Chapter Thirty-One

Three days went by since Polly's passing.

It didn't feel real. It felt like I was caught in a dream, a ghost wandering around in a world that seemed to just keep flowing forward.

Wren was probably the only reason I got up in the morning. The only reason I showered, brushed my teeth, shaved my face, took my medication.

I stared down at a little red prescription bottle with my name on it, unable to read the ridiculous medication name without sounding like an idiot.

All I knew was that it helped. Somehow. I still felt like death, still ached inside and still woke up crying, still grieved... but it felt muted.

And if that got me through this, then I would take it.

Daily.

Or twice daily, as needed for anxiety and panic attacks.

I couldn't stop a bitterly amused smirk from tugging at my lips.

I escaped a lifetime of oppression, of manipulation, and the only thing I walked away with was a little bit of trauma.

At least I'm alive.

Yeah, too bad it didn't feel that great at the moment. I sighed, popping a pill and tucking it away at the same time I heard the bedroom door open.

I looked up to see Wren walking in with a couple mugs of coffee, an iced pastry sticking out of his mouth.

I smiled and walked over to him, slipping my arm around his waist to pull him close, his head turning so he could greet me. I took a bite out of the pastry in his mouth and he blushed a ripe pretty pink from his neck to his ears.

"Mm, raspberry and cream cheese," I commented, taking it out of his mouth so I could have another bite. Wren rolled his eyes, licking the leftover icing off his lips as he took a spot on the loveseat. I plopped next to him, making him juggle the coffee so it didn't spill.

"I'm surprised you're out of bed," Wren commented, handing me a cup and I nodded my thanks, leaning in to take a deep inhale of that delicious roasted bean water, "You were dead to the world when I got up to answer a call."

I didn't even remember hearing a phone go off.

Of course, I wasn't gonna tell Wren I'd woken up sobbing again. I was so relieved he wasn't there to witness another breakdown.

Gods, that pissed me off. It was like my body didn't care about the danger at hand, didn't care that the world was probably about to enter another Great War.

Nope.

It looked like years of bottling all that shit up had finally broken me.

And it wasn't always just at night either.

I'd accidentally had a fucking sob fest over a brownie Niko had asked me to try. He'd panicked, which was a little funny, because Niko didn't seem like the panicking type. He just felt bad, like he'd triggered something, which he hadn't. I'd just randomly remembered the first time I tried a cosmic brownie, which reminded me of the first time I brought one back for Polly, which resulted in the explosive tears. Niko had just ran to get Ryk and came back, gesturing and fumbling for words.

"I woke up to you being gone," I answered Wren at last, making him smile faintly, like he thought that shit was cute. I averted my eyes as he sat back and settled down beside me, tucking his legs underneath himself.

"Are you cold?" I asked him when he pressed his warm lips to my shoulder. He smiled at that.

"Sorta, but I just. Like sitting next to you like this," he admitted, then cleared his throat and shifted away now, "Unless that's weird—"

"No," I said immediately, turning toward him so I could tug him into my lap and he laughed as we struggled to maneuver without spilling the hot coffee on ourselves.

"Sorry," I sighed as we settled down and Wren tilted his head back to look up at me, "I'm still feeling..." Broken?

Wren reached up to stroke my cheek and I rested my face against his tender touch.

"It's okay to grieve, Jasper."

"It hurts."

"I know."

"It was already hard losing you once," I whispered, making him stare up at me sadly, "No, more than once... I don't know how either of our souls made it this far without totally splintering." Wren looked away. I frowned as his brows knitted together.

"Or... or is that what happened to you over time? You and Milo?" I asked softly. Wren blinked a couple times, clearing the tears from his eyes.

"Yeah. But I think it happened worse for you," he murmured and I frowned, "Jasper, I remember bits and pieces of my past lives. As Milo. As others. Each past life, I manage to retain some of... me. But you don't even remember pieces of your time with Milo just years ago." I hesitated. I hadn't mentioned it before, because it didn't seem important.

"Is that why I can't remember losing you so much?" I murmured, setting aside my coffee now. I needed to have my arms around him at that moment. This talk was scary, but I wanted to know.

I wanted to know why my memories had ways felt broken or missing.

Wren closed his eyes for a moment, then let himself sink back against me, his eyes opening again to stare up at the ceiling. He was remembering things from our past lives together.

"You started forgetting us," Wren murmured, and my eyes welled up because how could I possibly just forget him, "Every time we came back, it got harder and harder to find you, to show you, to explain everything. And we didn't always survive long enough to find each other. I've lived at least two lives where... where I felt you, Jasper. I felt you leave this world before I even made it to you." He abruptly made a pained sound, and I reached up to take the coffee from his hands and set it aside so it didn't spill as tears ran down Wren's face. I put my arms around him tightly and pressed my cheek against his as he sniffled for a moment.

"At that point, what was the point of living that life if you were no longer there? It got so hard to hang onto my sanity," he managed, and I took his hands in mine, cradling him against me as he sucked in a shuddering breath, "By the time Milo got to you through Hera... I was so fragmented, and this last time was so close, so close to us surviving— and that fucking—" For a moment, Wren's dark eyes flashed with gold before returning to brown, and I knew Milo was probably getting worked up just thinking about it.

I kissed Wren tenderly on the cheek and that seemed to give him something to hang onto, to stay present. He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath again before he peeked at me, his eyes shimmery.

"Grief is so powerful," Wren whispered, "It broke us every time. Coming back and being torn apart so brutally, every time. The fact that we're even sitting here like this..." He pressed his cheek against mine and I closed my eyes, savoring everywhere we touched like it was the last time.

Because we never knew when the last time would be and that danger lurking was terrifying.

"I'm sorry I forgot," I whispered. Wren sniffled.

"You have got to stop apologizing for other people's mistakes, baby. You've only ever tried your best to do what is right. It's not your fault everyone else is an asshole."

"But I'm still sorry I wasn't strong enough to fight through it..."

