Sanskaar walked into the desolate building. He hadn't been here in fifteen years. No one had. Except for an security guard that still kept vigil on the property.

The place was still dark as it was that day. Darker even. Only a scant light from the headlights outside crept in illuminating small sections of what would have otherwise been a black hole.

Sanskaar looked around. His eyes adjusting slowing to the darkness, much like they had years before. Silence permeated through the space, owing it as it had for years. The walls were no longer grey cement. Moss and grime covered it. Sanskaar could see that even if the dim yellow light filtering in.

Despite the stake musty air in the place, Sanskaar felt a shiver pass through him. He rubbed his palms across his arms.

Shouldn't have come here!

Has it gone away after staying far all these years?

Sanskaar shook his head, his eyes focused on an empty space some distance away. There was nothing there now. No body. No white cloth.

And yet, his heart was speeding ahead. The visual of what had been there imprinted on his mind for good. Waiting for him to just close his eyes for it to come alive.

Sanskaar looked away. Why did I really come here? still running strong on his mind with no answers.

His feet moved on its own towards a dark corner. The air grew even more musty making it a little more difficult for him to breath with each step.

He standing in front of a small metal cupboard. It barely reached above his hip now, but at one time, an eight–nearly nine–year old could stand inside comfortably. His fingers traced the rusty metal which was falling apart, much like the building. He pulled at the door. The rickety door opened after a hard tug, creaking along its hinges.

He kneeled down slowly looking at the dark space in front of him. His fingers stretched to touch inside the small space. It was empty. Just as it was that day. He closed his eyes.

The air turned damp. Noise buzzed into his ears. Noise that turned into voices. Young voices. Voices that he recognised too well.

His young eyes peeped through the gap, annoyance flitting through him even as the older Sanskaar tried to resist it, trapped inside the younger mind.

Then the voices grew stronger. Louder. A small hand picked up something. What? It wasn't a rope. Before his younger self could comprehend, the thing had been thrown away in anger.

And then ...everything changed

Voices silenced into the shaking of the body on the floor. His young ears picked up running footsteps that grew louder until they ended with a panicked call.

Then everything stilled for a second. Just a second. The shaking of that body on the floor stopped.

His younger self stared wide-eyed as another collapsed next to the first, grasping on to the rope. No. Not rope. Wire.

His young voice stuck in his throat as pungent smell of burnt flesh waffled through. Suffocating his young lungs with a smell that would burn itself into the memory for eternity.

Then hell broke lose.

Sanskaar's eyes snapped open. Sweat tricked down his forehead. He gulped a big breath only to inhale stale air and break into coughs. His chest felt heavy.

If only he had behaved differently, maybe ...just maybe Hari Kaka wouldn't have died. Raghav wouldn't have lost use of one of his legs.

***

"Good you are already awake," Lakshya said as he walked into Sanskaar room.

Sanskaar looked at his brother blankly. He didnt feel the need to correct Lakshya on let him know that he had never slept a wink. That every time he closed his eyes, he saw Hari Kaka, Raghav, Ragini and the every single second of the tragedy played over in loop.

"What do you think will happen today? Any bets you want to place?" Lakshya asked crossing his arms.

Sanskaar closed his eyes for a second before getting out of his chair, "What is it that you want?"

"You know what I want," Lakshya tilted his head to the side.

Sanskaar watched him indifferently.

"I thought I would let you know," Lakshya walked towards Sanskaar and standing a couple of inches away from him, "I will reveal the secret before the first phera."

Sanskaar met his eyes, but stayed silent.

"Stop me if you can."

***

Loud upbeat music rang all the way as the wedding procession/Baraat reached Gadodia house. Sanskaar saw his family laugh, dance, hoot. His siblings and family tried to pull him into the dance. He pulled away.

He was risking everything. His heart was getting trampled and he was watching it being stepped on with each of the beats of the drums. Watching it silently with a stoic face peppered intermittently with fake smile as his family looked at him.

But he couldnt bring it upon himself to join in and trample it along with others. Not even when he had kept it there to be trampled. Better his heart than hers.

But it wasn't just his heart. There were others there. Even her. How could it not? She was marrying someone who would never love her. Never love her like he would.

She would never know it though.

He was there in the procession and yet he wasn't. Could you really be there for your own death procession?

