it. I walked down the stairs of the hotel and with every step I took I felt the hole in my heart getting bigger. I shook it off and walked outside. I took another look at our balcony, where he had surprised me so much this afternoon, and then walked out into the dark streets. I walked and walked. I wouldn't go back to Fyrver. I looked up and I saw a red flash. I blinked. Was I hallucinating? And again I saw something. I felt a gust of wind coming from behind, I turned around. Nothing. I walked into an alley so I could see who or what was following me. I leaned against the walls and waited.

Jason.

GODDAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could scream. What an asshole. I've spent all my goddamn money on him, my time, and worse, my friendship, and with a shock I realize, most importantly, my love. And now he was fucking gone, and I had no idea what to do. He had left all his stuff here and I was alone. I packed all my things and went on the road, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway and The Argument would keep wandering through my head. I walked to the nearest canal and threw all Xavier's stuff in and said, 'Water mail for Xavier, saying he's a fucking idiot, he knows whose.' and the water took his stuff with it.

Xavier.

I looked at the opening of the alley and saw a red bird appear and behind it... Was it a little girl? I blinked and the girl waved. "Hello sir!" She said happily and I took a step back, what a shitty thing this was. I looked at the bird that I recognized as a phoenix. I lifted my eyes to heaven and then looked back at the child and the bird. 'The gods must be joking with me.' I muttered, slightly irritated, and the phoenix flew around me and settled on my shoulder. The girl looked up and pouted. "You're not going to let me down, are you?" she asked, but I had already seen the grin that formed. "Oh, what a rotten child you are." The girl chuckled and skipped over to me. "I'm Desi!" She smiled and extended her hand to me. I put my hands in my pockets and took another step back, I looked at the bird on my shoulder and it nodded. Yes Yes. I'm Xavier. The girl grabbed my arm and was jumping up and down. 'Can we go to the water? Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeft.' I sighed as she started to pull me along with her and I walked along. After a few minutes we arrived and on the edge of the water were all my things, I sighed when I read the note that came with it "Of course." I mumbled and picked it up and fished a pen out of my pocket. "There is a strange child so if you would like to pick him up I would appreciate it." I quickly wrote on it and threw the note in the water.

Jason.

I had been walking for hours when an answer came. It said: There is a strange child, so would you like to come pick him up? I was furious and he sounded bored and mean, that poor child, I went to him, but not because he asked, and for that child and also to lecture him. I jumped into the water and let myself skim over the water at 200 kilometers per hour. And I was there within half an hour. I jumped out of the water and made an elegant landing. I saw a naughty girl with two pigtails looking at me admiringly. I walked up to her and introduced myself: 'Hello, my name is Jason, and what is your name?' 'Desi, sir.' 'Just call me Jason, otherwise I feel so old.' And I gave her a big hug. cool wink. And she laughed. I completely ignored Xavier and walked with the girl to the water's edge. "I have the power over water," I told Desi. "So I can do this." I snapped my fingers and a splash of water went over Xavier and he glared at me. I turned to Desi, 'Do you have a power too?' She nodded yes and snapped her fingers. A cloud came over Xavier's head and it started to rain and storm. It matched his face perfectly and me and Desi burst out laughing. But I saw Xavier's hands balled into fists, he got angry so now I had to intervene. 'Okay, enough. Can I give you the big task of protecting our things with your life so that I and The Evil One can take a walk?' Desi nodded vigorously and I walked to Xavier and said curtly: 'We're going for a walk.' When we got a little further into the forest were in, I turned to him and he to me. I punched him and he looked at me in amazement. 'It's that that girl is strong and doesn't know what you are like, but you can't do this! You act like an idiot and order others to do your dirty jobs! I won't accept this, if I were you I would be disgusted with myself!' He looked at me angrily, but I ignored it and looked back just as fiercely. I shook him 'Where is your awareness?!' He punched me and as a reflex I threw him to the ground and restrained him. He struggled, and tears fell from my cheeks. "When do you realize that you're not the only one in the world and that there are fucking people who care about you, people like me?" I let him go and sat against a tree.

Xavier.

I looked at him and the emotions left my eyes. 'You want me gone, so come on. Don't pretend you care about me.' I saw tears stinging his eyes but I don't care. And I didn't care about the bloody nose he gave me either. "You're just like him." I said, my voice cold and full of disgust. "If you care about me so much, you'll leave me alone and take care of that little shitty child." I pretended I didn't care about that girl, but I would kill him if anything happened to her. I turned and walked away. He had to leave me alone. I walked out of the woods and back into town, the bird flew after me and grabbed me by the collar and tried to pull me back but I kept walking and shook it away. The bird stopped and perched on a branch as it watched me walk away.

