I ran my fingers down his slender chin and held his gaze with my own. "I won't hurt you." I cooed. Chris stood beside me as I leaned in closer and looked into his eyes.  "You won't die by me." I pulled back and stood. I leaned into Chris. "He won't even open his eyes." I sighed and pressed my forehead into Chris's chest. He held me tightly. 

"I need to go to the children." He whispered. I looked up into his eyes. They were crystal pools that ate away at my soul. I nodded. 

"Ok. Tell them I will be up soon." 

"I will, I love you." I held my mouth up for a kiss from him. He smiled and leaned in. He pressed a kiss to my mouth and then walked out of the room. 

I watched him walk away, and then  turned back to Jonah and tilted his head, to force him to look at me. "You do realize I saved you." 

"I know." He grit out. "I-I-" He took in a deep breath, " I can't believe you're alive." He sighed. 

"What?" I furrowed my brows. 

"I thought you were dead, we all did." His eyes met mine. "When he took you, no one knew where you were, the police claimed you had died and that Chris was at fault." 

"What?" I repeated myself. 

"Yeah." He sighed. "I thought you were gone." His eyes dropped and I stilled. My eyes wandered to his and I grasped his chin again. 

"Why were you mourning me?" I asked. 

"Because, i loved you." He shouted at me. His eyes clouded with realization at what he just said. 

I took a step back and looked at the door. I nodded at the guards and they shut the door. "What do you mean?" I circled him. 

"I loved you." He whispered. His head sank. "I know it was foolish, but I did." 

I looked at the broken man in front of me. "You loved me? Even though I killed people?" 

He watched me look around and then crouch at his level. His saddened eyes gazed into mine. "It was you wasn't it?" He whispered. 

I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean?" 

"That night. That fight. The one in New Zealand." 

My brain worked with this knowledge. I thought hard, until it dawned on me. New Zealand, an uprising, a silencing mission. My eyes widened. 

"You saw that?" 

"I was there." He sighed. "I watched you kill seven people. Their blood was on my clothes. Your presence seared into my brain. I couldn't sleep for months. The horror, the women, the men." He shuddered. I nodded and watched him. "You were so assured. You knew what you were doing. You knew how to kill with out even putting forth an effort. I think that is what scared me the most." 

"I am sorry." I whispered. I sat in front of him. "You do understand why I am doing what I am doing right?" 

"I do." He nodded. He looked at me. "He did this to you didn't he." His saddened eyes looked at me. 

"Yes. No." I looked over at him. "I do this because I want it." 

"You want blood on your hands?" He sucked in a breath. "You want innocent people to die. You want people to fear you?" 

"Yes." I stared him dead in the eye. "Do you fear me? Do you believe I am a monster?" I snarled and could feel my temper rising. I tried to push it down. 

He watched my neck. My veins were bulging and the natural flush I had was beginning to rise. His gentle fingers touched my hand. I looked down and then stood. "No." He sighed. "I do not." His eyes began to well. "You will always be the girl I loved. You will never be a monster to me. You never could be." His voice cracked. "You are still that girl. She is there. And I am not afraid of her." 

I stood quickly and the chair I had sat on went flying and crashed into a heap. I huffed and looked down at him. I walked towards the door. He watched as it swung open for me. I turned back and pinned him with a glare. "It would serve you to fear me." I let my eyes take on their cold gleam. "I have become this monster. I will never go back. That little girl," I snorted out a laugh, "she is no one. She will never become anyone. She was useless. She is useless. And she is dead." I watched him take in the news. I threw my hood down and my blonde hair tumbled down.  His eyes grew wide as the lights glinted off of the cold diamond crown on my head. He watched in horror and I drew a knife and threw it into the wall behind him. "You should fear me. Because the little girl you knew, she could not have done this. She could never have killed the men I've killed. Or done the things I've done." I turned my head. "You should fear me as they do, because everything they say about me," my tone cooled, "is true." 

I walked out of the door with my train trailing behind me. The raven colored gown was soft and smooth, the silky blades that were biting into my thighs were a reminder of what I truly was. I could hide under a tiara, I could hide under my title, I could dress as regally as an Empress should, or as thorny as a queen, but I would forever be a broken girl. 

I turned into a room, set apart from the main hall. I shut the door and locked it. I stepped up on the dais and looked into the mirrors. My dress slipped from my shoulders and I looked at my bruised body. 

My eyes caught the first red mark. A giant scar that ran from under my rib cage down to my hip bone. The memory flew to my brain as my fingers gently ran along the puckered skin. Devan had been mad. He had been unhappy with me and therefore I deserved a punishment. My fingers wandered to my chest. A scar ran down in between my collarbone. A knife gash from my days as an assassin. A failed attempt on my life. My arms, covered in small cuts. They were tiny and almost gone. A gash was wrapped on my leg and another ran down the inside of my thigh. I looked at my back. Three faded marks were in strips down my back muscles and they wandered down my hips. Stretch marks faded into eachother around my hips and I held my head high. 

"I am a monster." I looked at my reflection. 

You are.

A voice that had been with me in my years under mind control. 

You will always be a monster Devine. You are the rightful queen. You are the only queen. You deserve it. 

I shook the thoughts from me. "I have become something hideous." I held my head even higher. "But the nations will bow down before me." 

"My queen?" A head was seen in the door. I quickly pulled my gown on again and looked motioned for the intruder to enter. "Devine?"

"Tiff?" I asked. 

"Yeah." She smiled timidly. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes." I smiled. My evil gleam was back and my body was firing with anticipation. "I was just remembering." 

"Oh, okay." She looked at me with careful eyes. "Chris is looking for you." 

"Okay." I began to walk out. I turned and looked at her. "Tiff do you think I am a monster?" 

"Well," she paused. "No." She shook her head. 

"Maybe you should." I sighed and strode out. "Maybe its time I accept that. Accept who I am. A monster. A queen. An Empire."