Note from the author: When reading I have provided a soundtrack to play when instructed so you can follow along and be in the story like the characters!!

My whole life I've been told I'm dangerous. Explosive if you will. So that's why I started on the meds. Prozac, Celexa, and Zolof mostly, sometimes my mom throws in some vitamin D(to help with my skin, she says). Celexa is the worst. Tastes like mayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise.

Without the meds, I would normally be fine. Until something triggers me. That's when the anger takes control of my body. Like a parasite. Eating me alive and doing whatever it wants. With the meds, it won't happen. The pills drain my body so when I get mad, I don't even care or have enough energy to do anything. The parasite is dead with the meds. As it should be.

My life has always been this way. I started on Prozac when I was five, because my parents couldn't handle sober me. But Prozac wasn't enough. By 9, the doctors added Celexa. After I finished puberty, around 14, the doctors started me on Zolof. I'm a pretty normal teenage girl, other than the meds. Even though the doctors signed and made a disability card. I still attend a 'normal' high school. Even though special treatment is required with my card. Pretty cool right. No. I'm not stupid. I don't need the card with my meds. Whatever, the doctors can't un-sign it anyways.

Today is October 12th, 10:49 AM, to be exact. I may have lied. My school is a private school. Which means every student is treated special anyway. So some students here have ADHD, Anxiety, Bipolar, even one girl in a special class with Dyslexia. But they are all also on meds too, so there won't be any unexpected outbursts. But most students here are fine. Untouched by mental disabilities, at least that I know of.

*press video link and start listening!*

https://youtu.be/aR0PRn3Pqd8

"Psst," A light voice startles me from my deep thoughts. Snapping back to reality, I turn in my cyan blue plastic desk chair to see where this voice came from. Jess with her bright green large eyes is beaming back at me. Her silky dark hair flows over her shoulders as she leans over her desk to mine, then reaches out her tan long hand. In the middle of her palm is a small white sheet, folded a couple of times. Hesitantly making sure no one is watching, I reach back grabbing ahold of Jess's sheet. Jessica then raises her finger to her lips as she symbolizes being quiet about it. Jessica then slowly backs up from leaning across her beige wooden desk and adjusts her body in the plastic chair like mine. Turning away from her I do the same adjusting my own body in the chair as I hide the note under the desk. 

Making sure no one saw our exchange I look around the room. Most of my classmates are typing on their computers or reading silently. All except one. Arlo can never focus in class. He's always talking to someone or sneaking texts in class, which explains his ADHD. Arlo this time however is watching me look at him. Arlo doesn't really take any classes seriously. Especially English, which is the class we're supposed to be present in now. Arlo is an interesting guy. He's generally popular, in that group of boys I would say. He doesn't play any sports at school, but he's apparently a god at hockey. I would have to see it myself to believe it.

Raising my eyebrows at Arlo to signal him to stop staring. He's sitting under the window, his dirty blonde hair looking golden in the early morning light. The eyes he's been watching me with, I can never tell what color they are. Sometimes green, sometimes they look hazel. But then again I never really look him in the eye. Boys make me nervous. Almost immediately Arlo shrugs his average-sized body and his eyes dart to the desk in front of him.

"Weirdo," I mutter under my breath, as I reach for the note I stuck under my desk with some old gum sitting under there. Peeling the note off the sticky substance carefully making sure I don't make any large movements or that the note rips. Once it's off I tilt my head downwards and pull the note onto my lap. Carefully unfolding the mystery note making sure the paper doesn't make any noise.

Once open the tiny perfect print of Jess's writing reads: Party at mine tonight. Parents aren't home. Sneakout? Sighing, I know that Jessica's party is gonna be the shit. They always are. So many people show up, usually the best night of the month. The girl does have a lot of parties. Every other month. But sneaking out is risky. It's not like I haven't done it before. I mean I have plenty of time. Just there's a 50% chance of getting caught. Which isn't worth it. Depends on who's on the guestlist for tonight. If Sinclair however is on this list, might not be so risky after all. I'll discuss this after class with Jessica.