"I should have never put you in the position to suffer in the first place," Wren murmured and I shook my head in denial, but Wren stared at me, "No, we could've just let it go, Jasper. Milo. Me. We could've just let Yhwhwa do what he needed to do to feel safe. We could've just let it go and died the way the universe intended."

"Bullshit," I managed, making Wren scowl at me as I squeezed him, "You were angry because your people were being slaughtered. Your entire family was torn apart. What that asshole did was fucking wrong. It doesn't matter how scared you are, you never resort to fucking genocide."

Wren blinked a few times, then looked up at me.

"I know. Laying blame isn't going to change anything. It'll only ignite the fire further."

"But there also has to be a level of accountability," I muttered, making Wren frown, "You always taught me there were consequences to teach people to change. No one changes because you told them to. They need to learn how and why."

Wren sat with that, as did I. We went back to sipping our coffee thoughtfully. My phone buzzed on the table and we glanced over to see Ryk's name on the screen.

I rolled my eyes and Wren gave me a droll stare as he set his coffee aside and answered it for me, putting Ryk on speaker as Wren sat back on me with his coffee again.

"If this is about another blood test," I started, pausing when I heard someone's voice in the background and it took me a moment to realize it was Hades's and Rowan's.

"Could you come downstairs to exam room six specifically?"

"Am I going to be poked?"

"Ah, no, it's just the biggest room for us all to sit in here and discuss—"

"There is nothing to discuss, he doesn't need to be here—" Hades.

"He is part of this family. If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't even have Niko—" Was that Rowan?

"Shut the fuck up—"

"Uhh," I glanced slowly at Wren, who was staring at me with his eyes wide, his mouth open, and honestly I was momentarily stunned myself before I got my mouth working, "Can I just pass on this one?" Wren immediately scowled, reaching for the phone, but I caught his wrist and yanked him across my body, making him gasp.

"No," Ryk said slowly, after a long pause where I was grimacing and fighting Wren to stay away from the phone, "Please?" I shut my eyes, because he was doing that on purpose. If there was one thing I regretted where Ryk was concerned, it was that he knew exactly how to whip out the puppy eyes.

The worst part was that he was so good at it that I didn't even need to see his face.

I could hear it in his voice, picture it perfectly in my mind's eye.

Darling even whined like a fucking impatient dog.

"Is it really important?" I asked after a moment, managing to get Wren across my body, completely encased in my arms and legs. He wriggled, making muffled indignant protests against my hands.

"It will probably be the most important conversation of your life," Ryk offered, making me roll my eyes and tilt my head back in exasperation, "Probably. Maybe."

"Wow, that's so reassuring, but also completely accurate," came Hades's deadpan voice, "In that it probably most likely isn't the most important—"

"We have test results we collected from when we built your arm," Rowan's voice said immediately and I heard Hades make a noise of disgust, "Jasper, Hera lied to you—"

"Why is it that when nobody wants you to fucking talk, you suddenly decide you have everything in the world to say—"

"Hades!" Was that Yiuwa too?

"Jasper." Ryk's absolute distress.

"Ugh."

Wren glared at me. His look told me to go to them. I really did not want to. The idea of dealing with that fucking train wreck now of all times when I still felt so battered and bruised was not my idea of self-care.

At the same time, I felt bad for Ryk. He was the only voice of fucking reason when it came to those two. He loved them too much to lay into them full throttle.

Guess that meant it was my time to shine.

Of course, I wasn't gonna drag this out any longer and I wasn't about to leave Wren here to enjoy the peace and quiet.

With my body still wrapped around him, I teleported us from our loveseat in his room downstairs to the medical wing, the exact room Ryk had indicated.

We landed right on the hospital bed, still entangled. Wren gasped in horror, shoving at my chest as his cheeks flushed red to the tips of his ears. I smirked at him and I heard Hades make a noise of disgust, Ryk sigh and probably wonder why the fuck he bothered calling me.

Rowan covered his face, put his hand on his hip, and just turned away. I could only guess he was starting to regret wanting to talk to me. Yiuwa just sighed and cocked his head, giving me a droll stare.

"You rang?" I asked, finally releasing Wren when he thwacked me in the chest. I smirked at him as he shoved away from me and got off the bed, giving his clothes sharp embarrassed tugs to adjust. I sat up as Ryk cleared his throat and reached for the tablet on the counter, but Hades took it away and powered it off, making Ryk curse at him.

"Thank you for coming," Rowan said, making me turn to look at him as I hopped off the bed. I was surprised to see him, considering I hadn't seen him since I knocked him upside the head.

"You're a hard guy to find. Glad I didn't have to stalk the halls to find you this time," I replied. Hades smirked and Ryk elbowed him, cutting him a look that told him not to encourage me.

Except his cute look at Rowan for getting scolded was, in fact, very encouraging.

"So what's Hades trying to hide this time," I asked, walking over and taking the tablet from Hades, who immediately reached for it back, but I quickly turned a full circle to avoid him and kept walking over to where Rowan was standing with his arms folded over his chest. Hades stopped short, like he realized pursuing me for the tablet was only gonna make him look guilty and silly.

I powered the tablet up as I came over to stand between Rowan and Yiuwa, who was watching me with an arched brow of amusement. The screen loaded up to a sign in and the moment it did, Rowan took the tablet out of my hands, typed in his username and password, then handed it back to me.

"Cool," I said as Hades shot Rowan a murderous glare.

"It specifically says in your contract not to share your personal information with non-medical personnel—"

"Really?" Ryk asked, turning to look at Hades, who shrugged.

I watched the screen load up what had previously been viewed. It looked like a list of test results and while most of it was difficult to understand because I didn't entirely know medical lingo, I managed to catch a few words that stood out to me. Elevated hormone levels, the strange heart murmur, a low red blood cell count. There were just so many red highlights everywhere and that alone told me that none of this information was good.

"What does this mean," I said with a frown, "The heart murmur?"

"Trauma sustained from Bethany's attack," Hades said immediately, making Ryk glare at him, "She nearly killed you with that one blast. Slightly more to the left and you would be dead."

