Why is it I see scars that aren't even there yet isn't that a bad thing looking down at my skin and seeing things that are not even there,
Why is it I still look down upon even the faded scars,
And remember the high I can't ever let down,
And I signed so many words in this skin,
And not one of them had faded out of my memory,
Can't ever seem to stomp them out,
Can't you see I hate the feeling of being high,
And yet over and over again I realize I'm addicted,
To every drug, I've ever known,
Every person on my mind,
How I waste my time,
And write with a pen.
And not a single thing of it do I want to quit,
Tell me please,
What does that mean if nearly every thing I do gets addicting,
I hate that I always feel like I'm not enough,
A recovering addict,
And all I wanna do is relapse again,
Calling out for help,
I don't even know if my silent cries are heard,
Feel like my soul,
Has gone quite bitter in the cold,
I can hear it growl,
Creep up my throat,
And out my mouth,
A bitter sweet poison,
I don't even know why I feel this angry all the time,
Like I don't wanna go through this again,
My heart won't do this again,
Can it really be that hard,
To open my mouth and say what's wrong,
Because you know the very thing in the relationship is you keep feeling like your mouth has to stay shut,
Does it matter you do not know what to say,
We both know you have a poetic soul,
And anything you say would come out with such timid beauty,
And that ought to be enough for you,
Humble back down darling,
And know that I have honestly hope that I have changed enough for you to trust in me,
Like you once did even though I did you wrong,
I just wanna make sure that you are safe,
You don't need any other than the owner of our heart,
And it's that idea that mends the heart.

Why does my heart beat calm,
A deep breath of the new morning,
And the cool evenings,
Calm down and settle for all the times I've never been good,
Take care and recognize the beauty, that lays in front of me,
And care for it right,
Because I'm always on edge,
Thinking I somehow must have let you down,
And I can never be enough,
But all I try to do is smile for you,
And the knife in my hands came from my own discoveries,
Don't you understand I was the one that broke my heart so many times,
Before they could get to it,
I don't wanna do that now,
But my heart longs to be shrunk to fit inside of its cage,
I wish I could just break the cage without killing what's left of my heart.

Why don't I understand the ribs of this cage are already breaking on the inside,
Every last one of my bones.
And I can not ever let the pain go,
Let it fly around inside of my soul,
Bouncing off the walls,
And not once has it stopped.