Jason.

I could kill him, but I had to try a different approach. I ran after him and called him. 'Sorry, Xavier, I'm sorry. I honestly don't know how to tell and explain everything to you anymore if you don't listen. It's like I know what you're feeling, only you put it away and it's only replaced by anger, and I know deep down that you're not like that.' I took his hand and guided it to his heart. "It's all here, not in your head, allow it." I let go of his hand and turned around.

Xavier.

'Jason come on now. First you tell me to leave and now you want me to stay?! What the fuck do you want?!' He turned around and looked at me in a daze. "But-" He started and I interrupted him. 'Don't just say what you want. Do you want me to stay or go? Because first I'm screaming that I have to leave. And now I suddenly have to stay?' My voice was cold. But this time there was no horror. "Say what you want, and I will listen." I looked directly at him and he looked at me too.

Jason.

'This is all a misunderstanding, I have wanted you to stay all along, only you said that you were unsure whether to stay or go, and from that I concluded that you wanted to leave and I thought/think that was very bad, because I want I don't want to lose you.' I laugh and say carefully: 'We are also a very smart duo, goddammit, of course I want you to stay.' I look at him carefully, curious about his reaction.

Xavier.

I sighed and rubbed my head with my fingers. "You're an idiot too." And it's not that I want to leave. It's that I don't know yet. That I'm not ready to make that decision yet.' The phoenix that was sitting on the branch came to sit with us and I looked at the animal. "You have to understand that it is a difficult decision for me too." I said honestly. 'Either I leave my whole life behind or you. And I just don't know yet.'

Jason.

"I'm going to be really stupid now, but can I talk to you?" He sighs and rolls his eyes. "You're doing it anyway." I laugh and say: "You know me too well." Xavier grins at me. 'Xavier you say either one or the other. And sometimes not everything has to have only 2 choices, you can also stay with me and build a new life, because going back to your old life is no longer possible now that you are "dead". You can build a new life with me and still learn about your powers and about the world. I also have a master and we can always look for a good master together. You can also take things from your old life with you into your new life, you don't have to forget that.' I look at him and hope it works. "And from now on you also love children." I give him a hug and take his hand to go to Desi.

Xavier.

I froze as I received the hug. He tried to pull me but I stayed standing. "Can I just be alone for a moment?" I pulled him back to me so I could look him straight in the eyes. "I guess I need time." I sighed and looked down for a second before looking back at him. 'I can't choose yet Jason. I'm really sorry, and you're a good friend, but I need time.' I saw his heart breaking before my eyes and I looked away so I didn't have to see it.

Jason.

I felt hurt, but I couldn't do anything anymore, I couldn't force him. I squeezed his hand and let go. He flinched and that hurt me even more. I walked back to Desi and looked at her. She sees that something is wrong and she shuts up. I feel dark inside and I'm going to read a book. When I notice that Xavier is there, I ignore him and continue reading. After a few hours of wonderfully disappearing into my book, I grab something to eat and also give something to Desi, who had followed my example of reading a book. I took it all in and said when we finished eating: 'Time for you to go to bed.' I gave her a kiss goodnight and tucked her in. It already felt so familiar. I walked to the water's edge and let all the water swirl around me, I felt impossible.

Xavier.

I walked away from the water as far as I could. I let the fire blow around me, scorching everything in my path, except that annoying bird, which stayed on my shoulder and was nuzzling its head against mine. After a while I sat against the tree and let the fire run wild, destroying everything in my path. The fire was beautiful but it was full of anger. I was thinking. About what to do, HOW to do it. I gently petted the bird's head and it lay down in my lap and went to sleep while I continued to pet it. I couldn't help but show my smile. The phoenix was so cute and truly a friend for life. He was probably still young because he was quite small. I looked at the gray sky and closed my eyes as I quietly dozed off and extinguished the fire.

I take a short break to get some water and I see that Julien is still fast asleep, Chapter 5 is done now, so I can start with Chapter 6, I of course already know what happened, so I am super excited to write it down. I lie down on my bed and start to write again.

Soooo! Cliffhanger! I am so amazed I am managing to write, because I have a sort block on this book in my mind even if I love it with all my heart. I just think it's amazing and I am so excited to share the next Chapter!!!!! It's going to be so fun and there is going to happen a lot, repeat a lot.

Bye! I hope you like the story! Please tell me if I made an mistake in my grammar, because it helps my story get better and it's cool of those who dare to just say it in a nice way, so I dare you! And if you want it would mean very much if you vote or follow me, I'll follow you right back!