"Fuck," Wren managed, looking weak in the knees. He took a step back and Yiuwa came to lower him into a seat as I scrolled through the tests.

"Elevated hormone levels?" I asked. Hades kept his eyes locked on me, like he was waiting for me to get to something on the test. Probably the thing that he was afraid of me reading.

"Being close to Wren has caused your hormone levels to rise. His curse is stabilizing the hormones you lost when Hera gave you a, well, whatever a hysterectomy is for you."

"Red blood cells," I murmured thoughtfully, "Anemia?"

"Yes."

"How do I have anemia?"

"Your diet—"

"You took a urine sample?" I asked, looking up at Hades with a glare and he shrugged, averting his eyes until he realized Ryk was glaring at him, his arms folded over his chest, like he was waiting for Hades to take some accountability. Hades frowned at him, clearly not understanding what was wrong with taking someone's urine without their consent.

Not that that was the part that bothered me.

The question is, how the fuck did he get it without my knowledge?

I grimaced, giving Hades a quick glance.

"That's gross, dude."

"Yeah. Well. Kinda glad I did."

I frowned, looking back down at the results as I scrolled to the next page. I stared at the results, unsure what I was looking at. I blinked a few times, then looked up at Hades, who stared at me intently. Wren was looking back and forth between us before he abruptly surged forward, as if realizing what Hades was hinting at.

"That's impossible," I said as Wren took the tablet and stared at it, only to turn white as a sheet. I stared at Hades, waiting for him to laugh or make a joke. He seemed to have no problem poking fun at Ryk in the past, judging from what I'd seen of Ryk's past, but it looked like a little part of Hades had grown the fuck up, because now he was just staring at me with a look of pure anxiety.

"No, that's impossible," I repeated as Wren stared at the tablet, rereading over and over again, "Hera removed everything. She told me she did."

"Yeah, that's the thing," Hades said, "She didn't remove everything. She took what she needed and closed you up, to use you again later when she needed you." I felt like he was saying more, but suddenly my ears felt like they were ringing and the rest of his words were drowned out. All I could do was watch his mouth open and close, then his scowl when he realized I couldn't hear what he was saying.

I felt someone's hand on my arm, trying to guide me to the bed to sit down again, but I immediately moved away from that bed. I didn't want to look at a hospital bed right now, not with the stomach bile burning a path up my throat.

Hades stepped aside just in time for me to barrel past him to the sink at the counter, vomiting into the stainless steel. Shudders wracked me as I stared into the sink, feeling Wren's hands on my back, trying to soothe me, despite the swirling nausea.

She didn't remove everything.

She took what she needed and closed you up, to use you again later when she needed you.

That made no sense. Those numbers made no sense.

How could I have possibly been pregnant twice without knowing it? How could I have been pregnant recently when the only person I had been with was Wren, and he had yet to actually come inside me? How could I have carried anything in a body that was supposed to have been carved to pieces?

No, an abrupt rationality within me realized.

No, it made perfect sense.

Hera kept me at her side at all times. She was always calling to check on me, always making sure I slept, that I ate when I was with her. During those months after Milo passed, everything had been a blur. Literally, I couldn't remember ever seeing Hera come to my bedside to touch me or hurt me or do anything aside from cry or pet my head.

But she sent a lot of doctors to make sure I was still alive.

She sent Kali to check on me constantly and give her updates on my health.

At some point, I vaguely remembered laying under a bright light, but I had just thought it was the sunlight pouring in through the curtains of the apartment. I felt gloved hands feeling my chest, down my arms, around my stomach and groin.

There was nothing tender or sexual, but clinical and invasive.

Hera had Milo's DNA on hand. She had all of our DNA on hand, at all times.

I felt like I was going to be sick again.

Oh god, I realized in agony. How long? How long had she done this to me? How long was she just cutting me open whenever she wanted, taking out every attempt at a perfect weapon? I brushed my hand over my stomach, then immediately yanked my hand away to prop me up over the sink to keep from crumpling to the floor.

Oh god, the artificials... what if one of them was...?

"We shouldn't have brought it up now of all times," Hades was saying as I tried to force myself to zone back into the present, "It doesn't change anything now. All we did was throw his focus off more than it was before—"

"You can't keep hiding things to protect people," Ryk scolded, making Hades glare at him, "That is not how you protect people. He has the right to know what is happening with his own body. There is never a good time to tell someone something like this, so it was better to get the band-aid off now."

"Yeah, he just lost his fucking sister, let's just pile on that he lost babies he didn't even know about," Hades snapped callously.

"Hades," Yiuwa said in distress, "That is absolutely not how you handle this situation. At the very least have some compassion when you speak about things like this. It may be nothing to you, but he's clearly upset about it."

"It absolutely fucking is not nothing to me," Hades said heatedly as I sank back against the wall and slid down to the floor where Wren went with me, putting his arms around me to hold my head to his chest, "Do you have any idea how much I fucking get it? But giving him useless information he can't change is just going to make it harder for him to focus on the task at hand."

"And what task is that," Yiuwa asked, making Hades narrow his eyes, "Wait for Hera to come to us and kill another one of us? What if this time she kills one of your sons? Will you pay attention then, Hades?" Hades's eyes flashed and he took a step toward Yiuwa, but Ryk was there to put his hand on Hades's chest to make him step back. Yiuwa didn't flinch or back down, just kept his eyes locked on Hades, who glared.

"The killing has to stop," Hades started.

"And it stops with Hera," Yiuwa agreed. Hades stared at him and Yiuwa stared back.

Neither of them were going to let up.

"We can't do this now," Rowan spoke up, coming toward to touch Yiuwa's arm and Yiuwa frowned, glancing at him, "We can argue later. Right now, we need Jasper to know the truth. We need Wren to know the truth."

"Then," Wren murmured slowly, looking up at them, "Hera had him impregnated. And took his— and took the babies every time."

"I can tell you right now she was disappointed at least twice," Hades said, making us stare at him as he frowned, "You have scarring in your uterus that indicates you had two miscarriages that were scraped out."

