Soundtrack:

The Heart of the Forest ~ Jeremy Soule (The Dalish)

I looked around to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. My pack was at my side, my swords, bow, and quiver were on my back. The Warden Pendent, along with the one Alistair had given me, hung about my neck. I sighed and left the room I'd been staying in, closing the door behind me. I said my goodbyes to Eamon, who I swear had a look of relief in his eyes, and Teagan, who wished me luck, and Tristan and I made our way to the doors of the palace.

"Leaving without saying goodbye?" Alistair asked from behind me. I had actually hoped to avoid him.

"Apparently not," I muttered before I turned to him. "Before I go to Amaranthine, I'm taking your advice."

"You're going home?"

"For a couple weeks. I need to regain some of my Dalishness, as you put it."

"I'd like to come with you."

"Don't you have king things to do? You really aren't exactly able to go traipsing around the Brecilian Forest looking for the Sabrae Clan with me."

"Then consider it a king thing."

"Alistair..." This wasn't going to help things at all. I was leaving because of him. I just didn't have the heart to tell him that.

"I actually want to discuss an alliance with the Dalish. And I don't think I can find your clan without your help."

I gave him a look but I could see he wasn't going to take No for an answer. Unfortunately. And truthfully, I wasn't even sure if he was really wanting an alliance or he was just wanting to annoy the hell out of me by following me. Or already trying to escape his duties as king.

"Fine. I'll meet you in the courtyard."

I waited in the courtyard, expecting a full escort, and contemplating slipping away before he realized I was gone. I tried my best to ignore the stares from the servants, nobles, and soldiers already there. My Elven hearing picked up many voices talking about the Hero of Ferelden and the new Warden-Commander. I was truly surprised to see only Alistair walk towards me.

"No guards?" I asked.

"You and Tristan are plenty. I left Eamon in charge until I return."

"Keep up, then."

~~~

We had traveled for a few days. It reminded me of our early days. Of course, then we had Morrigan with us. Alistair kept pace with me almost as if he were Dalish as well, used to my speed and gait, although our conversations were sparse. I led us to the point where I had last seen my clan. So many memories. We camped where I had once lived, signs of us having ever been there having been reclaimed by the forest. We didn't say much before we went to sleep that night. I didn't really want to speak to him as it was. The best way for a break to heal was for the bone to be cleanly broken, not a piece still clinging to the rest. We were going to have to go our separate ways and his very presence kept reminding me of that. I found myself wondering what the real reason he was accompanying me was as I drifted off to sleep clinging to the memory of happier times.

The next morning, I rose before Alistair. There was something I needed to do. I was going to go back to the cave. I remembered where it was located as if I had been there yesterday. As I left, Tristan rose to follow.

"Stay with Alistair," I whispered, not wanting to wake Alistair.

He snorted then flopped back down. Normally, I would find Tristan acting like a common dog funny. But today, the humor felt hollow.

I found the cave quickly but I found I couldn't go inside. I couldn't make myself go. Instead, I sat and leaned against a ruined pillar outside the cave and let the memories take over.

" Sounds like a good idea."

"And if we find anything the Keeper will want to know."

"I don't recall seeing this before, do you?"

"No, I don't. Let's check it out."

"My thoughts exactly. With luck, we'll find something that will make us clan heroes!"

"Then let's go."

"We could be discovering our history. Minstrels will write songs about us!"

"Oh come on now," he said. "Always the careful one."

"Someone needs to be."

"This is the only thing here not broken. I wonder what this writing says?"

"Don't touch the glass?"

Tamlen managed a laugh. "I don't think that'll be the problem. Look how clean it is. Did you see that? I think something moved inside the mirror."

My hackles rose at that moment and I felt that there was something very wrong with this mirror, starting with the fact that I'd noticed that there was no reflection. "Get away from it, Tamlen!"

"Hold on. I just want to know what it is. Don't you see it? There it is again! Can you feel that?"

"And I don't like it."

"I think it knows we're here."

"What?"

"I just need to take a closer look."

"Don't." I reached out to grab him but missed as he took a few steps closer and touched the glass. The glass seemed to dance under his fingers, much like water rippling.

"It's... showing me places. I can see... some kind of city... underground? And... there's a great blackness. It... It saw me! Help! I can't look away!"

I rushed towards him, forgetting to be cautious. A bright flash blinded me and I felt myself thrown backward.

I heard movement behind me and looked over my shoulder to see Alistair and Tristan coming towards me. Tristan came and sat next to me, placing his head on my shoulder. I reached up and stroked the side of his face and he nuzzled his face against mine as if he could sense the pain still there. Alistair looked over the ruins outside the cave, but did not say anything. I knew he was dying to ask.

"This is where it all started," I explained. "This is the cave where I was tainted."

Alistair crouched down, still holding his tongue.

"We thought it was a good idea at the time. We hoped to find some great artifact that would make us clan heroes." I shook my head. "All we found was a tainted mirror." I stood, brushing the dirt from my palms.

"You shouldn't keep blaming yourself for that," Alistair said as he stood, the first words he'd spoken. "You couldn't have known what would happen."

"I know." I turned away from the cave. "This is also where I met Duncan for the first time. The memory here is bittersweet." In more ways than one.

If Tamlen hadn't touched that mirror, I wouldn't have met Duncan. If I hadn't met Duncan, I wouldn't have known I'd been tainted. If I hadn't been tainted, I wouldn't have left my clan. If I hadn't left my clan, I wouldn't have met Alistair. And if I hadn't met Alistair, I wouldn't have fallen in love so completely and so hard and then had my heart broken. I walked away from the cave. I finally felt at peace with myself over Tamlen now.

"Let's go find my clan."