*stop song here*

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"Pleaseeee, you gotta come!!" Jess practically begs as we turn the narrow hallway. The school has a dim dark vibe. In the hallways, it's lit by candles that have a spot on the oak wood walls. Reminds me of Hogwarts.

"Sav, It's not like I don't want to. Just risky you know!" I tell her as a student I don't recognize brushes beside me. Hurting to his next class. Between classes, the hallways are always busy with different grades. As the whole school class times end and start at the same time. Even the youngest grades, seven and eight, end at eleven AM.

"What if you sleep over?" Jessica points out changing octaves. Her eyes are fixed on me hoping I respond with a yes. Playing this plan out in my head to see if it'll work or not. Today is Friday, which means no school the day after. My parents aren't close to Savana's parents so they may not ask to speak to them. We just gotta pretend they're there the entire night. Before I can respond with my answer, Jess opens her mouth again.

"Sinclair will be there, and it's a costume party!!!!" Jessica wrinkles her nose as she says Sinclair. They don't really get along. She just thinks he's overhyped and strange. Sinclair isn't a part of a popular boy group like Arlo. But everyone knows who he is. School's star athlete basketball, hockey, track, golf, you name it he plays it. Mentioning he's also a ladies' man. He kisses and tells that's for sure. Most of Arlo's friends don't like Sinclair, probably for this reason. So, Sinclair has his own friend group that he leads. Alpha of his own group. But not the Alpha of the popular's.  

"Okay fine, I'll convince my parents. But you gotta find us a costume!" Stating as I nudge her. We round another corner and we're at our lockers. The colors of the lockers change from silver and blue(our school colors). Mine is blue. Royal blue to be exact. There are no chips or stains on the locker as the school redo's the paint job yearly. Jess is still beside me as I grab ahold of the lock, spinning it counterclockwise to open my locker.

"I was thinking army girls, sexy of course," Jess expresses as she leans on the locker beside me. We have gym next, one of the two classes we have with each other. Nodding in agreement to her idea as I continue to focus on cracking open this goddamn locker. It's frustrating because I have only a few more minutes to get changed(my gym clothes are in my locker) and head to the gym.

"Are you even listening to me? We have to go to the Halloween store after school!" Jessica merely yells this. Probably to get me to focus mainly on her. As I look up to see what she wants. I get distracted by the movement behind her. Sinclair. Walking. Behind Jess.

Sinclair is hypnotizing. Whenever I see him it's like he wants my attention to always be on him. As he struts by casually talking to a few of his friends, Sinclair of course in the front leading them like always. His golden hair is perfect as ever. Almost reminds me of a golden retriever, but a dark gold color. Like gold that has been sitting out for a long time. His icy eyes fixed ahead of him. His posture is straight and confident. His large body heads past us. As he passes through something he notices me. His cool eyes are now fixed on me. Like Arlo before, but something in his eyes is different. A different expression. 

"Sup Baker," Sinclair announces, referring to my last name, nodding at me, while he stops in his tracks. He's wearing a casual uniform. As it's a casual day. This means you can wear the polo and khakis option rather than the blazer, blouse, and dress pants option(or skirt).

"Baldwin, where you headed?" I respond back, calling him by his last name. Then I turn around to lean on my locker.

"Gameday baby, wish me luck," Sinclair answers winking as he starts walking again. His minions follow him.

"Oh, get a room already!" One of Sinclair's friends, Daniel, shouts so the whole hallway can hear.

"Not letting that one happen! Sorry boys!" Jess yelps back at them. Jessica and I immediately break out into laughter. Gotta love her. Give zero fucks 24/7.

"On the bright side of you flirting with Mr. Sinclair Baldwin I cracked open your locker," She taunts as I spin around to quickly grab my gym uniform.

"Shut up. Me and him never happening!" Blushing as I say this while slamming my locker door shut, and speeding away from the scene of the crime. Crime refers to the interaction of Sinclair and I.