"I was pregnant three times," I said hollowly. It didn't sound like a normal thing to say. It felt foreign in my mouth.

"According to your test results, your final pregnancy was a success. The fetus grew to a normal size and was removed through cesarean after six months, three days, and four hours. I'd say at least two months ago," Hades explained. He sounded so clinical, so formal.

Somehow that made it worse, because it didn't make me feel like a parent.

It made me feel... like an experiment.

Two months ago.

That was shortly after I returned from another mission, because Hera needed me to deliver Ryk to her safehouse. I felt more nausea swirling in my gut as I realized what Hera's intention had been; to use Ryk exactly the way she had used me. To produce an offspring with the Beast genetically coded into our bloodline, Hades's bloodline, so she would be able to make her perfect army.

She'd be able to impregnate us whenever she wanted, using any one of the handlers she had specifically chosen for having angelic connections.

She chose our handlers specifically.

Milo was my chosen handler, because Hera knew about the antichrists, knew about their secret relationship with the Beasts. I immediately went through a list in my head and found myself thinking of Niko first.

Niko's chosen handler had been Mikhail. From the very beginning Hera had been intent on using Mikhail to control Niko. Mikhail was powerful, threatening, a slimy bastard who used torture tactics to terrify his prey into obeying. A jinn, as far as I knew, but I also knew that jinn had their own secrets, their own connections to Heaven.

Hera had chosen April to control Kali. April was also skilled in the art of manipulation and using abuse and force to make Kali do what she wanted. April was a vampire, though. What connection could she possibly have to heaven that would make her valuable?

Or maybe... April was never an endgame for Kali.

After all, I had a feeling Aric hadn't been Hera's endgame with Ryk. Hera hated Aric, everything about the little incubus had made her skin crawl, with good reason, but she had insisted on using Aric to keep Ryk controlled long enough for us to get our hands on him. Aric's manipulation, his seduction, his overall ability to sneak his way into Ryk's world, his heart, made him the perfect handler, but his selfish desires that resulted from the mission were what led to Hera's next order.

If you can, my love, I remembered her voice saying over the phone as I stood in that room with Ryk's jacket balled in my fist, go ahead and take out the trash on your way home. I think the incubus has served his purpose. In fact... Ryk has been such a good boy this whole time. Let him have a bite.

And then when she recalled Elias, and Polly...

Why recall Polly to Valhalla if she was just going to die?

What was the point of freeing Elias from the Atlantean chapter when he'd been sent there, deemed useless for anything, but experimentation?

There was something missing.

Something dire.

It circled back around to the bitter acrid taste of fear on the back of my tongue when I realized that I had a child that was still there; still trapped behind sterile white walls in a prison with one of the most dangerous gods of all time.

"Oh god," I managed, looking up and making Hades glance at me, "I have a child. I have a child still in that fucking nightmare—" I choked off and covered my mouth. Wren squeezed his eyes shut, bowing his head against mine as he tried to comfort me.

"Kali has been extremely helpful there," Hades said, making me blink and look up to see him walking over to pick up the tablet, powering it off, "When she left the compound, she grabbed an SD card. We spent the last couple days decoding the security on all the files. We have found the location of the other artificials, and they are not in Valhalla."

Not Valhalla?

"But Tenji's laboratory is there," I started, but my voice trailed as I looked over at Rowan, who met Hades's eyes. They seemed to be having some kind of silent conversation, and while I wanted to know exactly what was being said, I was really not in the mood to deal with the backlash, so instead, I growled low in my throat, making them both look at me.

"Where are they?" I demanded. Hades looked at Rowan, who met my eyes. There was an eerie little flash of gold, just for a split second before it was gone. It could've been the light reflecting off his eyes, but it wasn't the first time I'd seen something odd flash in those eyes of his, or Hades's.

"The Garden of Hesperides," Rowan answered at last.

My stomach plummeted.

The Garden of Hesperides was Hera's sacred land. It was bestowed upon her by the hand of Gaia for accepting Zeus and ensuring his reign as king. I had never actually seen the location myself and had assumed that it was either destroyed when Hera left Olympus, or moved to a vanishing isle for safety reasons.

Either way, I had no idea where that was and the fact that I once again did not know where the rest of my family was put me on pins and needles.

"How the fuck are we supposed to get in there?" I whispered.

"Where even is it," Wren asked, turning to look at Hades, "I thought, according to legend, it was in the mortal realm. Somewhere near Spain."

"Hera split it off," Hades answered, "When the laws changed and we were told to avoid mortals, she wasn't going to abandon the one thing she'd been given by a higher power. She had Poseidon hit it with an earthquake and it split the garden right off the southwest coast of Spain. She created a portal and had the garden moved to Olympus's plane of existence, but it doesn't exist on the same side as Olympus."

"The same side?" I asked. Hades nodded.

"Olympus was created a lot like Atlantis. Think of it like a coin. Heads is the Olympus we all know and love, like Leanorius, but tails is the other side of Olympus, or our version of Xandria. The one only accessible through a portal. It was Hera's safe place where she ran to whenever things got hard on Olympus. Zeus let her have it because in his eyes, it was useless... It also has the only remaining entrance to Cronus's stomach realm."

My blood ran cold.

"Cronus is dead," I stated. Hades stared at me.

"Yes. But death leaves a rotting carcass sometimes."

"He died years ago."

"Realms don't decompose like their rulers," Hades muttered, glancing at Rowan, who averted his eyes, "They wither away much slower."

"Are you trying to tell me that the artificials, my child, is in a fucking hell realm?" I managed, feeling sick all over again. Hades shut his eyes for a moment before blinking them open.

"I don't know for sure. All I know is that there is evidence in what Kali obtained that proves the other artificials are in the Garden of Hesperides. It just so happens to also have the one and only entrance to the stomach realm there too," Hades replied, then sighed, "She fed you the Valhalla bullshit because she wanted to throw you off and scatter you. When Kali dug deeper and realized there was more to it, she found their location. Amongst some other things that are going to be very important if we're going to put a stop to all of this."