~~~

"Take your sister and run!" Ainnileas was squared off against several Sylvans and humans, his staff at the ready. My brother ran towards me, his own staff in his hand.

He knelt down as my father defended against them. "Realin, you have to run."

I was crying, scared.

"You have to run, little sister." But I was too scared to run. My father cried out as he was overwhelmed. One of the Sylvans ran towards me. "RUN!" He turned and defended, sending blast after magical blast at the attackers. Then he, too, was overwhelmed.

~~~

"NOOO!" I screamed and I bolted upright.

They had gone from the Archdemon to an event I didn't even remember. I only knew what killed my father and brother from Keeper Marethari. I didn't understand why there were humans in my dream. They hadn't been involved. Or so I was told. Alistair was sitting next to me, a worried look on his face. I cursed, releasing the belt knife I hadn't known I'd been gripping so tightly my knuckles were white. I put my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands.

"With all the nightmares you had during the Blight I never once saw you react like that."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I... My father was killed defending the clan." I felt I owed him an explanation after that outburst. "I barely remember him and I don't remember that Sylvan attack that took his life. I only know what Keeper Marethari told me what happened to him and..." I had never spoken of my family to Alistair or any of my companions. They all knew my father had been Keeper and that he'd died defending the clan. And they only knew that because of Varathorn's slip. Alistair waited. "And my brother."

"You had a brother?"

"He was the only one of us who inherited our father's magic. He was my father's First. My father died protecting the clan. My brother died protecting me." I fell silent.

"I'm sorry," Alistair said. I truly believed he meant that. He knew what it was like to grow up without his father in his life and Cailan may not have known Alistair was his brother.

"I guess coming closer to home has made me think of them. At least the nightmares aren't of Darkspawn. For the moment."

Alistair chuckled. "I guess that's a plus."

~~~

We finally found my clan at the coast of the Waking Sea, the far northern coast of Ferelden. We'd been directed there by several of the Clans we'd come across. And we also found our sentries.

Salina gave me the Hunters' salute. "Fenarel told us you were alive and well. He said it was your hand that brought down the Archdemon and ended the Blight."

"He told you right."

She nodded towards Alistair. "Who's the Shem?"

"This is Alistair. A fellow Grey Warden and a good friend." Not exactly the whole truth, but Salina didn't need to know that he was the King of Ferelden.

"My apologies, Warden." She turned back to me. "Keeper Marethari will be overjoyed to see you."

"I'm sure she will be."

"Her araval is in the middle of the camp."

"Thanks."

We left her and I led the way through camp. I received several double-takes. Or maybe Alistair was. Or even Tristan. Or all three. I'm sure many of my clan had never seen a warhound. And everyone remembered a human taking me away.

"Why is everyone looking at us like that?" Alistair asked.

"Maybe they think you look funny."

He chuckled. "I actually wouldn't doubt that."

"They are not used to a human or a wardog in camp." 

Tristan bumped my leg when I mentioned "wardog" and I smiled to myself, remembering my mother scolding me for wanting a Shemlen beast. I actually wondered what she would say when she saw my childhood wish had been granted. We arrived at Keeper Marethari's araval.

"Keeper Marethari?" I called. I heard movement inside. A moment later, she came out of the araval.

Her face brightened when she saw me. "By all the Creators!" she cried and embraced me. "I did not think I would see your face in this camp again!" She pulled away and looked me over, putting a hand on my cheek. I had no doubt that I looked so much different from the tainted Hunter she'd sent into the human world in order to save her. "It is so good to see you. Fenarel and the other Hunters told us that you killed the Archdemon. You have brought much honor to your clan." She turned to Alistair. "You must be the other Warden that was at the battle."

"I was, Keeper." He inclined his head. "I am Alistair."

"The newly crowned king, I am told."

"That I am."

"Now why would a king travel all the way to the Dalish?" She motioned to her araval.

Tristan lay down next to the ladder as Alistair and I followed her inside.