"Common, don't hide it from me. I don't particularly like him," Jessica sounded a bit pissed off.

"I'm not the type of person to date. You know this! I also have too much on my plate. I have like three tests coming up. And we have the trip," I pronounce her staring at the ground. We round another corner and were in front of the change rooms. The oak wood door is engraved with fancy symbols. I reach to open it, however, it swings open as a slim figure reaches for my extended arm and pulls me in.

"My girls!!!! Class starts in five get ur butts changed," Kayla, my other close friend says releasing me once in the changeroom.

Kayla is shorter than I am. Just by an inch or two. Not as short as Jessica however. Kayla has chestnut-brown shiny hair and bangs that swoop by her ears. I'm not tall, but I'm not short. 5'7 to be exact. 

"What I miss?" Kayla wonders out loud as she sits us both down on the oak bench in the middle of the room. The changerooms at our school are fancy as fuck. It reeks of Chanel number five but in a good way. The center of the room has cubbies to place your clothing, and a large glass chandelier lights the whole place up. To the left, there are the showers(which I don't think anyone ever has used) and behind that is a vanity with three mirrors, brightly lit by light bulbs around the mirror. Like a celebrity would have. There are three furry white stools to go with each mirror. Girls fight for those things after the gym to fix their makeup. Most of the time my trio in the gym (Jessica, Kayla, and I) get them. But that's only because most girls are scared of us. Probably from past rumors they have heard. Or don't wanna get on our bad side. Once Kayla told us that she overheard a girl calling us the plastics. I decided to take it as a compliment. Even though I secretly hope that girl didn't think we're mean.

"Oh, just good old Valerie drooling over Sinclair Baldwin," Jessica informs Kayla as she scrunches her face, making a face of disgust. I shoot her a face of shock that she would say that out loud in a public space.

"Relax there's no one here, look around!" Jess remarks as she looks around the space herself to see if she was correct. And in fact, I can't see anyone else here changing with us. Probably because we are late for class. Speaking of which, I pull off my shirt to reveal my black lace bra from Victoria's Secret.

"It's not like he's ugly, which shouldn't matter if you like him. It's just that he's weird," Kayla reveals watching us change as she's already in the gym uniform. Which contains a royal blue v neck tee. Which my friends buy is smaller, so it's a nice tight fit. And for bottoms, we have gray shorts. But Jessica and I always raise higher, showing more legs. Kayla doesn't really care about her body. Not that she has a bad one, she's very skinny. But she doesn't "need" to impress anyone, as she says.

"Guys don't be mean, he's nice," I announce, trying to convince myself of that.

"Maybe nice to you..." Jess cautions as she puts her hair in a high ponytail, she's already changed.

"He does have good hair, a good face, and is tall!" Kayla contributes now switching to my side.

"Well, you don't even like Sinclair so it shouldn't matter," Jess jokes, folding her arms as she's perfected her long dark hair ponytail. I prefer to leave my hair down for gym unless we're doing cardio. As I roll up my tiny shorts footsteps echo behind us. The three of us look up to see a tall pretty girl. She has darker skin and freckles scattered across her face. She has almost yellow eyes and curly hair in braids. In braids, her hair is around shoulder length. She hunches over as she scurries across the room towards the door, clearly trying to leave. She must have been changing in the bathroom as she holds her clothing in her arms. It takes me a few moments to recognize her. How could I forget? That's Fay. Fay Baldwin.

As she leaves my stomach twists into knots. I feel my breakfast coming up. Clenching my stomach, I kneel down holding the brown bench for support.

"No fucking way," Jess howls laughing at that encounter.

"What, who is she?" Kayla implies with confusion. She peers down at me to give her an answer. But I feel as if I will throw up if I open my mouth.

"That's Fay Balwin," Jessica answers cooly for me. She stops laughing and realizes the feeling I have now.

"Okay? So?" Kayla asks back clueless as to what the big deal is.

"Sinclair's stepsister dumbass!".