I stared up at him.

"Can you do that," I asked, making him frown, "Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that you are willing to do everything in your power to protect your loved ones? Even if it means killing Hera? Or are you going to stand back and hope Hera will come to her senses?"

"I need to know," I added quickly, staring at him intensely, "I need to know if you have any kind of logic that tells you there's another way. Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that killing Hera isn't the only way to stop her? Do you honestly think we can sit down and have an honest talk with her? Rationally explain that everything she's done up until now is a result of a millennia of trauma? Do you think she is capable of taking accountability for the fucking misery she's wrought until now? Or better yet, Hades, can you look Niko in the eyes, look Ryk in the eyes, and tell them wholeheartedly that you believe Hera deserves a second chance?"

My words rattled him.

I could see it in the way his eyes widened ever so slightly, the glow firing off so bright that for a minute, it hurt my eyes to maintain eye contact, but I didn't dare break away. I needed to know if Hades was about to become an asset or a liability. I needed to know if Yiuwa was right, and maybe we needed to form some kind of secret plan on the side for when Hades's hopes and prayers are dashed by reality.

I knew at that moment that every memory he had of Hera was going through his mind. From the moment he was forced to hold her in his arms, barely more than a child himself, to the moment Hera went chasing after him, screaming and crying for his help while he hid away in his own darkness. Every time Hera came to him and her very soul seemed to slowly be consumed by this insane darkness that desired to be fed by the blood of those she felt ignored her screams.

I knew he was picturing every sneer she threw in his direction, every curled lip, every spat insult. After her divorce from Zeus, he'd sought her out to see if maybe that was the one decision that would change her world.

And weirdly, I could see the memory now.

I hadn't dived into Hades's mind.

He was sharing it with me willingly.

An image of Hera standing on a beautiful antique style balcony that overlooked an old Scottish city in the mortal realm. She drew a mug of coffee to her lips, taking a long sip before breathing out a sigh. There was a ripple of magic in the air and Hades appeared in the tiny apartment, dwarfing the little shoebox with his massive presence. He was silent when he appeared and he looked like he wanted to come forward, but he seemed to stop, like he was confused.

"Hera?" He asked, like he wanted to make sure he was seeing her sitting there with a smile on her face. He seemed surprised by her smile, by her calm.

"Hades," she greeted in a soft murmur, "You finally came to visit me on your own." Hades gritted his teeth. He came forward to the balcony doors, having to duck to avoid hitting his head on the doorway, and he paused as he leaned out over Hera, who was just smiling wistfully at the morning sun as it climbed over the city of Edinburgh, Scotland.

"I want... to talk," Hades said after a moment, his voice quiet.

"It's too late for talking," Hera answered, making Hades blink and look at her in confusion, "It's too late for apologies, for empty promises... Because I've realized something over the past few years, Hades." He waited patiently for her to finish, then eventually furrowed his brows when she didn't elaborate.

"What do you mean?" He asked at last. Hera smiled, clearly pleased she'd bullied him into continuing the conversation.

"People do whatever they want to do to reach happiness. Even if it means trampling all over someone else's."

Hades winced.

"Hera—"

"Thank you, Hades," Hera said, tilting her head back and smiling up at Hades, who froze as he met her razor sharp blue eyes, "For teaching me such a valuable lesson." Hades looked like he'd been sucker punched in the stomach. He stared at her as she looked away with a wistful sigh, placing her coffee on a nearby glass end table and she rose to her feet, tightening the robe around her waist.

"I realize now what I must do in order to obtain that which I desire most."

"Hera, I can help you—"

"No, you've shown to be exactly as useless as Rhea thought," Hera said and Hades seemed rooted in place now as he stared at her, her words clearly spearing him through the chest, "It makes sense why she threw all her chips in on Zeus. He was willing to do whatever it took to be king, to maintain that position." She paused to smile slowly, folding her arms over her chest as she approached Hades, having to tilt her head back to stare up at him, despite being quite tall herself.

"At least, until he was wooed by the slutty demon," Hera murmured, then tapped Hades's chest teasingly, giving him a wicked smirk, "It's so funny to me. In the end, our mother was a fucking idiot to put all her trust in a couple of stupid little boys who can barely regulate their own hormones, let alone their own realms. No... mother put her chips in on the wrong kid."

"In the end, all you and Zeus did was the dirty work," Hera said, flicking her hand at Hades dismissively, "Now it's time for a real mother to come in and clean up the mess." Hades blinked, then scowled at her as she brushed past him into the apartment.

"You don't need to worry about me anymore, big brother," Hera said, going to shut off her coffee machine and take a couple pieces of toast out of the toaster to smear it with avocado, "I know how to play the game now. I'll be fine, so there will be no need for you to check up on me any longer."

"Hera—"

"I love you, Hades," Hera murmured and Hades froze, looking caught off guard by her words as he turned to look at her, but she kept her back to him as she poured the remaining coffee down the drain, "I think I've always loved you in more than ways than one. I had such high hopes for you, for us, for our family—"

"What're you—"

"But it's always the ones we love most who hurt us the most, isn't that so," she murmured, cocking her head as she set the coffee pot back in the machine and stared at the buttons, "Love is so painful sometimes that I wonder why I bother. Maybe that's the masochist in me. Desperately wanting to love and having it thrown back in my face at every turn."

"But it doesn't matter anymore," Hera continued with a shrug, "I know you came running here to tell me how excited you are, Hades, but in all honesty, please choke on it. Fucking suffocate in that big pretty house of yours... and maybe consider a garden."

Hades frowned.

"Or maybe a cemetery?" Hera mused with a smirk.

"Don't say that," Hades said immediately, moving toward her, but Hera chuckled and it made him stop.

"Sorry, I'm still waking up. I'm going to take a shower, Hades. If you're done standing there trying to play the victim, do me a favor and get the fuck out of my sight. I have more important things to do, like deep cleaning my toilet."