***

Sanskaar stood away from everyone in the wedding tent in Gadodia lawn. He felt a forceful jerk as someone brushed past him. He looked up mechanically.

Lakshya was looking at him with a gleam in his eyes. He had the determined look back in his eyes, along with a crazy glint.

"First phera," Lakshya said quietly before walking away, "I told you I wont fall down alone."

***

"Lakshya," a voice said firmly as the pandit called the groom to the wedding mandap.

Lakshya looked up to see his father calling him.

"There is something I wanted to say before you walk into the mandap and take the next step in your life," Durgaprasad said.

Lakshya watched him quietly. Next step. The last one. And then ...everything would be gone. Dreams. Freedom. Yearnings.

"I have seen a different Lakshya the past few days," Durgaprasad told his son, "I always saw you as frivolous, childish. Never thought you would do any good ..."

And you treated all my hopes and dreams the same way.

"But these last few days ..." Durgaprasad touched Lakshya's shoulder, "I have seen you more responsible than ever. May be your mother way right. The decision to get you married was right. I was worried. But she pushed on ..."

Signing my death warrant. Her own son's. The one she claims to love the most ...

"The past few days, you focused on work like I have never seen you do before. You didnt let the wedding distract you from working on new projects and staying in office late," Durgaprasad said.

And yet, nothing came of it. Sanskaar did not stop the doom ...

"I wanted to tell you that I am proud of you," Durgaprasad said firmly.

Lakshya's eyes snapped up to look at his father.

"I am going to make you in charge of the new project in Delhi. You can run it on your own independently," Durgaprasad said.

Lakshya stared on wide-eyed.

"I know you will manage it well," Durgaprasad said patting his shoulder.

Lakshya watched his quietly. A lump forming in his throat. His lips opened to speak.

"What are you father-son duo doing here?" Annapurna called out before Lakshya could speak, "Panditji is calling Lakshya."

"Go," Durgaprasad told his son with a smile.

"Papa," Lakshya croaked

"We will talk later," Durgaprasad said firmly.

***

Sanskaar watched as Ragini was brought into the mandap. Beautiful. Innocent. Ethereal. Lonely.

He grasped the metal tent pole next to him as he saw her put the garland around Lakhsya's neck. He turned away. He couldn't see more. He couldn't.

A voice deep inside him struggled to yell out.

How can I let her go? Don't I love her? Don't I care about her happiness? Will he ever keep her happy?

Another one tried to fight back. Will she ever forgive you if you stop her mother's last wish from coming true?

What is more important? Her forgiveness or her happiness?

Will she be happy if you break the wedding?

Isn't short unhappiness better than a life time of it?

Will she be able to live through that short unhappiness? If you love her, cannot you protect her long term happiness? Cannot you force Lakshya to keep her happy?

He can never love her like I can.

But only he can fulfil her mother's promise. You cannot. You weren't her choice.

Only because she never met me. If we had met, maybe I could have been her choice.

But you aren't.

And what about Lakshya? What will happen when he tells everyone the truth? The secret?

The voice fighting back went silent.

He will destroy so many ...

He might not speak. He might not say anything. You know him.

But he could. And then what?

Someone will need to be sacrificed. Who are you willing to sacrifice? Ragini or ...

***

"Bride and Groom, please stand up for the phera," Pandit said.

Sanskaar stood still, eyes closed. His nails dug into his palm. It stung as he was sure he drew blood.

Lakshya got up quietly. He stood still for a second before clearly his throat.

Sanskaar's breath caught in his throat.

Who are you willing to sacrifice? Ragini or ... echoed in his mind

"Do you need water?" Annapurna asked Lakshya.

Sanskaar felt his pulse rise. Ragini or ...

"No," Lakshya said, "I ..."

Sanskaar took a shaky breath and pulled away his padgi from his hair.

"Pa–"

"Bade Papa!" Sanskaar called out before Lakshya could say any more.

Durgaprasad looked at Sanskaar.

Sanskaar walked over to Durgaprasad. His fingers clenched into a fist to give him strength to do what he needed to.

"I need to talk to you."

Firstly, sorry for being away long without any update into you. I have pulled a shoulder muscle so have been forced to update slower than I had planned. But thanks so much for staying with this story. For reading it. And for your wonderful comments.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. I would love to know what you think of his building visit? And what should he really do?