Hera's words were harsh and I knew that cut Hades deep. He had gone to Hera with the intention to, yes, share that things had settled down for him and he was ready to take a step forward with her. He was in a good place and he wanted to show Hera that she, too, could reach that place of stability, to move on and find happiness.

Unfortunately, it was too late for Hera.

By the time he showed up to apologize, for shit he didn't even need to apologize for, Hera had already begun the process of creating me. She'd gone through a few failures before I had successfully survived and made it to not just childhood, but adulthood. She used the same sequence she used for me to create the next few artificials, just different genetic strands to see if she could get as close to perfect as she could imagine.

As I came back to the present, I found myself staring back at Hades again, but this time, I could see the raw fear simmering in those glowing blue eyes. It was tangible. I had felt it myself so many times. That fear that someone was coming for us— Hera was coming for us, and she was not going to relent until she was satisfied.

I saw the fear in Hades's eyes that he would have to do the one thing he had been avoiding this entire time.

Killing Hera.

For a moment, I felt sorry for him. Not Hera, not her bullshit, but Hades. He'd been forced into a shit situation, having to raise his own siblings, only for each and every one of them to turn their backs on him. It made total sense in that moment why Hades hadn't been keen on accepting me into his family right away, why he did not trust me.

Even worse, I rolled up here, telling him the only way to solve all of his problems... was to kill the baby sister he spent years and years trying to raise and protect and love to the best of his ability. I was telling him to throw away all that time he spent trying to make things work and switch to the mythologically simple task of killing her.

From my point of view, the decision was easy. I had seen glimpses of Hera underneath her Motherly facade, saw bits and pieces of her that still existed after all this time. The part of her that made jokes, the part of her that was confounded by simple mortal things, the part of her that just wanted to curl up beside me on the sofa so she could put her arms around me. I had spent a few nights, just the two of us, sitting on the sofa and listening to mindless television.

Hera did not seek comfort in Bethany, she did not seek comfort in Tenjin, or even Hades himself. No, she came running to my apartment whenever something upset her. She'd curl up next to me and just watch television in silence.

The fact of that matter was, however, that Hera did none of that with the intention to soothe me or love me or spend time with me. She sought me out only because she wanted me at that moment, because she needed me, not vice versa. I was supposed to be her child, and yet when it came right down to it, I wasn't even that to her.

I was a dog.

I came when she called, I sat when she told me to, and I killed whoever she felt was a threat to her power.

Hera did not want me.

She did not want a child.

She did not want a lover.

Hera simply wanted to be the center of someone's world.

In her weird warped vision of the world, she would only find true happiness if she could find someone who loved her so much they were willing to worship the very ground she walked on. She wasn't in love with love, or anyone else.

She was in love with herself.

I had seen the ugly side of Hera and I had seen the funny side of Hera. I had seen her seethe with rage, sigh contentedly as she snuggled under the blankets like a child. I had seen her slit the throats of people who just looked at her the wrong way or asked the wrong questions. I watched her torture Tenjin on almost daily basis, something she insisted I stick around to watch.

Almost like she was showing me that no matter how useful I was to her, no matter how important, at the end of the day, I was expendable. Like Tenjin, like Hades, like Zeus. She didn't want me or Hades. She wanted power.

That cold harsh realization was what made me realize that Hera wasn't going to live in peace if we left her alone. She was going to keep coming back, keep tormenting innocent people, just so she could pursue revenge against someone who probably would lay down and let her carve his throat open.

Hera was beyond reason.

She was lost in her delusions, lost to a darkness that no one, but her, could stop.

And she wasn't going to.

Because that was the one constant in her life.

"Hera doesn't care what you have to say anymore," I murmured, and I watched Hades's eyes gleam, like the words cut him to the quick, and I hated watching that pain flash through his eyes, but he needed someone to stop playing around with pleasantries.

He needed brutal honesty.

"Her endgame is to kill you," I said to Hades, "Kill Zeus. Joxeia. Poseidon. Demeter. She'll kill every single one of your children and your grandchildren. She was already more than prepared to forcibly impregnate Hadrian and use him to supply her with soldiers. She had me go pick up Ryk to bring him back to base, so that she could impregnate both of us, whenever she wanted more soldiers. She is willing to resort to rape, to genocide, to manipulation, torture, whatever she feels she needs to do to get you right where she wants you. Because she isn't just going to kill you quick, Hades."

"In her eyes, you failed her. And now she wants to make sure you see every failure you've ever even dreamed of happening. She wants to stand there and watch you tear yourself apart until there is nothing left, but the same miserable darkness that consumes her."

"Hera is not going to listen to you, Hades. Because she doesn't fucking care."

Wren flinched, giving me this look like I was being a little harsh there, but Hades needed to understand the gravity of the situation. It was like he kept convincing himself that if he worked hard enough, he'd be able to fix things, but the problem is that it wasn't Hades's job to fix everyone and everything.

As much as I wanted him to save Polly, it was wrong of me to depend solely on him.

That dependency on him was only making him think that he was the only one who could save everyone. That dependency had to be so fucking heavy, so brutal, especially when he failed, and especially when that failure resulted in someone's death.

Hades hadn't joined us for Polly's funeral.

He remained hidden in his office, those black velvet curtains drawn, as if he couldn't bear the sight of the tree where we'd gathered for her service. He hadn't said much regarding Polly since then, but any idiot with an inferiority complex would know that Hades was destroyed by it. He felt someone's life slip through his fingers, and not just anyone's life, but Polly's.

He may have just met her, but that was still his granddaughter.

He was still forced to stand by and only watch as Cerberus and Blaine mourned. Keros and Holly, too, had wept for days after. It was a cold slap in the face that Hades was not, in fact, the most powerful being in the world.

He was just one of the most aware.

And perhaps that in itself was both a blessing and a curse.

To know that you cannot save everyone, no matter how much power and magic and luck you have on your side... It had to be such a traumatizing realization for a god, someone who had been raised in a society that gods were the ultimate power.

No, being a god was absolutely miserable.

Knowing you had all that power and yet you were still confined to the restrictions of reality.

Not everyone could be saved.

But that didn't mean you could give up.

"We still have a family to protect," I said at last, making Hades blink, like he was snapping out of his own little mental health spiral, "We still have people that we love and care about. You and me. People who are now at risk. If we don't stop Hera, she will stop us and I guarantee you it's going to be worse than what we saw with Polly. A whole lot worse." Hades clenched his teeth.

I think my words scared him. He didn't say anything or show much more than the tic in his jaw, but strangely, after seeing that memory of Hades and Hera... I felt like I could see his fear very easily now.

Because it was a reflection of my own.

"I know it's scary. I know it's hard. I can't begin to imagine how fucking much it hurts to have some little asshole sit here and tell you that the answer to our problems right now is killing your little sister," I said and Hades actually flinched at that, averted his eyes because he was feeling far too exposed with that comment. At the same time, that was exactly what I wanted. I needed Hades to know that I understood, that I knew it wasn't going to be easy...

And that he wasn't going to be alone.

"We're going to do this together," I said, making Hades frown and look up, "You are not the sole savior of the universe, Hades, you're just the one who gives us the hope to keep trying. Rowan didn't make you with the intention to save the universe alone. He made you because he wants to see some kind of hope in this world prevail. Don't give up and don't let people like Hera destroy our purpose here."

"We are hope because we try. We are hope because we love. We are hope because we still believe there is good in the world. We've seen it, felt it, heard it. It's still there. It may not be what we wanted, but it will be what the universe needs. What we need if we are ever going to move forward."

Hades was silent as he absorbed that.

Rowan's green eyes twinkled. My words moved him and I knew a small part of him instinctively wanted to go to Hades to comfort him, but he remained where he was, his arms folded tight over his chest.

A moment later, Yiuwa drifted to Rowan's side and it startled him. He looked up and Yiuwa stared at him.

"Perhaps it's time we all moved forward?" He asked softly. Rowan looked over at Hades, who averted his eyes for a moment, like the attention made him uncomfortable. I think a part of Hades really did want to reach out to Rowan, to form some kind of connection, but it was hard to find the strength to reach out when you were so used to being rejected. I was positive Rowan would never reject Hades, but I knew Hades himself wasn't so sure.

He needed to see it.

"Then we need to go to the Garden of Hesperides," Ryk said after a long moment, making everyone look up, "If we are to gather the rest of the artificials."

"Easier said than done," Hades deadpanned, making Ryk and I frown at him, "The portal to the garden is hidden. Only Hera knows where it's at. Even Zeus hasn't been able to find it, and he started looking shortly after Hera left, just in case there was something left behind."

"Weird that she'd hide anywhere near Olympus," Rowan commented suddenly. Hades looked at him.

"Olympus has been the only place she's ever called home... But the garden is nothing like Olympus. It's supposed to be a massive apple orchard guarded by a dragon shifter named Ladon."

"Dragon shifter?" I asked. Hades nodded, folding his arms over his chest.

"He came with the land Gaia gave Hera. He lived in the orchard long before Gaia ever gave it to Hera. He was in charge of guarding the golden apple tree," he said and when I stared at him blankly, he frowned slowly, "The Apple of Discord. Eris. Trojan War. Ring any bells?"

"Yeah, but what the hell does that have to do with anything now? Why use the garden to hide artificials? Isn't it just an apple orchard then?" I asked.

"What if Ladon was never guarding apples to begin with," Yiuwa said suddenly and we turned to look at him in confusion, "The legend says he was in charge of guarding apples. Perhaps the wording was chosen specifically to avoid giving the location of the artificials. Perhaps Hera has been hiding most of her plans right under Zeus's nose this whole time."

"She said she's been planning this since before Ryk was even born," Rowan pointed out.

"Makes sense that she was able to create me without anyone knowing," I said, "I hadn't been allowed out of the compound until I was a kid, and even then I was directly supervised by Milo or Hera at all times. I was never allowed out alone until I was an adult."

"That might be where she created Bait," Ryk added, making me blink and turn to look at him with a scowl, "He was the original and he mentioned that he often had dreams about a garden."

"Wait, who—"

"Makes sense," Hades agreed and he was taking out the tablet again to sign in, "Jasper's genetic makeup is still really weird and it's more than just the reincarnation thing. I think it has something to do with the garden. It might be why Bait was even able to survive the way he was born."

"But why keep the supposedly defective one alive and the successful one?" Yiuwa asked, looking at Hades, who was just tapping away at his tablet. I scowled, looking at Wren, who was frowning at their discussion.

"Wait, what are they talking about," I said, making Wren look at me, "What is Bait?" Wren blinked, then turned to stare at me.

"Bait," he said after a moment and when I just stared at him blankly in confusion, he frowned slowly, "Hera's biological child."

"That's impossible," I replied immediately, "Hera was never able to reproduce using her own DNA. The effects of Cronus's stomach realm on her genetic makeup meant that no matter what children she produced or how, they would never survive or live into adulthood. I know there were three failed artificials before I was created, but all three of them died." Wren stared at me, then looked over my head at Hades and Rowan, who shared wary stares.

"Who the fuck would have a kid with Hera?" I asked at last, confused. It didn't make sense. The whole reason Hera was gungho about the artificial army was because she couldn't produce her own children. She wanted artificially created soldiers to fill the slots in her army to face Hades.

"She never told you about Bait?" Hades asked. I scowled.

"That's a horrible name. That's not actually his name, is it?"

"No," Ryk admitted, making me look at him, "Technically, he was given no name. He just insisted we call him that the moment we met him." I stared at him as my stomach seemed to turn sour, shrinking in on itself.

"No," I said in denial, shaking my head slowly, "No, it just doesn't make sense. I have never seen or met anyone named Bait, no one who looked like Hera, or..."

"Because that's what he was used for," Wren murmured quietly and I looked at him, not sure what he meant by that until I stared at him longer and my eyes widened in realization, "She kept him locked in some kind of cage and he was only taken out when they needed to experiment on him or use him to train the other soldiers... You never even saw him then?"

"No," I managed, slumping back against the wall and drawing my knees up so I could rest my elbows on them, raking my hands through my hair, "No, I only ever sparred with Milo or other soldiers, but never... never..."

"Interesting," Hades muttered, walking over to take a seat on the spinning stool at the doctor's counter so he could scan his tablet, "Bait is only a couple years older than you, Jasper. He was probably a toddler when you were born." I thought long and hard, trying to think back to anyone I might've seen that would fit that kind of description, but it still didn't seem to fit right.

"What does he look like?" I asked at last. Hades glanced at me, then at Rowan, who frowned. They were having another one of those private telepathic conversations before Rowan finally reached out, took the tablet from Hades, and handed it to me.

I took the tablet and froze at the images on the screen.

"Those are his medical images," Hades said grimly, "Keep in mind, he came to us like that."

I wanted to vomit.

The person in the pictures did not look like they were older than me. He looked so much smaller, so much weaker. His long black hair was a rat nest of tangles, knots, and it looked like a bunch of leaves and twigs were sticking out of it. He was bruised and scarred everywhere, from his eerily mismatched eyes of brown and blue to where his left leg appeared to be growing in the most obscenely painful and awkward angle. The literal bone, according to the accompanying X-rays in the chart, was growing at a twisted angle, and the worst part was that it was still growing, unlike the rest of his body, so it was only going to grow more and more twisted as it continued.

To make matters worse, his left hand was destroyed.

He was missing his pinky finger and his ring finger, and the way it looked told me that someone had taken them off. The cut was so clean and surgical, the scar a twisted gnarled thing that climbed up onto his middle finger, clearly making it difficult for him to move it.

His fangs were disproportionately large compared to the rest of his mouth, the rest of his teeth, and even his tongue. Heck, even with his mouth closed, his canines still kind of peeked out at an awkward angle. The dental images also revealed that he had two extra teeth growing through the roof of his mouth, two of his molars were rotted, and he was missing another molar towards the front.

Gods, the medical issues seemed to just go on and on as I scrolled through the charts, feeling sicker and sicker as I read on. I knew Hera had been up to some seriously fucked up shit, but this was almost enough to make me want to throw it down and go after her that very second.

This person, this Bait, was supposed to be a couple years older than me, but the images revealed what looked more like a severely malnourished, stunted, teenager.

"Where is he," I whispered, then looked up as Hades came over and took the tablet from me, "Wait, where is he? Where is this Bait? What happened to him?"

"He's in hiding," Hades said and when I looked at him, confused, he shot me a stern glare, "And stay out of my head. He needs to remain hidden for his own safety."

"Okay, but—"

"When he's ready to talk, you can visit him all you want," Hades said, making me frown, "But at this time, he doesn't talk to us and he doesn't talk to anyone else. Just know that he is safe and sound wherever he is, trying to recover from a lifetime of trauma." I flinched, lowering my eyes to the floor.

"I had no idea... I had no idea he existed..."

"Makes sense, though," Hades answered grimly, "Hera hid the artificials from you pretty well, even your own child. She wasn't about to let you burst through the doors and save him. She was performing numerous experiments on him to boot. She was still using him, but not for what we might think. I'm gonna have to do more digging into his medical chart, which fucking sucks considering this is all we have."

"Was there nothing on the SD card?" I asked. Hades shook his head.

"According to the data on that card, Bait doesn't exist. Never existed."

"Why would she hide him to that extent?" I asked. Hades shrugged.

"For all we know, he's probably another antichrist. Hera was pretty close to Bethany, I would say, but the thing is, he isn't showing any signs of having any magical abilities whatsoever. When we ask him to perform magical tasks to measure his abilities, he doesn't do anything. He can't even turn a faucet on from across the room or summon fire orbs. He can't teleport. When we ran the tests to see if he was just created to be a mortal, we did pick up some kind of magical energy, but the tests don't tell us where or how or why."

"So he has magic," I said. Hades made a kinda-sorta gesture with his hand.

"I think he has magic," he agreed, then shrugged, "But he won't use it or doesn't know how."

"Hera gave up on Seven because he had no magic," I muttered, "But he could still change into a Beast... Bait has magic, but can't use it... He's older than me, right? Isn't that prime age for an angel to come into their abilities?" Hades glanced at Rowan, who frowned with his arms folded over his chest.

"Yes, but he is stunted," he replied warily, "In every way you can think of. He's not even the right height for his age."

"He does look younger than me," I mumbled, considering the one image that stuck in my mind of that first artificial.

The image was... oddly haunting.

Bait was standing against a white sterile wall, his arms down at his sides, his body awkwardly posed thanks to his leg. His hair was still unruly and unkempt, but it looked like someone had moved it aside to reveal his face.

He looked like just a young boy.

But there was something... very odd about his eyes. It wasn't the mismatched colors or the shape of it being strangely familiar. Despite having a body that was young and brutalized, there was something so incredibly ancient and dark in those eyes. There was a threat of danger there.

It was completely at odds with his body.

Something was tugging at the back of my mind. It was strange, almost like Darling was trying to get my attention with something, but whenever I tried to reach for the thought, it was like it got further and further away.

There was a lot more to this than we thought, and my stomach shriveled as I realized things were about to get much, much worse. A little part of me was scared, scared of having to pick up and fight again. Scared of having to put my life on the line, the lives of other people, for something I wasn't entirely sure we could survive.

For the briefest of moments, I really empathized with Hades's intense fear.

The paralyzing realization that if you didn't do something soon, the end of the world was nigh. Especially if doing something meant killing someone you once loved.

I looked up to meet Hades's eyes. There was the deepest flash of gold in those blindingly blue eyes.

"Still ready to face the music?" Hades asked quietly. I looked at Wren, who frowned and grabbed my hand in his, giving it a firm squeeze. He looked at me intensely, like he was telling me exactly where he stood when it came to this war. I squeezed his hand back, drawing his knuckles to my lips to place a kiss there.

I stared at Wren as I answered Hades.

"At full volume."